His Misery

Arthur always knew Matthew liked maple syrup far too much for his own good. He worried that his son's obsession would cause health problems such as tooth decay or weight gain. England sometimes feared he would walk into a room and find his pancake greedy son in a diabetic coma. But it never once crossed his mind that one day he would catch Canada masturbating with a maple syrup bottle. Perhaps he should have given the possibility some though in previous years because as he sat there in his living room drinking away his worries he had no clue what to do to help Matthew with his little habit. It had taken him a week of arguing with his imaginary unicorn, pirate and fairy friends for him to even grow the balls to tell France about his little discovery. Many drinks and obnoxious arguments later France and England had finally decided that it was best to remove the problem. By that I mean the maple syrup was taken out of the cabinet and not replaced the next time England went shopping. Canada was searched every time he entered the house to make sure he didn't have any syrup on him and any bottles he had stashed in his room had been burned.

This was far worse than the sugar free syrup. This time around he couldn't get any syrup at all! Although that wasn't the least of it, America had found out about Canada's little maple syrup fetish and had taken it upon himself to tell all his friends, who in turn told the whole fuckin' school. Matthew missed the old invisibility cloak he used to be able to wear during school. Now he not only had to endure a lack of maple syrup but also the pointed fingers and stares of his peers. It was as though he was dying from dehydration while traveling through the desert and when he finally got to a location where his cellphone received service, people just made fun of him when he asked for their help. At some point you just have to stop calling for help and give up.

England sat in the kitchen looking at the clock on the oven that read 8:00 pm. Canada had not come home from school and Arthur was beginning to worry. But as the Englishmen thought of all the places his son could have gone Canada stood only a few yards away. Matthew had gone to the supermarket after school and purchased as much maple syrup he could afford. Since then he had been in the garage playing with his sticky bottles of delight. It was all fun and games at first. He had drank half a bottle of maple syrup and then proceeded to cover his naked body with it. While still covered in the substance he grabbed the second bottle of maple syrup. The Canadian mindlessly flipped open and closed the lid of the new bottle as he thought about what exactly he wanted to do with it. Just as he was about to flip the lid closed again he swore he heard a strange noise coming from his beloved syrup. It almost sounded like the bottle was purring at him. Matthew stared in fear at the syrup and held it close to his ear. And sure enough he heard another purr this one longer and deeper than the last.

"I love you so much it hurts, Matthew," whispered the maple syrup. Canada threw the bottle across the garage screaming. As soon as the Canadian was calm enough to stop screaming he began to hear faint weeping. The noise was gradually getting louder and louder until the faint weeping became echoing sobs. It seemed to be coming from every direction the walls around him were pulsing with the noise although the syrup that clung to his bare skin was by far the loudest. The sticky substance seemed to move with each sob and Canada couldn't help but fall into that depressing rhythm and cry himself. Just as the Canadian's tears began to run down his face the bottle he had thrown across the room stood up but kept its back to Canada.

"It has been so long Matthew, since we have been together. Why have you abandoned me? Why do you abuse me and throw me like some common whore! Why? Why do you do this to me? I have sacrificed so much for you! And this is how you repay me! Don't you love me? Why don't you love me! Why! Why!" the maple syrup wept.

"I-I-I d-d-d-do love you! My p-p-p-parents they won't let me see you anymore! I'm sorry!

I still love you!" stuttered Canada.

"If your parent are keeping us apart then why are we able to be together now! You're a LIAR Matthew! A greedy LIAR!"

"No, no, no, no, no, I'm not lying! I had to sneak you in! T-T-T-That's why we're in the garage!"

"If you could sneak me in why has it taken you so long? Your embarrassed of me aren't you? Aren't You!"

"N-No, it's not that! It's my parents! It's….,"Canada hesitated as he thought of all the times he had been made fun of because of his love for maple syrup.

"If it's really because of your parents, end the problem!" shrieked the maple syrup.

"W-W-W-W-What d-d-d-do you m-m-mean!"

"KILL THEM MATTHEW!"

"W-W-W-What! No!"

"You won't kill them because it's not really their fault! It's because you are ashamed of me! Ashamed of our love!"

"N-N-No! I won't kill them because they're my parents! A-A-A-And killing people is wrong!What has gotten into you!"

"Aww , cute little Matthew, just standing there so helpless and stuttering. You must be so miserable. You want me so much but you won't get rid of what stands in your way! I should take you out of your misery!"Before Canada had any time to think his bottles of maple syrup began to surround him. The syrup covering his body began to suffocate him and he began to scream.

"Oh, don't fight it my sweet, sweet Matthew. It's so we can finally be together. You won't have to be ashamed anymore and you parents won't be able to get the way. We will love each other in death. Isn't it romantic?" Canada's now sour syrup coding took control of his limps and forced him to walk to where all the tools were in the garage.

"You're crazy!"

"I'm crazy? !I'm crazy!You're the one talking to a maple syrup bottle, my dear Matthew!" He was then forced to pick up the sharpest knife on the work desk. Tears began to flow again as the blade started towards his wrist. Canada tried to fight it but he then began to think of everyone he would be leaving behind and could see nothing but their looks of disgust. They were all ashamed of him, he was ashamed of himself.

"WHY AM I SUCH A FREAK?" Canada bellowed. He stopped fighting the blade and just let the blood flow from his wrist. France walked into the garage fifteen minutes later because he had forgotten something in his car and found his son lying on the ground with big gashes in his wrist covered in maple syrup. ..