Teen Titans: Villainy Chapter 2: Knowledge is Power, a teen titans fanfic

"-But Robin, you cannot keep working in this fashion! I understand you are angry that the Mr. Freeze had escaped and left us as cold as the cube or cream of ice, but-"

"It's not about that, Starfire." Robin dismissed as he marched towards the heart of Titan's Tower, 'Ops', "We let him get away with an entire vault of money, and on his first try. I can't let someone like Freeze think he's got it easy, or the city will be in more danger…"

Beast Boy, catching the end of the conversation as Robin and Starfire entered the living room/command center decided to input, "Come on! It's not like Frosty had an easy time. We kicked his butt, broke his toy, and nearly caught him! I think it's safe to say he'll be quaking in his boots every time he hears the name of Beast Boy… or Teen Titans."

"Right, he'll sure be fearing the name of someone who he froze twice in the same fight." Raven muttered off-hand, getting the usual frown from the shape shifter.

Robin turned to the sorcerer at that, "Raven, can you use your powers and try to figure out where he might be?"

"I wish, but something is off with that guy…"

"Apart from his overly correct grammar?" Cyborg decided to snipe at their unseen quarry. In some way, all of them felt irritation at the escape of crime's newest façade.

"During the battle, I tried to pick up some sort of emotional vibe from him, try to figure out how he thinks. I didn't get anything from him. Apart from a bit of shock or surprise, he was pretty much emotionally dead."

"Meaning we can't track him that way…" Robin frowned as he looked over the skyline of the city, "All that money, and all that power. There's no telling what plots he could be scheming at this very minute."

Valentine sashayed and swung her hips, earphones firmly gripped over her head, and protective goggles over her eyes. Moving the nozzle of spraying paint, she grinned as she put the final touches to another arcane symbol to the side of a steel plate.

"Groooovin' magic! Some-a-thing in Jap-a-neeese… Oh, oh, oh, oh…"

Knowledge is Power

As she swirled around to another metal plate that was to be used in the repairs, a voice cut into her song.

"Valentine. I need you here, please."

"Bah! Fine, fine."

Tossing her previous equipment aside, she approached Mr. Freeze, who sat on the ground, typing furiously into a laptop that was wired all the way to the other side of the room with various extensions.

"So, Freeze, enjoying your riveting all night entertainment of reading up everything on Jump City in the past century, or whatever?"

"It is not enjoyment, it is simply informing oneself." The boy in blue shot back monotonously, never turning from the screen once, "I had been forming a mission statement for our group, and I decided to inform you of a particular privilege to entice recruits. Since we are both founding members, you are eligible for the same."

"Huh? Stop droning…" Valentine mumbled as she looked past Mr. Freeze's shoulder to the document, "Hmm… wish?"

"I have decided to implement a wish system. All members of our organization is entitled to one demand, or 'wish', that other members may be obligated to fulfill, if reasonable."

"So basically, I can ask anything I want, and you'd have to do it?"

"Within reason."

"Then I know what I want right NOW! More female members!"

"Personally, and once more, I do not see the reasoning behind the desire to obtain recruits of your gender, Valentine."

Valentine harrumphed and stared down at her partner-in-crime, "C'mon! You ever watch cartoons or comics or something? Every time there's a team of whatever, heroes, or villains, or whatever really, the ratio of guys to girls is always two to one! Discriminatory! Annoying! No more! If you're gonna get more members, I need at least more girls to offset the testosterone! More girls so I can giggle and gossip about the current hotties, and etcetera! More evil girl power!

Freeze pulled out another news article as he considered everything, "Do you have any preference?"

"No! Why do I need any preference! Just get any girl! I mean an evil one! You know!"

"Understood. When there is an opportunity, I will keep your request in mind. Now, for more important matters… we require more equipment."

"Why's'at?"

"If we are to keep track of activities in the city, we require more powerful computer processing equipment. You said so yourself that there is a lot of unused electrical potential in this facility. We should make use of it."

"And where am I supposed to steal this amazing processor stuff?" Valentine snorted, hands on hips.

The laptop was raised towards her, piquing her notice with a particular web page.

"STAR labs?"

"It's a privately owned science and engineering research chain based world-wide. There is one in Jump City. Even if it doesn't focus on computer equipment, its technology is high-end. It is a large facility, though. I would not be able to traverse it all. You can, though, with help from your… factory products."

"Ya gotta be kidding me. My factory hasn't got enough stuff to start production yet! I only have, what… two or three platoons only?"

"It is more than I could ever achieve on my own. I leave this task to you, Valentine."

"B-but what about those hero guys you told me about! They're not going to sit this out!"

"That is why you should listen very carefully to what I am about to say next-"

"I still can't believe he'd make the Mission Statement without me… I don't care if he's emotionally dead or whatever… 'Leave it to the bureaucrats', pah! Mr. Efficient…" Valentine grumbled to herself as she tromped towards the guard's booth that sat in front of the main entrance into STAR labs. Tucked under one armpit was a large leather bound tome; while behind her in the near streets were two large buses, windows tinted black.

But before anything, Valentine was a businesswoman, and as she closed in on the guard in the late night, her face pulled into a cheerful visage.

A gloved hand rapped against the glass window, alerting the attention of the blue-collar security man, who turned up from his comic book. He looked up into the cheerful smile of a girl in a business suit.

"Hallo! I'm an inspector from the Valentine Foundation, my team of specialists and I would like to be permitted inside your premises for an inspection of your materials, this cool with you?"

The security guard tipped his hat indignantly at the younger girl, "Look little lady, visiting hours are between twelve and four, and it's nine at night. Plus, all formal visitors are required to have an appointment. So, you just take your little prankster butt back home-"

"Come on! I have two whole buses behind me full of my team of inspectors, you really don't believe me?"

"Miss, leave before I call the cops."

Valentine drew back with a wistful sigh, placing the back of her hand against her forehead, "For shame! If that's how things are going to be…"

She snapped her fingers.

The next thing the guard knew, the bullet proof glass in front of him suddenly cracked with thunder, spider lines tracing across the pane.

"What the-"

The guard suddenly noticed it. Behind the girl were the two buses. One of the windows on one of them were opened just the slightest, a barrel of a gun poking out.

The rest of the windows slid apart, revealing more guns jutting out. Valentine sneered.

"What's the matter, blue-collar? You look a little pale! My prank too much for you? Either way… Ciao!"

With another snap of her fingers, the entire bus broadsided the security booth with a hail of lead, the security guard screaming and escaping just in time for the box to disintegrate under the fire.

"You can stop now! I said stop! STOP, YOU STUPID GHOULS!"

The gunfire scattered to a halt. Valentine sighed, "I really gotta find a way to fix the AI on these guys…"

Another snap of the fingers.

The two doors of the buses slid open, letting uniformed men march out in order. Balaclavas, and body armor, boots and purple glowing eyes, sub-machine guns, and steel shields. They all came to a stop in front of Valentine and saluted.

Across the shields was the etched insignia of the Valentine Eye, underneath a phrase:

-BooDoo PeoPle MurDer PeoPle-

Valentine laughed as she strode forwards, soldiers behind her, "Well then, let's get this show on the road, huh? STAR labs, you're officially the property of the Valentine Foundation."

The T-Car leapt over the street and skidded into control as it speeded towards the STAR labs compounds. Not far behind was Robin, perched on his own R-Cycle, while Starfire stayed high above.

"A few days ago it was the bank. Now somebody is raiding STAR labs for computer equipment. This is definitely Freeze setting up shop in Jump City." Robin shouted through the wind, into the mic built into this helmet.

"I don't know man, unless Freeze suddenly picked up an army, it isn't the same guy", Cyborg called back from inside his car.

"What?"

"The eyewitnesses that got out say that the guy's a girl in a suit, and she's got an army soldiers doing her work."

"Then it's not Mr. Freeze…"

Starfire's communication cut in, "Then perhaps it is the 'She' that the Mr. Freeze muttered to himself in passing when we fought him."

"Then it begs the question, how many of these guys are with Mr. Freeze?"

"Time to find out." Robin growled as he closed in on STAR labs.

Spit-shined leather shoes moved back and forth to an invisible beat as they propped themselves on the desk in the security room. In the room lit only by monitors, Valentine watched with delight as the perimeter security cameras showed the Titans approaching.

"Uh, uh, uh. Listen to the security guard, visiting hours only between twelve and four, and only with an appointment." Sitting up, she grabbed a walkie-talkie and brought it to her mouth, "Perimeter defenses, go!"

"DUDE! Watch out!" Beast Boy exclaimed at the sight of the office windows suddenly bursting, several missiles flying out towards them.

"Raven! Starfire! Take them out! Titans, move!" Robin shouted as the team began to fragment away from the warheads.

Raven's eyes glowed as she chanted, "Azarath, Metrion-"

One of them uses psychokinesis, and she can move all physical matter. You can identify her by her cloak and black-hued powers. Use something that is…not solid.

Valentine eyes widened along with her wicked sneer, the game was so on, "Missile teams, switch to premature burst Reds! STAT!"

The first volley of missiles crumpled away under Raven's powers, exploding harmlessly before the team, but immediately, a new volley came forth.

"Looks like she's not learning!" Cyborg shouted back to Raven, prompting her to use her powers again.

The new volley suddenly exploded into a burst of napalm that fell towards them.

"Looks like she is." Raven managed to gape before the gel-fire slammed down onto the T-Car, setting it alight. Unable to drive properly, the T-Car swerved out of control, only managing to crash through the closed gates of the labs, before smashing inside the lobby, still smoking.

"Starfire! Cover them!"

"I shall endeavor to do so!"

One of them has red hair. She uses some sort heat-based projectile weapon that emanates naturally from her body. I have a suspicion that she has a higher body temperature than normal humans.

"I want half the Missile teams to switch to heat-seeking!"

Starfire continued to shoot down the missiles that came towards her, but she finally was forced to dodge out of the way of one of them when they started to overwhelm.

She noticed it turning around in a tight arc back at her.

"Eep!" Dodging again, the Tameranian suddenly found herself being pursued through the night sky by a series of warheads. Below, Robin looked on in horror.

"Star!"

"Do not worry about me! Get to our friends!"

Robin snorted, but obeyed, trusting her judgment. Driving towards the lobby, Boy Wonder managed to dodge a few more napalm rockets, before crashing into the lobby as well, meeting up with a smoking T-Car, and the remaining Titans.

"You guys alright?"

"We'll live." Raven bluntly put it.

Behind them, a metal shutter suddenly slammed in front of the shattered glass, sealing the main entrance. The intercoms in the room suddenly squeaked to life.

"Halloo-oh! I see that only four of you made it this far!"

"Talk! I know you can hear us! Who are you!" Robin shouted to one of speakers in a corner of the Lobby.

"I'm the head of the Valentine Foundation! Ms. Valentine! Or Valentine-sama if you're from Japan, heh! I welcome all you Titans to my newest branch office!"

"What are you planning?"

"Two things really. A, I'm breaking into the high-security vaults at the top of this place. Must be something nice here, B, I'm here to see how good you guys really are! It's not everyday you see someone give ole Freezie a real fight!"

"You're not going to get away with this!"

"Oh please! The bigger question is whether you guys are going get away with this! Better start running, the Boodoo People are out to get you!"

Valentine cut off then. Beast Boy scratched his head at the words.

"Boodoo? What's a boodoo?"

"Looks like we're about to find out." Raven snorted, pointing down a side hall. Arising from the darkness were glowing purple eyes and marching. Soldiers poured out, guns firing.

The four heroes ducked out of the way of the gunfire, letting the scenery rip up around them. Robin threw several of his familiar birdarangs with precision, the red blades slashing into the hands and shoulders of the Boodoo People. Despite the large cuts, there was no effect, the men continuing to fire as if nothing happened.

"So they can take a couple of shots, but can they take this?" Cyborg shouted, arm splitting away into his sonic weapon. The discharged beams smashed full on into the metal shields, but the soldiers withstood and kept on marching.

Raven stepped in, hands glowing. Immediately the shields darkened, but just as fast, the energy dissipated around the shields, leaving the resident sorceress in shock.

"Magic?"

The Boodoo People only responded in more gunfire. Robin shouted, "Titans! Move!"

When I fought them, their strategy relied on their numbers. Each fought me one at a time, tiring me out, while leaving the other four to recover. At the same time, they stretched out the fight so they could devise a plan based on basic observation of the opposition's ability. Separate them, outnumber them, and hunt them down.

Valentine's gloved hand moved to the security lock down toggles, and started flipping them one at a time.

Around them, the hallways at various intervals started to drop armored shutters. As fast as they ran, the devices slowly started to separate them.

Cyborg was first, his large frame unable to slip underneath the first of the shutters. Beast Boy came next, the constant running starting to wear on him, until he couldn't keep up at the next junction. Raven and Robin split next, a sudden ambush by the glowing-eyed soldiers forcing them in different way through a T-Junction, before another shutter closed behind them.

Valentine's voice shrieked with delight, "Oh! You're all alone now! Like some cheap horror movie! Now, it's each one of you, against all my People! So what are you gonna do? Try and make it through this maze and regroup with your missing teammates? Or maybe you'll try to get me by yourself! But what about your friends! What are they gonna do? Oh the possibilities! This is just perfect! But I talk too much, so Ciao!"

Man, there was never a time where Valentine so badly wanted to make out with the camera monitors, just watching it was too beautiful.

Granted, normal people found Valentine disturbing, or maybe sadistic, or just plain psychotic. There was something to be said about people who went into fits of joy watching teenaged superheroes going through hoops made of automatic lead, chased down like animals.

Maybe that was it. She just loved doing this. She didn't love being more powerful than heroes or anything, just watching was enough. See them squirm, see them run, see the sweat run off their face, watch them tense up for last stands. How do they react in situation A? How is it different from Subject Two? Which one should she consider the Control Variable?

Valentine giggled as she watched the Green Cheetah narrowly dodge a grenade from one of her Boodoo People, and escape into the exposed air ducts as a fly.

No, it wasn't about glorifying herself. She already knew enough about herself. How would they act? Sometimes winning or losing wasn't the point, she just wanted to see what would happen if Subject so-and-so was in Situation such-and-such.

Oh, and that sorcerer girl was so fun to watch. How could Freezie say it was just telekinesis? She was injecting portions of her soul into her surrounding environment and manipulating it as an extension of herself! Without even blinking! Isn't life just grand to see how things like that would pop up!

No Valentine wasn't sadistic, or disturbed, or psychopathic. She just had the same love for her work as a scientist for his amoeba friends under a microscope. Or an animal researcher watching mice run through mazes. Aren't they just so fun to watch?

"Ooh! The normal guy's gonna get toasted!" Valentine cackled, watching on one monitor as the black-haired fellow in the green and red get up trap himself in a dead end. He threw a few of his red spinny things at her Boodoo People, but it bounced off the shields. He was smart, he didn't crack under pressure. He just glared at the guns.

This was so great. He was gonna get pounded down by the guns, blood and guts everywhere, and the Boodoo People wouldn't know when to stop shooting, so she would have to shout through the PA's for them to stop, which meant all the other heroes would hear, and then they'd know he was dead, and they'd-

Freak out? Get angry and go into a mad rampage and get killed as well? Well come on! Get on with the show! Ms. Valentine wants to know what happens next!

Suddenly the monitor showed the wall exploding, scattering Valentine's soldiers as that flying girl blew through the wall, blowing stuff up with her amazing green lasers. Gugh!

Valentine slammed her palm on the intercom as she watched the two go all "You're alive!". That wasn't allowed! The girl was supposed to be nuked by now!

"Hey! Don't bring up my expectations like that! You ruined the tension!" Valentine roared into the microphone.

"You are a mean lady who deserves not to have every thing the way she wants! And I've been told that to keep staring at one is rude!" The new factor chided, before a green light disrupted the screen, bringing static to the camera.

"Phhw! Annoying brat! Fine! I'll just watch the other-"

Valentine gaped. Where the robot-guy was, there was a hole in the floor, and the cameras didn't reach into the underground sections. There was no room the put cameras in the ductwork either, so the shape-shifting green fellow couldn't be tracked either. The sorcerer girl was all gone now, but that was given sooner or later. And now the other two were moving… somewhere. Cameras were being disabled wherever they moved.

Valentine rose from her seat, groaning, "Come on guys! Don't do this to me! It's going to be boring if all I have to watch is my guys just busting through the vault!"

Down in the dark, lit only by a shoulder lamp, five battered bodies convened.

"I don't know about you guys, but as far as I'm concerned, microphone girl's crazy." Beast Boy huffed.

"Not just crazy. She's completely insane." Raven darkly muttered like a curse.

"Raven? Then perhaps you know something about this Valentine?" Starfire asked, knowledgeable enough to know that tone of voice meant something.

"I know enough. She's a witch of the worst kind. Their type play around with the darkest magics like it's a game."

"Dude! How can anybody be any darker than you?" Beast Boy snorted. And immediately took it all back with that look Raven sent him.

"How about the types who bring the dead back to life?"

Silence.

Cyborg managed to speak up, "Rae… please tell me you were just talking figuratively, there's no way all those soldiers-"

"Cyborg, all those soldiers up there were ghouls. Each and every one of them. Trust me, I almost got sick feeling all the…dead."

"Dude! Zombies with guns and bombs? That's not cool!"

Starfire's face hardened, "Even so, it is our duty to see this through and stop the Valentine's evil before she escapes."

"Yeah, but how are we supposed to do that if she knows what we can do?"

"BB's got a point. She may be crazy, but she's not stupid. She knew how to handle most of us, and she tried to break up the team. Frosty prolly told her what he knew about us."

Robin folded his arms, thinking, "Just because she knows a few of our powers doesn't mean she knows everything about us. If we move, we can still take her by surprise."

"Surprise? From a girl who knows how we fight?" Beast Boy asked, eyebrow raised.

"Trust me, she thinks she knows enough about us, meaning she won't know how to respond if we throw her for a loop."

"Got a plan, fearless leader?" Cyborg grinned.

"Of course."

Raven folded her arms, "Fine, but leave Valentine to me. For someone to play around with magic like that… this is personal."

"Please, tell me that you're done with your stupid motivational speeches, so you guys can just come out, and I can blast your butts." Valentine grumbled, face buried in her crook of her arms as she sat on her chair backwards, leaning to and fro impatiently.

The whole bottom row of monitors had petered out from the Leader-Kid and the Flying-Girl's escape, leaving nothing but empty corridors to stare at, or the eye-bleeding of her Boodoo People burning their way through the security vaults. She didn't have to worry about electronic locks, the torches were enchanted to disregard certain points of reality, and only treat the vault door as a giant metal slab to burn through.

"Come on, come on, come on-HEY!"

The camera view of the vaults suddenly petered out into static. Along with the one guarding the east corridor on the second floor, and the roofs, and the electronics storage…

One by one, each security monitor broke up into white noise and haze, leaving Valentine completely blind in the room.

"Tch, so they want to smoke me out, huh? I'll show them…" She pulled out the walkie-talkie and yelled into it, "All units! Converge on the vaults on the fifth floor! All units to me! Want to show down, huh? Doesn't matter what tricks, I'll get you…"

Her leather tome followed her in the air as Valentine kicked her way out into the halls, a deluge of armed and armored ghouls came marching behind her mindlessly, all of them making their way to the corridor that led to what would probably become a battlefield. There indeed were the torch-workers, now scattered across the floor and unmoving. Seriously, how do you stop a ghoul? Last Valentine heard, all you could do was just blow the guy up and make sure to shoot anything that still twitched.

Mr. Owl? How many shots does it take to kill a zombie? Let's see, one, two, three! Three shots. How many shots does it take to kill a zombie? The world may never know… wait, thoughts wandering, stop it!

As Valentine returned to reality, she found herself staring at Leader-Kid and Flying-Girl.

"That's it? And here I was expecting a grand ol' Alamo! Fire!" She snorted, before snapping her fingers into the air. With that, the entire front row opened up in gunfire.

Flying-Girl easily floated away behind a corner of the hall, but Leader-Kid some how managed to duck under the first volley before throwing out several orbs. As the bullets caught against the side of the balls, they exploded into a thick cloud that obscured the far end of the passage, leaving the Boodoo People to fire blindly.

"Stop! STOP SHOOTING!"

The moment she said that, green bolts of energy whizzed past Valentine's head, along with a healthy array of birdarangs. No need to disarm, this time, blasts and blades smashed into the front row, knocking them backwards unto the ground, where they floundered uselessly.

"It doesn't matter what you do to us, Valentine. The Titans won't give up." Was all Robin simply said.

Valentine broke into giggles, "This-this is unbelievable! You hero types-oh…geez! One minute you're running for your lives, and then you suddenly regroup and act all macho. And all under the same guns and the same People! I can never get enough of seeing you guys squirm and change your mind more times and a Schizoid! Jeez! You just crack me up!"

Just then, the Boodoo master leaned forward, grinning, "And it don't matter if you give up. I know all your super powers, so you're going down!"

A snap of the fingers. In unison, the Boodoo People lined up obediently, their metal shields in front, covering their entire bodies.

"Let's see your stupid boomerangs and firecrackers get through these shields! MARCH!"

The undead soldiers tromped forward past their leader, guns ready to bear down on the two titans. Suddenly, Leader-Kid was shouting into the ceiling.

"Cyborg! Beast Boy! Now!"

The ceiling paneling broke through, letting Robot-Guy (Cyborg) crash to the ground between the two parties. Not long after the Green-Guy (Beast Boy, was it?) fell from the hole above as well.

"Time for a Beast Boy-" The shape shifter began before falling into Robot-Guy's hands as an Armadillo.

"-BLITZ!" With that, mechanical strength hurled the green ball towards the approaching Boodoo wall. Valentine didn't even have time to wonder what idiocy they were getting at before the Armadillo suddenly transformed mid-flight into a rhinoceros.

She did have time to scream in horror, though, as the hulking form slammed into the group, knocking the crowded column backwards. As Beast Boy ploughed through the group, their leader suddenly found herself buried under lots of Boodoo flesh. By the end, the army was collapsed across the ground.

"Booyah! Strike!"

"Looks like you played too hard with your toys, Valentine." Robin said with a smirk and folded arms, watching a leg smash its way out of the Boodoo mess.

"But you guys broke them! Geez! You guys sure are mean for a buncha heroes…"

"And you are the meaner one, for shooting at me and my friends and attacking innocent people for fun!" Starfire accused.

"Girl's gotta have a fun hobby, right?"

"Yeah, and it's about to stop being fun in about three seconds!" Cyborg snorted, aiming his sonic cannon.

"Right! I don't hang around when things stop being fun, and three seconds' enough for that!" Valentine haughtily laughed. Another snap of the fingers brought her floating book into her grasp. The book started flipping through pages on its own command, while Valentine began to chant, "Arius, Trasium, Mysai, Vel-"

The black-suited girl's words were cut short when a giant black hand of energy closed around her torso from behind, squeezing air out of her lungs. As Valentine twisted around, she found the energy emanating from a floating Raven's hand, while her eyes narrowed in disgust, "You're not going anywhere."

Valentine sneered and coughed, "And for you darling… sure! Arius-Trasium-Mysai-DEUX!"

First thing Raven knew, she found the soul-self hand suddenly growing Valentine Insignias along its length like a horrendous growth, and everything turning white-

The next thing Raven knew, she found herself being kicked away, and flying downwards into a stack of crates. Wood splintered and flew everywhere, while the sorcerer tried to regain her bearings. In front of her, Valentine dropped to her feet.

Pulling her hood back over her face, Raven glared at the other, "Where are we?"

"We're in Warehouse 70, on the north side. So we're still in the STAR labs compounds. So I got what I want, and you got what you want, and now we're both alone, and we can have ALL the fun we want by ourselves!" Valentine happily announced, stretching her arms out beside her.

"Doesn't matter. The others wouldn't know how to handle someone like you anyways." Raven darkly muttered as she rose to her feet, hands beginning to glow with inverted colors.

"Oh, Reaally?" Valentine giggled, bringing her magic tome to float by her, "Okay, lil'miss lone wolf, let's see what you can do!"

"Azarath Metrion ZINTHOS!"

Anything within Valentine's radius turned black and flew into the psychotic sorcerer, burying her under a pile of crates. Whispered words sneered right back.

"Firnium Valus Etoil Bryase!"

The wood blackened by magic, now blacked under extreme heat, as the mountain of rubble exploded outwards, tossing burning fragments everywhere. Raven only managed to float back with a shield as she watched her handy work burn away. In the center of the pyre, Valentine stood, her right sleeve un-burning with unnatural red flames, red sparks floating about her on command, along with the tome. With a wave of her arm, the sparks jetted towards Raven. As each missed, their trajectory only took them into more flammable materials, igniting and exploding, sending more flame everywhere.

"Where did you get the bodies to make the ghouls?" Jump City's first magician shouted into the heated air, tossing black energy and flaming debris.

"I buy them!" The second retorted, flinging red back.

"What-"

"Come on! Grave robbing is so fifteenth century! Why bother when you can simply buy John and Jane Does from the local morgues? People everyday are clamoring for three hundred bucks a pop to sell their bodies after they die! That's business for me!"

"You reanimate the dead like it's GAME!"

Black.

"Why do you care? It's not like you're in human resources!"

Red.

"You just can't use magic like that! I suppose you make pacts with demons for the fun of it!"

Black.

Valentine thumbed her lips in thought at that, "Well… God of Time, but that's different-"

"-Zinthos!"

"AGH!"

Corrugated tin roofing slammed into the darker magician from above. Next thing she knew, the same metal was wrapping around her body leaving her pinned upper body floating towards Raven's open grasp, obviously hoping the grab her harshly by her collar and have some words on the "Ethics of bringing people who are dead anyways and don't care, back to life."

When pale gray hands grabbed the embroidery, it came back burnt and smoking. As Valentine dropped onto the burning floor, she was probably just as confused as Raven, only more knowledgeable.

Wait a sec, a reaction to my clothes? But I only sew in… because my clients at times…meaning… no way…

Valentine laughed one more time, "No way! I can't believe it! And you talk to me about using dark magic! Hi pot, my name's kettle! Ha ha! Metas Travas Sais Boz!"

The metal girdling that imprisoned Valentine unfolded itself off her, letting her arms free to dust the ash away from her collar.

Raven glared as she nursed her smoking palm, "What did you do to me?"

"You don't get it? I sometimes put some cursed threads into my clothes, just for fun. But every once in a while it does give some useful reactions: You got the boiling blood. I can't believe a place like this had people like you living here! Freezie sure knows how to pick his cities!"

Just then, Sonic beams smashed through the wall, revealing a hole in which other Titans realized how bad of an inferno warehouse 70 had become. Valentine clucked her tongue in distaste.

"Wow! Looks like our fun's over, lil' lone wolf blood boiler anti-socialite! Whew, sure is a cooker here, no? Then again, for people like us, once you're to the Underworld, it don't matter how toasty things ever get!"

Valentine began to step backwards. Raven followed, "You're not getting away with this!"

"I'm sure not getting away from this city! So I got what I want, and you got what you want! Anyways, Metrium Xaals Tryvase Peos!"

A giant bus smashed through the warehouse, and screeched to a halt, Valentine suddenly behind one of the windows and blowing a kiss, "Tonight was wonderful! Maybe we can go out another time! Ha ha!"

Between Raven's hisses and the warehouse finally falling apart, Valentine's bus suddenly drove into another dimension, disappearing.

And the entire time, Valentine just laughed her head off while she sat in her empty bus. Tonight was so great. Beyond great! Indubitably fun! She shot people, made people squirm and run, got hit by Boodoo People, set stuff on fire, and got told off by people whose magic in her boiling blood came from the same source anyways! Lovely night! All fine as a flamingo! Or some metaphor like that.

Silent Night suddenly started doing a jingle in one of her pockets. Mr. Freeze's tune. Pulling out a metal red, metal gray phone from her pocket, she sang into her phone, "Hallo!"

"Valentine, report the condition of your task."

Task? Oh.

"Oh, about that! I kinda got carried away. Had too much fun playing around with the heroes to find a computer! I'm all sweaty, and now I gotta clean my suit-"

"And once more, your recklessness has set us back again. Valentine, I sent you to STAR labs with the express purpose of colleting more powerful processing equipment."

"Ah, don't worry about it! I hear that if you put enough regular computers in parallel, they equal a supercomputer!"

"That does not change anything. You task has not changed. Get more processing power."

"Geez! Lighten up! Get a life!"

"Having emotional response is why you have so far given a disappointing display, while I have obtained funds within hours yesterday. Do not disappoint me, Valentine."

"Geez! Who died and made you boss?"

"Mr. Phillis, in Nevada, the night you accidentally set the casino on fire which resulted in his death. His dying wish was that I take care of you."

"I knew that old man liked us!"

"I am cutting communication now."

"Later, ole Freezie!"

In the darkness, Mr. Freeze snapped his phone shut. He had found Valentine's female teammate she demanded. Since she made no remarks on the nature of whom would be good, it simply took Mr. Freeze a bit of research to find the most easily attainable "evil woman" and call it a night. If she didn't like it, Freeze figured the colloquial term was "Tough", and that she should have specified.

Another lighter in hand, Freeze changed the ground under her into soft snow, making sure of no chance of damage as he pulled the unmoving form off and onto his shoulder. She was heavy, but Freeze had worse.

As the pair was about to leave, Freeze noted the inscription on the ground. The words irked him just the slightest. He knew that he shouldn't make any reckless action, but…

Frozen flames washed over the plaque, before a booted foot stomped the last line into oblivion. Cold blue eyes knew better than whoever wrote those foolish emotional words.

"There are no such things as true friends."

Episode 3: "The Members Cometh" – It's time for things to come together, and for Mr. Freeze and Valentine to get new friends in the city. But between inept villain wannabes and an unintentional attempt to destroy the city, will things ever work out?