Party Assembled

I'm sorry this chapter is so late getting out, you guys! I've had a lot of stuff going on (Various computer troubles, college planning, and an important play) and had to put off writing for some time. This may have been for the best, though, as it allowed more episodes of Regular Show to come out and more planning to happen.

Also, as a point of reference, I'd say this story takes place just before the episodes 'This Mortal Folly/ Mortal Recoil.' That means PB isn't 13 and the snail isn't a ticking time-bomb of pure, necromantic evil. So, y'know; back to basics.

- 42 Zombies

It's Summertime and you know what that means

Gonna head down to the beach,

Gonna do some beachy things…

"I friggin' love this jam," Ernie said to himself as he cruised down the Cross-Dimensional Highway in his newly-recovered Firebird. A long trail of energy connected the cart he had stolen to the car's back bumper, towing it behind him.

It's Summertime, it feels just right

Gonna gather all my friends

And we'll party through the night…

Ernie took another glance around his car to make sure those two moochers hadn't messed it up any. He was pretty sure the short one might have eaten some of the old curly fries lying on the carpet, but other than that everything seemed fine. His old mix-cassette was still stuck in the 8-track player, thank Grog.

It's Summertime luh-uh-loving.

It's loving in the Summertime.

It's Summertime luh-uh-loving.

My baby, why can't you be mine?

Some might say that it's impossible to make a mix-8-track-cassette. But Ernie had done it. With ghosts.

As the Conquistador neared the exit that lead to Ooo, he wondered again where he had seen those two squatters. They looked familiar; almost plot-relatedly so. He decided that he would figure it out later and turned onto the exit, making his way back into Ooo.

"You ready, Jake?"

"I'm ready like spaghetti, man!"

Finn and Jake stood before the giant portal that Ernie the Conquistador had left the night before. After spending most of that night packing (And having a pancake dinner), the two were ready to dive in after that blue freak.

As the two stretched up before jumping in (They had no idea if Omni-dimensional travel would give them cramps), Finn noticed something. Though a crowd of Candy People had gathered to watch them leave, Princess Bubblegum was nowhere to be seen.

Apparently, Jake explained, she was deep in the libraries of the Candy Castle, doing research on Ernie the Conquistador. "She's trying to find a way for us to mess that guy up," he said confidently.

Finn smiled, glad that the princess hadn't been kidnapped by cyborgs, or some junk. Still, he would have liked to see her before they jumped into the portal.

"I guess we'd better get going," he said, knowing that they couldn't wait up for her. Jake threw his hands up into the air enthusiastically before getting down on all fours and stretching out until he was roughly twice his size.

Finn climbed onto his best friend's back and waved good-bye to the Candy People. As the delicious citizens cheered for their heroes, Jake backed away from the portal so he could get a running start at it. Once he was about two yards from it, he turned to face the azure gate.

"Should we shout something awesome before we go in there?" Finn whispered to his buddy. Jake mulled the idea over.

"Nah," he said, "let's just scream like idiots."

And scream they did. They screamed like crazy little boys as Jake charged the portal, the wind rushing by them and the scenery turning into blobs behind them. Jake waited until the last possible second before jumping, and the two adventurers flew into the portal.

It was a lot like jumping into a lake or a pool, only nothing at all like that. For one thing, lakes and pools aren't suspended sideways in mid-air. Also, they aren't made of pure, horrible, burning energy that, for a few seconds, turns you inside-out as you pass through it.

After that initial horribleness, there was a whole new horribleness awaiting them. Finn and Jake found themselves flying, with absolutely no sense of direction, down a long tunnel of blinding light. Every color imaginable, accompanied by every color unimaginable, surrounded them, and the two were traveling at such a speed that Time just sort of gave up trying to keep up with them.

"JAKE!" Finn yelled after a few minutes.

"YEAH, MAN?" Jake yelled back, his body stretched into some sort of horrible dog-portal by the tunnel.

"Y'KNOW, AFTER THE FIRST FEW MINUTES, IT ISN'T SO BAD!"

"NAH, MAN, I THINK IT'S STILL PRETTY TERRIBLE."

"WHATEVER! I'M JUST TRYING TO BE POSITIVE! AT LEAST IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE!"

And then, at the exact moment when Lady Irony heard what Finn had said, the two heroes hit something.

Meanwhile, in a part of Ooo that was quite far away from the Candy Kingdom, a small island drew the attention of a certain Omni-Dimensional Conquistador. Blue sparks that filled the air more than eight centuries ago returned to that place, and a blue portal opened up in the sky above the castle.

The Firebird descended, cart in tow, and came to a gentle stop in front of the old stone fortress. Ernie exited the car, being careful to set the alarm, and walked up to the great moss-covered doors. From the looks of things, the castle had been undisturbed for some time. That was good; Ernie hated squatters, and after 800 years he didn't want people using his stuff.

With a single shove, Ernie forced the door open and stepped into the castle. Aside from a few bugs, it looked like the Sealing Spell he had cast had held; nobody had been able to loot his castle. His carpet, while dusty, was still there, as were all his pictures from his vacation to the Shrimp Dimension.

Ernie the Conquistador exited the entrance hall and entered his main throne room. Everything was still there: his throne, his tapestries, his suits of armor, and his pile of horns. Drunk on nostalgia, the returning Conquistador sat down on his throne which, while a bit lumpy, was still just as he remembered it.

"First order of business…" he thought to himself, "is to find my other gauntlet. Without it, I've got too much power and not enough control. Then I can start doing some real conquerin'!"

Ernie thought he heard something, but chose to ignore it. Instead, he held open his gauntleted hand. A holographic screen and keyboard sprung from the palm, and Ernie immediately began typing.

"Let's see… 'Search… for… "Gauntlets of unlimited power".'

The amount of results was staggering. Ernie tried to narrow his search by using more keywords, or by using words like 'and' and 'the', but he couldn't find what he was looking for. Enraged at not being able to find something on the internet, Ernie fired a bolt of energy at one of his statues, blasting it into pieces.

Then, to make himself feel better, he watched funny internet videos for, like, an hour.

"It was your idea, dude; you go first."

Mordecai and Rigby stood in front of the portal, unsure of what to do. A few minutes ago, Rigby had suggested that they dive in and chase after the Conquistador. Now, of course, he was practically shoving Mordecai in ahead of him. Skips still lay in the background, unconscious.

"You first, man," Rigby said bravely, "I'm not going in there unless I know what that thing can do to me. I could get turned inside-out or something."

Mordecai hesitantly approached the portal and, eyes shut, dipped a finger in. He felt a sucking sensation, like a vacuum hose, and immediately yanked his finger out.

"Maybe we should just fess up to Benson," Mordecai suggested, rubbing his aching finger. "I mean, this isn't the first cart we've lost."

"Oh, what, you're changing your mind now?" Rigby asked. "You were practically blowing a fuse five minutes ago when that blue guy stole the cart, and now you're chickening out?"

"Shut up, man; it's not like that," Mordecai said angrily. "I just don't see how this is our business."

"He stole our car!"

"Which sucked," Mordecai pointed out. "Look, let's just wait until Skips wakes up, okay? We can ask him what to do."

"Screw that mess, I want our car back!" Rigby exclaimed. Mordecai reached out a hand to try and smack some sense into him, but Rigby slapped it away.

"You can talk to Benson if you want; I'm getting our car back."

Before Mordecai could stop him, Rigby was sprinting on all fours towards the portal. Mordecai tried chasing after him, but it was too late; his best friend disappeared in the swirling, azure energy. Mordecai groaned and rubbed his temples, knowing there was only one thing he could do.

Even though he wasn't as fast as Rigby, he tried to get a running start at the portal. He backed up a significant distance and got down into a running position. Psyching himself up mentally, he ran forwards as fast as his two legs could carry him, hoping he could catch up. He didn't see Skips wake up; and he certainly didn't hear the Rigby yell at him to stop.

He only heard a sucking noise as he passed over the threshold and entered the portal.

This was, without a doubt, the worst thing ever; or, at least, the worst thing yet. It was worse than time travel, monsters, and antimatter all rolled into one. Mordecai was pretty certain his eyes weren't in his head anymore, but somewhere where eyes definitely aren't supposed to be on a body.

There was so much noise and light that it felt like his body was being torn apart every other second; which, in fairness, it probably was. He could just barely recognize his best friend's shape up ahead, and the two were soon side-by-side, screaming as they flew down the trans-dimensional tunnel.

"DUDE," Mordecai screamed, "THIS HAD BETTER BE WORTH IT!"

"IT WILL! TRUST ME!" Rigby reassured over the constant noise. "WE'LL GET THE STUFF BACK!"

"WE'D BETTER GET MORE THAN THAT, MAN!"

"YEAH… HEY, WAIT! I THINK I SEE THE END OF THE TUNNEL!"

What Rigby had seen, of course, was not the end of the tunnel. It was something travelling towards him; something very solid, very fast, and very painful to run in to.

Finn and Jake fell to the ground. It wasn't very cool. The grass cushioned their fall a little, but their butts still hurt from the landing.

Finn looked around the forest they had landed in as he stood up, rubbing his posterior. "What the…?" He muttered, something dawning on him. He turned to Jake, who was trying to wiggle his pain away.

"Dude! We're still in Ooo!"

"What ya say?" Jake asked, not as concerned as Finn was. He calmly sniffed the air and, when he picked up that patented Ooo scent, he raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Well, that's just weird," he said. The two heroes both looked up at the sky they had fallen out of. A large portal loomed overhead, hanging like a cloud.

"Maybe Ernie booby-trapped hyperspace!" Finn exclaimed. Jake shook his head.

"I don't know if a guy can do that," he said. "I think we just ran into something."

"Like what?" Finn asked. Jake rubbed his doggy chin, pondering the possibilities.

"Maybe a space-worm… or some sort of elder-itch abomination!" He concluded. Finn's eyes widened at the idea of fighting those things. His fantasies would have to wait, however, as a rustling noise from the trees overhead startled him. The human boy looked upwards and saw something moving in the foliage.

At first, Finn thought it was Jake. Then he remembered that Jake was right next to him. Then he thought it was him, but he knew that was even more ridiculous, so he discarded that theory after a few seconds. That only left one possibility: whatever they had bumped into had followed them.

The eldritch abomination, that old beast that lurked in-between dimensions, was not content with simply forcing the two heroes out of its domain. It wanted a fight. It had pursued them into Ooo and was waiting to strike, with oozing tentacles and gaping maws and the undying horrors of civilization's past nightmares.

Or maybe it was a bird or something.

Either way, Finn wasn't going to stand aside while that son of a toot rustled. Screaming like a frenzied baboon, Finn charged at the tree and tackled it with all his might, much to Jake's confusion. The tree shook when Finn made impact with it, and continued to sway as Finn rocked it back and forth in a bear hug.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Jake asked. He was understandably a bit confused at Finn's tree-issues.

All that the human boy was able to shout out was "Leaf-people!" before something snapped.

A branch, that is.

A branch snapped.

In the tree.

One of the branches in the tree snapped, and Finn soon found himself on the bottom of a surprise dog-pile.

Uncomfortable was just one of the many words that could be used to describe Mordecai and Rigby's current situation. A few of the others were 'confused', 'dizzy', 'aching', and 'on top of some kid'.

Unlike Finn and Jake, who the portal had dropped onto the ground without any sort of mishap, Mordo and Rigs had landed in a tree and gotten caught in its branches. As if this weren't bad enough, after a few seconds they were suddenly sent plummeting to the ground and landed in a very squishy dog-pile.

It was so squishy.

Mordecai groaned as he stood up, getting off of Rigby and the weird lawn gnome they'd landed on, and surveyed his surroundings. From the looks of things, they were in some sort of forest; possibly the forest next to the park, but it didn't seem dark and ominous enough for that.

As Mordecai continued looking around, Rigby stood up and noticed someone staring at them. "Uh, hey," he said, doing his best not to frighten them. "Have you seen a blue, floating weirdo in tight pants?"

The person, or 'dog', as some people would call him, pointed at Rigby's feet. "You're standing on my friend."

Rigby looked down at his feet and saw that what he had at first assumed was just a very soft, boy-shaped rock was actually a very soft, boy-shaped boy. Rigby slowly stepped off of the young man, who continued to lie motionless with his face down in the grass.

Mordecai turned his attention to the hat-wearing youth and cringed when he saw the damage they had caused. "Is he going to be okay?" He asked the dog.

"I dunno," Jake shrugged. "Hey, Finn, are you dead?"

A muffled whisper escaped Finn's grass-filled mouth.

"Okay, he's probably not dead," Jake said confidently, "Unless his corpse has been possessed."

As if to assure his friend that he was most-definitely not possessed by a demon from the beyond, the hero boy named Finn sprung up from his face-down position and stood on his feet, screaming excitedly.

"I'M NOT POSSESSED THIS TIME!" He exclaimed, pumping his fists in the air. Mordecai and Rigby could only stare.

Finn dusted some of the grass off of himself before turning to face the whatevers who had landed on him. "Hey," Finn asked, "what were all y'all doing in that tree?"

"We fell in it, genius." Rigby pointed out, thinking that the giant portal hanging overhead should have made that obvious. Finn didn't pick up on the hostility, though; in fact, he didn't really pick up on anything. He just sort of looked up at the sky and wondered why a raccoon and blue jay had fallen from the sky when there wasn't a cloud in sight.

Jake, however, did notice something. His famous nose sniffed the air and immediately picked up on something strange about Mordecai and Rigby. He whispered his suspicions into Finn's… ears, I guess.

"Dude," he said, "these guys smell weird."

"So? So does Hot Dog Princess," Finn pointed out.

"Well, yeah," Jake conceded, "but not like this. It's, like, you know that one time I switched your hot chocolate with chocolate coffee and you could tell the difference right away?"

"Yeah, man, I could totes tell the difference!"

"It's like that, man! They're chocolate coffee!"

The analogy made perfect sense. Finn looked Mordecai and Rigby in the eyes, and then asked the obvious question.

"Are you guys, like, made of chocolate or something?"

Mordecai looked back at Finn silently. Rigby glanced around in confusion, wondering if he'd missed something. Jake shook his head, ashamed at Finn for misreading his analogy. Or metaphor. Or whatever.

"Okay, kid, I think we're gonna leave now," Mordecai said quickly, turning around and walking away with Rigby in tow. Finn most-likely would have stopped them, but he was too busy listening to Jake explain that they weren't literally chocolate coffee.

Probably.

"What was with that kid?" Rigby asked as the two made their way further into the forest. They were now out of sight from Finn and Jake, the dense foliage blocking the view behind them.

"I dunno, man. Did you see the weird hat thing he had on? What was up with that?" Mordecai asked, swatting a tree branch out of the way.

"I thought it was kind of cool."

Mordecai rolled his eyes before coming to a quick stop. Looking back, it was impossible to tell where they had been or where they had come from. Mordecai sighed wearily.

"Great. We're lost," Mordecai said, stating the obvious more for Rigby's sake than his own. Rigby looked around, just realizing this himself.

"Oh, crap, we are," Rigby agreed. "Hey, what's going on? I thought these were the park's woods."

"No," Mordecai shook his head, "that forest has, like, signs and a road and picnic tables and stuff. I don't know where we are."

Rigby rubbed his chin and began thinking, an action that was very dangerous to him and anyone nearby. "Maybe that portal spat us out in a mirror universe. You know, like on those old sci-fi shows. So everyone we meet here's going to be evil!"

Mordecai pondered this. "Nah," he said. "I don't see anything that screams 'evil mirror universe'. Besides, this place doesn't seem all that dangerous."

"BLAAGGGH, I'M DANGEROUS," Screamed the Knife-Eyed Tree Shark that ironically burst out of the bushes right next to Mordecai and Rigby. The two groundskeepers were knocked to the ground by the fearsome beast's blood-curdling howl and they found themselves helpless against the creature's razor-sharp teeth-fingers.

The Tree Shark glared at them with the knives that poked out of its squishy eyeholes. "Even though I'm not going to enjoy it," the beast growled, "I'm going to eat you anyway! That's what I do, losers!"

Mordecai's eyes darted around frantically, looking for a way to save his and Rigby's lives. Out of desperation, he grabbed a large branch lying next to him and jammed it into the Tree Shark's blowhole.

The fierce predator staggered back, unable to breathe. It growled and clawed at the obstruction, but its mouth-flippers weren't agile enough to remove the branch. Then, just as Mordecai began wondering why a shark had a blowhole, he heard a familiar scream.

Finn jumped down from a branch above the Knife-Eyed Tree Shark and landed on its head. As he began wailing on it with his fists, Jake emerged from the brush, now grown to the size of the creature. He joined Finn in his assault while Mordecai and Rigby watched on.

"Okay, man, I'm lost," Rigby sighed. Mordecai could only nod in agreement.

The Knife-Eyed Tree Shark tried to pull Finn off, but the young hero boy dodged its clumsy grab. Seeing an opportunity, he yanked the branch out of the beast's blowhole and began to use it as a club, striking the land-fish wildly about its body. After a few seconds of beatings, the shark tossed Finn off and screamed in pain.

"Okay, I give!" It exclaimed, rubbing its aching blowhole. "You don't have to be so freaking rough, dude!"

"Yes I do!" Finn exclaimed. "Knives don't belong in your eyeholes; only eyes should go there! Now go back to your cave and think about what you've done!"

The Tree Shark sighed and slinked off into the woods, its heart heavy with disappointment. An awkward silence fell on the four dimension-hoppers. After what felt like forever, Jake was the one who broke the silence.

"So…" he began slowly, unsure of what to ask, "Are you guys from another dimension?"

Mordecai and Rigby looked at each other. They looked back at Jake. "Probably," Mordecai said, and Rigby shrugged.

"That's cool," Finn said. Another silence befell the group. All the sounds of the forest were audible at once. Birds were singing, frogs were croaking, bugs were dancing—a symphony of awkwardness. Jake was the one who broke the silence, as he remembered something that had been brought up earlier.

"Hey, uh," he began, still in the 'awkward' phase of talking to these guys, "did you say you were looking for a blue dude wearing some tight pants?"

"Yeah," Rigby said, "have you seen him?"

"We're totes looking for him!" Finn exclaimed, his enthusiasm coming back. "Why're you guys looking for that tote?"

"He stole our cart," Mordecai said bluntly. Instead of sympathy or any logical emotional response, Mordecai watched in confusion as Finn did a little dance of joy.

"Supah-fly!" He exclaimed, jumping in the air while pumping his fists. "That means we should team up and hunt that jerk-wagon down!"

Mordecai stared at the young man for a moment. It was pretty difficult to take him seriously. However, he felt a tugging at his sleeve and turned to Rigby, who whispered up into Mordecai's ear.

"Dude," he said quietly, "I say we do it."

Mordecai shook his head. "I dunno, man," he said, "this kid's, like, what? Ten? Eleven?"

"You saw what he did to that dolphin thing!" Rigby pointed out, confident in his plan. "Besides, that dog-dude will come with him, and he's all stretchy and stuff."

Mordecai glanced over at Finn and Jake, who were standing by, watching the two whisper to themselves. Seeing that he wasn't still convinced, Rigby aimed for the biggest target on his friend's back: laziness.

"Look, we'll just let them do all the work, and then we'll get the cart back," he said. "It'll be easy! These guys would probably want it that way!"

Mordecai thought it over some more. It was tempting to take the easy way out and work with these two who, apparently, had some clue what they were doing. Plus, they did seem more than capable of fending for themselves. His mind made up, he faced Finn and Jake.

"Okay," he said, "we'll go with you."

"Slamacow!" Finn exclaimed. Mordecai wasn't sure if he was excited or if he had just had some sort of stroke.

"Okay," he continued, "We should probably head back to the Candy Kingdom. We can go back through the portal that Ernie used the first time."

As Finn and Jake took the lead and began to follow the path out of the forest (Followed by Mordecai and Rigby, who were busy snickering at the words 'Candy Kingdom') a pair of mechanical eyes watched them from deep within the brush. No one noticed as a figure, sparking with azure energy, followed them stealthily through the woods.

Or maybe they did. Who knows?

Wow, this took a while to finish. At least it got finished, though, am I right? AM I RIGHT? HUH? HUH? STOP MAKING ME CRY!

Anyway, I encourage everyone to check out this fan fic's TV Trope's page. Which is on TV Tropes.

Next Time: Party Bears