AUTHOR'S NOTE:

And we're back for another exciting session of why Kevin should never live with the Tennyson family. Believe me, if you haven't yet been convinced, you WILL be now. Here we go!

STANDARD DISCLAIMER:

WARNING: I, as an author, am not responsible for any over-the-top insanity endured while reading this chapter. Okay, maybe just a little.

The 10 Reasons Why Kevin Shouldn't Live With Gwen

Reason 3: Cooking Fail

Author's POV:

Kevin yawned as he ambled wearily into the Tennyson family's kitchen, rubbing his eyes. It was seven o'clock in the morning, as in nobody in the house was awake yet. Except for Gwen. But then again, Gwen was an exception to many things.

Flicking on the lights, the dark-haired teen sleepily made his way over to the pale, ivory cabinets and pulled out a pan, dropping it carelessly on the stove top with a noisy clatter.

Kevin had began noticing from some of the rather wild events of the past few days that Mr. and Mrs. Tennyson really didn't like him so much, although Kevin couldn't even begin to comprehend why. After all, he was purely amazing; everybody knew that. But, as much as this was true, the ex-con knew that he very-much-so needed to get them on his good side.

And desperate times call for desperate measures: he was going to cook breakfast for the family.

After picking up the idea from one of the latest issues of "How To Make Your Girlfriend's Parents Like You" Magazine, Kevin knew that making breakfast for everyone was the way to go. And, according to the magazine, the idea was nearly a hundred percent fail-safe!

Thing was, they'd never met anyone like Kevin before.

The obsidian-eyed boy snorted. cooking. How hard could it really be? No, he'd never actually tried it- his mom had always cooked for him, but if over-paid celebrities on Food Network TV shows could do it, then dang it, he could too!

If only Kevin knew what he was getting himself into.

With a deep breath, Kevin turned on the heat, and began to lower the hash browns into the pan. He figured that making hash browns was safe… enough. His hand trembling, the teen worried that the hash browns' reaction to the hot pan would be explosive, and he slowly took a few steps back; bracing himself for them to touch it…

With a yelp, Kevin threw the hash browns onto the pan and sprinted out of the kitchen, just to be safe.

Nothing. Nothing at all had happened- he was safe. Sighing with relief, Kevin strode back over to the pan, watching with wide eyes as the raw potato patties cooked before him. He was doing it! He was actually doing it, and he wasn't messing anything up for a change. With a massive grin, the midnight-haired teen pulled up a chair and sat himself down in it; unaware that he was slowly drifting off to sleep…

A startled Kevin awoke twenty minutes later to the unmistakable smell of smoke.

Crap.

Orange and yellow flames were now dancing around the stove; circling the pan that had once held the wonderful, cooking hash browns that were now mere fragments of inflamed potato.

"NO! No, no, no, NO!" Kevin yelled, frantically running around the kitchen in a big, never-ending circle like a chicken with its head cut off, On the verge of a heart attack, the boy grabbed two oven mitts out of the cabinet, hastily pulled them on and began whacking down on the fire with them, hoping to put it out. Screaming in horror and discarding them into the flames as they caught on fire right before his eyes, Kevin reached for the bottles of Mr. Tennyson's fancy French liquor, with the worst idea yet on his mind.

And what was already horrible became a nightmare.

His face distorted with panic, the ex-ruffian popped open the bottles and began pouring the alcohol into the flames, which, as any normal person knows, only makes the situation ten times worse.

Kevin shrieked as the fire grew a thousand times bigger due to this action; moving on from just the stove to engulfing half of the Tennyson's kitchen.

With else nothing left to do, Kevin began swearing at the hash browns and thanking God for preventing the Tennysons from waking up, because at this point in time, it seemed nearly impossible.

But there was one Tennyson who was awake.

Striding exasperatedly into the kitchen with a fire extinguisher in hand, Gwen calmly approached the fire, sprayed it thoroughly with the fire extinguisher's white foam until the fire was completely put out, turned, wordlessly patted Kevin on the head, and exited the room.

Completely speechless as he stood there, rooted to the floor of the now-ruined kitchen, Kevin stared after his girlfriend, wondering why the heck the thought of using a fire extinguisher hadn't come to his mind.

AUTHOR'S NOTE ENDING:

LOL, Kevin's so stupid. 'Kay, hope you all enjoyed that little "burning kitchen" episode- now you just have to wait 'till next chapter to find out what Mr. and Mrs. Tennysons' reactions are to it! Anyways… review, pretty please! That'd be amazing! 'Kay, laterz!