Down, Down, Down

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Chapter Four

My heart died down at long last and left me in silence and in peace. It became a gentle throb before the eventual lessening of an underlying ache, then to my relief, nothing at all. I wanted to lie down and rest, because I felt so tired, but my tired legs dragged on despite having no direction at all. I was amidst the forest, after having left the Hatter standing alone by the tea table, I did not have time to see his face. But if I did I am sure he would be shocked at my rudeness or maybe if I was lucky, he would be concerned for my leaving. If I was lucky. Though I felt guilty for doing so, I had to get away before I cracked. Because if I did not, I was entirely sure that the niggling I had been ignoring at the back of my skull would somehow explode – though I wasn't entirely sure what would happen if that did. I imagined it to not be pleasant. Maybe I would finally lose the plot and become truly a mad person? Or I may die? Probably not, but sometimes it felt too painful that it seemed that way a lot.

To my disbelief I noticed the sky coloured at a night sky navy- blue and purple still. I had either been walking for hours or minutes. To that I was totally unsure – as I had mentally noted before, I had never been that good with time keeping, and this, was another one of those times. I turned around abruptly to see the path behind me, but there was no sign of the tea table or even a clearing in the distance. Instead it was a blue tinted path, covered in a spectrum of coloured leaves and surrounded on both sides by think forestry. If you carried on staring into the far off path you would not see light, but it would carry on until you saw nothing less but shadows anymore. I wanted to call out for help, that I was lost. Although, I had never liked being one to ask for directions, so with a brief inward sigh I carried on ahead down the path. I gave one last fleeting look behind me and set out again. It was intensely lonely and I saw the leaves falling around and in front of me like snowflakes, they barely made a noise at all.

It seemed that though it was very well into the night, and that it was also different here than in England – for it was neither cold nor humid, it was warm. It was just the right warm temperature for sleeping, because it was the type to make you feel relaxed and want to close your eyes without thinking about it twice. I wanted to just lean back and fall into a bed of leaves I was sure would be waiting for me, I was so very tempted...

I blinked my eyes several times before I held them wide open to keep from doing just that, if anyone was looking (which I'm sure was) they could see so much of the whites in my eyes that for once, I may look frightening. From my left hand side I heard a low, deep whistling sound in the wind as if something was moving around in the air. It came in short, slow bursts that provoked my curiosity. I could have been a bird, but I would have definitely heard wings fluttering by now, seeing as it was so close to my face. Though I studied the diameter around me from the side of my eyes, I saw nothing though the sound continued again on the other side of me and then behind.

Curious, I spun the whole way around to face my visitor – inwardly frightened that it would just be a mouse or another animal, and that I was probably overreacting again. To my surprise I came face to face with an odd fur ball of a grinning cat, whose smile stretched so wide across his face I could count his gleaming fangs in the darkness, if I wanted to. Though he was floating in mid air a few centimetres away, he flew forwards the small distance quickly and we collided, so that our noses touched – I gasped and his smile stretched further, if possible. Notably he chuckled a deep, manly laugh before moving back away again and proceeding to swirl around me in half spirals of mist and half his solid body. I had to keep walking around and turning to keep up with him.

"It looks like your back, Alice." He said in his deep, out of place rumble with a hint of an underlying purr. A few rays of moonlight escaped the foliage and shade of the trees, coming down around us in dancing circles on the leafy floor, and showing the dusty air floating.

"Cheshire Cat." I stated, and rather unsure where the name had blurted from.

"Ah!" He exclaimed, and his voice echoing in the deep shadows of the calm forest, "So the young Alice keeps her promise and remembers!" The cat, funnily enough, was able to smirk and swirled around me producing clouds of purple mist around him as he floated. Why did everyone think that I was this other Alice? By now, I was hesitant to give up this as a dream, because everything was so real, so vivid... I could really be here. Down the rainy hole.

"Oh no, you've got me wrong. I just know your name and that is all. I think you have got me mixed up with another Alice?" I said, my voice sounding as unsure as my mind felt and the niggling was back, though I only noticed it faintly - I had stopped following the flying cat and stood terribly still whilst he observed me from the back. I felt the piercing of his eyes on by hair, then the back of my neck and downwards. He was studying me?

"No," He murmured and peering over my shoulder so that I had to turn my head slightly to him. He beamed, "You are definitely the right Alice. No other Alice would have that golden messy tress of hair and that curiouser look on your face. Yes, it is most certainly the right Alice. There are no others." For a moment he evaporated into the still night air and all I could hear was his breathing. After a minute his grin appeared in front of me in a distance, coming into view a while before the rest of his body did. It seemed like I was becoming less surprised by strangeness, perhaps I was already accustomed to it for some time!

"But I do not remember who you ar-"

"Who is the Queen of this land?" He asked sharply, and cutting me off. One furry eyebrow lifting.

"The White Queen," I began, the look on my face growing shocked at myself. I let out a quick gasp. The words came out of my mouth before I had time to process the question or the quick information appearing in minute fractures in my mind – as if a part of my memory that had been chained up was becoming undone, "Mirana of Marmoreal?"

The troublesome ticking in my head grew a little louder and I pressed my palm to the side of my head where it was hurting most. I could not stop it. It was inside me and I could not reach inside and turn it off, it was impossible! My brows knitted together in inward confusion.

"Then what is this place?" He pressed on.

"Wonderland! Maybe I have been here before? I don't remember, I can't remember anything right now…" I looked up from the earthy ground where my black boot dug in, to the bright face of the Cheshire Cat. How did I recall these names? And of people I had not even met before! I tried to think back replaying images in my mind to see if Hatter slipped me a name or not. But I was sure he hadn't, he barely talked about himself much either. I had to wiggle it out of him.

"Wonderland, eh?" He resumed his dizzy whirling and slow motion, defying gravity movements, "You really are you! And so you do remember! Tarrant? Know who he is yet?" The Cat's smile became mischievous; he looked like he was plotting. I felt unsure of trusting this stranger I was talking to but at the same time, my mind told me to be at ease.

"Hatter is- Hatter is…" There it was again, the throbbing head and aching chest, it escalated slowly like a shrill electrifying drone. My eyes watered; "I think I- I-" My knees unexpectedly gave way, and collapsed onto the floor. My bare knees beneath my dress dampened a little in the soil and I pressed my palms to my face, suppressing the tears from flowing. I was glad they did not come. I stopped for a second to look up at Chessur floating above me, his eyes and teeth luminous in the dark – leaning down tilted towards me and resting his round head on his paws and arms.

"Chessur?" I mumbled, though my voice cracked a little. He gave one last brightening grin across his face and then disappeared into the night in a puff of smoke. Pieces were coming back, little by little - just places and names, but no character, relationships just yet.

I was left alone but for the quiet sounds of the night time insects singing their songs and once again, the wind whispering untranslatable words in my ear. My hair fluttered a little in a wind as I stood, and my legs shaking. I had so many fragments in my mind floating around without a purpose or an origin. Like Chessur, they floated where they wanted. They just stayed there, waiting to be put back together. And I wanted to.

I turned back down the path and unsteadily I ran. Like I ran through the rain and mud before I fell down the gate to Wonderland, with my hair and dress whipping on to my body, it trailed behind me in the air. I ran back home to Hatter.

A/N: Okay, before you think anything. I will be posting the second part of this chapter tonight! And yes I am typing it now in my excitement, while this goes up! Sorry it is short. But hopefully I make it up with the next one. Enjoy!

-fallen11angel