Chapter 17

Rosalie's POV

The kiss was better than what I imagined. It brought me to Cloud Nine. No words could describe how I feel. It was a hundred percent better than kissing Emmett. His kisses were just pure of lust, urgency and plain want. Bella's was loving, passionate, and slow and it came out as she needed to kiss me. This is like the best Kodak moment for me. I haven't felt this way before. This makes me feel so alive. It makes me believe that I have a heart and a soul. Right now, I could care less about the world. All that mattered was Bella.

Bella. How can she make me feel this way? She is just plain lovable. It's difficult to find things to hate about her. All I can find are things to love. Speaking of love, do I love Bella? Am I falling in love with her? Am I even ready? Just some time ago, the person who I thought would never leave me, left me for another woman. Could I actually give someone else my trust? Bella would never leave me, right? She would never hurt me intentionally. She never let me down. She always cared. Even when I was still a bitch to her. How can I even explain the fact that I feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach when I just think of her?

Oh. My. Dawg. I do love her.

Bella's POV

Mmmmm..... What am I doing? Why am I enjoying this? Is this even correct? It can't be. This has to be incorrect. She's a girl from crying out loud but society has been accepting and nothing is wrong with this, right? But.... Just a few weeks ago, he left me even after promising me before that he would never leave me. The worst part was that he left me for Jasper. How could I ever trust again? How could I even do this right now?

Although, Rose understands what I'm going through. Maybe she's just longing for a kiss since she has always been the most sexual among us. Yeah. I'll go with that. Besides, how can Rose even like me? Why do I even care? I need to stop this right now.

I broke free. She looked shocked, hurt and nervous. What can I say? She was about to speak when I walked away. Yes, I am a jerk but I feel so scared and confused. I don't even know how I can talk to Rose again or even show this petty face of mine.

I am a jerk, a coward or simply a nobody. I need someone to talk to. I'd usually go to Alice but she'd bombard me with questions. How about Travis? He seems okay. I'll go find him. I walked to the closest boutique for men and I saw him there, browsing through the clothes.

"Travis!" I greeted. He diverted his attention to me.

"Bella?" he said as he smiled.

"Are you busy?" I asked.

"Not really. I just finished with some stuff." He said. I suddenly noticed the bags he was carrying and if I said that they were many, well, that would be an understatement. What the?

"Do I want to know?" I asked him.

"Knowing that you're a person that doesn't express in shopping, no." He said with a chuckle.

"Let's go with that. Can we talk? I need to ask you something." I told him. He nodded. He led me to a bench and we sat there. He looked at me expectantly. I sighed.

"You see..... uh...... Rose and I..... uh..... kissed." I mumbled and he grinned.

"That is sooooo HOT!! How was it?" he asked eagerly.

"You are such a perv! That's not helping..." I told him.

He looked partly ashamed and partly amused. Boys will be boys I guess.

"I am sorry for my rash behaviour then. What's the problem then? Is there anything wrong with kissing her?" he asked.

"Nothing. That's my problem. I think it's not right but it feels right." I exclaimed.

"What makes you think it's incorrect?" he asked professionally. Wow. He sounds like a doctor.

"I don't know. Edward just left me. I should be moping not kissing her and liking it." I almost shouted.

"You see, it is not necessarily incorrect. It depends on how a person perceives it to be. If I were to give my opinion, I'd say you're over Edward." He told me and I frowned. I am so not over him.

"I am not." I said stubbornly.

"That's what you call denial. You had no problems saying his name just a minute ago. You didn't wince. Do not bask in the past. Move on."

That actually makes sense. I should forget about Edward because he has obviously forgotten about me. Travis is right.

"But... Why would Rose kiss me?" I asked.

"I can't answer that question, Bella. Why are you here? I was kinda expecting that you'd still be with her right now." He replied.

"I walked away."

"YOU WHAT?!" he shouted which attracted people's attention.

"Hush..... I walked away, okay? I was scared and confused. I had no idea what to do." I replied.

"If I were you, I'd go to Rosalie right now and talk to her. You should hear her out and in return, tell her how you feel about it." He told me sincerely. Travis is actually awesome.

"Thanks, Travis. I'll look for her."

"No problem! Atta girl! I'll see you." He said with a smile.

I smiled back and nodded. I need to find Rose. I have to talk to her. I had to apologize but where do I find her? I left the store and looked out for Rosalie. Unfortunately, it was rather difficult to find her. Where could she be? Maybe in the women's section. I am stupid. Of course she would be there. Suddenly, my phone rang.

I used to be love drunk

But now I'm hungover

I love you forever

Forever is over

(A/N: Love drunk by Boys Like Girls. BTW, I do now own it.)

Rosalie. I picked up.

"Bella?" she said. Her voice was uncertain, almost scared. I hated myself for doing that.

"Rose, I'm sorry." I apologized.

"It's alright." She said sincerely.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"Turn around."

"What?"

"Turn around."

I complied and turned around to see her. She turned off her phone and she placed it in her pocket. I did the same to mine.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"I know." She said with a small smile.

"I was scared." I explained.

"Scared of what?" she asked curiously as she took three steps towards me.

"Of everything. Of what others would think. That you were just playing with me. That I would get my heart broken again." I told her honestly. She sighed.

"What has Edward done to your self-confidence?" she mumbled. "Bella, I would never do that to you."

"I know." I whispered.

"I need to tell you something important." She said nervously.

"Yes?"

"I....."

"I?"

"I... uh....."

"You what?

"I love you. I think- no, I'm in love with you. I don't know how to explain this. I just do. Love doesn't need explanations. I just love you." She said sincerely.

Wait. Rosalie loves me? Rosalie Lillian Hale is in love with me? This has to be a joke since I am so average while she's so Rose.

Love? She can't possibly love me, right? I'm not worth it. I glanced at Rose. She looked so nervous, sincere and loving. Okay. She might love me but the question is do I love her back? Sure, I've felt attraction towards her before but who wouldn't? She's beautiful, smart and everything I'm not. But can I actually call that attraction love? How do I define love anyway? This is just so confusing.

Rosalie has always been here for me. Since the moment I became a vampire. She protected my little Renesmee. She cares for me. Hell, now she even loves me!

But despite those facts, do I love her? Could I ever love again? Can I ever forget Edward? Well, that's a huge no. I shared a lot of firsts with him and the fact that he was my first love would be the top of that list of firsts but it doesn't mean he has to be my only love, right? Rose has moved on. Edward.... Jasper.... Emmett..... They all have. Maybe I really should move on just like what Travis said.

Suddenly, Rose cleared her throat. I was snapped out of my reverie. I looked at Rose and saw something that I haven't seen before.

Light.

Hope.

And the last one gave me the answers to my questions.

A/N: Well, that's it. School is still being the biggest jerk ever. Anyway, how did you find this chapter? Feel free to tell me.

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