Eight month later, I am lying in the bed, screaming from pain. Pain I've never experienced before. I am lying in our marital bed, the bed I start to detest, no hate, even more, after Sinjin let Beckett be killed.
Eight month ago, after reading the letter Beckett left behind for me, I threw up. I thought it was because everything was too much in that moment. My forced marriage, my unwanted and horrible wedding night, my liaison with Beckett, my jealousy towards Victoria, my first time with Beckett, and finally his death. Everything was too much, when considering that more than half of those experiences were negative. So I thought nothing of throwing up. It was just embodying how I felt. But when it happened again in the following days, I started to get panicky. Little did I want a child from the person who killed the love of my life. And I think I wouldn't be able to love that child, even though it's not responsible for the hatred I feel towards Sinjin. My personal doctor came to me and looked for the reason for my throwing ups. Then he said something after I got dressed again, something I didn't want to happen.
"Congratulations, Miss Jadelyn. You're pregnant." I remember, I managed to get out a smile, a fake smile. He told me that exactly one week after Beckett had died and my emotions were revolving all around him.
"Push!" the midwife commands. I let out a desperate moan. I contort my face and I begin to sweat, although that happens rarely.
"Make it stop." I beg, almost crying, because the sharp pain in my lower abdomen is tearing me apart.
"Just push a little bit further. I still can't see the head." she answers, trying to cheer me up. I feel a hand intertwine with mine. I imagine it to be Beckett smiling at me and holding my hand, while I give birth to his child. A smile crosses my face at this. I feel a sudden strength in me, but when another sharp pain begins, it vanishes. I cast up my eyes and see a certain red haired best friend sitting on the bed, holding my hand tightly. Unfortunately it wasn't Beckett, but fortunately it was Caterina. I smile at her.
"Now push!" the midwife commands again and I push, push very hard, but nothing happens.
"I don't want to anymore!" I sob. "It hurts too much." Caterina pulls me closer to her and hugs my head tightly.
"It's going to fine. But the baby wants to come out. So push again, once or twice and it will be over." a familiar voice says. I turn my head a little bit to see Victoria. I smile. Ever since she comforted me, we get along pretty well. We aren't best friends though.
"Caterina, go get hot water in a big bowl. I think it will start soon." the midwife says to Caterina, who immediately stands up and runs out excitedly. "Jadelyn, this is going to hurt, but you have to go through it, understand?" she asks me, checking if I am able to cope with the pain. I nod slightly. A few minutes later, Caterina comes back, looking like she has been in a hurry, a big bowl with steaming hot water in her hands. She lays it down on the bed next to the midwife.
"Jadelyn, you have to breathe steadily and every time I tell you to push, you have to push." the older woman says in a hard an strict tone, which shows me, that she knows what she is doing. She says 'push' and I push. I feel stronger now, after remembering that Beckett is always watching me and helping me, although he is not next to me.
"Very good, I can see the head!" the woman in between my legs said. I try to breathe regularly, try to concentrate on getting this done. She commands to push again. I push, even harder than before. The sharp pain from earlier returns even stronger. I scream loudly in pain, as another scream drowns mine. I open my eyes to see the midwife holding a colourful thing in her hands. A baby. It is some sort of grey, covered with blood. I smile, as I realize it is my baby. My baby. Everyone in the room, Victoria, Caterina, the midwife and two other maids, are smiling and looking at the baby. They clean it and give it to me, after revealing that it is a boy. The baby boy, who was wrapped in sheets, is looking at me with his deep, dark brown eyes. I smile at first, but then frighten. Dark brown eyes? My heart begins to beat faster and every moment that pass I get more nervous. Dark brown? I look around, but every one was happy and smiling, that the royal dynasty got a new family member, to be exact a boy, an heir. They all turn around simultaneously, as Sinjin enters the room. They all take a bow and step backwards to leave him more space to approach me. I gulp. My live will end soon, figuratively. I glare at Sinjin, who looks very happy. A bright smile crosses his face and his blue eyes are shining brightly. Yes, blue eyes. Not brown. My eyes are also blue, so are those of my parents. I look at the baby again, the grey colour slowly vanished, as the dark skin tone becomes visible. Beckett's baby. Not Sinjin. No! Why? I was about to move on, to try to think less about him and then god gives me his baby. Not that I am not happy about that, somewhere deep inside, but I know Sinjin will mind a lot raising a child that isn't his and giving it the heritance, the throne. I look at Sinjin ruefully, as he sits down at the edge of the bed. He takes the baby from me, smiling happily. His expression turns into confusion and anger, as he realizes that this wasn't his child, that it was Beckett's child. I look at him, close to tears. He stands up with the baby. Confusion and anger are suddenly replaced by hatred, hatred towards Beckett and the child. I stop breathing, as I watch him making the next move. He goes to the midwife, who looks confused, because she, like everyone else in the room, doesn't know why he is so unhappy. He turns around to face me; the hatred in his eyes was slowly killing me, as he said to the midwife:
"Go and kill that…something." he commands, the midwife looks at him in shock. She then looks at the baby, realizes the dark skin tone and the brown eyes and suddenly knows why he commanded that. It wasn't his baby. The other maids, same as Victoria and Caterina notice that, too. They lower their heads, avoiding doing or saying anything.
"Prince, but it-" the midwife wants to object, because it's against morality to kill anybody, especially babies, but she was cut off by Sinjin. He looks at her in fury and she flinches, regretting that she said anything.
"Tell everyone outside, that she got a miscarriage." he hisses, after carelessly handing her the baby. He is about to leave, but turns around again. "If anyone of you tells anyone else about the incident, or better: accident, I will throw you in the dungeons and torture you, until you regret that you spread that out, understood?" Everyone nods terrified. "You know what?" Sinjin asks the midwife, she shakes her head hesitantly. "I want you to kill the baby right now, not that you get the dumb idea of rescuing it, by handing it to another family." he finishes.
"But…" she trails off, clearly shocked.
"Human scum has to be disposed." he says, taking the baby from her hands roughly.
"My baby." I scream from the inside, but it came out as a weak whisper.
"My darling, everything is going to be all right. We will get new babies, better babies. And there will be no one, who will get between us." he said reassuring towards me. A single tear was running down my cheek, turning into a loud sob.
"My baby." I whisper again, but he already covers the baby's respiratory tracts with his hand. The baby moves a bit, turning it's head, trying to get fresh air, but it can't. A few moments later, it didn't move anymore. Sinjin hands the baby the midwife again and leaves the room. She still looks shocked, but manages to cover the baby with the sheets it was wrapped in. She also left the room and I begin to cry loudly. Caterina comes to me and hugs me tightly, but I push her away. I want to be alone, like I am supposed to stay alone. Without anyone than a 'loving' husband who would do anything to keep dangers like Beckett away from me. Everyone leaves the room and I press my face against my pillow.
"I hope you don't mind me to say this, but I have never seen the portrayal of an angel ever before." ~ Beckett
"Promise, you'll never forget me." ~ Beckett
"And never, you hear me? Never let yourself be seduced by wrong things. You hear me?" ~ Father
"Why are you so shy?" ~ Sinjin
"I thought I would never see you again, until I heard, that I have to work for the Prince of the Netherlands. I have never been happier before." ~ Beckett
"I wish we could walk away to be together. Just the two of us." ~ Me
"That would be perfect." ~ Beckett
"They are trustworthy."~ Beckett about Robert and André
"I love you, Sinjin" ~ Me
"Beckett." ~ Me
"Do you know where Robert and André are?" ~ Beckett
"Beckett Oliver convicted because of robbery and treason." ~ Executioner
"Jadelyn West, beautiful princess of Scotland, I Beckett Oliver, insignificant servant, will always love you wholeheartedly." ~ Beckett in his farewell letter
"Forbidden love will never win" ~ André
Maybe André was right. 8 months ago, I was convinced that he was wrong, convinced that our love won, despite the fact, that Beckett died, but that our love is still in us. I don't know why I was so dumb, dumb and naïve to think that Beckett and I would have reached our goal of being together. It hadn't just worked out. He was just a simple servant and I am a princess. Those are two different social ranks, in which the people are forbidden to love or marry. Just the own social rank. Sinjin is in my rank, so we are supposed to be, meant to be. This is how it works, how everything works. And that's why Beckett will be just a memory of my broken heart.
AN: THE END! Wow, that made me really sad. No happy ending...But well, something different, right? I couldn't really think of a happy ending, when I first got the idea for this story and that's how it stayed. The idea of Jade getting pregnant from Beck was already in my head, and then Alyson reviewed, wanting me to get Jade pregnant with Beck's child and I thought: Great minds think alike (No, I just thought, that I thought the exact same thing, but whatever) ;) Well, hoped you guys liked it though.
To just saying: I laughed when I read your review, because there was such an irony for me in it. I was researching for this story, like I've never researched for a story before. Like: Can you do this in the middle ages? Did this already exist? And stuff like that, unfortunately I forgot to look up, when the guillotine was invented. Sorry for that, but to bluff it out, there were appliances similar to the guillotine earlier. Hehe.
Okay, here comes my speech: Thank you very much to all who read, reviewed, faved, alerted and enjoyed this story. It was so much fun to write it (except for the sad parts :( ) Thanks for all the nice reviews from you, I really really appreciated them. And I hope you will still be reading stories I'll update. So one last time for this story:
Don't forget to review!
~teddybaer~