A/N: Hey guys, I'm back! Even though I didn't really think I would be. Reviews plz? I need every single ounce of inspiration I can get from you so that I can finally just finish this story and take the characters where they want to go. Sorry about any errors. This was a very impromptu thing and alas, I'm too lazy to get it checked over before I post it. Aurevoir, my dears.

I've got too many pieces
wasting away
Getting cold
I don't know how to follow
I don't think I should steer
I'm asleep at the wheel now
I don't know where I am
Or why I'm here
But I'll keep running around
Until you see me
- Holly C

Chapter Twenty-Two:

The room had never felt so square. She was caged in by her own desires and mistakes. The one moment in time that Blair had to face at an even keel and the walls were closing in, her blood raged and her heart thumped and she was alive. She was alive.

Henry and Tula were sitting on the carpet and staring up at their parents.

Neither adult knew how to navigate this world they found themselves in. The silence was heavy and obvious. A stranger they had welcomed unknowingly into their lives.

Mark spoke first, his mouth unhinged with a gingerly sigh.

"Your mother and I love you both very much and our separation has nothing to do with either of you."

Blair crossed her ankles and uncrossed them again. She brushed hair behind her ears and awkwardly let her hands fall back into her lap. It was hard to swallow and to remember how to breathe.

The children said nothing in response. She wondered if this was necessary, if speaking to them so casually would be any better.

Mark nudged her. She didn't know what to do or how to speak or what to say but the words found her, slightly dry around the edges, as if they had crawled up from some dark space inside.

"Although Daddy and I aren't going to be living together anymore, we love each other and we love you. That will never change, ever."

Henry, who had been picking at his shoelaces, looked up at the ceiling and back to the floor. "Are you getting a divorce? Because Sammy's parents got one of those last year and now he has two everythings' in two different places and he only sometimes sees his dad."

Blair and Mark were slightly taken aback by the word. They had refused to give it weight or a timeline but there it was, a square explanation in a square room.

"... Yes, but I'll always be around buddy. I will always be your father, no matter what."

He glanced at his wife as the twins climbed into his arms. The shock of everything seemed to be swimming in pools of grey. There was little definition or place to the words and actions.

"You're leaving?" Tula had started to cry, small tears rolling down her cheeks.

What they needed was an explanation, something to cover every corner perfectly with no space for unknowns but life was so unpredictable, the English language wasn't large enough. There were emotions that could barely contain themselves and situations without a base.

Blair felt as if she were simply watching herself from another vantage point. Her milky skin and short hair, the tweed skirt and black heels, ankles crossed and then uncrossed, as sure of herself as she was of the weather and of all the seconds that had stitched together to build up the present.

Her children pulled her by the shoulder into the awkward embrace and in some small way, she felt as though she wasn't wasting away any longer. The four of them were so squished together on the couch that she thought if there could be a flicker of silence, the hum of their hearts would synchronize. And she was grateful for this moment, even though she would never know what to do with it.

To her surprise, Mark didn't resist the tiny space between them. He merely bent into her smell and tried to breath quietly as the two kids curled up in the middle. This was something they couldn't fight and for whatever else had happened, this would alway remain between them. The bits and pieces of comfort and love that they would forever owe one another.

Why?

There were so many possible answers to one question that connected and disconnected at different synapses. There was no simple word or thought that she could bring to light, no matter how mature her children were for their age.

"Sometimes, people grow apart and sometimes too, things need to be different. This will be a change but dad will always be your dad and I will always be your mom and we will always love you to bits and pieces, a lot more than you know."

"Always," Mark echoed, kissing them each on the forehead. "If you're angry or sad, we understand but we want you guys to remember that."

Tula and Henry went quiet and nuzzled further into the corners of their parents elbows and hips. It reminded Blair of so many afternoons they would spend in exactly this way. The twins had been three years old then and just as rambunctious but there were always the silent hours when they would find their parents and bring them together.

And in that second she believed that her children had brought her to someone that she would always need in her life. Mark had been a man who could have easily slipped through the cracks and for all that it was worth, she was full to the edges with happiness that he had been her best friend all these years.

It struck her without a sound, the sadness of it all. They had finally separated but not without grief and misery and still, not without the joy and love. The four were always equal in length and measure. She had so much of her own explaining to do and she would never make it up to anyone but in the desolation of one relationship, she could only hope for the strengths of a new perspective.

In a square room on a rainy day, Blair and Mark Hutlen explained themselves to their children and began the long and dusty journey to a new kind of co-operation that seemed calmer somehow as the kids fell asleep in both of their arms.

She didn't know how to follow the idea of a woman undefined but she had done it before and would surely do it again. All in time.