Chapter 4

Rosalie's POV

Who's leaving? Three suitcases? Esme and Carlisle never told us about a trip and Alice would certainly bring more than that if she left. Did someone arrive? Esme entered the room and smiled at us warmly.

"How was your hunt?" she asked.

"It was alright, I guess." I said with a shrug.

"Who's leaving?" Bella asked.

"Us three." I heard Alice say as she entered the room.

Us three? Why? I like it here. And how can three suitcases carry all our stuff? Where are we going anyway? Did Alice see some sort of vision? I looked at her in confusion, hoping that she'll answer all my unspoken questions.

"Where are we going to, Alice?" Bella asked.

"Italy." She replied, indifferently.

"I'm not thinking if suicide, Alice." I said, sternly. I may be sad but I'm not the suicidal type. If she wants to provoke the Volturi, then go on ahead. I'm not some idiot who'd commit suicide because of a guy.

"What's wrong, Alice?" Bella asked with concern.

"Nothing is! I'm not thinking of suicide either. I wanted to shop, if you don't mind. It always makes me better." Alice replied with an innocent face.

"Why Italy then?" I asked.

"Because they have a good selection of clothing and I saw a vision regarding a new Volturi king."

New King? Through the many years that the Volturi has existed, they never had a new king. Why didn't they have a feast for the person yet? I'm confused.

"So am I. All I saw was that there was a new throne in between Aro's and Caius' throne. I just think that I need to be away from the house for a while. I already asked Esme and Carlisle and they said yes. I can go there alone, if you want." Alice said and I shook my head.

"Alice, I don't think I'm in the mood to travel. Bella can accompany you but I don't want to leave the house for a while." I said and she nodded.

"Okay, Bella let's go." Alice said.

"I'll think about it for a while….. Face it, Alice. Italy just holds too many memories for me and I'm not exactly sure if I could handle it." Bella replied, hesitantly. She bit her lower lip and sighed. "I'm going for a run. You'll be the first to know my decision." Bella said and she was gone.

BPOV

I ran away from them. I have to be strong. I have to be strong. That was the mantra I repeated in my head. Keeping the façade that I was alright was difficult. I knew that I had to be strong for Alice and Rosalie since if none of us was, we would be a train wreck for the rest of eternity. I arrived at the very meadow where Edward- wince- and I professed for our undying love for each other. I sat down. Undying? Well, it turns out it wasn't undying since his love for me died. I just couldn't let anyone see how hurt I truly was. I knew deep down inside me that I was fooling myself that I was alright. I now wonder, would I ever be okay? Can I truly be happy now that my existence for living was gone? I sensed the confusion in Rosalie when she asked how I was taking it better than them. Little did they know that the inner me was in turmoil but I couldn't just break down. I have to be strong. I promised him that I'll be strong for both Alice and Rosalie and that promise was basically hard to keep. There was suddenly a spectrum of light that came from the sun that hit me and I sparkled and I remembered all the times we spent together especially in this very meadow. I finally broke down and sobbed. For once in my time as a vampire, I regret being one. If I aged again, the pain would die once I did and dying was easy to accomplish when I was human. But now that I am a vampire, I have to bear this cross my entire existence and I just can't commit suicide by provoking the Volturi since Alice would see my decision. If I stayed human before, I would probably dead by now and I won't suffer this very pain. Suddenly, I was in Alice's arms. I sighed and just kept on sobbing.

"I saw you crying, Bella. You don't have to be strong for me and Rose. We both knew that you were deluding yourself that you were alright. We'll get through this." Alice murmured in my ear and I kept on sobbing and then I realized she was 'crying' as well. She's right. I can't fool them that I'm alright since all I'm fooling is myself. I don't really think that Italy would be good for me since it would hurt me even more but what about Alice. Will she be fine alone? Would she commit suicide since we aren't with her? I'm so damn confused. I knew that Alice was still hurt and she truly did love Jasper. She was willing to die for Jasper and to let us die for Jasper. They were the compliments of each other. Jasper was the only one who could calm Alice's upbeat personality and the pain Alice is going through must be excruciating. "Edward" I winced "Had no right to make you promise to be strong for me and Rose." Alice said bitterly and I still couldn't reply. "This is their fault and he knew that you were as hurt as Rose and I or maybe even more. You can't be self sacrificing all the time. I knew sooner or later your tough girl façade will break. I'll go to Italy alone and I promise that I will never commit suicide in any way. I just want to see the new Volturi king for myself." She said and I just nodded. We stayed like that until the next day when I finally calmed down.

"Let's go home." I said and she nodded.

A/N: First, I want to thank everyone for the constructive criticism. It really helps. So now, tell me what you think and review.

xoxoxo