Challenge: The Boggart Challenge for Taragh McCarthy

Prompt: Nymphadora Tonks

Rating: K+ (One teensy, eensy word. And bunnies. Lots and lots of evil bunnies)

Summary: *WARNING* Not for the faint of heart: contains evil seducing bunnies.

A/N: Fun randomness! Dedicated to one of my friends, and a bunny-hater, Kenny. Who as he says : "a bunny that seduces people." Yep, he got the gist of it. He wasn't much of a help, but he was there to "support" so... I tried to make this light...I hope it worked... I'm delusional. I've lost it...bunnies...

Due: August 15

…

Rabbits were just plain evil.

There was just no way around that single common truth. Whether they were small, fluffy little bunny-devils in disguise, or full-grown, fat rabid beasts, they could strike fear into the fiercest of hearts. With their suspiciously long ears-all floppy and folded over- you would think that You-Know-Who would have been smart enough to use these dangerous creatures as little weapons. They could be easily used to smuggle illegal items in the Ministry by their impossibly large ears and fluffy cuteness.

That wasn't the worst though.

They could charm anyone with their apparent "cuteness factor". With their fat bodies all covered in fluff, no one can resist the "hug". The moment you scoop them up though, they will attack you! Using their beady little black eyes as a distraction as an unsuspecting person strokes them, they open their pink mouths and everyone awws at the apparent "cute sleepiness." But you know the truth; the moment no one pays attention, the little Death Eaters-in-training sink their razor sharp incisors into your neck. Of course, no one notices, they just think you've lost yourself for a few moments, cooing at the little thing as it once again sets innocent eyes upon you. Plain evil.

The eyes, the fluffy fur,and even the cursed, long ears, don't come close to the worst of a bunny's magical charm though. No, the worst was that little, twitching black or pink nose and the waving, cotton-ball tail. When the eyes and fluff-ball fur fail to seduce the unfortunate victim, the rabbit pulls out all the stops, hopping forward cutely, eyes wide, and ears all floppy. Then they would twitch their little nose, sniffing delicately, and wave their damn cotton-ball tails like a dog, hopping up next to the victim;the poor person just can't help but scoop them up, giving the rabbits free rein to bite like a vampire!

Many of these "bunny-haters"-as they were called- clung to the far-fetched (as many non-haters believed) idea that these bunnies and rabbits would one day produce in mass quantities, using their undeniable cuteness factor to take over the Muggle world (because obviously Muggles are more susceptible to the charm) and then head over and hop on to the Wizarding world. One of these adamant believers just happened to be half-blood, young Auror, Metamorohmagus extraordinaire: Nymphadora Tonks.

…

Ever since that one innocent trip into the stereotypical, grassy meadow where poor 'Dora bore witness to the horrifying scene of a small, fuzzy little bunny hopping up to an innocent looking snake as it slithered through the grass and proceeding to eat it whole, she had never been able to look at the little beasts the same again. That one trip had mentally scarred the poor girl for life, setting her up for a life full of horrors.

At the age of eleven, Tonks had been skipping happily through the menagerie, peering innocently at swelling frogs, skipping toads, and a peculiar tortoise with emeralds decorated its back, when she got to the cages in the back. A whole aisle was filled with cage, upon cage, upon cage, of fluffy little animals with beady eyes, twitching noses, and large floppy ears. The terrified girl needed no more incentive, clinging to a bag of rabbit feed and screaming her bloody head off, sending all employees running as she sunk to the floor, unable to move from fear of being eaten alive by the fluffy devils.

Needless to say, Ted Tonks never took the hysterical girl near any fluffy animal again.

…

When little Teddy Lupin was born, the whole family was in an uproar. After all, he was the child of a werewolf. The new grandmother became terrified, unable to comprehend what could happen if her little Teddy grew up to be a werewolf as well. Yet, after a week of fretting and standing over his crib and chewing her fingernails to the nub, Andromeda finally sighed and declared that her adorable, blue-haired grandson was not a werewolf after all, but a perfectly normal human being.

Of course, just to mess with her satisfied daughter (she was a Black after all), Andy decided that, for Teddy's "One-month Anniversary" into the real world, she would present her darling "Teddy-bear" with a stuffed rabbit. Not just those minuscule ones that a Muggle called a "toy," but one of those giant plus-sized ones that were a good foot taller than little Teddy. And if that wasn't enough, the giant toy had to have a twitching nose, moving eyes, ears and tail as well.

When Tonks had opened the ginormous, ostentatiously gold-wrapped box and peered inside, she had received the shock of her life, falling back, hand fluttering to her pale forehead as the toy's nose twitched, and ears flopped. When Little Teddy flew at the animal, hugging its fluffy fur and playing with its floppy ears, she fainted.

Andy had just grinned, walking leisurely back into the kitchen in search of a wet towel to revive her pale daughter, leaving her grandson to enjoy the gift while it lasted. As she slowly moved the towel back and forth over Dora's pale forehead, Teddy sat, shakily, pulling the rabbit down forcefully. Slowly, Andy watched it fall, the bunny falling on top of her grandson, completely burying him in a mass of fur. The toy was easily two times his size, so she hurriedly pulled the rabbit up, smiling gently at Teddy's gurgling laughter. As she sat and played with his little hands, her daughter slowly started to awaken once again, eyes glazed, incredibly confused. The moment she saw the large bunny propped against the wall, Tonks fell back again, hand to her forehead, eyes staring at the ceiling.

It was no surprise to Andy or Remus that the moment Teddy got tired of playing with the bunny and graduated to coloring books and pulling heads off barbies, the rabbit mysteriously disappeared. Remus couldn't care less, he ate bunnies and rabbits for dinner all the time.

…

Even though the mentally scarring menagerie and horrifying toy bunny incident were both truly heart attack worthy events, the absolute worst, and most terrifying encounter had to be on a routine trip around the Ministry. Tonks had been walking into an empty, unused Ministry courtroom, not looking back to see if her partners-in-protection were behind her. Pretty standard. Kingsley and Remus followed, not really paying attention as they did routine inspections of the building. As the trio turned to leave for their next destination, Tonks sidestepped to the side, running into a rickety chair, sending it over, and letting it crash down to the floor with a loud, echoing bang in the otherwise, silent courtroom. The one chair set off a domino affect, the long row of otherwise, silent, chairs falling over, startling them all. All three Aurors jumped in surprise, wand at the ready.

If that wasn't enough (after all, picking up all those chairs was quite back-breaking labor), the loud crash startled a mystery in the little closet where many hung their coats...and did...other things. Kingsley coughed, eyes watching the closet warily. Remus just rolled his eyes in exasperation, hurrying over to pull the chairs up before Wizengamot got wind of the fact that three highly trained Aurors had somehow managed to knock over all the chairs in one swipe. Kinglsey followed, unwilling to be the first to encounter the "thing."

SO, of course, it was once again left to the girl to handle all the hard-work, gritty labor. Even if she was the apparent fiercest of the three, Tonks still approached the rattling closet with apprehension, almost positive a boggart was in there. If there was...well, she would never live down the humiliation.

"Alohomora, " she whispered, watching the doors swing open. A shadow moved, and out hopped the boggart. The black eyes peered at her innocently. So, sShe screamed. Stumbling back, Tonks clung to the corner of a desk, face pale, limbs shaking. Kingsley and Remus were on her in a second, dropping the chairs and rushing over to see if she was alright.

"Tonks," the Head Auror cried, fiddling with his earring as he tried to find out what had terrified Tonks so badly, wand at the ready, pointed towards the door. Remus held a hand to her forehead, running a soothing hand up her back.

"Merlin, what happened?"

"Twitching...long ears... fluffy..." she murmured, eyes wide, face a ghostly white.

"Come again?" She screamed again, pointed a shaking figure towards the advancing boggart, eyes wild.

"THAT!" Remus and Kingsley stared, one eyebrow raised as a small, fluffy bunny hopped towards them, nose twitching, ear flopping, and eyes trained on Tonks.

"A bunny...?"

"Get away from me!" Tonks screamed, scrambling for cover, trying to get as far away as humanely possible without actually moving, her wand left alone on the table. Its eyes glowed red, mouth pulled into an inhumane grin, bearing two fangs as its nose twitched again.

She fainted.

Remus, who had finally pulled himself from his shock at seeing the boggart in the form of a bunny, brandishing his wand as the bunny turned glowing eyes on him, before changing into a full moon.

"Riddikulus!" He didn't spare it a glance as he ran over to where Kingsley was tending to the prone form of a reviving Tonks. Her eyes fluttered open, dark as night, hair a deep red,

"Bunnies...fangs...evil...scary!"

"Oh dear."

"Bunnies, Tonks? You're scared of bunnies?"

"They're evil, out to get us all!"

"Right, lets get you home."

"The Aurors wont care that we didn't finished today."

The END!

No...wait...

EPILOGUE

But, of course, that very day that the trio of Kingsley, Remus, and Tonks decided to cut their inspection short and bring Tonks back to her home to rest, the Death Eaters came and attacked the Ministry. With bunnies.

NOW! The end.