Severed

by Eboni

When a premature separation experiment leaves Dilandau weak and disoriented, his Dragonslayers must protect him from himself and unexpected enemies from within the country they are sworn to protect. Warning: Shounen ai

29. Chapter 25

Author's Note: Ok, so here's another big chapter. It's 26 pages, so don't try to read it all in one sitting lol. Sorry about the delay. I meant to have it out sooner, but my laptop's hard drive decided to mutiny and I was without my baby for two weeks :(. I hope you guys like the chapter. It's one of the big climaxes in the story. Yeah, I know, stories are only supposed to have one climax, but bear with me, I'm eccentric lol.

Thanks forever to Cat who reads over this junk before I post it. Love ya!

Reviewer Responses:

Gadget 15: Hey girl. So glad you like the story, and as I told you in the e-mail I sent, feel free to ask me anything you want. I love e-mails and questions :). Take care and thanks for reviewing!

Jhaylin: Lol, a Valeska fan. I didn't think anyone was really going to like her, and it makes me smile whenever someone says that they do. Thanks a lot :). Thanks for reviewing, glad you're still enjoying the story and the face offs. Take care!

Pocketfirefairy: Oooh... begging and pleading is very flattering. I'll keep you in mind while I decide Dilandau's fate (imagine thunderous roars of wicked laughter and lightning. Muhahahahhaaa!) Blinks innocently So, anyways, take care. Teehee! Lol! Thanks for reviewing chic!

Ryo19:) I like being called original, though I doubt I quite deserve that, but thanks. It really means a lot! Take care and I hope to hear from you again.

Nikku: Hey friend. I keep forgetting to go to the bookstore and check for the new Battle Royale. It may be out already and I could be biting my nails reading it. Belated review, whatever lol! I never care when they get here; love them just the same ;). I'm glad you liked Guimel and Dallet's scenes. I find I really like using them. They amuse me and I have neglected them. I won't do so in the future ;). Aww...you didn't like poor Van until now? He's crying... maybe Dilandau will hold him. (Snorts: yeah right, lol!) Hehehe, I'm hoping I'm offending any Hitomi fans with my portrayals of her and how the other characters perceptions of her. Sigh...I just don't like her. Shakes head but I don't want it to show...too much ;). Dude, you pull things up from way back. Dilandau and Viole did bond more in Miguel's absence aboard the Vione. I forgot lol! Valeska's very glad you hate her. Makes her feel good, and makes me feel like I'm actually writing a decent bad guy for once. Geez...and I'm glad these action sequences are going over well. I think this is the first story I've ever written where I used so many and made them longer than a paragraph or two. Thank you so much for reading this story and mulling things over and coming up with such wonderful things to say that make me thing of things to improve and ways to grow. I hope you enjoy the new chapter and that school is going well. Take care!

Kitty99: Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you do! Take care!

Kou-Kagerou: Hey chic! Guimel's been living a healthy night-life, day-life, etc, lol. His bed's never cold and never empty. Folken fainting may have caused an interesting scene actually lol...you're making me regret he didn't, muhahahaha! Folken and Dilandau's argument was a long time coming. I was going to have Dilandau just slip out or be more subdued, but when I actually got to the part, Dilandau exploded. I just watched lol. I guess you're right, before he was always too tired and he chose to pick his battles. Folken knew best then... but now, he doesn't care. Ha! Note to self, need part with other soldiers teasing Van for being fruity. Maybe it will be in coming one-shot. I'm no big Merle fan either, so I'm glad the scene worked well for ya :). Hehehe, I think I'll have do something with Viole revealing a few stories about his sisters. His compassion didn't come from those heiffas lol! He has seven sisters and he refers to them as the Seven Deadly Sins, and he has unflattering nicknames for all of them. Yeah, I got too much time on my hands. Hahaha love your interpretation of the Dil/Valeska altercation. I like your better in fact! Thanks for reviewing, even when you don't have to because you've e-mailed your comments. I really appreciate all the advice you give that adds so much to this story. I hope you got home safely and keep working on that beautiful artwork, girl! Take care!

Squizles: Lol! Well I do feel honored :). Thank you. Yes, Viole and Dilandau are close, they have a lot in common :). Guimel is a ham, and I love working with him. I'm glad he brightened things up a bit for you. Dilandau is losing a lot of weight, mostly because he doesn't have much of an appetite anymore. Oooh... lack of Viole in stories is never good lol! I probably overuse him. No, no, it's impossible to bore me with a review ;) lol. Talk as much as you want, I love to read. I hope you enjoy the new chapter and thanks for reviewing. Take care!

Strangedream: Lol, I sometimes rush through stories too, to get to my favorite characters :). Glad you liked the Merle part. She's terra incognita for me, so thank you for letting me know you enjoyed it. Hehehehe... Unfortunately, Hitomi can't just be gone...sigh. I'm following the anime just enough to need her to help destroy the emperor's stupid destiny machine lol. Eh, your line of thought is the same line of thought I had during the anime watching Hitomi cry...over everything. Was there an episode where she didn't burst into tears? Sorry Hitomi fans, don't read this, disregard that, I have no malice toward Hitomi :). You know...you are very right, Dilandau can't die without exacting his revenge ;). And as for the Celena/Valeska conflict, you'll see :). I hope you enjoy the new chapter girl, and take care! Thanks for reviewing!

Macky: Hey. I put Merle in there just for you lol. I was writing it thinking, oh man...what if Macky doesn't like it? Lol, I'm glad you did. Oh man...Merle would so kill Guimel lol. Thanks for reviewing! Take care.

Omnipotent Pyro: You have one of the only pen names that doesn't make my spell check go nuts with the red squiggly lines! Lol! Thank you, thank you for complimenting the battle scenes. I told someone before, I've never really done them before until this story and I'm never very confident about them. Gasp... did you just refer to my words as "cheap"... I sound like a bad "horror flick?" Why... you... Wonderful person. Thank you. Lol! I'm flattered. I like cheap horror flicks, they're funny as heck to watch after midnight. I don't know if this chapter ends in much of a cliffhanger, but I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reviewing and take care!

Haruko: Ha! Someone else likes Dallet's ADHD POV. He was difficult to grasp, and I don't know if I'll ever do an extended scene in his voice, but it was different. I did enjoy it. Aww... sorry about the showdown between Dil and Val being so short. Maybe they'll have another face off that'll be longer in the future ;) ;) ;). Glad you liked the interaction. That may have been the hardest part of the chapter, because things are starting to get so depressing. My fault entirely (grins evilly lol!). Hehehe, I'm happy you liked Merle. I'm no big fan of hers or Hitomi's and I always feel bad, because it does show, and I don't want to turn anyone off. Just let me know when I overdo it :). Thank you so much for reviewing and take care! I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

Skippys Cat: Hey chic, I think everything in this review we have talked about over and over again and more lol. You're so much fun to talk to, and you give me so many ideas. If this story is finished this summer, it's because you pushed me. You always know just what to say to make me want to write more just so I can send it along to you for your approval. I know I said I would post this early Friday afternoon, but I ended up getting called into work this morning and I stayed until 11 pm. I work Saturday morning too, but just like I told you Thursday, I will be starting the new chapter. Thank you so much for being my beta and just being my buddy :). Love ya lots! Take care and I'll talk to you later and probably be e-mailing you lots of new things to look over in the near future lol.

---

Chapter 25

He was a robed journeyman, traveling over the vast desert of hardwood floors in search of...

Well, Dilandau didn't know what exactly he was in search of, but he was sure his dream self did. The map of the land was marked with many small tables covered in lace with fine china, vases or flowers as centerpieces. He skillfully avoided potted plants and other decorative trinkets in the darkness, letting him know that this journey was no novel experience... not for his dream self, anyway.

From the angle in which Dilandau was seeing the world, everything seemed so big and tall as it loomed over him, he was probably no more than 3 feet tall.

So he was in Celena again and that would make this a memory wouldn't it?– not a dream. Dilandau would like to think so. He wanted to believe he was remembering a true past that could give him an identity other than: Science Project Gone Horribly Wrong, or rather gone horribly right in the eyes of the Madoushi.

Celena had said Dilandau was her brother, and dammit, Dilandau believed her. Why would she claim something like him, if there was no truth in the statement? He had been a part of her life, before Zaibach interfered.

He'd had a family... Sort of.

Celena's little feet were bare, and the wood was cold under the soles of her feet, hurrying her steps. Where was she going?

He listened for her voice. She always spoke to herself or to him... Dilandau had long started assuming the person whom Celena addressed in these memories was himself, though he couldn't talk back to her... and he never heard any other responses from... well, his past self. Maybe he couldn't hear his own thoughts. Perhaps, Dilandau was displacing his younger image.

He didn't know, and he usually didn't care. It was trivial as his main objectives were to gather as many clues as he could about his and Celena's background and to... be near Mother.

The elegant woman that smelled of roses.

Celena didn't like to be held or kissed or tickled, but she had endured it... and Dilandau knew on some level it was for his benefit.

He liked it.

Where was Celena now? She stopped in front of a closed door, and her chubby little hand rose to turn the knob and push the door open. The room was heavy with shadow but the open window let in a soft wash of moonlight that fell upon the graceful form that laid like a wilted lily on a large bed, shielded by soft blankets. Careful feet plodded to the edge of the bed, tugging at the covers insistently.

"Momma." Celena's voice was soft and unsure, atypical for the bold and rather rude noises that usually flavored her speaking voice. Why did she sound so different?

Celena, where are you?

He still heard no voice, no thoughts... but he felt... in the distance, in the back of his mind, her presence. She was calm, at peace... she was asleep.

Dilandau had never entered her world while she was sleeping. How was she moving? The world around them was too clear for it to be one of her dreams. In fact, the environment was clearer than it had ever been for him. It was like... like he was seeing out of his own eyes, not hers. The second sight always made everything so fuzzy.

It was cold, the thin blanket he'd draped over himself to keep the monsters from nipping at him as he ran across the house didn't do as good of job at keeping the chill out. Monsters?

He blinked. Dilandau didn't believe in monsters; well at least not the black-eyed, long fanged ones his mind was suddenly conjuring up images of, and he'd certainly never believe a stupid blanket could keep those things away. The logic was all wrong, skewed and babyish like...a child's.

A child just leaving the stages of being a toddler and trying to establish himself as something more, but there were still monsters.

Dilandau chewed his lip. Could that have been him? Had he believed in monsters under the bed that nipped at dangling toes?

How silly of me.

"Momma!"

More insistent. He tried to crawl onto the bed, but it was just too high! The curses of being short! Dilandau could feel something building inside him, starting from his belly, expanding into his chest, and welling behind his eyes.

God goods, he was about to cry.

But then...

Soft hands clasped his wrists and he was pulled up onto the soft feather bed and deposited on his bottom with soft thump. Bloomers... how humiliating.

Tender fingers tickled his middle and he looked into the loving face of... Momma. Gods, he could see her! Even in the dark with only the moon to light her features, this was the best vision of her he'd ever had, and she was so beautiful.

Her hair was free of its eternal bun and fell in soft, pale curls around her angelic face. Her cheekbones were high, her chin was small, the mold of her face thin and angular at just the right proportion to keep it gentle and so regal. It was... He reached out to stroke her face, surprised at the hand that obeyed his wishes.

He couldn't control the memories, but this one, this time, he had...

And the hand that touched her, it was not Celena's.

The hand was slender and pale, the nails oval and gleaming from meticulous care. It was his hand, and hers, Momma's, had come to cover it, her smooth fingers caressing his. Gods... the shape of their hands... the way the nails were made... were the same.

Not like Celena's hands at all. Her hands were rough and grubby, the fingers stubby and manlike. Her nails had been chewed and ragged, and though Dilandau might have attributed all of that to the fact that she was a child... the shape of them was all wrong.

Even older, Celena's hands would not have matched Momma's like his did now. He frowned softly, gasping lightly as the pads of her thumb brushed his lower lip.

"Don't pout."

Dilandau blinked, staring at her. Momma was looking at him, directly at him. This had never happened before, but then he'd never manipulated the dreams before. Was he controlling Momma as well?

"No."

"I'm not?" he whispered. She'd heard his thought?

"Not at all." She'd heard his voice.

"I've been waiting for you."

---

Miguel bit his lip on a hiss of pain, holding still as Dr. Marie finished wrapping his ribcage. She patted his back lightly when she was done. "That too tight?"

Miguel shook his head negatively then grunted in both pain and surprise, when the doctor pulled the bandages tighter and bound them. He glared at her as she dimpled and instructed him to put his arms down.

"You just better hope you didn't crack one of those bad boys," Dr. Marie said, tapping his nose and running a hand through his hair. "Honestly, you kids and your awful tendencies to walk around half dead. Were you going to sleep on those ribs?"

Miguel shrugged, stretching cautiously and moaning at the stab of pain in his torso. Dr. Marie gave a heavy sigh, placing her elbows on the examining table, leaning on

them, and looking up at Miguel, she asked, "I don't suppose you'd want anything for the pain?"

"No."

"Didn't think so." Marie rolled her eyes. "What is it about you boys? Why do you punish yourselves? I mean, what is so intriguing about pain? When I experience it, I want it to stop, and I do things to avoid it."

"Are you talking about all of us, or just Lord Dilandau?" Miguel carefully slid off the table and collected his shirt that was draped over the back of Marie's chair. Good thing he'd worn a button up under his overcoat this time.

"All of you," Marie muttered, "but him especially. Stupid kid."

Miguel had to agree. Lord Dilandau's choices when it came to himself were usually a bit half-baked, but Miguel couldn't stop him... wouldn't stop him. Lord Dilandau needed to be assured that his men were still behind him, that he still had their support.

If they second guessed his judgment, Miguel hated to think about... how it would make him feel– gods, not what he'd do, but how it would hurt him.

"He's so..."

"... fragile," Marie finished for Miguel. "Dilandau likes to think he can't break, but he can and he will, if he doesn't stop being so stubborn. No, that's not the word." Marie stroked her chin as she scoured her vocabulary. "Proud– that's what I'm looking for. Boys and their pride, the source of gray hair and frustrated women everywhere."

"You've got gray hair?" Miguel asked absently as he buttoned his shirt. "Hadn't noticed."

Marie snorted, stopping his hands short of their task. "You missed some buttons." Miguel held still as the red head undid the buttons of his shirt and started over for him. He was too tired to care that he was old enough to dress himself properly and didn't need a woman's help.

He wanted to lie down and sleep until the war was over, and when he opened his eyes, everything would be as it was before. Lord Dilandau would be all right, and with that would come order to the chaos that had become Miguel's world as of late.

Lord Dilandau would be all right.

Folken said so. He'd said... he'd told them...

"Dr. Marie?"

"Hmm?" She finished with his shirt and straightened the cottony fabric.

"Did you know that Lord Dilandau had a sister? Did he tell you?" Why didn't he tell us? He let us go on about our pasts, smiling and nodding, living through us... or so we thought.

We thought... I thought we were his past, present and future. We were his family; he had no one else but us.

But that wasn't true.

It was never true.

Folken told them Lord Dilandau had a sister, a twin sister, and that they had to find her. She was here, in Astoria somewhere, and she was Lord Dilandau's last chance, his only hope as well as theirs. An hour after they'd returned from battle, an hour after Folken had taken Lord Dilandau away, the solemn man had come out to tell them they still had a shot.

The Dragonslayers' new mission was to find the girl, this Celena that undoubtedly shared the same blood type as Lord Dilandau and hopefully the same marrow.

Kami-sama, be the same!

Folken couldn't tell them what she looked like. No one, aside from Lord Dilandau, had ever seen her, but... Viole had taken Lord Dilandau's art book. Maybe he'd drawn her. There were so many pictures of houses and gardens, outlines of tall boys, men, but only one drawing of a woman, much too old to be Lord Dilandau's twin, but it was something to go on. They'd left yesterday.

Gatty had made Miguel stay behind to look after Lord Dilandau.

He'd probably seen the way Miguel had been favoring his right side. Stupid. His team needed all the manpower they could get to cover the land and Miguel just had to get himself damaged.

"Dilandau's never told me anything about himself. I get everything I need to know from Folken when he deems it necessary."

Marie's bitter voice reeled Miguel back into the realm of reality. He sympathized with the doctor, knowing the feeling.

"Lord Dilandau and Lord Folken have a lot in common."

"Yeah, they're both infuriating assholes."

Miguel bit his cheek on a laugh, but did nod his head in agreement. "Though, I wasn't quite thinking along those lines."

"What? More vulgar? Well, what can I say, the creative vocabulary of young boys is much different from my own. I imagine you've heard some quite interesting language down in the Boiler Room."

Miguel blushed. "What do you know about that?"

Marie snorted. "Pearce and I go down there on occasion."

Miguel stared incredulously. A woman in the Soldier's Get Away?– A woman and Pearce? "Oh, get over yourself. I've got to get out of this lab sometime, and it's not like Folken's asking me out on any..."

She trailed off, brushing imaginary lint from Miguel's shirt. "So, we were talking about Folken and Dilandau... What do you think they have in common?"

Miguel chuckled at how quickly the doctor changed the subject and decided to let it drop, an art he'd perfected over the past few weeks. He eased himself back onto the examining table, gasping slightly as his ribs protested the movement. "Shit..."

"I wish you'd let me give you something."

"Might make me drowsy. I'm on duty."

"Dilandau's not waking up anytime soon, Miguel. I saw to that; he needs the rest."

Miguel blinked. Marie had sedated Lord Dilandau? But she and Folken said they weren't going to give him anymore drugs...

"It was necessary, Miguel. He's... He needs his rest."

Miguel frowned, letting his lashes droop and shield his eyes for a moment because he didn't trust his current expression. Marie wasn't one to stutter; Lord Dilandau wasn't one to need sleep.

"Marie, what's going to happen? Say the guys find the sister, Celena, and bring her here, what's the procedure? Is it dangerous?"

Marie hummed lightly, resting her chin in her hands. "Not for the recipient, Miguel. The burden is on the donor, once we determine she's a match. Removing marrow is a surgical procedure; Dilandau would receive the infusion via IV."

Miguel almost sighed in relief, before the cynical voice in the back of his mind reminded him that there had to be a catch. Catches always accompanied good things. He waited for it.

"The preparation for the transplant is what worries me, and then there's the period after, where we wait to see if Dilandau's body accepts the new marrow." Marie sighed. "Dilandau's got a long fight ahead of him, but... he can win; I know he can, especially once he sees his sister. He's been anxious about being reunited with her again."

"How could he never tell us about her? You'd think after so long, and listening to us talk about our families, sisters and brothers, that maybe he'd contribute a little something. I mean, all this time I thought he didn't have anyone, but us."

Marie raised a single brow, a half smirk lighting her lips. "Well, Miguel, he only just found out about her too. Maybe he was trying to get used to the idea. Going from a blank slate to being someone with a history is a bit overwhelming. Especially when that past is veiled."

Miguel blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Miguel, the fact that he has a sister out there is all Dilandau knows. I don't think he remembers his past; I don't know that he can."

A chill crept up Miguel's spine and he tried not to shiver, as he'd just found a comfortable position that reduced the throb of his injury to a tolerable twinge. "What do you mean you don't know that he can? You think something's wrong with his head?"

Marie frowned, blowing a stray hair from her eyes. "I know someone's tampered with his head."

Tampered with his head? But how and why would anyone...?– Great good gods... "The Madoushi."

Marie's lips pressed into a hard, straight line.

"They were right. Viole and Shesta always tried to tell us they were doing horrible things to him when they took him away, and the rest of us teased them about it. We should have stopped them sooner."

Marie shook her head, staring at Miguel contemplatively. "Sooner wouldn't have helped anything, at least not according to what I know."

"But that last time, the time they screwed up and made him sick... You're telling me stopping them that time wouldn't have helped?" Miguel sat up straighter, trying to look threatening but failing as he winced in pain. Damn ribs.

Marie's lashes lowered, veiling her eyes. "No, I don't think so. I think what happened then needed to happen, though Folken disagrees with me."

"What did happen then, Marie?" Miguel pressed, squeezing his eyes at the stitch in his side and fighting the impulse to touch the area. "He came back so different, but more like himself than he had been in months. What did they do?"

"That's for Dilandau to tell you if he so chooses," Marie said softly. "I was only told for medical purposes."

"Medical purposes..." Miguel sighed, slouching a bit. He frowned at the doctor, watching her lean back in her chair and tilt her head over the rest. She wasn't going to tell him anymore about Lord Dilandau's condition, he deduced from her demeanor, so he decided to change tactics, or subjects.

"Did the Madoushi have Celena?"

Marie snorted, not sitting up or looking at Miguel. "You could say that, but only for a while, I guess. She vanished without a trace a few weeks before you boys left Zaibach."

"She escaped?"

"Folken assumes she was deployed, but we don't really know anything for real. Sorcerer files are confidential, and Folken was locked out of the system near the end of our stay."

"The Madoushi didn't trust Folken? But he was one of their own; they should have trusted him more than anyone..."

"Until he started to care about one of their... specimens, Miguel," Marie said simply. "Dilandau was under Folken's care, and the fact of the matter is the man cared too much. I know why now, you've always known why, but Sorcerers don't care about why."

"Bastards."

"My sentiments exactly," Marie smirked, leaning forward in her chair and touching her knees. Grinning at Miguel, "You're a hundred percent sure you don't want something to take the edge off the pain? You're gritting your teeth pretty hard."

Miguel rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I told you..."

"And I told you that kid is out. If I give you something and it makes you drowsy, you can take a nap, wake up, and Dilandau would still be asleep. Now stop playing tough guy and take a pill."

Marie was already standing and shuffling about her little lab, in search of pain numbing drugs.

Geez. Pushy woman. He wondered why she hadn't just thrown Folken down yet and had her way with him. Dr. Marie didn't seem like the kind of woman who'd wait very long for someone else to make the first move.

Miguel sighed loudly, running a hand through his hair and pondering how much a little nap could hurt. Perhaps, he'd bunk with Lord Dilandau. He hadn't minded the last time.

"Dr. Marie?"

"Hmm?" Marie was shaking a bottle curiously, as if analyzing the sound of its contents.

"Do you think they'll find anything?– the guys, I mean. Do you think they'll find her?"

Marie half turned, looking over one shoulder at Miguel as she set down the bottle she held and continued her search for the perfect analgesic on multiple shelves. She winked at him and smiled. "Are you kidding? You Dragonslayers are the most tenacious people I know, so with your boys on the job, I'm planning on having a Celena to test by nightfall."

Miguel had to chuckle at her optimism and he lightened a bit as some of it bled into him. She was right. Miguel's friends would never give up, and if Celena was to be found, they'd be the ones to do it.

And since Lord Dilandau wasn't ready to talk... maybe she would be.

She'd save Lord Dilandau and answer their questions.

Celena was starting to fit the description of an angel– But did Miguel believe in angels?

"Do you like shots, Miguel?"

"No."

---

He didn't know what she liked anymore. She didn't want fresh fruit; she didn't want raisin bread with jam; she didn't even like the juice he'd squeezed for her. Gods... she was as infuriating as he could remember her being!

"Just poke around in the kitchen, Celena, find your own breakfast." Allen threw his hands in the air in defeat, staring at the blond girl that wrinkled her nose at everything he had to offer, very reminiscent of the child she'd been.

Eerily reminiscent in fact.

The girl hadn't spoken one complete sentence since she'd arrived and gone directly to her room to find her bed. Her prattle was the annoying rant of a five-year-old that thought she was older– and she was!

His little sister, gone for years, now 15, sat before him as if she was still the near baby that was stolen from Allen and his mother, eating syrup sandwiches without crusts and licking her fingers.

"What's happened to you, Celena?" Allen asked quietly, sitting down across from her and taking her sticky hands to wipe them clean with a towel. Celena growled at him and snatched her hands back, wiping them on the dirty pants she had wandered in wearing.

"What are you talking about Len?" she demanded crossly, narrowing her eyes at him and folding her arms over her chest. Allen scowled back; he hadn't missed that look.

"Where have you been?"

"In the woods. Was waiting for some people, but I guess they lied. Shoulda known better than to trust those bald head people."

"Bald people?" Allen frowned. He didn't press her for information, knowing he'd only receive more nonsense. It seemed as if... if no time had passed for Celena since the day she left. Well, no time had passed in her mind, at least.

"You look old Len, and your hair got long. How'd you do that?" Celena crossed her eyes as she puzzled over him. "And where's Momma? I looked for her last night. Couldn't find no night clothes and my bed looked funny. Why's it so little?"

Allen stared. Had the girl not looked in a mirror?

Goddess... maybe she had hit her head on something; maybe she had a concussion and was suffering from brain damage. By all means, he should be rushing her to the castle to see a doctor, maybe that Zaibach woman that took care of Dilandau. She seemed pretty smart.

But... something made him wait; something made him wary. He'd keep Celena to himself for a while; perhaps she'd come around later.

"Um... Mother's gone on a trip. Do you remember the doctor urging her to go south? I talked her into it." Allen wracked his brain for an explanation and prayed she bought it. He didn't want to... disturb her anymore than she was.

Celena frowned, chewing her lower lip thoughtfully. "She must have took him with her then."

"Him?" Allen cleared the gooey plate from the table and rolled his eyes as Celena stretched to plop her thumb in a remaining puddle of syrup. She sucked the digit thoughtfully as Allen ran soap and water over the dish in the sink.

"Yeah, him. He's gone too, but that's ok. He was getting on my nerves, like you, but worse. Hey, we got milk? I looked and didn't see none."

Allen shut off the water and turned to stare at her. Milk. Yes...yes, Celena had drunk milk on the days she'd eat sugary deserts for dinner and syrupy sweet breads for breakfast.

No one in the house had cared for the white liquid but Celena on her odd days; the days when she seemed to be two children, one tolerable and the other a hell brat. It was only fair that on the day she returned, Allen should deal with Hell Brat.

"Celena, about your garments..."

"I like these pants just fine... don't know where they came from though. I'm not wearing no lacy, fluffy dresses with itchy sleeves and big bottoms!"

Allen's temper flared briefly, but he calmed himself with a deep breath. "Celena... no one's going to make you wear anything you don't want to, but you do need some new clothes. Those rags you're wearing now won't do. Maybe you could put on something of mine until we can go into town."

The horror... A woman in his family wearing pants like a man in public, but then again... Celena never did claim to be a woman. No one had to know who she was, not yet. With her stance and the short length of her hair, maybe she could pass for a boy. Allen could say she was one of the soldiers the army was training; she could pass for one of Dilandau's pretty men... hell...

Allen chuckled, she could pass for Dilandau himself with the right coverage. She was the right height and the carriage was the same.

She'd just have to keep her mouth closed.

"Len?"

"Yes Celena?" Allen shook himself; he'd been lost in thought.

"Something's wrong, isn't it?"

Allen blinked, caught totally off guard. The look on her smooth face was serious and for the first time, Allen had hope that maybe a teenage mind was emerging. "Yes, Celena, something's wrong."

"With me?"

Allen turned away from her, bowing his head and studying the clean plate in the sink. "Yes, Lena, with you."

"W...where's Momma?"

Allen shut his eyes. "I told you. She went on a trip..."

"She's dead, isn't she?"

Her tone was progressing; she no longer sounded like an obstinate child, but an inquiring adult.

She wouldn't be able to hear a nod, and Allen wasn't sure if she was watching him, so he whirled to face her again. "Yes."

"Is he dead too? Did I kill him?"

"Who is he, Celena?" Allen asked curiously, moving back to the table where she sat, staring at spot on the wall, but not seeing it.

"Where am I, Allen? Who am I?" Celena whispered, sticky fingers left trails on the table as her hands slid across it in standing.

Allen frowned, coming around the table to touch her. "You're home, Celena. Are you starting to remember where you've been and what happened to you?"

Relief coursed through his veins like a fine sedative. His sister wasn't damaged after all. "You can tell me. I want to help you."

"I'm all alone, Allen, and it's my fault."

Allen grunted as she pushed him away from her. "I got rid of him."

"Got rid of who, Celena? – and dammit, you're not alone. Would you stop talking in riddles. Look at me and tell me what you mean. I'm all set to get the bastards that have hurt you, but you have to tell me who they are!"

"I hurt me... I hurt him... and now I'm alone..." She pulled at her curls. "All alone..."

"Celena," Allen reached for her again, but she darted away, knocking over a few chairs in her abrupt departure. Shit. Allen gave chase; there was no way he was ever letting the girl out of his sight again.

He followed her out the front door, through the garden, out the gates, past the trees and into the family plot. Oh gods...the grave.

"Celena, no! You're not ready. Lets go back inside and talk. I've pushed you too hard, and I'm sorry. How about we read some? You always liked to read..."

"You're so old... I'm so tall... Momma's dead... Brother's gone... What's happened to me? What's happening?" Celena fell to her knees in the grass just short of Mother's headstone, clutching her head and lowering her face in the cool grass. Allen gasped, trying to catch his breath and gather his thoughts.

Celena was having a breakdown of some kind. Too much had been placed on her shoulders and Allen had panicked her. Stupid.

He should have been gentler. He shouldn't have told her about mother, but...she had known, hadn't she? He crept to her side, kneeling to place a hand on her trembling back. His poor little sister.

"Don't worry about a thing, Celena. I'm going to take care of you from now on. Brother's not dead. I'm right here."

Her trembling increased, the rate of it frightening Allen. "Celena? Are you ill? Celena?"

Allen cried out and fell back as Celena suddenly bolted upright. "Celena?" she asked, her voice strange and thick. She rose on shaky legs, turning to glower down at Allen through smoky lavender irises.

Lavender? – the hell?

Her pretty features were cold and cruel as her lips curled wickedly. "Where the hell is that bitch Celena? I have a score to settle with her and that shit Dilandau."

"Dilandau? What are you talking about, Celena?" Allen demanded, staring in horror. His sister was going insane.

"Celena...Celena, stop calling me 'Celena' and tell me where the bitch is! I'll kill her and her freakin' brother!"

"Celena..."

"Valeska! My name is Valeska!" Celena roared, stepping toward him and reaching for something at her side. "My sword? Where did it go? Where are my..." Celena stared at her body, frowning at her bare feet and syrup stained hands. "No... no... Where am I? The last time this happened..."

Valeska? Allen struggled to sit up, gasping in pain as he was rudely reminded of his battle injury. Shit!

"Jajuka!"

Ja– what?– who? "Celena..." Allen panted.

"JAJUKA GET YOUR ASS HERE!"

She's hallucinating, and gods her voice. She sounded exactly like who she was claiming to be when in that register. Allen had to get up and he didn't care if he snapped ribs in the process. Someone had to save Celena before she hurt herself.

"Lord Valeska!"

Allen jerked at the deep foreign voice that seemed to come from nowhere. The air above them rippled and a Zaibach Alseid pulsed before them. No, not here! Allen was unarmed; Scherazade was at the castle!

"Jajuka!" Celena cried, rushing toward the melef, nearly weeping in relief.

"Celena, stay away from it!" Allen shrieked. He hadn't known his voice could get that shrill. He staggered upright, his pounding feet overpowering the feel of his throbbing innards. "Gods, no Celena. I just got you back."

He wasn't fast enough. He stumbled to the ground as his sister willingly leapt into the hands of the enemy, glaring at him and shouting, "I am Lord Valeska get it right!"

Then she vanished.

Again.

But this time, not without a trace. Allen fought back nausea and tried hard not to think about how he'd probably compounded his injuries. Hopefully, he hadn't punctured a lung; it wouldn't do to pass out before he got back to the palace.

Celena had claimed to be Valeska, a merciless Zaibach warlord, and Allen could only think of two people who could tell him why.

---

Dilandau felt like the biggest baby, but he couldn't help wanting to be held. He snuggled in her arms, loving her warmth and marveling at the softness of her bosom. "My poor baby. You act as if you've never been held."

"Not properly," Dilandau said in a low voice, knowing Momma would hear him, "and never by a woman."

"You didn't know how to look for me."

"I didn't know you were here," Dilandau corrected her. He shifted in her arms, so that he could gaze upon her face; she smiled down on him. "How are you here? I... this... doesn't feel like a dream and it can't be a memory. Momma, what is this?"

She lowered her forehead to his, sweet scented lips touching his nose. "This is a visit, my darling. I wished to see you and I was told I could, but only when you wished to see me."

Dilandau frowned, brow furrowing. He pouted as she chuckled at him, using the pad of a graceful finger to smooth the lines he was creating in his forehead. "Don't do that dear, you'll wrinkle."

"I won't."

"You will, in accordance to your grandmother anyway." Momma rolled her eyes, lashes fluttering dramatically, and Dilandau snickered. "Oh, so you can smile, and I must tell you that you are the spitting image of your great grandmother when you do that."

"Grandmothers and great-grandmothers... I have...?"

"Mmhm..." She hummed pleasantly, "and I could tell you about each and every one of them if it would please you. You need to know your history, Dilandau."

"My history," Dilandau breathed. I have a history; one that doesn't involve labs or Madoushi, but... "Momma, how? I was... never real. I'm only a part of Celena, a figment maybe. I didn't become... real until Zaibach. How can you claim to know and love me, if I was never really part of your life?– not as a person anyway."

She laughed again, the girlish sound pleasing to his ears and he rested his head on her shoulder she spoke. "But you were always part of my life. I gave birth to you Dilandau, you and your sister, but the first body Kami-sama gave you was not strong enough for this world, so he placed you inside your strong sister to grow until it was time for you to be born again."

Dilandau's breath caught in his throat and he was sure his eyes were twice their usual size. "What do you mean when you say you gave birth to me?"

"Just what I said, you lived in my womb with your sister, but when it was time to come out, you weren't ready as she was."

"I was born?" Naturally, no labs involved?

Momma nodded, her features slack with sadness for a moment. "I clung to you until they tore you away from me. I thought if I just held you... held you like I'm holding you now, you'd open your eyes. A few minutes longer was all I asked, but... No one wanted to hear me; they said I should nurse Celena. She was crying... for you, I know. I held her as I wanted to hold you, and when she opened her eyes, two souls peered up at me."

I was born dead.

"I've been waiting for you for such a long time. I wish she would have told you to look for me, but maybe my Celena didn't know I was here either."

"I don't think she did. I... didn't even know she was here for a while," Dilandau admitted. "There's so much I don't know, and so much more that I can't remember. You can tell me though, can't you? You can tell me about myself and Celena."

"Is that what you'd like to hear about?"

Dilandau frowned lightly, running his hands over her cottony nightgown. Did he want to hear about himself and his wayward sister? Did he really want to hear anything at all?

He shook his head, turning his face into her shoulder and clutching her tightly as she rubbed his back and stroked his hair, humming and rocking him slow.

This was more than enough and he feared anymore would take her away from him. Dilandau held fast, pledging to never let go and he pitied the man that might try to

tear him away.

I could sleep forever, if it means never letting go.

---

"Nothing at all, Gatty. I've scanned the East thoroughly and even set down to put out a query, no strange girls," Shesta was reporting, his voice thoroughly drained and more than a little hoarse.

"Same with the North," Viole added.

Gatty nodded, pressing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, the tension headache that had built there from stress and lack of sleep was a step below distraction level. He was going to have to set down soon. Maybe he'd do another village round and find somewhere to rest for a while.

Exhaustion was devouring his body like a celebration feast. He'd gone nearly two days without sleep, and one of those days was spent preparing for and fighting a battle. Gatty was pretty sure in the old days he could have gone for longer, but... these weren't the old days, and if he was feeling the burn he knew the rest of his team were feeling it too. He could hear it in their voices.

But for Lord Dilandau, they'd fly on no reserves for weeks.

"I didn't get anything from the South or the Southeast," Dallet was saying. "It's like she doesn't exist, Gatty."

"Hell, she probably doesn't," Guimel grumbled. "Folken pulled this twin sister shit out of his ass. He's gone crazy, if you ask me."

"Guimel, Lord Dilandau is the one that asked..."

"Lord Dilandau was delirious!" Guimel exploded. "Gods, he's never said anything to us about a sister before, and don't you think he would have! Why the hell are we out here, Gatty? I've gone along with this for too long. I was willing to humor Folken for a while, but this is ridiculous. I'm ready to drop; we're all ready to freaking drop! Lord Dilandau's got nothing but Miguel looking out for him, and last time I saw Miguel, he wasn't looking too good himself. We need to go back to where we're needed."

"Guimel, this Celena person could be the one that saves Lord Dilandau," Shesta said, voice cracking as it rose in passion. "Are you really so eager to go back to the castle and watch him die, knowing that you could have been the one that brought back the difference?"

"Why do you people keep insisting that he's going to freaking die? No one said anything about that! Lord Dilandau will die when he's good and ready to, and he ain't ready! All of you guys are signing a death certificate that hasn't been published yet! And do you think he can't feel that? You know he can! You and Gatty should have learned something after yesterday; Lord Dilandau should have done more than deck you... and if you keep on spouting shit about this being his last chance, I swear I'll..."

"You'll what?" Shesta demanded. "You'll what, Guimel? You think I'm afraid of you?"

"Dammit all to hell! I'm going back to the castle! This is bullshit; I think you're all nuts, and I'm tired of wasting my time."

Gatty breathed deeply and counted to ten. It wouldn't do for him to lose his temper as Shesta had already lost his. "Guimel, we will do one more round, and then we'll return if we haven't found anything."

"One more round my ass!" Guimel sneered. "I'm out. Dally, you with me?"

"Dallet, hold you position. Guimel, if you leave..."

"If I leave what?" Gatty almost shivered at the ice in his comrade's tone.

"If you leave, you will be considered a deserter. I'm Captain when Lord Dilandau's not here, and I've given you orders. You disobey and you're through."

"Oh, so it's that easy for you to dismiss me, Gatty? We're back to being in Zaibach and pulling rank on your friends, huh?"

Gatty grimaced as the barb cut deep. "Don't bring our friendship into this, Guimel; this is about duty."

"It was never about freaking duty, Gatty, and you know it," Guimel said flatly. "I know where I'm needed. Miguel's not enough at the castle, and this is a waste of fuel."

The air was thick with tension and was set afire by the challenge. Gatty was in charge; he needed to assert his authority... but...

What was he in charge of? Guimel was right; this wasn't duty. It was friends saving friends. Gatty believed what he was doing was going to save a good friend, and maybe he'd assumed too much in thinking that all of them believed in the mission just as firmly.

"We're not going to find anything. I don't believe Folken; I don't believe Marie. Lord Dilandau would have told us before, and he didn't. I don't have a good feeling about this, and I don't feel my presence here will change anything. I'm going back. Miguel may need help, someone needs to talk to the cadets, and maybe there's something... that can be done in that stupid lab of Folken's. Maybe he missed something... something tangible."

Gatty shut his eyes as his vision doubled, and Guimel's line dropped out of the community frequency. He was leaving.

"Well that's just great," Shesta sighed. "Does anyone else feel that way? Dallet?– you don't want to follow him?"

"I understand where he's coming from, but if Guy's gone back, Lord Dilandau doesn't need another guard. I'll stay and I'll take Guimel's territories."

"Always covering for him, aren't you?" Shesta remarked scornfully. "When are you going to get bored of it, Dallet?"

Gatty didn't have to see the dark-haired boy to know that he was bristling. "Shut the hell up, Shesta! So someone doesn't agree with the group, it happens! Lord Dilandau encourages us to express our opinions, especially if they go against the majority! Guy's right; this whole thing is bullshit, but you got us out here cause we want to support you. But this thing can only go so far, and I'm tired. So you know what, Shes? I'm tired of covering for Guimel, so I won't. I'm out too."

"Ah no, wait Dal! Come on, you're cranky, Shesta's pissy–you know how he gets– don't leave mad!" Viole was saying. "Look, Gatty said we'd make one more circuit and go home. You can do one more circuit, and hey I'm close to Guimel's space, we can divide it between us."

"Damn, Vi, I don't know. This..."

"One more round, and then we'll call it quits. You were ready to do it before and do twice the work. Come on, we'll race– make it something kinda fun– and then we can go home and sleep for a week."

Gatty almost smiled at Viole's words and the pep he was somehow able to put into his voice. How did he do it? Gatty had seen the bags under Viole's eyes; the kid was as worn to the bone as Gatty, but he never sounded it.

Dallet actually chuckled. "I ain't racing you, Vi. You cheat."

"I don't cheat; you're just awed by my amazing skill."

"And your amazing ego," Dallet snorted. "Fine. I'll take half. Lets get this over with."

In private communication, Gatty tapped Viole's line. "Thanks."

"No problem, Leader Apparent. You ok? You were just gonna let Dallet go."

"My brain feels like its about to split in two," Gatty couldn't help but complain. "Viole, do you... do you think there's a sister? Because if you don't, we can just go home. Maybe Guimel's right and we're all being silly or just overzealous. I just want to help and I'll do anything, but have I gotten to the point of believing anything? I know people go nuts and start looking for major cures and what not when they're desperate... are we?"

Viole took a second to respond. "I don't know, Gatty, but I do know is if we don't look, we'll always wonder if we should have. It's not hurting anything... yet. One more round, and um... let me know if you need anything, ok? We need you, Gatty. Lord Dilandau's out, and Shesta's cracking."

That did not help his headache. "One more round," he breathed reclining in his piloting seat and massaging his temples. He disconnected from Viole and tapped into Shesta's line. "Shes?"

"Don't wanna talk right now Gatty."

"Just a question."

A slight cough, then, "What?"

"Do you believe it?"

"Not at all."

"Then why?" Gatty opened his eyes and leaned forward, anxious for Shesta's answer.

"Because I can't..." Shesta's voice broke and he coughed to clear his throat, "sit and watch."

Oh. Gatty blinked and frowned as Shesta ended their connection and blocked Gatty from his private line.

Am I the only one that thinks there may be something to this?– or am I the only one that's crazy?

Temporary Captain Gatty needed a painkiller and a strong sedative– no, he needed a drink.

---

It was an hour before Viole found anything. He circled the Northwestern outskirts, sighing at the peaceful wooded area and the small manors of minor nobles that chose to live outside the major cities. How long would places like these remain untouched by the destruction of war? Zaibach would bulldoze the area and make another factory or another laboratory using the captured Astorian citizens as specimens. He shuddered at the thought.

Choosing a place to hover, he sent out a tracing signal, hoping to pick up any stray blips of heat moving outside of a group. The girl would probably be traveling alone, if she was traveling at all...

Stop that. While he was still out here and looking, there was a girl. Viole could be dubious about the existence of Celena later.

He frowned. Just like the other places, all heat sources moving separately were within close radius of one another heat source or their home. Nothing unusual... except for that. Viole zeroed in on the dying energy signal of a melef... But it couldn't be an Astorian guymelef, the output was too sophisticated. It had to be an Alseid, an Alseid with no living pilot. No life signs were detected within the unit.

Viole bit his lip. Should he check it out? It wasn't really of his concern, if the pilot was dead, but... Curiosity killed the cat. He plugged into the community gateway. "Hey guys, found an enemy melef. Pilot is either dead or has abandoned the unit. Not detecting any life signs close by. I'm gonna check it out. Might give us some clues."

"Like what?" Dallet asked.

"I don't know..." Viole scratched his head, flinching at the oil dampening his fingers. Dear sweet Goddess, he needed a bath and a good hair washing. "Uh... well, Zaibach had the girl, and she wasn't here before, because Lord Dilandau didn't feel her... so she had to have come in somehow, huh?"

Hey, that sounded good even to him. If he wasn't so tired, he'd pat himself on the back. "Don't you dare move in alone, Viole. I see your location, and I can be there in a few. Wait for me."

Viole raised a brow. What was Shesta expecting him to run into, an army? Hmm... he chewed his thumbnail thoughtfully, it could possibly be a trap.

"Both of you wait, until the rest of us get there. Dallet, how far are you?" Gatty sounded like hell which was actually better than how Shesta had sounded. It was beyond time to go home.

"Not far," Dallet said. "I'm closer than Shesta. You're the farthest away, Gatty."

"Well you guys go in, and I'll get there when I do," Gatty sighed. "Be careful."

True to his word, Dallet was not far and Viole had company before he'd even prepared his landing functions. Shesta joined them a few moments later. They descended together, but Viole was the first to exit his unit. Oh gods... he stretched, placing a hand on his lower back to support it as it popped. He swayed a little as he straightened and had to catch hold of the leg of his melef before he fell.

He jumped at a hand touching his shoulder and he half-turned to face Shesta. The blond Slayer looked like death warmed over, pale and weary, blue eyes unusually bright. "You look like you need a nap worse that I do."

Shesta shot him a vaguely amused look. "You sure about that? I thought you were going to fall over for a moment there."

"I thought I was too," Viole admitted. "What's wrong with us? We used to eat this staying up for days straight crap for lunch."

"We burned ourselves out," Shesta sighed. Both turned at the sound of boots crunching heavily over crisp grass. Dallet appeared taking in both their appearances, his eyes lingering longest on Shesta.

"Sorry I snapped at you," he uttered with a yawn.

"Don't apologize; I snapped first. I'm sorry."

Viole smiled lightly at the exchange and wondered if things would flow so easily between Shesta, Gatty, and Guimel when they returned.

"Lets find this junk pile," Dallet said. "I scanned it again before I got out. There's nothing in there, nothing around it, and the unit's not even functional anymore. It took critical damage in a recent duel. Hopefully the data centers will be intact. I can take that and look at it when we get back to see if any plans are encoded."

"It's such a good thing that you're smart," Viole grinned. "I'd be here forever trying to figure out what I should do."

They found the crippled purple Alseid within a copse of trees, acting as a cage. How had such a large unit fallen within this circle without breaking branches and destroying the foliage? Viole frowned at the machine, standing back as Dallet and Shesta walked to its legs, staring.

"This is Valeska's Alseid," Shesta said.

"Didn't Lord Van say it disappeared?" Dallet asked.

"I think he did," Shesta said softly. "I wasn't really paying much attention to him. Think she's dead?"

Dallet shrugged. "Lets take a look."

Viole tried to make his legs move forward. His teammates wouldn't appreciate his standing around gawking at them instead of helping. Viole gasped as the forest seemed to rotate around him and his lashes fluttered.

He sat down quickly and put his head between his knees, praying that the vertigo would pass. Was he really that tired?

"Viole!" Shesta was kneeling in front of him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Viole assured him, raising his head and hesitantly opening his eyes. There was only one Shesta and he wasn't dancing from left to right. Better, much better. "Just felt a little weird for a moment."

"Have you eaten anything?"

A logical question, and it was probably the logical answer to what was wrong with Viole aside from extreme exhaustion. "I completely forgot."

There hadn't been time for a meal before they'd left the castle to go on Folken's search, but they each had a compartment stocked with protein bars and water to sustain them on long missions.

Shesta rolled his eyes and sat beside Viole. "I don't have anything on me, but when we get back to the units, I'm going to watch you eat something."

Viole hummed in agreement, resting his head on Shesta's thin shoulder. Poor Dallet always seemed to get stuck with all the hard work, but he never really seemed to mind. Dallet had vanished within the cockpit of Valeska's melef, undoubtably digging around in its guts.

Valeska's body couldn't have been inside or Dallet would have called them over. He shut his eyes briefly, listening to the sounds of the woods and Dallet banging around in the melef. He could have fallen asleep right there, if Shesta hadn't have chosen that moment to start coughing.

Viole's eyes snapped open and he sat up as his friend doubled over. He rested on hand on Shesta convulsing back and the other on his forehead. "Shes, you're hot."

"I'm fine," Shesta choked out, clearing his throat, but not sitting up completely.

"No, you're not," Viole frowned. "Why didn't you say anything? You should have gone back with Guimel or better yet, stayed with Miguel."

"I didn't feel this way before we left..." Shesta trailed off as he realized his mistake.

"Hah! You admit you feel like shit." A wave of smugness washed over Viole that was quickly replaced with concern at Shesta's silence. "Shes?"

"I don't want to go back, Viole."

"We can't stay out here forever," Viole said gently. "There are worse places."

"I can't think of many," Shesta uttered. "I just..." he shook his head. "Don't tell, Gatty. He and I had this talk, and he really, really needs me to be something I can't, and I told him I could, because I didn't realize I couldn't until... until he fell. Viole, this is it, it's happening... and I don't wanna be there."

Viole wrapped an arm around Shesta, letting him lean on him. Did this ever feel familiar. "Even if Lord Dilandau wanted you to be?"

"He doesn't. He doesn't want anyone to see..."

Viole was shaking his head, shushing Shesta gently. "That's not what he told me."

"What he told you? Lord Dilandau? He talked to you?" Shesta asked, straightening to stare at Viole in full, his eyes dark and desperate. "What did he say?"

Viole frowned. Maybe he shouldn't, but he was pretty sure Lord Dilandau would never work up the nerve to repeat himself. Viole wouldn't quote him verbatim, but, "He's scared shitless. He doesn't want to die, but he feels it. You know, sometimes your body tells you something's wrong, and Folken's got nothing else to try. He doesn't want tears or pity, but he decided... He decided he doesn't want to be alone when it happens. He asked me to be there, and you, all of us. He wants us to talk to him until he doesn't answer back."

Shesta blinked rapidly, the corners of his lips twitching, expression wavering from horror to despair. "Oh gods... V... gods... Wh...what am I supposed to say to that? What did you say to that? What did you tell him? You... told him we'd be there right, because, because that's what he'd want to hear, right?"

Viole shook his head, stomach churning as he saw the defeated look on his captain's pale face. "I couldn't guarantee him that. I don't know what the rest of you want to do; I don't know how you feel..."

"We talked..."

"Yeah, we did." Viole shrugged. "And I still don't know. I mean, I know how you feel now, but I don't know how you'll feel then. You won't know either, until it's time."

"So what did you tell him, Viole? He didn't seem... disturbed at all. Not like when Gatty and I..."

Viole sighed, covering his eyes with one hand. "I told him, I'd be there if no one else was, and I'd read to him until he fell asleep. He doesn't want to know when it happens. He doesn't want to prepare... so..."

"So?" Shesta breathed.

"So tonight I'll read to him, and tomorrow I'll read, and I'll keep reading until I'm not needed anymore. That's all," Viole said simply. "It's our agreement."

Shesta gasped. "And you could do that, knowing that one day you'll turn the page and look down and... gods, Viole! You promised to do that?"

"Someone had to be able to promise him something. It's the least I could do, since none of the rest of you can figure out anything. You're scaring him. He's afraid of death and he's afraid of us not knowing what to do with ourselves afterwards. It's not fair to him, Shes. Lord Dilandau shouldn't have to be so scared. We took so long coming out of Dryden's room, because he wouldn't let go of me. He had to be ready, I had to be ready, and neither of us wanted to be, but... There was just too much to think about. We joined you, we fought, he fell... I promised and when we get back... I still promised. So, even if you stay Shes, I gotta go back."

Shesta was frowning now, his hand resting on Viole's shoulder. Shesta was comforting him now? When had that started? Viole was the group teddy bear; teddy bears offered hugs not received them. But gods, did it ever feel good.

He rested in Shesta's embrace, drifting off and not realizing it. Gatty and Dallet's conjoined voices so close, startled him back into alertness. Viole opened his eyes to stare at Gatty and Dallet's folded legs and torsos at a horizontal angle. Hmm? It took him a second to figure out his head was in Shesta's lap and the gentle brush going through his dirty locks was Shesta's fingers.

"Sleeping Beauty's awake," Dallet chuckled lightly. He smirked at Viole, leaning forward to place his elbows on his knees and rest his head in his hands. "Can I take the next nap, Shes?"

"Not in my lap, my legs are going numb," Shesta said, voice going raspy for a moment before he stopped and started again. He poked at Viole lightly. "You've slept long enough. It's... it's time we get back. We've done enough."

Viole frowned, turning his Shesta's lap until he was on his back staring up at the unwell blond, searchingly. "You sure?"

Shesta nodded. "I'm sure."

"Damn well better be sure, or we're setting up camp here. And I'm not looking at this data until tomorrow morning, Gatty, got that?" Dallet was grumbling. "Bet Guy's already in bed."

Shesta and Gatty stiffened noticeably and Viole was tempted to shut his eyes again. Ai, he hoped Guimel was far away from the hangar when they returned; Viole didn't want to hear it. He was tired of being referee today.

Just tired.

But he wouldn't sleep when he got back, not right away.

A promise is a promise after all.

---

Folken puzzled over the pleased smile that graced Dilandau's lips as he slept and wondered what he was dreaming about. What in Dilandau's life had him smiling so much? Maybe he was having a fantasy of some kind.

The door to Dilandau's room opened and in strutted Marie, making a show of tossing her mane over her shoulders then reaching back to usher in rather dazed looking Miguel. The dark haired Slayer made his way to the unoccupied side of Dilandau's bed without even acknowledging Folken's presence with a glance in his direction.

"How's our little Endymion? Has he stirred at all?" Marie smiled at Folken, the soft fabric of her white tunic sliding across Folken's cheek as she came to lean over Dilandau. Folken sat perched at his bedside in an armchair, inhaling her scent. She always smelled so clean.

"Not once; he seems to be having pleasant dreams."

Marie chuckled. "Looks like it." She smoothed a few wayward strands of silver hair from Dilandau's forehead, letting her fingers rest there for a moment. "Are you going to keep sentinel for the entire duration of his sleep? He's going to be out for a while."

Folken frowned at her. "I'll stay until he wakes, unless there is something more important for me to do. Have you heard from the Slayers?"

Marie shook her head. "Nothing yet." Her green eyes fell upon Miguel, who'd kicked off his combat boots and stretched himself over Dilandau's bed, burying his face in a pillow. "Comfortable, Miguel?"

"Mmmph..."

Folken raised a brow.

"I drugged him up," Marie winked. "He may have cracked some ribs; we're hoping for only extensive bruising, but with the way he's been grinding his teeth, I think we've got a crack."

Folken winced. "He shouldn't sleep that way."

"I wrapped him up extra tight; he'll be fine if he doesn't thrash around."

Folken sighed, leaning forward to rest his head in his hands. "What are we doing, Marie?"

"Salvaging what's left," she said. Folken held his breath at the sound of a chair being dragged across the carpet and the feel of her little knee against his. "Mind if I keep you company, Folken? Dilandau and Miguel aren't being very gracious hosts."

Folken lifted his face and gazed at her studying the two boys on the bed in amusement. "How much you wanna bet Dilandau rolls over and snuggles Miguel like a stuffed toy? Look at his face... and can you imagine the look on Miguel's face when he awakes and finds himself in his leader's embrace."

"Marie, you have such strange thoughts," Folken said softly, shaking his head. If Folken hadn't seen the woman the other day and shared her grief, he would have thought she didn't have a care in the world. Marie was so good at masking pain, almost as good as the boys she chastised for doing so.

"Do you think we have a chance in hell?"

"There's always a chance in hell, Folken. That's why so many of us will be damned," Marie said cheekily.

Folken tried to keep his expression bland, but he couldn't keep the worry from soaking his voice. "Marie, there are things you still don't know, and there are so many factors in this case that just can't be solved."

Marie's jade eyes narrowed. "Now would be the time to tell me anything else you feel is important, Folken. You shouldn't keep things from me that concern my boys."

Her boys? But he supposed they were hers and much as they were his. "I just don't see how the extra information will help the situation. I've already been denied access, and for you to know, would just escalate matters..."

"Folken, what are you talking about? You're rambling nonsense." Marie was staring.

Folken sat back, shutting his eyes and wondering what he was getting himself into. Lack of sleep and too much stress was making him crazy. He needed to focus on a task; find some work to do... He hadn't looked over Dryden's new plans for...

"Folken, stop ignoring me!" Marie's voice was shrill. "If it won't help then it won't hurt, tell me what you've been keeping from me."

"It's not..."

There was slight knock on the door.

"Tell whoever it is to go away; I'm about to yell at you, and if you don't want to be embarrassed..."

"Marie leave it alone! I don't want to talk about it, because there is nothing I can do it! I can't force anyone to..."

The knock came again.

"Dammit, go away!" Marie yelled, momentarily forgetting about the two sleepers in the room.

There was soft murmuring outside the door, two voices, one low and calm– Pearce, and the other slowly rising in irritation that was giving way to anger.

"Who the hell is that?" Marie rose from her seat, scorching Folken with a glare that made him gulp.

Gods... he thought as she stalked away to find out who was at the door... what do I want to tell her? Obviously there was something his conscience wanted out in the open. He'd told Marie so much that he hadn't had to, about the separation, about Celena, about the Madoushi... but he'd never told her...

No, he'd never even mentioned it.

Marie didn't know what Celena's last name was. Folken didn't see the importance after the Knight Caeli had thrown him out of his office that day and refused other requests for blood samples Folken had approached him with after Allen had time to adjust to Dilandau's presence. All Marie would have done was get angry and challenge the man with information he didn't need to know, things that might hurt Dilandau if they got out. Dilandau was sensitive, matters of kinship were open wounds, and rejection from Allen would be salt poured generously over them and massaged in with a hot towel dowsed in alcohol.

No, there was no reason for anyone but Folken to know, especially if Allen would be of no help.

Why was he threatening that balance now... now that it was... Folken covered his mouth with a hand, maybe that was why. Maybe it was a last hope more tangible than locating Celena. Maybe he was hoping Marie would violate their contract and take Allen down by force.

He certainly could.

Maybe he should.

But if Allen proved not to be a suitable donor, those actions would be ruinous to any semblance of normalcy they had earned for themselves. The boys seemed brighter, despite the shadow of their leaders' illness hanging over their heads. Their lives held more promise in Astoria. Folken could secure futures for them of their own choosing. Marie and Pearce were living comfortably...

Folken had to put things in perspective and set things in place for the future. Dilandau would be doing the same, if his life wasn't the bargaining chip.

The gods were playing a game. They were above playing a gambling game with dice and cards, Dilandau was the trump card any could play to turn the tables on their opponent.

The question was... which god held him in their hand, and what did they hope to win?

The voices at the open door were loud. Marie was yelling, Pearce's voice was raising, and a man's voice... a familiar man's voice was shouting over the both of them. "I don't care what's going on in there, I'll talk to Folken, I'll talk to Dilandau, but by the gods, I am talking to one of them! I'll knock you both down if I have to!"

Dilandau stirred a bit, face twisting in a slight grimace of displeasure. He twitched, rolling over toward Miguel, body pondering the strange new feel of that side of the bed, his hand explored the surface to find Miguel's prone form. He sidled up to it, purring in his sleep and whispering something softly.

Folken frowned, he hadn't caught what Dilandau had said, though he'd leaned forward to hear it. He turned angry eyes to the door to see a red-faced Allen Schezar standing at odds with both Pearce and Marie who fenced the man in, keeping him out of the room.

"They have some very important information that I need them to disclose to me immediately!"

"Whatever it is can wait! If you haven't noticed, Dilandau is ill and Folken is taking care of him."

"It'll only take a few minutes! I need to know!"

Folken was at the door in two strides, pushing Marie and Pearce out of the doorway so that he could step out and pull the door closed. "You are disturbing the rest of my wards. What is it that you want?"

Allen's blue eyes narrowed dangerous, and for a moment Folken imagined they were garnet. "You know what I want."

Folken bit back an irritated growl. "I'll call you when I become psychic, Schezar. Leave, now, or you will take responsibility for my actions toward you."

"Folken?" Marie's voice was awed.

"What can you possibly do to me that is worse than what your people did to my sister? Zaibach took my sister and did something to her! She thinks she's a crazy warlord named Valeska, and..."

"Your sister?" Marie asked as Folken raised a brow.

Valeska?

Valeska was Adelphos's new toy. She had been Dilandau's replacement and Folken had been denied access to the Madoushi's files around her sudden appearance...

Of course.

How could he have been so stupid?

"She's Valeska," Folken murmured.

"Adelphos's new bitch..." Marie uttered. "What does she have to do with anything?"

"So you knew!" He gave Folken a rough shove that Folken was unprepared for. He slammed into the hard wood of the door with a loud crack.

"Shit Folken, I drugged them, not put them in comas!" Marie growled, pushing him out of the way and slipping into the room. "Get him away! Pearce, help him."

The door closed and Folken turned to glare back to Allen. Pearce stood just beside him, awaiting orders.

"What have you done to my sister, you bastard!" Allen demanded, face flaming with fury. "She came home today after 10 years and she ran away from me! She changed, her eyes went purple and she... she went back to Zaibach, claiming she was Lord Valeska."

"Lower your voice," Folken commanded, taking hold of Allen's arm with his metal hand, aware that he was going to leave bruises on Allen's pale flesh. He forcefully led the Knight away, toward his lab and Allen dug in his heels.

"I'm not going to that room with you!"

Folken released him, shoving him away hard. "Then we don't talk. I don't owe you anything."

"Like hell you don't! You..."

"I had nothing to do with your sister!" Folken yelled. "I know of her, but I don't know why I should feel obligated to help you... unless you know where she went and can tell me..."

"She went back to Zaibach! I don't know where they've taken her now, which is why I'm asking you! What's going on?– and how long have you had information on her?"

Folken stared at the man, wondering if this was his chance... Could he tell him the full truth and be believed? "I'll only talk to you in my lab. You are too loud."

"I will not go in that room."

"My quarters then," Folken relented.

"Fine."

---

"They experimented on Celena!" Allen couldn't control his outburst and bristled under Folken's glare. Allen sat in an armchair while Folken stood, pacing in front of his window, metal hand clenching and unclenching.

He's angry at me and I don't know why.

Allen was puzzled over that, if anyone had the right to be angry it was him. "So, these Zaibach men...sorcerers you call them, did evil things to Celena for years, made her crazy, made her into someone else. They kidnaped children and twisted them. How many little warlords out there destroying things in the name of Zaibach are someone's long lost little sibling? Who does Dilandau belong to? I know he has to be one of their experiments too. Do you even know? Did you even bother to find out? Could you be putting some poor family at ease?"

Folken turned his back to Allen, shoulders going tense as he leaned on the window pane. "Ninety percent of the children didn't survive their Fate Alterations, another six percent died shortly afterwards. Only the special ones lived... for awhile, until separation."

Allen's eyes widened as his heart leapt into his throat and his stomach plummeted into his bowels. "What? But..." Celena had lived... was he saying she was going to die? "What is separation? Will it kill Celena? Can we stop it?"

Only the special ones lived. Celena was special... but why?

"It's already been done. Celena won't die, not from the process."

His voice was so calm and it was infuriating Allen. How could he be so indifferent? These were children they were talking about; it was his sister! "What is separation? What made Celena special? Is it why they took her, or was she chosen at random?"

"I don't know why Celena was chosen, Allen. I don't even know if I understand why she survived."

"So it was all chance? My sister just happened to be lucky? She could have died just like the others?" Allen's hands were balled into angry fists. But Celena was special, she had to be. She couldn't have been random selection and she didn't survive by chance. There was something there, something Folken wasn't saying. "Well what do you think brought her through it? You must have some sort of theory!"

"Would it matter to you?"

Allen wanted to strangle the man, anything to make him act like he cared, like what they were speaking of was important. "Yes! Tell me everything you know! If I'm to fight them, I need every ounce of ammunition I can get!"

Folken chuckled humorlessly. "So much alike... always ready to fight, even when you don't understand."

Allen growled low in his throat. "Folken..."

"You assumed right, when you said Dilandau was part of the experiment... But which part? You asked of whom he belongs, and did I even bother to find out?"

Allen rocked back and forth in his chair, forcing himself to remain seated. You will not kill, Folken until he's done talking. You will not kill...

"Ever just look at him, Allen? Really look, I mean. Ever ponder his habits and find similarities to your own? Do your men ever point out similarities to you?"

"What is your point, Folken?"

"A Fate Alteration starts with a host and ends with the emergence of an alter ego. Host and Alter Ego share the body until they become unstable, and then they must be separated. Successful separations usually happen after the body has fully matured; it is disastrous to separate before then. The host may survive, but the other fails."

The other fails... Dilandau was ill and had been ill since his arrival, even before then, according to Van. "How do the Sorcerers know when the body becomes unstable?"

"The controlling persona's behavior becomes erratic, and they are a danger to themselves and others..."

Dilandau was a certifiable psychopath when Allen had met him, and now he wasn't. But if he was failing, then he had to be an alter ego. "So the Alter Egos are the ones in charge of the body, and the body molds to reflect the controller?"

"Yes."

"If Celena's been separated, why is Valeska still there?"

"Perhaps a second Alteration has been performed on her."

A second... "A second? So there was a first and she has an alter out there that..." Allen paused. Why had Folken chosen to bring Dilandau up when he did? He'd ignored Allen's initial question about the boy, and only brought it up later to discuss similarities... But Dilandau was a boy. There was no way he could have come from Celena. Celena always claimed to be a boy, she had wanted to be one, but she certainly was not. Was there a way...?"

"Folken, is it possible? Could they do it? Produce a boy from a girl?"

Folken moved away from the window, whirling to face Allen, the sunlight streaming from the window making it hard for Allen to discern the emotion in his eyes. "It had never been done before then, and hasn't been done again since."

"Dilandau is Celena's alter ego."

"More than that."

More? Allen frowned. "What do you mean...?"

"I've been watching you as I've always watched him. I've seen other successful Alterations and I've... And before I became Strategos, when I was a Sorcerer, I would see some of the initial hosts, I've seen their families..."

Allen started, blood boiling. Folken had allowed the mutilations...

"Some of the... the children... their families were native of Zaibach and they would provide for the Sorcerers, volunteering their children. Fate alteration was a chance at a better child to them. The ones that lived... none of the emerging egos looked so much like their host or mimicked anyone in the host's family."

"Did you see Celena?"

If he had, Allen was going to kill him.

"No," Folken shook his head. "I was gone before then."

Allen relaxed a bit. "So Dilandau's different?"

"Very much so. He was...is... the best they'd ever created, and they want to know why. They kept very close tabs on him, recalling him ever so often... and then he became unstable."

"And they were separated. How long ago?"

"Months," Folken said flatly.

"And they never found out what it was about Celena that made her... so valuable? How she could bring about something like Dilandau? What were the other Alter Egos like? Were they intelligent?"

Folken frowned. "Some weren't. Most were useless. Dilandau is the only one with a full mind of his own. There are stories, mysticism and folklore that some Zaibach scientist believe... Zaibach is home to science and magic and people trying to combine the two... but they talk of people born with two souls. The children that were stolen were randomly selected... but randomly selected from a specific group."

Allen stared. He didn't want to hear about fairytales, but if Folken thought the Sorcerers may have used such a ridiculous source to choose their victims, Allen needed to know.

"A lot of the children talked to themselves... imaginary friends and such, but there were a few that went beyond that. Those few were the ones that made it."

"Beyond imaginary friends? What does that mean?" Did Celena have imaginary friends? Allen shook his head. No, she never spoke of friends or seeing anyone outside of herself, but inside... Inside she said...

Inside she said she had a little brother who was just for her.

"There seemed to be something really there," Folken said with a frown. "Truly disturbed, I'd labeled them. There are psychological disorders I used to label them. Schizophrenia, Disassociative Identity Disorder, Split Personality... I do believe they did hear voices, and sometimes I would see them take on strange mannerisms that weren't the norm for them. But what was strange was that those strange manners were reflected in their Alter Ego..."

"But Celena did not have a psychological disorder as you say. She was not crazy."

"I never observed Celena, I told you. But they wouldn't have chosen her unless..."

"She wasn't crazy!" Allen argued. She just... she was a very creative child. She was... born a twin and the twin, the boy, died at birth. Mother had told her about him, Allen had teased her, so she made someone up to replace him.

When she'd come that morning... she'd been looking for him. Didn't she claim to have killed him?

Allen shuddered.

"When she was here, in my house... our house, she didn't remember things. She acted like she did before she left for a while. She was as I remembered her and different as well. I didn't know what she wanted for breakfast. She was such a weird little girl. Sometimes all she'd eat was meat and sugar. She was the most vile of brats and I couldn't stand her." He chuckled, feeling himself drifting bit as he reminisced, forgetting Folken's presence as he spoke to the younger man. "Gods, I thought I hated her sometimes... but then sometimes, she was different. She stayed near Mother and was such a picky eater I could have strangled her. Several of our cooks quit, we couldn't keep nannies and Mother would have to watch her, but Mother was ill and it used to make me so angry. Why couldn't she be normal?– and whenever she did something detestable, and I told her how horrible she was... she'd tell me she didn't like me. She wished..."

Allen shut his eyes, bringing his hand to cover them. "I said awful things to her. I didn't care how little she was. I just couldn't control my temper, but the things that would come out of her mouth... They were things five-year-olds shouldn't say. She told me once, she wished I was the one that was born dead. Then...then he could have had my body. He– her real brother, the twin I guess, the one she claimed was inside her that only she could talk to."

In the distance, Allen heard a gasp, but it didn't hinder his words.

"I told her she killed him. I told her she was greedy and ate up everything from him inside Mother, and he died. I told her Mother loved him best, because after they were born, it was him she held... but he was dead. Her face, her eyes... she wouldn't let go. Father, Father was actually there, and he took the baby from her; we had to make her hold Celena. She didn't want to at first, until she looked at her. She looked at her and smiled and started nursing like she'd forgotten about the other baby."

"Celena...Celena had screamed and screamed... and then she stopped, and then mother held her..."

Allen was shaking. "Father and I buried the baby. It's... he's in the family plot, but no one named him. He's just there... with a little blank headstone."

"And then we... forgot about it. It was for the best. Mother never asked about it. All of her attention went to Celena... she was never well after that, giving birth to two. Father left. I never expected him to stay, the bastard never stayed long."

"I helped Mother. I was ten, but I tried. I liked her best when she was the other child. I actually started labeling her as two... one was a brat, but a tolerable brat, and the other was hell on Gaea. I told Mother to spank the nonsense out of her, but she wouldn't. The nannies tried, but Celena could be so smart– tolerable brat was smart, hell brat was just mean. Sometimes they worked together."

Something was speaking to him, someone... He felt something touch him and he grabbed it, latching onto reality through the contact. He blinked and found himself staring up at Folken.

The man looked strange, his normally expressionless eyes were dark with confusion, and slowly dawning realization. "Allen," he breathed. "Allen, I know why."

Allen had to close his eyes, the room was spinning. What had Folken done to him, how had he gotten so lost in himself? He tried to never think of his past. He hated it. It symbolized his failure. Allen hadn't protected his mother, he hadn't protected his sister, his Father had abandoned him... And now, now he was Knight to what?– to make himself seem better than he was.

To forget who he was.

Then why did he keep going back to Schezar manor? Why didn't he sell it? Then he never would have seen her again.

"Allen, I know why."

"You know why, what?"

"I know why Celena was special," Folken was squeezing his shoulder, cinnamon eyes boring into his.

He didn't sell it... he kept going back... he saw her again...

Why?

"Tell me why."

I don't want to forget. I never did. One can't become better by losing one's reason for doing so. He had to reminded or he'd lose his focus.

Allen had to know why.

"Celena is a twin, a twin who's multiple didn't gain consciousness in his rightful place."

Allen stared.

"She was two people, Allen... and the Sorcerers gave the second a body. It's why he's lasted so long...it has to be..." Folken was no longer speaking to Allen as he seemed to gaze right through him. "He was always his own person... with nowhere to go."

She'd said she was waiting in the woods for bald-headed people... She was waiting and said they would rid her of him, he was bothering her like Allen was.

But what Folken was suggested was preposterous. Dilandau was a science experiment created from his sister...

A wildly successful experiment.

The children that made it were crazy...

But Celena wasn't crazy, she wasn't like them, she just thought...

"What are you trying to say to me, Folken? You think Celena is special because she had a twin brother that died?– and she pretended to hear him? Because she seemed like two different children sometimes and this morning...this morning she was only one child, and she said that he was gone..."

Folken blinked, his eyes studying Allen again. What was so interesting? Allen wondered what he looked like at the moment? Did he look crazy? He felt crazy. Allen ran shaky hands through his hair, breaking eye contact with Folken.

The man was about to tell him something insane, that only the insane would believe, but Allen was going crazy anyway...

"Dilandau is Celena's twin."

"No." Allen shook his head.

"Look at him, Allen, just go in and really look at him. Tell me you don't see it, after you do! Ask your men, ask them and come back and tell me they didn't say he acts like you!"

"They already say he reminds them of me! I don't know why! He doesn't! And look at him? What am I looking for, Folken? I look at him all the time!"

"Look for what you don't want to see..." Folken hissed in his face. "Take the blinders from your eyes, forget that you don't like him... and watch him, watch what's left of him, and tell me you don't see what I do."

"What do you see, Folken?" Allen demanded.

"I see someone who would be your brother."

---

Guimel trudged up the stairs, letting out a breath of joy as he reached the Slayer corridor. He could smell his bed, smell the room service he was going to order... His mouth watered along with his eyes and he wiped at them both. He'd pay a visit to Lord Dilandau and Miguel first, make sure they were all right.

It was what he'd come for after all. Bed and food were second prizes to him. Screw Gatty, screw Shesta, and anyone else who'd damn him for not chasing figments. Guimel believed in what he could see, and he could see Lord Dilandau.

He reached Lord Dilandau's door and prepared to knock when Allen Schezar slammed out of Folken's room. He stalked angrily past Guimel, not looking at him and Guimel blinked at the rage in his countenance.

The fire in his eyes rivaled Lord Dilandau's...

If only they were red.

He chuckled to himself, knowing Allen would not appreciate the comment. Schezar's own crew made similar assessments, earning the knight's ire, but hell... the guy should be honored.It's not everyday one gets compared to a great guy.

One day, he'll realize it.

Hm– Guimel knocked on Lord Dilandau's door softly– and on that same day one of the hell's would probably freeze over.

---

Author's Note: So what's the verdict? Like it? Hate it? Don't care either way? Either way, let me know; please review!

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