Down, Down, Down
Chapter Six
"How do you think I can get my memories back?" I asked Hatter unsurely and with a weak voice, though I was fairly sure I had held it well from breaking or trembling. But I was not sure why I was afraid of asking?
I continued to follow the familiar path across through the centre of the deep forest, still remaining neatly covered in millions of spectrum coloured leaves, as if undisturbed by my presence the night before, and surrounded by a mountain of towering trees. When I looked up into the sky, past the tops of highest leaves that filtered in the oncoming moonlight, the sky had an orange and pastel pink tint to it – the sky around the glowing moon was silver and blue. The place was neither menacing nor frightening, and this appeared to be the time of day we were out most – for it was not too hot, or too cold. This was now decidedly my favourite time of day, if I had not ever mentioned it before.
This time the path was not followed alone, for I was with Hatter and I was walking at a calm, gradual speed – this time, there was no sign of pain at all. I was able to count my footsteps as I breathed and placed each one in front of the other in turn, my hands playing with the frilly ribbon around my waist to keep my hands occupied. I dared to sneak a quick glance at the tall man beside me, and smiled to myself at the thoughtful look on his face that I liked so much. Thankfully, a soft breeze came by and blew the curls of my hair across part of my face, concealing the smile completely from my companion. My smile only widened.
"I presume, your memories will return according to triggers that remind you of the past. Just like you were reminded of those few memories because of a glimpse of the tea table… or me…" He began, with a little more sureness than I had ever begun with, nevertheless the troubled tone was unhidden in his voice. He was fighting to save me, like a hero and that made my stomach flutter.
"My memories were triggered when you said," I winced a little with a sharp stab in my body that caused me to knock away the words from my mind, and tackling the strike full on so that there were no traces of me struggling to Hatter, "…Goodbye."
I saw Hatter turn to look at me abruptly from the corner of my eye. His green eyes, which were shining so brightly in the dimming light, threatened with a spark of grey that overwhelmed the intense glow in his eyes. I didn't dare to turn my head to meet them.
"Your memories will come back if you follow the path that you took when you last came here." He announced into the silence, and returning back to the subject before, avoiding the previous one. I was glad, because it meant that I had no explaining to do, or any awkward situations involving this of the sort. Instead we continued walking together, while we bought pondered. Well, Hatter did because I had just begun to daydream about silly things… like holding hands. My cheeks became rosy as I tumbled back to reality… like I tumbled down the rainy hole? But that wasn't me tumbling into reality… this was something else.
"So where exactly is my path leading to now?" I asked with a sparked curiosity of reliving the journey I had taken once before – however, feeling distraught for the fact that I had none but little recollection of it. I had a quick flash across the eyelids of my closed eyes as I blinked, of Hatter picking me up between his thumb and finger, before hoisting me across a clattering table. Though the memories were small and few, they made me so happy that my eyes watered, because things that were once empty were now beginning to make sense. That emptiness in my life was there – but I knew that something was there before.
A small, nearly unnoticeable smirk appeared and played on Hatter's rose tinted lips, before he began, "The Blue Caterpillar…"
I stifled a sharp gasp of subconscious realization, which meant I began to speak words that had barely ever crossed my mind since the time they were forgotten. I so disliked when that happened, when my memory got ahead of me and spoke without my consent. Even if I didn't know what was happening in the world around, I wanted to know what was going on inside my mind, at least. My delicate fingers darted up above my parted lips as if surprised they could even speak – or speak words I never knew.
"Absolem, The Smoking Caterpillar?" I asked half in statement of the truth and the other half in question.
Hatter laughed, a deep beautiful laugh that had me freezing on the inside, willing me stop moving my feet despite them still walking in sync with Hatter's own graceful trail. The tail of his coat fluttered in the wind was I glanced down at our feet. Yet my feet staggered forwards, no match to his two refined ones that barely left traces in the dust.
Likewise to my memory, had he been so pleasant a dream or so graceful to my mind that afterwards it was almost as if he had scarcely left traces of himself behind for me… I was thinking about this too hard. At this point, the progression of my madness was slowly and surely becoming true. Though I was able to fully function as a person, I was soon beginning to lose my mind from over thinking. About everything. About everything especially Hatter.
"So you still recall the name? Absolem, seems to know everything about anything, or anything about everything. Either way, I'm sure he may spare us a few wise words regarding your memory problem." The cheerfulness in his voice was heard, as was the curl of a smile that stretched across his face. I had decided to allow myself to stare full on, twisting my head in his direction to be able see it clearly. I wondered inwardly, if he had ever looked this happy with me before and if I had ever shared laughter with him. Shocking me out of my daze, I was knocked back as he outstretched a finger and poked my forehead. I had not fumbled backwards with the mere force of it, but it was as if his touch was so overwhelming I had to retreat… or maybe I would melt? Freeze? Collapse from my knees giving way? I was sure he had not felt the surges of electricity that erupted from that one touch.
Suddenly the chuckle in his voice halted and his animated face froze slowly, as his eyes widened to look straight up into the darkening sky. If his ears were not so invisible underneath his hair and large hat, I swore they would have perked up also, as if he were hearing something in the distance. I too stopped in my tracks to lean forwards into mid air and listen for any unusual sounds or voices in the dark. I found none, but Hatter began to look around him upwards. Was there bird in the sky? Was it singing a song that only the people of Wonderland could hear? I wanted to hear too! Though I cupped a hand around my ear to magnify my senses, it did no good. It made no difference.
I was shocked when Hatter began jogging forwards, his brogues still made no sound as they collided with the ground, just as gracefully and easily as he walked, whilst beckoning me with one hand. I only followed at a slow, pensive pace. But I could not help it, since my muscles were numb.
"Hurry up, Alice! The gems are coming!" He yelled hastily from our distance ever increasing, as he hurried away I was left alone dragging my feet. I knew he wouldn't come back to carry me even if I wished for it… I was being lazy. I pushed myself to a brisk walk and eventually reached the half-clearing that Hatter had disappeared to. I had goosebumps from the thought of being left alone by him, the thought og leaving him. Oddly enough, as bright as the clearing was, with the large moon appearing to rest on the peak of a shady mountain, this clearing did not give itself away down the forest path. Instead it just appeared after one step. One second in the dark forest, another second in a bright empty clearing.
"Hatter?" I called out, frightened and observed the landscape with quick darting eyes, scanning over for the familiar figure. This clearing was not too large before the forest on the other side began again. Similarly to the clearing for Hatter's tea table, this was the same size and the same prim grass cut. On the other hand instead of a windmill and tea table, there was an array of spaced out trees, though they did not stretch up as high as the other trees in the depth of the forest, these were wider, with more foliage and with a carved half side of the trunk so that it was hollow and smooth. It looked almost like the back of chairs – tree chairs. Around it the branches curved back around the trunk as if it were embracing itself, or concealing the chair inside?
Hatter leaned out from the side of a tree trunk suddenly appearing directly in front of me – he made me jump, though I caught him smile at the idea of having scared me before his expression changed to a serious one. A worried one.
"What are you doing out there? The gems are going to get you!" He exclaimed, before running forward towards me and grabbing my elbow, pulling me into the safe shade underneath a large tree. I could not help but feel the hairs on the back of my neck raise at the thought of being followed, or that somebody was going to get me! Dear Lord, I began walking as fast as Hatter, we would have looked ridiculous – though I did not have enough willpower to stop me from peeking behind me in the shadows of the forestry behind us. It looked like it would close up and engulf me, had I not escaped into the empty land… and abruptly the air became humid, I felt fine sweat on my shoulders.
"The gems?" I asked, my voice trembling as we reached the shelter of the branches. Unfortunately, the warm, electrifying touch that bonded me and Hatter together for a brief moment, disappeared as his hand slipped away and down at his side – far from my reach. Not that I dared to reach for it, for the consequences would be disastrous. I shivered, despite the humidity.
His back was to me at first, but he turned around just in time to witness me shiver. With a raised brow he began to ask, "Are you cold-" To which I childishly shook my head vigorously, so he did not find it necessary to finish his sentence, instead he answered my other previous question.
"The gems! Oh sometimes in Wonderland, Alice, it rains and at others it gems! Just literally, it's dangerous because pink shining gems fall out of the sky! And you wouldn't want to be caught up in that would you?" He gave another cock of his eyebrow before throwing himself down onto the grass floor, leaning in the cove carved into the tree – like an armchair! I followed him with my eyes as he sat down; I hesitated and shifted from foot to foot. Instead of sitting beside Hatter as he patted at the ground beside him in the armchair, I took a seat the edge of the safety of the branches, just enough to see the rest of the clearing and trees that surrounded us and also be sheltered… from the falling gems? Gems?
"That's absolutely ridiculous! Gems?" I said in a huff, as I too threw myself down onto the floor – but less gracefully as Hatter, and more like a flimsy fool. The dress fell in tides around me and my fingers never left the cloths of my dress, wringing it in my small hands.
"Be careful," He called from behind me and I could almost hear the mischief in his voice, "It would be quite unfortunate if a gem were to fall atop your fair head." I peered over my shoulder to cast Hatter an unimpressed glance and caught a glimpse of his wide toothed smile shimmering in the darkness of the tree – I halted midway when I heard an odd sound.
"Here it comes…" He murmured, so that I thought only the both of us, alone in the world would be able to hear it. The noise I had begun to hear, was unlike anything I had heard before, well not in this amount.
The sound or sounds I heard began almost silently, but was now beginning to get louder and louder until it was thundering, shaking the ground and vibrating it. My dressed rippled silently in response. The sound was a like a twinkling, the twinkling of a high pitched bell and reminded me of how I imagined stars would sound like – pretty and girly. The sound was beginning to sound like a million jewels being twinkled together and were clashing against each other to make more sound. I covered my ears now, and watched unblinking as the first showers of pink dust emerged from above the lining of the thick leaves and branches above me, acting like the roof on a front porch. The pink glittering showered and poured over the side of my artificial roof and down near the edge of my spilled dress, from there the dust dissolved magically into the earth, leaving all traces of existence gone away. I took a hand from my right ear and began to outstretch my arm out to feel the glitter, but froze to look up as the sounds became a deeper twinkling, like wind chimes and the sounds became like stones crashing onto one another. The dust was suddenly replaced by pebble sized pink gems that fell out of the sky. They were cut in the shape of dimensional diamonds, but not as sharp and others were actually the shape of rain drops. Nevertheless, with the deafening sounds they disappeared back into the earth after they fell – unlike rain, this rainfall didn't leave the ground wet or anything on it. After watching silently, with only my breathing to break the silent world I was in, I pushed out my hand the full way and into the rainfall of pink gems. I was surprised when I felt no sensation of touch or anything on my hand and averted my eyes back to see that actually the falling jewels were passing right through my hand, just as they did in the ground. I gasped. Were they the ghost like thing, or was I? Was I disappearing from this world? I checked myself, and was solid and real... I still was here, I thought.
I felt rays of reflective colour on my facial features as the light from the darkening sky rebounded off the jewels and then outwards in rays of bright spectrum light, I smiled. I continued watching with a curl on my lips as the pink rain went on and on, so thick that you could barely see a few metres distance ahead of you – the time went on like hours and I kept watching. Hours elongated, and I carried on sitting on the windowsill and watching the rain drops race down the window pane, on a good rainy day.
Unexpectedly, through all the gems that whispered past through my skin, muscle and bone, one small pink gem fell right in the palm of my hand and I retreated it back rapidly in surprise. It was about the size of the nail on my pinky finger. I gasped again and held the small translucent stone in between my thumb and index finger to study it with wide eyes. My lashes fluttered down as I stared at it before I spun around quickly and shuffled over quickly so that I was kneeling at Hatters feet, that were outstretched at the end of long legs, one resting on top of the other.
"I caught one!" I squealed in excitement, so loudly that Hatter shook and peered out from under the brim of his hat with one eye. Was he sleeping? Though I did not care this time because after several, what seemed hours of relaxing my hand underneath the ghost of jewels, one became real! I could keep it! It was a piece of the sky, Wonderland's sky.
Upon looking at the small jewel between my fingers, Hatter's eyes widened as he leaned forwards and engulfing one of his smooth hands over mine, so that he was holding it too. My heart began to beat at irregular intervals that my chest has in a pleasant pain, he pulled my hand and me closer to him to study the gem himself. I was leaning over and acorss him, but dugs the toes of my boots into the dirt to keep from falling. His lips parted slightly and eyes widened further before they rested on my face then back down again to the stone.
"Only so few have ever caught a gem! Usually it just falls from the sky and that's all! But Alice, dear! The gem suddenly materialised for you, it was not a ghost anymore and became real!" He appeared just as thrilled as me, and pulled me so hard forwards with a gasp that I fell right onto him, even though I tried to prevent it. I lost balance from his pulling force and fell on top of the Hatter. Then I froze, but he didn't notice, or care. He just continued chuckling as he looked into our joined hands, holding the rose tinted thing. I couldn't move, as my head lay on his chest and the rest of me across his half sitting body, I couldn't even breathe I was so frightened! My hair was sprawled across and my eyes were a wide as ever before, my heart had begun tearing out of my chest and in my eardrums, I knew that he heard. Anyone would hear it!
Turning blue from the lack of air, I heard the faint sound of his deep voice whispering beyond the loud drums and crashing pebbles, my eyes peered upwards and I saw nothing but his perfect lips. I still couldn't move, I was going to die this way. Even then it seemed like a beautiful way to die, in the arms of… stop thinking!
"Those so few have said that a gem that falls into your palm in the middle of gemfall, should give it to the person they are in love with…" He muttered above me, so much that my eyes watered from not blinking and there it was again, that mischievous sound in his voice – from his own innocent mouth! This was certainly not appropriate in this position and that… tone of voice! No! "So who is it that you are in love with?" He asked innocently and angelically, smiling down at me as I managed to push my arms up and lift my face in line with his. My expression became shocked, mouth falling into an 'O' and eyebrows raising high near my hairline, it looked comical, because I was sure why his smile became a toothy grin, showing off his perfect smile.
"I don't –do-don- know yet!" I shrieked, stuttering and probably turning the colour of prune that everyone teased Aunt Millie for having when she laughed or ate. It was an unattractive shade to blush – prune. Hatter laughed, "I can't handle that kind of responsibility yet!" I continued. Hatters laugh subsided and became a trace of a half smile, my insides trembled. My heart was now trailing like a salted snail.
"Yet?"
I averted my eyes elsewhere and avoided the embarrassing choice of topic the conversation had turned to. I tried to evade blushing again, because even in the dark, it gave everything I was thinking away. I think the Hatter liked the idea of that just as I liked the idea of seeing what he was thinking when I looked into his eyes. Right now, his eyes were a brighter shade of vivid green, with specks of blue, and emerald in between and the thinnest outline of pink on the edge. If I had not been so close, I would not have noticed the pink but now I saw it was glowing, enhancing the green. We were too close.
"How long will this rain last?" I questioned, my eyes glued to one root of the tree by Hatter's thigh, because at least it was not his beautiful face. I struggled to pull away this time, but was held back by Hatter's strong grip on my hand – it was now not accommodating the gem between my fingers and clasped around my hand entirely, holding me down. When I met his eyes finally again, I was rooted there too and he was looking at me so sadly, reminiscing like he loved m-… That was not right.
Hatter wasn't hearing me, and our proximity was making me nervous, my heart was probably tired from beating too quickly. Our closeness was confusing him, and me. His eyes stared on at me with the same emotion; I wasn't sure what my eyes said back, maybe they were the same. Everything was too much, it was magnified – the sound of my heart, our touch, his skin, my chest collapsing imploding. I began to heave like a madwoman.
Just then Hatter unclasped my hand and I was allowed to escape, but just before I could he caught me in his arms, wrapping them gently around me. Not constraining, or trapping me so I remained there, still. I rested my cheek in the nook of his neck, it was warm and real – what was happening? My eyes fell with heavy lids, though they struggled to keep open but this was too comfortable. It was home, I reminded myself. It was warm, soft and perfect - I wanted to close my eyes.
The last I heard was Hatter and I breathing, the distant twinkling. The last I saw were the ends of the dark strands of hair that rested against Hatter's face, I was resisting the will to touch and brush it, I saw his neck and the branches beyond that… and pink beyond that. I closed my eyes and eventually slept, finally giving in to biology and to the fatigue from my heart. I was tired, and so I slept, resting on Hatter.
Hatter smiled to himself, and held the fingers that protected the pink gemstone in my hand, they shone through the gaps between fingers into the dark. Hatter lifted it, and rested it on his left chest above his own heart. Placing it where it belonged.
A/N: Firstly, I beg for forgiveness! I did NOT give up on this story, I was just really sick last week that I could barely get out of bed, let alone open my laptop to type. But I daydreamed ;)
And to any of you who empathise, we have to write our personal statements for school right now - it's actually hell! Well, not much else to say but enjoy! This is a really long chapter :S
-fallen11angel