Chapter 6
BPOV
Sleep. I wanted to sleep badly. Wait. Maybe I am sleeping and I just dreamt everything like how I was turned into a vampire. Maybe this is a horrible nightmare and when I wake up Edward will be there and holding me like nothing happened. If this was, I wanted to wake up. The problem is that everything feels too real and I knew that I was fooling myself to think that I was still human. The pain was real too and it was waiting to consume me. I looked at the cottage. Many memories were brought to me and it hurt even more. I've been anti-social since Alice left. Pain would engulf me more if I talk with people since the simplest things reminded me of him. Just being myself reminded me of him. Pain is terrible. It's a burning sensation that you could feel. It was worse than the burning sensation when I was thirsty. This burn was horrible, more horrible than when I was being changed.
I needed to come out here sometime, right? That was my choice alone. It's been a week since Alice left and most of time she made me feel better. What would I do without my sister? What about Rosalie? Is she alright? I was too selfish to care. Seeing people I love hurt would hurt me even more and I didn't want to feel more pain so seeing Rosalie was definitely something I'd want to do. I am a selfish creature. I didn't want to see Renesmee either since she was like a female version of him. I closed my eyes, hoping that I couldn't see anything that reminded me of him. Wrong move. I just saw his face again amidst the darkness and all the times we spent together flashed back. I quickly opened my eyes. I was breathing heavily. What did I do to deserve this? This was far worse than the pain I felt when he left before since I had hope that he would come back and he did but this time I knew that there was no hope of him loving me again and that killed me. It was a sick feeling. I knew that I couldn't do extreme things just to hear his voice again since I was indestructible now. Forever must have gone so fast for him to leave me. I've fooled myself to think I was alright but I was light years away from alright. Life officially sucks. I growled, frustrated. I was so mad at myself for believing that Edward- wince- would love me forever. I was mad at Edward for breaking all his promises. I was mad at Jasper for taking him from me and hurting Alice as well. I was mad at Serena and Emmett for hurting Rose. I was mad and bitter and I just realized it now. I was not bitter a week ago because I was keeping my façade on. I hated the fact that I was bitter. He's happy, why can't I be? I wanted to be happy again but at the same time I refused it. I know that I could be if I tried, if I wanted to try. This is complete crap. Just kill me, right now. I don't care anymore. I was past the state of being just broken, I was far worse. I wonder if I could still be repaired. Lifeless Zombie: Part 2. I thought to myself. Wonderful. I hate life. Life hates me. Why bother trying to be happy when the one that makes you happy the most was gone? I can't believe that I'm finally giving up. I promised that I would help Alice and Rosalie but what use would it be if I can't even help myself? I sighed. I feel like a withered flower, dry and lifeless. I heard knocks on the door and I couldn't bring myself to open it. How long have I been moping around? It doesn't matter now, nothing does…….
Rosalie's POV
I knocked on the door of the cottage. Bella still wasn't answering. Isn't she here? She has to be since her scent is so strong. I knocked again but still no answer, Should I just enter? That would be rude but I needed Bella badly. She gave me comfort. Something about her helped me to be stronger but she finally cracked, as Alice said. When she went home the day Alice told us that she'd be leaving for Italy, Bella was different from when she was comforting us. She looked defeated. I knew she was still depressed but I'm a selfish creature. I needed her. No one else could comfort me, not even Esme who I treated like my very own mother. Something about Bella made me feel safe and comfortable. I sighed. I opened the door and Bella wasn't in the living room of the small cottage so I went to the bedroom and saw her dry sobbing. She looked up to me and when our eyes met, my cold and dead heart broke. The shine that was in her eyes before wasn't there. It was dull and empty. It's like Bella wasn't in there. She was broken and from the looks of it, more broken than I was. It hurt me to see her like that. I quickly ran to her side and cradled her in my arms and I held her and it felt so good to do so. I smiled weakly.
"Rose….." she muttered, her voice void of life.
"Bella? Are you alright?" I asked, stupidly. Of course, she isn't! Why else would she be dry sobbing? You're such an idiot Rose. She shook her head. I sighed. "It'll be alright."
"Never." She said. "How long have I been here?"
"Well, just four days after Alice left. Why?" I replied and she just shook her head. This injury that has been dealt upon her is far worse than when we left when she was still human. It was so hard to see Bella like this. It's like she's a lifeless zombie. I felt anger within me. Edward knew this would happen. He knew that his actions would ruin Bella. How could he even do this to her? Bella's a sweet person and very nice too. If I knew this would have happened, I would make sure that Edward never even went near Bella before. He can be insensitive.
"Bella, this isn't your fault. It's not your fault that he's with Jasper. I just wanted to let you know. You shouldn't ruin your life because of him." I murmured.
"Are you over him?" she asked. I bit my lower lip. Of course not. He was my life- my eternity. I know it would be hard to get over him but I have to try. That's why I do things to distract me, like hunting a lot. I also help at the hospital just to get my mind away from him. I shook my head and she just nodded.
It would be hard to get over him but I had to. I knew that eventually I would and in time I could finally forgive him and have a meaningful conversation with him but not now. I am still broken. I'd crumble at the sight of him. I can't get stuck at the present because I would never meet the future if that is the case and it would be stupid to mope around all the time over a guy. But…. One day, I would be happy. We all would. Me, Alice and Bella.
A/N: Okay.. Next chapter will be Travis' life. Do you like his character? He's kinda like a player. I changed the pairing to Alice/ Bella since this will concern both their love lives, so to speak. Tell me what you think and if you guys give me at least five reviews, I'll update immediately.