Knight: You will find out what Coree did, eventually, ha, but for now, I don't own Star Wars, if I did, this would not be fanfiction, and now, on with the story!

XxX

"Well, now, you've got us into another fine mess, Artoo," sniffed Threepio. "And seriously, couldn't you have gone to a more wet planet? Because this reminds me of a beach that doesn't know where to stop!"

(A giant face in the sand showed up.)

"I will now eat you, because I am a giant beach that does not know where to stop!" it cackled.

Threepio waved his hand impatiently at the sand monster, who shrieked and said, "Agghhh! It burns!" and melted away into the sand.

Threepio said, "Where was I? Oh, yes!"

"And the krayt dragon skeleton on the nearby hill is a bit much, isn't it? I mean, really, these people's views of interior design will kill me!"

Artoo beeped. A loose translation means Gaah!

"I'm sorry, my comrade, I didn't quite catch that. What did you say?"

He again beeped. Uhh… nothing. Nothing…at all!

"Oh, well, and…where are you going?"

Far away!

A random dude popped out of the sand and said, "Far out! Whoaa!" and then, he just disappeared.

"What makes you think that there is intelligent life over there? For all we know, we could be entirely alone on this planet!"

You are forgetting that we keep on being scared out of our wits by intelligent beings that pop out of the sand and then disappear.

"Well, I'm going this way because it looks way more sandy and I want to die from heat stroke!"

I hate to break it to you, but, uh, you're a droid, therefore, you can't die, and especially not from heat stroke!

And I'm going whether you like that or not!

"Fine then, be that way! And don't beg me to come!"

As Threepio shuffled away, R2 beeped to himself.

Yes! I've gotten him out of my circuits!

He rolled along as he was mentally partying from 3-PO letting him be.

Then a Jawa shorted out his circuits and he wouldn't work for a day or so.

What a bummer.

XxX

Threepio was shuffling along.

"My life is over! I should've fallen apart about twenty years ago, when I my head was severed and I was half-battle droid, half-prim and proper me! Oh, R2, I'm done for!"

Some man popped out of the sand. "Often, we never learn our lesson until we have our heads upon the chopping block," he said wisely.

Threepio was now hysterical.

"Who do you think you are - Obi-Wan Kenobi? And I'm going to get my head chopped off?"

"Calm down!" the man said. "I'm just going to keep you on your toes? I mean, come on!"

Threepio was being like Joseph Pulitzer, that is, in Newsies. He was a bit wrong in the head, if you get my meaning.

I will not describe the various obscenities and swearwords that went crashing down onto the old sage's ears. He promptly hurried off to consult one of his buddies who was apparently training "The Chosen One".

But then again, Albus doesn't know about Anakin or Luke, the new hope, he thought.

Threepio then was left alone with his mumblings, until a big block thing showed up on the horizon.

"A transport! By gum, I'm saved! Over here!" he yelled, not so smartly.

Then, a Jawa picked him up, shorted him out, stowed him in the crawler, and then, when he woke up, he saw R2-D2.

"Artoo!" he said happily, like a little kid.

Nnnnoooooo! Not you again!