Previously;
"Hayles? Are you up? I really need to talk to you." Someone said.
I rubbed my eyes and glanced at the clock. 3:38 am.
I cleared my thoat. "Josh?" I said my voice was hoarse from all of the singing I guess.
"Yeah it's me."
"Ok um sure come in." I scooted over to make room.
He climbed in beside me and pulled the curtain shut again. I turned on my light.
He turned to me.
"There's something that's been driving me crazy. I feel if I don't tell you tonight, right now, then I might explode. Jeremy and the guys are all asleep. I just I don't know exactly how to say this or how you'll react and I really cherish what we have. Our friendship and I don't want this one thing to mess everything up...and...and" I put my hand over his mouth to shut him up.
"Shh Josh, C'mon your rambling. Just tell me what it is. We're best friends. You can tell me what it is."
He looked into my eyes, and I into his. "Hayley, I'm in love with you. You don't have to feel the same way. I just needed you to know. And if you don't share those feelings back then we can just move on like this never even happened. I won't let this ruin our friendship. And..." To stop him from talking this time I didn't place my hand over his mouth. I stopped him with a kiss.
It's been two months since that kiss. We've all returned back to Franklin, and I haven't talked to Josh since. I didn't know what came over me, or why I'd kiss him. It was something I'd wanted to do for years, so I guess when I finally got the chance...I just did it. The kiss was amazing. He'd been so soft the way he gently put his hands on my cheeks, and I tangled my hands in that gorgeous head of hair. It was definatley the best kiss imaginable, and wayy better then anything I could of dreamed. He loved me, and I loved him back.
Once we got home, I had every intention of contiuning things with Josh. After all, he was always there for me; my best friend. I could trust him more then any other guy out there, and he was such a sweetheart. But as soon as we came home, after all the fame that came from RIOT!, the local girls couldn't get enough of Josh. Sure, Jeremy and Zac and Taylor had a handful of girls begging to go out with them...but Josh had a ridiculous amount. Litterally every single girl in Tennessee was dying to get with him, and it's not like I could blame them. I mean LOOK at him, he's gorgeous. But I knew by dating him, I'd get a rediculous amount of judgement and hate from all those people. Something I could just not deal with, and I mean I had a few guys come up to me since we got home. None of them were even the slightest attractive. They were all way older then me, and creepy too. Very creepy.
Point was, I wasn't good enough. Compared to Josh, he could have any girl or girls that he wanted. Why would he possibly want to stick with me?
So I kept myself busy most of the time. I helped my parents around the house, ran errands for them, volunteered around town. Everything Josh called, I was either at not at home, busy, or I just had my mom answer for me. I knew he couldn't be put off forever, as we were set to tour again soon. But for now, I just wanted to focus away from that, and save myself the hurt. September 23 we were set to hit the road with All Time Low, Hey Monday, and My Chemical Romance; so I started focusing more on that.
One day, Zac called and said he wanted me to come over because we all needed a group talk, and to work on our setlists for this upcoming tour. I reluctantly agreed, and knew I'd without a doubt have to see Josh for the first time in months. This time it wasn't avoidable. Once I got to Zac's, I went downstairs to find Taylor jamming out on the drums, Jeremy and Josh were playing some kind of video game. They were speeding down the road in cars, blowing up random buildings, and hooting and hollering everytime. I laughed and shook my head at them; Guys were so easily amused.
Zac spotted me first, and engulfed me in a giant bear hug.
"Yo, lil sis." He shouted, "You actually came!"
"Oh, didn't know this was optional? I can go now, if you guys just want to continue gaming..."
"Hah, nice try. But no." He said seriously, "C'mon!"
He pulled me over, and sat me down on the couch right next to him. Taylor walked over to sit on my other side, and Jeremy and Josh shut the game off, turning their attention to us. I looked over at Zac, and he pulled out a piece of folded paper from his pocket.
Taylor began to explain the setlist they tried working on before I arrived. Usually, the boys would come up with a setlist they liked, and ask me to look over it. Sometimes I'd add or take out a song or two, but for the most part, I always agreed. This one was their best yet.
"Looks great!" I grinned, "Only could the last song be My Heart? I really wanna keep playing that one. It's my favorite, and the crowd really seems to love it too."
"She's right." Josh finally pipped up, "As always. and it's my favorite too."
He looked right at me with a wink. I blushed, and looked down. After all this time, he still gave me a warm tingly sensation everytime his deep chocolate eyes stared right into mine. Oh, how I loved those gorgeous eyes of his.
Zac noticed this little exchange between Josh and I, and being the matchmaker he is, Zac decided to give us privacy. He suggested the guys go outside and play another round of Basketball. Except Josh said he wasn't feeling up to it, and that he'd rather stay with me and work on the set list some more. I wanted to scream, but I swallowed my anger towards Zac. I was going to have to talk to Josh eventually anyway, and now I was going to have to suck it up. On their way out, Jeremy turned and gave me a grin and thumbs up before walking up the stairs. What, so did everyone now know about the kiss? or was I just that obvious with how much I liked Josh?
"Josh, before you even say anything; I have a lot to apologize for, I know. I'm sorry for ignoring you."
"You're forgiven." He replied simply, and started adding more the the list.
"That's it?" I asked, shocked.
"Well...yeah." He answered, "Look, Hayley, you're obviously not into me. The kiss we had was a mistake, and its ok. I value our friendship, so I'm not mad about it."
"Wow." I sighed, "but Josh, you've got it all wrong. See once we got home, and all these girls were suddenly into you...I guess I just figured you'd see that you could finally do a lot better than me. You had better options, and I just didn't wanna stand in the way for you. You shouldn't feel like you had to be with me, just because we had one little kiss." One amazing, little kiss; but that was besides the point.
He snorted, "All of those girls can't even compare to you, Hayley. Since when has blonde bimbo ever been my type?"
I shrugged, suddenly wishing I never said anything about it. "I don't know exactly. You dated Jenna."
"Jenna wasn't a bimbo. She was just...okay, she was a bimbo." He laughed, "but she's the only bimbo I've ever dated. Wanna know what my type really is?"
"Sure?" I answered, slowly.
"My type is funny, smart, kind, pretty girls. Girls that love music just like I do. Girls I can trust not to hurt me. Girls that have always been there for me." He explained, "but to be more specific, my type is exactly like you. No, my type IS you."
I felt my heart skip beats, and I was sure if he kept saying all these sweet things; it'd surely leap out of my chest. Josh sure had an amazing way with words, and I was so blown away that I didn't really know how to respond. Heat rose to my face, and I knew it was completely obvious to him now how much I liked his words. I was surely blushing a darker shade of red then my hair even.
"I'm not very smart...remember all those times we used to skip classes together? I failed 9th grade math two years in a row. and well the rest, thats true I suppose...I'm no where near as pretty as all these other girls around here though. Surely, even you can't argue with me on that."
"I think it depends on personal taste," Josh contradicted, "and personally, you're the most gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, girl I've even seen."
I playfully shoved his arm, "Stop lying, jerk."
He laughed, "C'mon , Hayles. I'm being completely honest. I'll sit here and tell you how beautiful you are to me all night, if that's what it takes to believe me."
I shook my head, "You should've been a comedion, you know that? You're hysterical!"
"Hayley Nicole Williams, you happen to be the most gorgous human being on this planet. Angels are jealous of you. Your hair is the softest, and your eyes are so stunning that - "
I squeeled, cutting him off, as he playfully tried coming towards me making some weird kissy face. I laughed and shoved him away. I must have shoved a little harder then intended, and Josh fell off the couch and pulled me off with him. He landed back first, and I landed right on top of him. Our faces were inches away, and I was so close to him that I could observe every little freckle on his face. He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind me face, and leaned up. This kiss, as cheesy as it seemed at that moment, was even better then our first.
