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Theme 15: Silence

POV: Sookie

Rating: K+

Silence Ringing in My Ears

I used to long for silence because it was something I never experienced. Even if everyone around me was silent, their minds never were. The first time I met Bill, I was overjoyed by the fact that I couldn't hear him unless he was speaking. I couldn't read his thoughts and he moved so silently most of the time that if he didn't want me to hear him, I wouldn't. At the time I thought silence was golden.

The first time I had a glimpse of Eric's mind, I was terrified. Mostly I was terrified because I believed that if I were able to read a vampire's mind and if that were to become common knowledge, I would certainly have a very short time left to live. If I'm being completely honest, though, I will admit that part of me was terrified of losing the silent sanctuary I had found. Silence was no longer golden; it was platinum.

Vampires are no longer silent to me. I can hear one standing behind me right now. Your average person might be fearful, but I know that no harm is coming to me. The vampire behind me is one I am familiar with, even if I was surprised since he was supposed to be in Las Vegas. He's the one who broke my long sought after silence.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked him, "You know you can't sneak up on me anymore."

He gave me his most innocent look, which, given that he is a vampire, wasn't very innocent, "Me? Why on earth would I try to sneak up on anyone?"

I rolled my eyes and replied sarcastically, "Gee, I can't think of a single reason. But you weren't trying to sneak up on anyone. You were trying to sneak up on me. That won't work. I can hear you from miles away."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Well, then," I continued our banter, "I repeat my original question; what do you think you're doing?"

Now he smirked, "I came looking for you."

"Obviously. I guess, what I really meant was why were you looking for me?"

"Well, then, that's what you should have asked."

Sighing, I asked, "Are you ever going to answer the question?"

Now it was his turn to sigh, "You have to understand before I answer, that I wouldn't say this in front of anyone but you. You have to swear you won't repeat what I'm about to say."

Oh, boy. This was going to either be really good or really bad. Trying to hold back my 'Crazy Sookie' smile, I nodded vigorously to show that I agreed to his condition.

"When I woke up this evening, it was quiet."

I almost laughed out loud and couldn't even begin to contain the grin that appeared on my face. After biting my lip to try to regain some composure, I replied, "That's it? It was quiet? I didn't know that vampires were bothered by quiet. You spend your downtime in absolute silence and you're hearing is so good, I wouldn't think things would be any quieter for you than they would be for me in a room full of silently thinking people. Not to mention, you were in Vegas, how quiet could it have been?"

"I was actually started the trip back to Louisiana last night. I was about halfway here when I stopped for the night," Eric explained, "and not that it really matters, the kind of quiet I was talking about would have been just as present right on The Strip."

"I'm not sure I understand," I didn't mean for that to sound as apologetic as it did.

He gave me a look that was somewhere between pleading and exasperated, "I couldn't hear you as well from that distance."

Still feeling like I was missing something, I replied, "I would imagine not. Even with vampire hearing, that's quite a distance."

"I mean through the bond." I stared at him for a moment and he continued, "I can hear you through the bond. Not your voice; more like your presence. It's like a humming or ringing."

Suddenly, everything began to make sense. I knew what he was talking about. I could hear him, too. It wasn't a ringing or humming sound for me. His presence was more like a tickle or the sound of a feather floating on the breeze. It was a sound so soft as to usually go unnoticed, but I suddenly knew that I would realize if it ever stopped completely.

Seeing my look of comprehension he asked, "Do you understand what I mean? And why you can't tell anyone about my being bothered by the quiet?"

Speechless, all I could do was nod, never taking my eyes off his.

He wasn't done yet, "When the bond is quieted by distance, it makes me worry. If you were to run into trouble, which let's face it, you have a knack for, I might not know. I want to get back to reassure myself that you're okay; that your sound isn't going to disappear."

My heart melted a little. Here was a man – vampire – who had survived for a thousand years by building walls around the 'human' emotions he had once felt and now he was, not for the first time, pouring his unbeating heart out to me. So I gave him a gift in return and told him, "I can hear you, too. Not as loudly as you describe it, but I can. That's probably why I didn't notice the difference the distance made. But I know I notice if you disappeared from my head entirely. I don't want that to happen."

With those words, I knew something had changed in me forever. I used to long for silence because it was something I had never experienced. Now I had experienced it and lost it. Now I knew that if silence ever found me again, it would likely be more deafening than any sound I had ever heard.

A/N: The next theme is "Questioning."