Chapter 12 - Ember
Ember - the smoldering remains of a fire / the fading remains of past emotions
He's always been the only one I could tolerate.
Thinking back on the matter now, the statement was way too true. The red-head could remember every moment the spent in their lives together too vividly, when days ago he could barely remember the last thing Roxas said to him. He chuckles at his own inobservance. What were you thinking; there's no way he would ever understand...He thinks to himself with a grimacing sigh, letting the tip of his finger linger a little bit longer than he'd intended in the warm glow that came from his lighter.
It hurt. But it was a good kind of hurt. It took away the pain. How much more emo can you get, Axel? he laughs, switching fingers. He'd been doing this since as long as he could remember; what's the worst it can do now? Roxas had always yelled at him for burning his finger tips; it wasn't like it particularly hurt or anything. Come to think of it, Roxas just always yelled at him period.
Whoa.
"Stop thinking about him, Axel." he whispers to himself, glancing at the passing people who stopped to glance back at him. Every face he saw just made him want to see Roxas more. Why couldn't they be Roxas? Don't know what you have until it's gone, right?He thinks to himself, switching fingers yet again and watching, fascinated, at the flame dancing around his skin.
Ain't that the truth...
The day they first met left such an imprint on him it was as if he'd gotten hit with a bus.
It was middle school, about five years back. Axel was an 8th grader, if he remembered correctly, when Roxas came into his life. He remembered all those days he spent, seemingly happy at first glance. Don't get me wrong; Axel had friends. Dozens of friends. He was the guy all girls wanted and all the guys envied. There was nothing wrong with his childhood social life.
His clique consisted of Saïx, the classic 'big brother' figure of our story; Larxene, the bitchy-yet-somehow-expected-to-be-his-girlfriend character; Xigbar, the class clown; and Demyx, the youngest of them and the renowned prankster. They were all "good kids" if you asked anyone in the group, but for some reason everyone else associated them with mischief. If someone exploded a chemical in Chemistry, Axel would be the one to blame. If someone's out of school, Larxene supposedly took them out for looking at Axel the wrong way. If there's some kind of leak in the school, Demyx was trying his 'water sorcery' again. That's just how things worked in their school. Shit went down, people talked trash.
Nothing but selfish rumors, a young Axel thinks to himself as the tips of his fingers run through the flames.
"Hey, you alright?"
The young red-head tears his eyes from his lighter, looking over at a concerned-looking Saïx. He throws him his million-dollar smile and forces a laugh from his throat. "Yeah, man. I'm fine."
"You look like someone just drowned your goldfish." Xigbar added with a cheeky grin from the bench in front of him. "Don't tell me this is about that girl again."
"It's not, for the thousandth time." he sighs, turning his attention back to his lighter. He cringes as he realizes just how long his finger has been in the flame. "This is the third girl this week. I'm starting to feel bad."
Saïx chuckles. "Hey, you're the one who keeps turning all these girls down. Why don't you just say yes to one of them and get it over with?"
"Because they're all so... I dunno, boring?Besides, I'm not lookin' to date, Saïx." He twiddles his fingers under the heat of the flame once more, smirking to himself as it he heard it sputter. Next thing he knew the light was ripped forcefully from his hand. He looks over, angrily, at his best friend.
The golden eyed boy had his usual gloom-and-doom face on. "You keep doing that you'll end up burning yourself alive."
He smirks cheekily, snatching it back and bringing his face close to his friend's. "I think that's my problem; not yours, Sai." The glare he'd gotten from Saïx amused him so; somehow it reminded him of a starting ember, the fire inside of him only starting to burn.
"You say you're not lookin' to date, right? Then you should channel all that angst elsewhere!" Xigbar intervenes, pushing the two of them apart. He bites down, obnoxiously loud, on his lollipop. "What if I told there's a new kid?"
New kid? Oh god, not another one..."What if you did? Am I supposed to care?"
"Fresh meat, Ax. Cute new sixth grader."
He thought carefully about Xigbar's words. He's either serious, or making a gay joke. The red head chose the latter of the two. "Lemme guess. It's a boy."
"You read me like a book, bro." Chuckling in victory, the black-haired jokester wraps an arm around his neck and pulls him close. He purposely ignores the grimace that made its way onto his face. "Whaddya say we knock this kid down a few notches? Show 'em who's boss at this school?"
Now this should be interesting.
The red head smirks. It sounded like a fun time, so why not? "Alright. I'll play along. When's he comin'?"
"Tomorrow. Ms. Amane's Homeroom. Think you can handle it?"
Better than dealing with all these damn girls.
"Yeah. Let's take him down."
The plan was simple; they pick on the new kid until it gets boring. Axel wasn't usually one to be mean but hey; anything to get these chicks off his back, right? I mean, who wants to date a jerk? It's not like he doesn't LIKE being the school chick-magnet (trust me, he enjoys it to its fullest) he just gets sick of the same old crap. Girls these days are so sensitive! You tell 'em you can't return their feelings and BAM; Mob of twenty other chicks in your face bitching about how "mean" or "terrible" you are for hurting their feelings.
Not my fault I don't like your bitch friend... the red head snarls in his thoughts after turning down yet another admirer. This one actually started crying. And he ACTUALLY felt a little bad for her. But that'd pass. It always passes. Yeesh, it's the same old thing with the girls in this school. I'm almost starting to get bored...He sighs, letting his back slouch against the wall and his body sink to the floor. He stared across the room at a happy schoolgirl/school boy couple. Fuck them and their happiness. The girl was smiling and giggling gleefully, the boy struggling to keep her from noticing the blush that made its way onto his cheeks. Why couldn't Axel smile like that with someone?
This has got to stop.
The following day, the two made their move. Using the excuse that they just wanted to visit their old teacher, Ms. Amane (being the pushover that she always was) allowed them access to stay for the period. Not only did they get to amuse themselves by picking on this kid, but they get to miss Algebra, too? Oh, that is so rich.
"Settle down, class!" Ms. Amane called to that homeroom, and immediately he grinned like a cat over at Xigbar. They exchanged wicked glares before peeking over at the fresh tinder in their fire. Prepare to get smothered,Axel thought to himself before his eyes widened and his jaw dropped.
Looking back on the memory, he realized that he'd changed three times in his life; when Roxas came in, left such a mark on him; when he finally felt like they could be something more, through a lover's kiss; and when he went out.
Whoa. It was the only word he could use to describe his first look at the kid. I mean... Axel didn't usually look at guys like that but damn... the kid's gorgeous. Spiky blonde hair that swooshed in all directions, big blue eyes hazed in a thick fog of anxiety... he reminded him of someone he used to know. But that wasn't important now; what mattered was the beautiful blonde that just stepped into the building, a calm but nervous look plastered on his face. There wasn't a smile, nor a frown or anything. He looked so at peace but... somehow...
He resonated every emotion running through his head; Axel could sense how anxious he was, how scary it felt for him to be in a new place. How lost and different he was in a crowd of people who had no faces.
Why does that feel... so familiar?
"If you'd please introduce yourself?" the stricken teacher asks. The look on her face looked like that of a love struck maiden. It made Axel sick to his stomach watching a 20-year-old woman swoon over an 11-year-old boy.
"Pierce. Roxas Pierce. I'm transferring here from Iwatodai. Nice to meet you all." he said, calm as possible, his voice like the sweetest Siren's song in Axel's ears. All the girls in the room had their little "kakkoii" spasm and Axel all but rolled his eyes. So... the new kid's a pretty boy, huh? Big whoop. What do I care about some angel-faced, too-cool-for-you kid?But despite his vicious thoughts he couldn't tear his eyes off the boy. How could he? He was... stunning. Beautiful, even.
Ms. Amane had left the room for a meeting, so Axel and Xigbar were free to make their move. But when Axel opened his mouth to speak to the boy now sitting next to him, Xigbar interrupted. "Sup fresh meat?" the black-haired man snapped. Roxas all but stared at him, eyes darting from Xigbar to Axel, as if he were trying to guess their intentions, find out which one was most threatening.
The blonde boy's expression didn't change. He just shot him a lazy peace sign and sunk down into his seat. Axel held back a laugh when he saw Xigbar's eye twitch. He clearly didn't like being ignored.
"What's wrong, short stuff; cat got your tongue?" he says with a cheeky grin, almost desperate to get a reaction out of him. Axel was intrigued by this new kid; he refused to speak and watched with intrigue.
"I can speak just fine." the blonde replies, reaching into his bag. "However, I've got nothing to say to you." And from his checkerboard backpack he pulls out a book, opens to a random page and his eyes are suddenly glued to the words inside. Axel raises an eyebrow.
Kid's got fire, I'll give him that.
Visibly annoyed, Xigbar waddled away, grumbling to himself. The red head chose to stay, however. This boy was... different, somehow. "Was there something you wanted?" Roxas asked, looking over the red head. "My lunch money? My sister? Anything to oblige my senpai." He says, rolling his eyes and mock bowing before Axel.
His comment felt like leaving his fingers in the flame too long. It was quick and sharp, but enough to make an impacting burn. Sassy one, ain't he? And I always thought I was bad...
"Nah." Axel began, leaning back in his chair a little. "Don't think my heart would be into picking on a new kid. A bit clichéd for my own personal tastes, got it memorized?"
The blonde looked up from his book again, letting his eyes lock with Axel's. Oceanic azures meet tropical ivy greens, and the two can't tear their eyes from each other for what felt like an eternity. Something about Roxas's eyes... called to Axel. They told a story, I guess. Their cool, cerulean color refreshing towards Axel's fiery personality. They dowsed the fires of his soul. He felt... right around Roxas.
"Axel."
Said 6th grader blinks, confused. "Huh?"
"My name. It's Axel." The young pyro gestures with his index finger towards the blonde's forehead. "Commit it to memory."
And there it was. That stunning smile, the most radiant, beautiful sight to be seen. "Alright, Axel. Consider it memorized." He said with a chuckle.
That was the first time he changed. For the first time in God-only-knows how long, Axel felt something inside him change. I know, I know; this is the part where I'm supposed to go all Dr. Seuss and say "his heart grew three times bigger that day!" and as cliché as it sounds, that's a little true. He felt a deep connection with this boy, this golden treasure bestowed and brought into his life...
A connection, so pure and true, that changed him. A connection that, no matter how innocent, he wanted to deepen. Much, much deeper.
A connection, he soon realized, that was impossible to further deepen.
The second time he changed, it tore his heart in two.
The smile he'd been so accustomed to seeing on his best friend's face wiped clean-off with just a simple touch of lips. He'd gone too far, the flames in his heart scorched and sizzled his restraint and he knew what he did was wrong. He knew it was wrong of him to let himself go further than a kiss.
He knew it was impossible for his treasure to accept his desire. His heart soared when he felt those lips press back, so tentative, so tantalizing... He felt like there was a chance, that maybe, just maybe, his golden treasure understood. That maybe... maybe he accepted this longing. That's why he hadto try going further. Just a little... it... it was a hopeless pursuit, he now knows but...
The heat of the moment... was too much for the pyro.
Miku: (bawling eyes out) AKU-CHAN, YOU POOR KICKED PUPPY!
Axel: ...way to make me emo, Miku. Seriously. Least you could do is let me WIN FOR ONCE.
Miku: What? Readers eat this stuff up, Aku-chan. What good is a romantic if he has no sense of angst?
Axel: WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN RIKU'S BACK STORY?
Riku: AXEL, YOU DIPSHIT, STOP SPOILING THE STORY.
Axel: (summons chakrams) WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?
Miku: Riku... He's got chakrams... Shit just got real.
Roxas: (pulls off headphones) What? I couldn't hear this chapter over the roar of my music.
Miku: (hugs Roxas) Roku-chan, you suck. ^_^
Roxas: ...what?
Miku: READ AND REVIEW PEOPLE! Your reviews... hm... OH! Your reviews are the fire to my pyro.
Axel: Aw HELL yeah.
Miku: Thought you'd like that, Aku-chan