Yeah, I didn't grammer or spellcheck this because i am wayyy too tired! Maybe i'll do it later. For now, Enjoy the story! P.S. there will be a part 2 to this chapter and also i'm continuing with the canon episodes but changing them a bit to fit my story line!
Chapter 11: Shadows Part 1
"You're nothing..." a familiar voice whispered through the pitch black darkness.
"Worthless..." another voice echoed.
"You will NEVER be as good as him..." a third voice taunted.
"Ever."
"You'll always be in the shadow of his talent..."
"Nothing more than a shadow..."
"You'll never make it anywhere..."
"You're just a shadow...-"
Jillian eyes sprung open as she laid in bed. She abruptly sat up and breathed in and out rather heavily. Her heart raced. It was that dream again... The dream shes had at least three times this week already. Just voices in the dark... mocking her... insulting her... And she knew exactly whose voices they were. But this wasn't just a figment of her imagination. These words were said to her just one month ago. Those words drove her out of Carmel High School...
Jillian remembered that day like it was yesterday, the day she quit Vocal Adrenaline. She sulked out into the parking lot just like everyday, feet dragging along the pavement. But this time, she was stopped by three girls she often tried to avoid.
"Why'd you do it?" Andrea lashed.
"What are you talking about?" The youngest girl asked, trembling a bit.
"Why did you quit Vocal Adrenaline?" Giselle demanded.
"Guys, I already told you..." Sunshine began. "She couldn't handle the fact that she's not good enough. She's just been holding it in all these months until she finally cracked." Jillian began to tremble more.
"What's wong wittle baby? Gonna go cwy now?" Andrea teased.
"You're nothing, Jillian. You're worthless. Quitting was the right thing to do-" Sunshine began.
"Shut up..." Jillian muttered under her breath.
"What?"
"Shut up! You have no right to talk to me like that you big-headed diva!"
"You're just jelous, St. James." Giselle snickered.
"And why would I be jelous of you guys?" Jillian protested, shaking in frustration, sadness, and anger.
"Because Sunshine stole your spot..." Jillian froze at Andrea's comment.
"Yup, that's right. Goolsby made the mistake of making you lead because of your brother. When he found me, you couldn't handle it that I replaced you."
"How did you not realize that you will never be as good as him? You're not even a fraction as talented as Jesse." Jillian's eyes began to tear up as the three girls began to rip her heart out.
"You will never be as good as him... face it." Giselle repeated.
"Ever." Andrea added.
"You'll always be in the shadow of his talent." Sunshine said, shoving Jillian back. She was defenseless. Jillian simply let the three girls push her back towards the dumpster and trash cans that resided nearby.
"You'll never make it anywhere."
"I knew you couldn't handle Vocal Adrenaline. You are too weak," Giselle laughed, shoving Jillian back again.
"You're just a shadow," Sunshine repeated, knocking Jillian into the trashcans. The three girls laughed and strolled away. The cans had collapsed around Jillian, covering her in garbage. She just sat there, letting tears role down her face. She could barely breathe through her crying. And that was when she decided that she couldn't take it anymore. Jillian made the decision that somehow she was going to escape and transfer to somewhere she wouldn't be a shadow anymore...
...
"So that's why you transferred..." Kurt said with an understanding expression.
"Bullied out. Just like us." Blaine added. Jillian gave a stiff nod. Her eyes glazed over but she took a deep breath and calmed herself down.
"Can we change the topic?" Jillian asked in a whisper uncomfortably.
"Sure. So what are you putting on you're 'Born This Way' shirt?" Blaine asked, making quotation marks with his hands.
"I am not saying." Kurt stated.
"And why is that?" Jillian asked curiously.
"It's a surprise. I think they should all be surprises."
"Fair enough." Blaine murmured.
"I'm just glad we are singing GaGa again!" Kurt exclaimed happily. Blaine laughed and put his arm around Kurt's shoulders. Jillian had tuned out of the conversation. She thought about what her shirt should say... She was afraid to put her deepest insecurity. Jillian wanted to mask it with something that really wasn't a big deal to her - but it didn't seem right. After much thought, she finally decided what her shirt would say.
"I got it!" She exclaimed. Blaine and Kurt both gave her confused looks. Not only did she know what to put on her shirt, but she knew what song she wanted to sing.
"Kurt, I need you're help. Come with me." Jillian grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him out of the choir room, leaving behind a very confused Blaine.
Facebook:
Jillian St. James: I'm on the right track, baby I was BORN THIS WAY!
Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, and 7 others like this
Andrea Cohen: so you're happy being a nothing then?
Giselle Prower: i guess u finally accepted that ur destined to live out ur days in the shadow of ur brother
Jillian St. James: leave me alone!
Andrea Cohen: make me! :P
Sam Evans: Wow, you two must really have NO life what-so-ever to be tourmenting a girl who obviously doesn't want anything to do with you in your free time. How pathetic.
Jesse St. James and Kurt Hummel like this
Jillian St. James: thanks Sam :)
Giselle Prower: Shut ur oversized trap, Trouty Mouth!
Jillian St. James: dont call him that!
Kurt Hummel: how did you even know that was his nickname?
Andrea Cohen: we know everything, princess ;)
Blaine Anderson: Alright you stuck up snob, thats crossing the line!
Giselle Prower: OOOOOOOH im SOOOO SCAWED OF A NEW DIRECTIONS LOSER!
- post deleted by Jillian St. James -
"I cannot stand them!" Jillian shouted, throwing herself onto Rachel's living room couch.
"You just can't let them get to you, Jill," Quinn said softly, patting the younger girl on the shoulder.
"Yeah, they feed on our insecurities," Rachel added. As the three girls talked, Kurt gazed at Blaine as he strummed his guitar.
"They just can't seem to give me a break. It's super agrivating!"
"How is your brother reacting to their taunts?" Kurt asked, snapping back into reality. Blaine looked up as well.
"Well, I tell him most of what they say and what they do-"
"What about your nightmares?" Blaine asked curiously.
"No... not those. I don't want him to think that it's all his fault."
"Wise decision. Jesse has enough on his mind," Rachel began, receiving confused looks from Quinn and Jill. "-I a-assume..." she stuttered.
"Can we get back to practicing? Me and Rachel also have our own song to work on," Quinn sighed. She wasn't all that fond of Jillian since her and Sam became friends.
"Of course, your heighness..." Kurt mumbled. Blaine began to pluck the strings of his guitar and Kurt took a deep breath, preparing to sing.
...
The four friends stepped forwards. The three girls wore tattered, jean shorts, plaid shirts, and cowboy boots. Kurt had on a similar outfit but instead of shorts, he wore skinny jeans. Blaine and Sam had their guitars around their necks and Puck had a banjo. Artie had dug up a washboard from his attick and voulenteered to join their little pit band. Those for boys all had on cowboy hats to go with the theme.
Kurt:
You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me,
You, have knocked me off my feet again,
Got me feeling like I'm nothing.
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded.
You, pickin' on the weaker man.
Rachel:
Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow.
But you don't know, what you don't know,
Kurt and Rachel:
Someday, I'll be living in a big old city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?
Jillian:
You, with your switching sides,
And your walk by lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again,
As if I don't already see them.
I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again.
Quinn:
I bet you got pushed around,
Somebody made you cold,
But the cycle ends right now,
You can't lead me down that road,
You don't know, what you don't know
All:
Someday, I'll be, living in a big old city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Why you gotta be so mean?
Kurt:
And I can see you years from now in a bar,
Kurt and Rachel:
Talking over a football game,
Jillian:
With that same big loud opinion but,
Jillian and Quinn:
Nobody's listening,
Kurt:
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things,
Rachel:
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing.
Quinn:
But all you are is mean,
Jillian:
All you are is mean.
Rachel:
And a liar,
Kurt:
and pathetic,
Quinn:
and alone in life,
And mean,
Quinn and Jillian:
and mean,
Quinn, Jillian, and Kurt:
and mean,
All:
and mean
But someday, I'll be, living in a big old city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean. Yeah,
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Rachel, Quinn, and Jillian:
Why you gotta be so mean?
Kurt:
Someday, I'll be, living in a big old city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
All:
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
Jillian:
Why you gotta be so mean?
Throughout the song, the four of them did some dance moves similar to square dancing. When they finished, the choir room filled with applause.
"Great song choice guys! Overcoming those who brought you down in helpful in acceptance!" Mr. Shue jeered happily. Everyone tooks their seats as he continued to talk.
"Alright, so everyone knows what tomorrow is, right?" All of the students cheered happily. They all knew that tomorrow was the day they would get to perform Born This Way.