Our Endless Numbered Days

Chapter 10- New Disaster

June 18, 1981

In the days following the attack, Josie was withdrawn. She spent most of her time in her room and when she could finally be persuaded to leave, she would spend her time in the kitchens with Mrs. Pierce. While this wasn't entirely unusual, ever since Sirius came to ten Downing Street, Josie had certainly been livelier. In the aftermath of their unfortunate trip to London, Josie seemed to be avoiding Sirius at all costs. But Sirius hadn't noticed, as he was doing the exact same thing to her. He spent most of his time out of the house, off at secret meetings, so that the two of them didn't cross paths. Not that Josie really noticed. But Mrs. Pierce did. And so did Mr. and Mrs. Flanders. Josie's parents, while not always the most observant when it came to their daughter did notice the lack of interaction between the two young people in the house. Each of them had their own idea as to why they were acting this way, but neither of them ever voiced their opinions, not even to each other.

And so it happened that Josie found herself with nothing to do but watch Mrs. Pierce make a pie in the kitchen. She didn't offer to help and she certainly didn't say anything. Josie knew better than to bother Mrs. Pierce while she was baking. Mrs. Pierce all but ignored Josie's presence, humming to herself as she rolled out the pastry dough between two pieces of parchment paper. The phone rang and Josie jumped at the sound. Ever since the attack, even the smallest of unexpected noises startled her. Mrs. Pierce wiped her hands on her apron and walked to the phone.

"Hello?" She answered it. Her face immediately became pensive as the person on the other line responded. Her eyes flicked over to Josie, studying her closely as she listened. "Just a moment, Matthew." She dragged the phone across the room, the curly phone cord stretching out to its furthest reaches. Meanwhile, Josie had begun shaking her head back and forth and waving her hands wildly.

"No," she hissed. Mrs. Pierce ignored her. Unceremoniously, she plopped the phone in Josie's lap. Josie had to scramble to grab it before it flew back across the room and the phone broke.

"Hello?" Josie heard from the phone.

"Shit," she swore and glared at Mrs. Pierce. The woman had already gone back to rolling the pie crust.

"This argument between you and Matthew has gone on far too long, I'm afraid. It's time to make up now," Mrs. Pierce informed her matter-of-factly. "And watch your language." Pursing her lips, Josie carefully lifted the receiver to her ear.

"Hello?" She started, getting up off her chair and dragging the phone out into the hallway. If Mrs. Pierce was going to make her talk to Matt, then she wasn't going to give the woman the satisfaction of overhearing her conversation.

"Josie?"

"Yeah Mattie, what's up?" There was a pause before Matt responded.

"You're not going to hang up on me?" Josie sighed.

"Well, only if you want me to."

"No, no, not at all." He sounded relieved and a twinge of guilt struck Josie right in the stomach. She leaned back against the wall, twirling her finger in the phone cord. "Listen, I need to talk to you."

"What about?"

"Not on the phone. This is something that needs to be said in person."

"Well, come over then. I've got nothing else to do, really. Just ask Mrs. Pierce; I'm sure she'll be happy to get rid of me for a couple of hours."

"I—I don't want to be overheard. Meet me tonight? I'll drop by at the usual time."

"Matt—" Josie began to turn him down.

"Please, Josie. It's important."

"Can't you just…Matt I can't meet you tonight," she said, her tone desperate.

"You have to Josie! I need to talk to you."

"I'm just…I'm not supposed to go out."

"I thought you said you weren't grounded." Matt stated, annoyance creeping into his voice.

"I'm not."

"Then what's the problem?" Matt exclaimed, frustrated. "Look, I get it, I screwed up at the party a couple weeks ago, but I'm sorry, okay?"

"Matt, it's not about that," Josie tried to reason with him.

"From my end of things it looks like it is. Look, if you forgive me, then meet me tonight." There was a soft click as he hung up followed directly by a dial tone. Josie slowly walked into the kitchen and hung up the phone. Mrs. Pierce looked at her questioningly, clearly wondering if the two teenagers had finally made up. Josie didn't pay any attention to her, far too lost in thought. She wandered out of the kitchen and up to her room. Flopping down on the bed, she stared up at the ceiling and frowned.

"Boo!" Josie screamed and jumped from her position on her bed, falling to the floor. She stared wide eyed at her doorway where Marlene McKinnon was now standing, her eyes just as wide as Josie's and her hand over her mouth in disbelief. It took all of a second before the girl dissolved into giggles. "Oh Merlin," she said between her laughter, "you should see the look on your face." It wasn't long until Josie was laughing herself.

Minutes later, tears streaming down their red faces, the two girls finally calmed down enough to talk to each other. The last time Josie had seen Marlene, it had been dark; this was the first time she was able to get a really good look at her. She had blonde wavy hair, cut short in a bob, and mossy green eyes. She wasn't tall, perhaps a couple inches shorter than Josie herself, but her presence filled the room. There was a small smile still left on her face after the giggle fest before. Josie thought she was beautiful. She was wearing lime green robes over a pressed white button down shirt and a black pencil skirt. Josie wondered about the uniform, but didn't ask about it, not in the mood to find the answer to her query. As Josie pondered this, Marlene entered the room and sat down next to Josie on the floor. "How've you been?" Josie shrugged.

"I'm fine." Marlene fixed her with a look that made her feel small and vulnerable. Josie winced and corrected herself. "I'm getting by."

"Any physical side effects?" The woman asked, her no nonsense tone of voice putting Josie on edge.

"No. Why are you here anyways? Did Sirius send you?" Marlene sighed.

"In a way. That stupid berk hasn't been answering any of my owls. I was concerned, so I thought I'd come and check out the situation myself. Turns out, the idiot isn't here."

"So you're checking up with me because…?" Josie trailed off, confused. Marlene shrugged.

"Just thought I'd say hi, see how you were doing. You were part of the reason I was worried. Most of my letters were about you and how you were doing, so you can understand, not getting any back, I was worried that something awful had happened to you."

"But…why do you care?"

"You're my patient," Marlene said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And Sirius cares about you. Ergo, I care about you. So, c'mon now, tell me everything that's been going on." Josie blinked up at Marlene, baffled. Marlene smiled welcomingly, trustingly at her and before Josie could second guess it, she blurted it all out.

"I have nightmares. Bad ones. And I'm jumpy, but you already knew that. And I'm scared that Sirius is angry with me, for making his job harder." Marlene reached around Josie, putting her hand on the girl's shoulder and pulling Josie close and comforting her.

"That's to be expected. It will all fade eventually. But I thought that might be the case." She reached into the pocket of her robes and took out a vial filled with a purple liquid.

"What's that?"

"It's a sleeping potion. Should help with your nightmares." Marlene passed it over to her. "It's just one dose. You should drink all of it before bed. If you are still having problems, have Sirius owl me next week and I'll give you some more. It can be very addictive to magical people, so I'm hesitant to give you more than a little bit at a time. Who knows what it'll do to a muggle." Josie stared at it, curiously, turning it in her hands, watching the purple liquid swish back and forth.

"What's it made of?" Marlene laughed.

"Trust me, you're better off not knowing. And it's going to taste horrible, but there's not much I can do about that." Josie uncorked the top and took a sniff, her face scrunching up in disgust at the smell.

"Ew."

"Succinctly put, my friend. It's more than a little gross. I remember brewing my first sleeping potion, in class at Hogwarts. Sirius was my partner and let me tell you, he's pretty hopeless at potions. Not even I could help him. He managed to add the wrong ingredient and our cauldron exploded. I wound up smelling like sleeping potion for three days. Nothing I did could get the smell out." Marlene smiled wistfully at this memory. "That seems so long ago, you know? A whole 'nother era."

"Sirius gets the same look on his face when he talks about his time at school," Josie mentioned off handedly. Marlene's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Is that so?" Josie nodded. Exhaling, Marlene began to stand up. "Well, on that note, I think I should probably let you get back to your pondering."

"Marlene?" Josie asked, hesitantly. Marlene cocked her head to the side, gesturing her to continue. "If you had to do something you knew wasn't a good idea, that it could get you in a lot of trouble, but if you didn't, it would hurt your best friend and make your already fragile friendship irreparable, and even though this thing probably isn't going to help your relationship at all, in fact, it might end it all together, worse than if you didn't do what it was you were supposed to do, would you still do it?" Quickly, Josie glanced up at Marlene, whose face was the picture of confusion.

"You're going to have to repeat that. Slower. And with a little more details."

"It's just, well, my friend Matt and I have been fighting. And well, we talked a bit today, on the telephone, but he said he needed to talk to me in person. The problem is, he doesn't want to be overheard, he wants me to sneak out and meet up with him tonight. But well, I can't sneak out. It's a bad idea, you understand? Not to mention, I'm scared out of my wits about the whole thing. But if I don't go, he'll think I don't forgive him. But I do. It's all so stupid now, after I almost…" Josie trailed off, unable to say the word, unable to face just how close she had come to death that day. "Anyways, I think I know what he wants to say, and it's probably going to end in another argument."

"Well, what's more important to you? Your friendship with Matt or getting into trouble?"

"Matt. Definitely Matt. He's my best friend." Josie responded without hesitating.

"Then you have your answer right there, don't you?"

Eleven o'clock rolled around and Josie was tensely staring out the window for Matt to show. He was late. Usually he showed up much earlier. She had already smoked the rest of the pack of cigarettes she had bought at the beginning of the summer, flicking the butts out of the window with irritation every time she had finished. The house was quiet, the street was quiet, the world was quiet. Josie hated it. In the silence there was a foreboding stillness that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up on end. She had gone back and forth, even after her talk with Marlene, about what she would do tonight. She had decided she would go out, talk to him briefly in an attempt to convince him to come back the next day. It was a compromise. She couldn't ignore him completely, but at the very least, she could try and persuade him to come to her in the daylight, when everything was a little less scary, when she was safe and secure inside her home.

She saw the headlights of his car first, the light illuminating the street below. The car came into focus a moment later and Josie stared down at it apprehensively from her window. The engine shut off and the lights went with it. When her eyes adjusted to the dark once more, she could see Matt peering up at her from the driver's seat of the car. She nodded at him, then disappeared from the window, making her way down to the front door and out onto the street.

She came to a halt at the bottom of the porch stairs. Matt had gotten out of the car and was leaning against it, a bouquet of flowers in his hand that Josie had a suspicion were for her.

"Mattie, I can't be out here," Josie whispered, not taking another step closer. Matt straightened up and laughed softly, hollowly.

"So concerned about rules now, after everything, Josie?" Josie shrugged, not moving any closer. Matt closed the distance between them, so he was standing right in front of her, close enough for Josie to smell his cologne.

"I shouldn't be out here. I need to be back inside. So can you come around tomorrow and we'll talk?" She pleaded, taking a step backwards, toward the door. To be honest, the dark scared her more than she'd like to admit. She just wanted to be back inside.

"No, I need to talk to you now." He thrust the flowers at her. "Here, these are for you." Josie sighed, but grudgingly accepted them. She knew that the conversation was not going to go well. She had an idea about what Matt wanted to talk about, and quite frankly, Josie would have liked to avoid the subject entirely.

"Matt, seriously, this can wait until tomorrow."

"No it needs to be now, before I lose my nerve."

"Oh God. Matt, please don't say what I think you're going to say," Josie begged.

"Josie, listen, I just…I mean…oh man, I had the whole thing rehearsed and everything, but I've forgotten every word."

"Listen, you go home and remember what you wanted to say, and I'll go back inside and we'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"No! It's not okay! What's with you, Josie? Why are you so concerned about talking with me on the sidewalk?" Josie flinched as his voice raised.

"Matt, don't cause a scene. I just…I shouldn't be out alone, especially not at night, is all."

"You're not alone, I'm here."

"Yes, but you're not—" Josie stopped herself, not wanting to get into the particulars. Matt didn't know about magic and it had to stay that way.

"I'm not what?" He asked, more insistently. "If you just stopped resisting, then maybe I could finally get the words out! You're ruining everything." At this, Josie's anxious face turned hard and a spark of anger glinted dangerously in her eyes. She was ruining everything?

"Perhaps, Matt, it's best if you don't say those words. Because if you do, I think it'll be you who is ruining everything. I'm going back inside now." Josie turned on her heel and took another step back towards the door. Matt grabbed hold of her arm, preventing her from moving on. "What, Matt?" She snapped, wrenching her arm out of his grasp, and crossing them over her chest.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Please, just…stay. Just for a couple of minutes more."

"What for? Matt, I'm telling you, this isn't going to—" But he cut her off by kissing her. Josie pushed him away. He stumbled slight, but as soon as he steadied, she whacked him in the chest with the flowers. "What the hell was that?"

"Christ, Josie, I'm trying to tell you I'm in love with you!"

"And as lovely as that sentiment is, Mr. Reynolds, I'm afraid I need to put a stop to this meeting," Sirius' voice cut through the air like a knife. Josie turned toward it instantly. Sirius was leaning against a streetlamp off to the left, his face impassive, but his eyes were flashing dangerously. He was clearly angry.

"Who the hell are you?" Matt asked. Sirius didn't dignify him with an answer, his attention now solely on Josie.

"What are you doing, Josie?"

"Sirius, it's not what it looks like. I promise. I tried to tell him that I couldn't come out, but he insisted! I had no choice!" She walked down the steps, closer to him. Sirius pushed off of the streetlamp and met her half way.

"You always have a choice. Merlin, what the hell is wrong with you? Not a week ago, you were attacked! One would think that perhaps you might finally get that this isn't a silly, little game! You're in serious danger! And yet, you still wander outside, unaccompanied, in the middle of the night. Do you have a death wish or something? Because, quite frankly, I can't understand why you're out here." His voice rose gradually and the louder it got, the smaller Josie felt.

"You were attacked, Josie? What's going on?" Matt interjected, but Josie waved him off. Now was not the time to catch Matt up with the goings on of her life.

"He's my best friend, Sirius, I couldn't just let him sit out here, thinking I'm still mad at him and don't want to talk to him." She reached out and touched Sirius on the arm, trying to calm him down, trying to make him understand but he swatted her away. She withdrew, her face akin to a puppy that has just been whacked on the nose with a newspaper.

"Yes. You. Can. Grow up, Josie! This isn't some petty fight that can be solved with an 'I'm sorry' and a hug, we're talking about people who want to see your blood spilled and they have the power to do it!" Josie had never seen anyone this angry before and it unsettled her that she was the cause of it all.

"Sirius—"

"No, we're done talking about this. Go inside, stay out here, I don't care. I'm done. You want to go and get yourself killed, go right ahead. I'm through." And without another word, Sirius turned around and began to walk down the street.

"Sirius!" Josie called, but she didn't run after him. She knew it wouldn't make a difference. When he was no longer in sight, she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, frustrated. "You should go now," she told Matt, turning back to him.

"Josie, what's going on?"

"I can't talk about it, Matt."

"Bull shit! You're choosing to not talk about it. God, what the hell am I even doing here? I make a fool out of myself, hoping for once to get anything out of you, and you completely ignore me and my feelings, like always," he yelled.

"I'm not ignoring your feelings, Matthew, I'm not returning them. There's a difference," she snapped back.

"You're not returning them? What does that even mean?"

"It means," she explained slowly, her patience wearing thin with her friend, "that I'm not in love with you. I never have been and I never will be. There's nothing you can do to change it, either. I'm sorry, but that's the truth."

"You love me," he told her, confidently.

"No, no I don't."

"Yes, you do! You have to! Ashley said you—"

"Ashley said?"

"Yes."

"And when was the last time that Ashley knew a thing about me, huh? We're not exactly friends. In fact, I'm pretty sure she hates me. She doesn't know a thing about me! Do yourself a favor, and the next time she gives you advice about me, do the opposite." Matt scoffed.

"Whatever, I'm done here." He said

"Yes, you most certainly are. Go home, Matt." His only response was to stomp back to his car, open the driver's side door, get in and slam it shut. The car started abruptly, loudly, and with a screech of the tires, the car took off down the road. Matt was gone. "And don't come back," she whispered.

Now alone on the sidewalk, Josie felt foolish. Her cheeks flushed, and her head bent down, her eyes studying the cement beneath her feet. Slowly, her hold on the flowers loosened and the bouquet fell to the ground. She wandered back toward the step in front of the door and sat down, burying her head in her hands, wondering where everything had gone wrong.

A/N: You all have no idea how long I've waited to post that last scene. It's been in my head since August, I wrote out most of it in November and now, finally, in March, you all get to see it too.

Don't expect any updates between now and mid-May. I'm buried in school work and have practically no free time.

I look forward to hearing what you think!