Chapter 1

A week later.

I tug impatiently at my blouse, the ruffles are really starting to get on my nerves, and the stupid thing just won't hang straight. Aster bounces along beside me, her face glowing with excitement at going into town, a place that she hasn't had much call to visit recently. Of course, she's only six, so she has no reason to worry about today, yet. Or even much understanding of what's going to happen. She knows that the reaping is something bad but, beyond that, she doesn't have a clue, and I'd prefer it if it could stay that way forever.

Ma is at home today, so you know it must be bad - they only let the most seriously ill people remain in bed on reaping day

Will glances nervously at me as the town square begins to come into view. I can hear the buzz of anticipation emanating from the crowd who swarm around the platform. Ugh, it's so much easier the other 364 days of the year, when I can pretend to ignore the power that the Capitol holds over us. But today, it's painfully obvious just how insignificant we are. And I really hate being overlooked.

Dad clasps a hand on my shoulder, giving me a reassuring squeeze. "Can you make sure Will gets to the right section?" he says tightly, the strain of the past six months is so unnervingly clear in his expression. I had always been used to my dad being a strong, confident person, but I guess Ma's illness has taken a toll on all of us.

Take me, for example, I'm fairly certain that I wasn't always such a moody bitch, but that's what looking after three kids will do to a girl. This is a pretty decent reminder of why I should never ever have children of my own.

I nod tightly in response to his words and he wishes us both good luck before wrapping his arms around the shoulders of Ash and Aster and leading them away into the crowd.

"Come on then," I say, trying to adopt a light-hearted tone, but from the look Will shoots me as we set off towards his section I can tell that he's not buying it. Not that I'm surprised, light and hearted are two words that I would never dream of using to describe myself.

I take the lead, winding my way through the throng of people, elbowing them out of my way if they try and get too close. That's another reason why I hate the reaping days – no one has any sense of personal space.

"Jo, I don't need you to babysit me," Will mutters from behind me and I just roll my eyes in response. What does he think my job has been for the past six months? But it's more than that – I don't want to leave him alone during the reaping. If I had the choice, I would stand next to him while they read out the names. I reach backwards now, searching for his hand, and I feel him clasp his tightly around mine.

I try to tell myself that it's more to offer him comfort than it is to help me, but I don't believe myself. As we step into his section I keep dragging him forward, ignoring his resistance. "Johanna," he grumbles, "I'd be happier just standing at the edge. I don't-" his words are suddenly cut off, and I whirl around just as another boy barges straight into him.

Perhaps it wouldn't bother me so much – I mean, this is the reaping, it's crowded and all courtesy goes out of the window when you're scared for your life, but then I catch the smirk on his face. My jaw automatically clenches, and I tear my hand out of Will's. He starts shaking his head, "Leave it, Johanna, please."

I ignore him and dart after the boy, grabbing his shoulder tightly. He spins round, glaring at me in annoyance. "What're you doing?" he demands.

Wrong question. My anger surges and my grip on him tightens. "What were you doing?" I snap. The only person allowed to beat my little brother up is me. No one else has the right to lay a finger on him.

He throws a scathing look over my shoulder which I quickly realise is directed at Will. "Need your sister to fight your battles for-?" His words are cut off as I shake him fiercely.

"Don't touch him," I say, lowering my voice and my head so I can look directly into his eyes. I inch my face closer to his, "ever again. Do you understand?"

"Johanna," Will tugs at my arm as my anger surges. Who does this kid think he is?

I shake him again, "I said, do you understand?"

He nods quickly, still struggling to get out of my grasp. I take a deep, calming breath and force myself to let him go. He pushes his way deeper into the crowd, leaving me glaring after him with my heart racing in my chest.

"Thanks a lot Johanna," Will says dully, "I'm going to get it in the neck for that at school tomorrow"

"So? I'll help you out again," I tell him firmly.

He just sighs in response, "I don't always need you to come my rescue," he mutters, before disappearing into the crowd. I watch as his tousled hair vanishes between two other boys and then I heave a sigh of my own. My head always tells me to stay out of it, but my heart says that he's my little brother, and I don't want to see him get hurt. I turn on my heel and wander over to my section.

I find myself in the midst of the seventeen year old section, standing shoulder to shoulder with our next door neighbour, a kind hearted girl called Rosa. I can't say I've ever had much to do with her, but at the reaping everything is different – everyone feels the same fear, and that unites us in a way that nothing else does. Of course, the moment that this is over we'll go back to being simply vague acquaintances but, just for today, it helps to know that she feels the same way I do. She casts me a reassuring smile, and I make myself do likewise. I promised Ma that I wouldn't get angry today – and I've already broken that promise once, so now I have to keep myself under control.

Then a hush falls suddenly across the crowd as our green haired escort, Phineas Albone, gets to his feet and crosses to stand beside the reaping balls. I can't help but curl my lip at his stupidly excited expression and the way in which he almost skips as he walks. He's been our escort for as long as I can remember, and he's also aggravated the hell out of me for as long as I can remember.

"I hope you're all as excited as I am," he exclaims. Yeah, think again.

He spreads his arms wide, gesturing to the Mayor to begin reading the treaty. I roll my eyes as he begins droning away in his monotone voice, just as he does every year. And just as every year, I pay absolutely no attention whatsoever to the words which spill from his mouth.

Finally, he finishes telling us how bad all of our ancestors are, and how we deserve everything we get, and Phineas clasps his hands together in excitement. "Now, it's what we've all been waiting for. Time to select our tributes!"

Gosh, yes – this is just what I've been waiting for. Doesn't he realise how horrifyingly affected his accent is? It makes me want to clamp my hands against my ears to block him out. But his hand is already descending into the glass ball to select the name of our female tribute, and I don't think now is exactly the best time to be blocking out his words. Because, what if-

"Johanna Mason," he yells out from the stage, a wide grin spread over his face, and I do a double take.

What?

My mind goes absolutely blank – what the hell just happened? You can't be serious right? If that guy just read my name off that piece of paper then I am going to seriously pissed.

Yeah, well judging from the anxious look that Rose is shooting in my direction, he actually did say it. Great – so it wasn't just my imagination running wild. Well, isn't that fantastic? But my brain still isn't working properly. It's as though everything around me has gone completely silent. Huh, I hope I haven't turned deaf and been reaped on the same day – because that would be a great combination.

"Johanna," someone suddenly hisses my name, breaking the spell of silence that had seemingly settled across the crowd. I shake my head, trying desperately to wake myself back up.

I take a trembling step forward, begging my knees not to give way beneath me, but I can already feel stupid tears beginning to prick at the back of my eyelids. I want to brush them away – I never cry. I haven't for years. But honestly, what's the point in trying to hide it? I don't stand a chance in hell of making it out of this thing. Might as well bawl like a fucking baby – it's not as though it will make a blind bit of difference.

So with tears streaming down my cheeks, I mount the stairs and climb up onto the stage. It's only when I'm standing there that I realise just how many people there are in District 7 and right now they're all focused on my tears. What the hell were the odds that it would be my name he picked? I think of my family standing somewhere out there amongst the crowd, and then I think of Ma. Lying in her bed at home, completely unaware of what has just happened. Will I get to say goodbye to her?

"Now for our male tribute," Phineas says brightly beside me, after I just stand there, staring absently into the crowd rather than shaking the hand he offers me. He dips his hand into the other ball. "Silas Haywood," he announces, waving the slip around.

The name sounds vaguely familiar, but at this point I don't particularly care. Of course, if he's some pathetic weakling then it's all the better for me, but that would just be one tribute. What about the careers? I shove my hands into the pockets of my dress to try and stop them from shaking. I don't think it works because our only, and ancient, female victor, Dara Kindell, glances over at me with a sympathetic smile.

I try to ignore her, and watch as Silas pushes his way out of the crowd and clambers up onto the stage. He's tall – much taller than I am, with dark hair and a swagger to his walk which makes me suspect that I'm not going to get on with him very well. I think maybe I've seen him around in school before, because he does look slightly familiar, but then again most people in District 7 look the same so it doesn't really mean anything.

"District 7, I give you your tributes," Phineas announces, taking both of our hands and bowing down theatrically. Neither me nor Silas follow his example. Me, because I'm thinking of how I've done this at the end of plays countless times before, but it is a very different feeling. Then I blanch when I realise that now Nysa will get to play my role. Well, the play will be ruined, but at least I won't be around to see it.

The moment that the half-hearted applause comes to an end, a Peacekeeper appears beside my should and promptly starts to drag me off towards the Justice Building. Most of me wants to start screaming at him, and lashing out as though he is to blame for this, but the rational, far smaller, part of my brain suppresses this urge. I still can't stop myself stiffening slightly at the feel of his hand on my arm. But I force myself to go with him unresistingly, and I hang my head so that I don't have to look at him.

We enter the Justice Building – I've never seen the inside of it before, and I think perhaps the plush velvet sofas and marble ceilings ought to make some sort of impact upon me – a forest dweller – but I can't really bring myself to care. I just let myself be led into a tiny box of a room and wince slightly as the Peacekeeper slams the door shut in my face.

I sigh, and cross to the sofa in the corner of the room. I perch on the edge, and pick at the stuffing that's protruding from one of the holes. I can't believe how spectacularly my life has just fallen to pieces, and all in the space of about ten minutes as well.

Just as I've started to slump lower into the sofa, I hear the door creak open and my head jerks upright again. Ash flies across the room, and launches himself onto me. I wince at the impact against my ribs, but then decide that I should probably get used to being in pain. After all – that's all I have to look forward to for the rest of my life.

"Why do you have to go to the Capitol, Jo?" Ash asks suddenly from his place on my lap, raising his eyes to meet my own.

"Because I won," I say dully. How do you explain to a seven year old what the premise of the Hunger Games is? Sure, he's seen parts of it on television before – he has no choice – but I don't think he even really understands that it's real.

Aster crosses the room, and sits beside me on the sofa, resting her head against my shoulder. I feel slightly uncomfortable for a moment, but then I start to relax.

I glance over at Will, "no heartfelt goodbyes from you?" I snap, "or are you still angry about earlier?" I narrow my eyes at him, but he simply smiles at me.

"Were you crying, Johanna?" he demands, raising an eyebrow at me. "You never cry."

Huh, what do I say to that? It's not as though I can deny it – my eyes are probably all red and puffy by now.

Yeah, I decided that I'm not going to make it back home, so I might as well just cry myself into the grave.

Maybe not.

Inspiration suddenly strikes. "I have a plan," I announce mysteriously, "I don't expect you to understand."

"Your plan is to cry?" he says incredulously, "I don't think that's going to work when some huge Career is coming towards you with a-"

I glance pointedly at Ash and Aster, both of whom still have their arms wrapped tightly around me. I'm not normally one to censor my speech around them – I mean, they have to grow up at some point right? But right now it seems like the perfect excuse to get Will to shut up, seeing as I actually have no idea what my grand plan could possibly be.

"Where's dad?" I say suddenly, glancing at the door as though I expect him to suddenly come bursting through it.

"He went home, to get Ma," Will says, looking at his feet.

"She's too sick," I snap impatiently, "just go after him, and tell him not to bother." I don't want her to get worse because of me. Not that it's really possible for her to get all that much worse, but still.

"I think she'll want to say goodbye," he says in a tone so sarcastic that I'm almost proud of him. Then suddenly he crosses the room, and pulls Aster upright. I glance up at him in surprise for a moment, before he plops down onto the sofa next to me and wraps his own arms around me to replace Aster's.

"I don't want you to go, Jo," he murmurs, squeezing me so tightly that it's pretty damn uncomfortable. He must realise how awkward all this soppy talk is making me, but it doesn't stop him from gushing about how much he needs me to back it back home for him. It's not until he finally says those dreaded three little words that I feel obliged to take action to make him stop talking.

I free my arms from around Will and whack him on the back of the head. He looks up at me with raised eyebrows, "what was that for?"

What am I supposed to reply to that? Please don't tell me you'll miss me because I'll probably end up crying again. I just shrug, refusing to look him in the eyes. Why does this have to be so hard? Part of me almost wishes that they didn't let us say goodbye, because how can I go into the arena knowing that I'm leaving them all behind?

I guess it gives me a reason to fight, because as I look at the three of them huddled around me now, I know that I can't leave them to fend for themselves. I just chew on my lip for a moment, wondering how much longer Ma is going to last, and whether Dad will be able to cope with them without her.

Don't get me wrong, I know that I can barely cope, but at least I'm around to make an effort. Dad's at work so often that I can't even remember the last time that I had an actual conversation with him.

"When are you going to come back?" Aster suddenly asks, glancing over at me with wide set, anxious eyes.

What in Panem's name do I say to that? Luckily I'm spared the horror of having to piece together an answer to this when the door slides open and Dad pokes his head through the crack. "Are you kids finished now? Your Ma and I want to say goodbye to Johanna too."

Aster immediately gets to her feet and darts over to the door, not even casting a backwards glance at me before she disappears out of my sight. I feel a strange pang deep within my stomach as I realise that the sigh of her blonde plaits vanishing behind the door might be the last memory I ever have of her.

"See you soon, Jo?" Ash says, tearing himself away from me and staring at me intently with his dark eyes.

I nod, "you look after yourself Ash. And no more pinching Aster, you promise?"

"Promise," he says and then he too is gone and I'm left to face Will, the only one of my siblings who fully understands what is going to happen to me.

"Johanna?" I look up at him, confused by the suddenly fierce look on his face. My little brother has never looked fierce in his life, believe me, I've tried many a time to infuriate him, but nothing ever works. "You have a good shot. Just get your hands on an axe, and keep out of the way of the stronger tributes. You have to come back home. Ok, Jo?"

I nod my head – what else can I do? Tell him that already, at the bottom of my heart, I know that I'm not going to be coming back home again? No, I'll let him believe that I still have some hope left.

"I will," I snap impatiently, wanting him to leave before the stupid tears start pricking at my eyelids again. I haven't cried for years – I'm not planning on letting it happen more than once today. He throws his arms around me, and I squeeze him tightly back for a moment, before pushing him firmly away.

And then I'm alone.

I press the flats of my palms together tightly as I wait for my parents. Finally they push the door open, and Dad walks in first, one arm around Ma's waist. I can tell that she's leaning on him pretty heavily, but it's not as though she weighs anything, so I guess it's not really that much of a strain for him.

"What are you doing Ma?" I demand, needing to fill the silence with anger rather than with words of love, and regret. "You'll make yourself even worse by leaving your bed. You know what the doctor said."

"I had to say goodbye," she murmurs, watching me with sad eyes.

Great, even my own mother has given up on me, because it's clear she doesn't ever think she's going to see me again.

But then I realise that I've already pretty much decided that myself – come to the conclusion that I have no real chance of winning. And then I consider for a moment what winning could really mean to our family.

You get prize money, a new house, food is provided for the whole district. I don't give a damn about the new house, but money is a different matter. Because if I won then I would be able to buy her that medicine, then I wouldn't have to see her wasting away any more. If I win then I can save her life and I feel my jaw clench in determination.

She sits down heavily on the sofa beside me and I wrap my arms around her. Then I hear her whisper gently against my ear, "you can act, Jo. Make the others believe you're not worth fighting, that you're just a weakling."

I hug her tightly, thinking over her words for a moment, wonder if I could really pull something like that off. Well, I suppose I already started with those stupid tears at the reaping. As much as it may be a bit of a blow to my pride to act pathetic in front of the whole of Panem, Ma's plan is good, and I have to do something to ensure I have a chance of winning. That I can bring the prize money home, and save her.

I do not own The Hunger Games, otherwise Johanna probably would have played a much bigger role.

And I just want to say a quick thank you to Daydreaming Viking Girl and Where the Story Ends for reviewing the first chapter. :) I might not be able to update for a while because I'm trying to focus on finishing my other story before I get too absorbed in this one, but I already had this chapter written so... :D