SECRECY
Chapter 8
Jesse ignored me all next week. He only talked to me when he had to, and vice versa. Normally I wouldn't mind, but I didn't realize how much I liked Jesse's attention until I was no longer receiving it.
I guess I can't really blame him, though. What happened at the beach that night was kind of weird. I thought kissing him would make me cringe, because I consider him as much of a brother to me as my step-brothers.
Or, I guess, considered. Now, I can't really say that he's a brother to me. Because, frankly, I liked when he kissed me. It was like nothing I'd ever imagined.
And, well, it was my first kiss.
Ever.
Huh. Imagine that. Someone you thought could be your brother is the one to give you your first kiss.
Okay, off the subject of Jesse kissing me, please.
The thing is, though, being ignored sucked. Especially by Jesse.
And I was back to nearly failing Algebra again. My teacher just didn't teach me well. I learned more from Jesse then I ever did from my actual teacher.
So, you see, I had to talk to him. Make ends meet.
So at lunch on Monday, I got up the courage to go and talk to him. I walked up to the table where he sits with Jake and his friends and asked, as politely as I could, if I could speak with him for a minute.
He looked at me for a minute, not even saying or doing anything. Then he nodded and stood up.
I led us over to a secluded area where we could talk without being interrupted.
"Look, Jesse," I said. I was about to say more, but Jesse interrupted me.
"Susannah, if this is about what happened at the beach . . . I - I am very sorry. I don't know what came over me then." He apologized profusely.
I felt bad, because, well, he looked so frustrated and . . . guilty. Of kissing me, I guess? But . . . it wasn't all that bad.
"I forgive you," I said quickly. "And, yes, that was what I was going to talk to you about. I just want to forget about that and keep the past behind us. I just hate us not talking, Jesse, and you ignoring me."
He looked unsure. "Are you sure? You're not . . . angry with me?"
"How could I be angry with you? You apologized to me. And I guess you just thought I was that other girl that you have a crush on. Mistakes are made, Jesse. I'm sure you've learned from it."
He opened up his mouth to say something else, but then decided against it and shut his mouth.
I wondered what he was going to say. I was actually going to ask him, but I really didn't think he'd tell me, anyway. "So, we're good, then?" I asked hopefully.
He hesitated, then nodded. "Yes. We're . . . good." For someone who lives in this century, he sure doesn't like the way we talk. He seemed hesitant to say 'good', they way it was used.
Jesse never ceases to amaze me.
"Great," I said. I turned around to go back over to the table where CeeCee, Adam, and Marta were sitting, but I turned back around and said, "So, I'll see you tonight for algebra lessons?"
He smiled. "Of course," he said.
I felt so much better now that everything was all cleared up. But . . . I kind of felt disappointed. That he just kissed me because he thought I was someone else for a minute.
Or maybe as just an experiment?
Whatever it was, I just couldn't forget it. Forget the way his lips felt on mine, how . . . right it felt.
I shook my head of those thoughts and walked back to our lunch table.
- § -
Okay, so remember that guy I said that asked me out?
He did it again.
It was as I was coming out of school. I was walking over to Jesse's car so he could drive me home when he just grabbed my arm and pulled me aside.
I didn't realize it was him until I turned to look at him — and punch him in the face. Don't look at me like that. I had no idea who it was at the time and he actually touched me. No one does that unless I want them to or they want to get their face smashed in.
While this guy was somewhat tolerable, I was kind of pissed off then. He could have just said my name and I would have talked to him. He didn't have to drag me away somewhere to talk to him.
Ugh.
Kind of snappishly, I asked, "What the hell do you want, Paul?"
He smirked. The smirk I've come to learn very rarely leaves his face. "What," he said, "I get no hello?"
"Not if you just grab my arm and drag me somewhere," I said. "Now, can you just tell me what you want so my ride doesn't leave without me?"
He glanced over to where Jesse's car was. "Oh, that new guy that's giving you a ride home? I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I gave you a ride."
"Paul, come on. We've been over this before. I—"
"Yes, I know, Suze. But I was wondering if you perhaps changed your mind?"
I narrowed my eyes at him. "And why would I do that?"
His icy blue eyes glistened. "Because I think you are better than any of the girls at this school. You're not fake, like them. You—"
"Can we get real, here?" I said moodily. Jesse, I could tell, was waiting by his car, wondering where I was. "Do you really expect me to believe that bullshit?"
He looked insulted. That I would call any words that came out of his mouth bullshit. Hey, he was just that type of guy. The rich, hot ones that think they can always get whatever they want.
And let me tell you, this is one thing he is not getting.
"Come on, Suze. I can prove that I'm a good guy. Better than de Silva over there, at least." He rolled his eyes at Jesse checking his watch.
Just walk away, Suze. And if he tries to grab your arm again, just punch him in the nose. Yeah, that always works.
But I didn't walk away. He had just insulted Jesse. And insinuated that I liked Jesse. Which I so totally did not. "Shut the hell up, Paul. You have no idea what you're talking about."
And then I walked away. He called my name a few times, but I just ignored him. That's what you have to do with guys like that. Ignore them.
And hope they go away.
I smiled at Jesse as I approached him. And he smiled back, despite the fact that I was a good ten minutes late. Maybe eight, but that's cutting it close.
"Sorry I took so long," I said. "Had to stop in to see Father Dom really quick." Okay, so I was lying, but I honestly don't think Jesse wants to hear about the almost-stalker I have.
He looked at me skeptically for a second, like he didn't believe me. Then he just shrugged and said, "It's all right," and opened up the car door for me to get in.
- § -
After my tutoring session with Jesse, he drove me back to my house. I went in and ran up to my room to take a shower before dinner.
But I was shocked to see that Jesse was still there after I had showered. In fact, he was staying for dinner. Andy had made extra, I soon realized.
Jesse smiled at me as I made my way into the dining room, just in time for dinner. Everyone was all ready seated, waiting for me so they could say grace and dig in.
Andy looked up and smiled. "It seems we have a straggler," he said jokingly.
I just rolled my eyes and took my seat next to my mom. We said grace and then ate dinner peacefully. Well, at least until some unexpected decided to show up.
Someone that only Jesse and I could see.
Frustrated, I excused myself from the table and, trying not to avert too much attention to myself, I dragged the ghost out of the dining area.
I soon felt Jesse's presence behind me. I gestured for him to follow me into the living room area, where the people in the dining room couldn't hear us.
"What," I said to the ghost, "do you want?"
Seemingly shocked at the fact that I had touched him before, and now that I had talked to him, he stammered out, "I-I don't u-understand . . ."
I rolled my eyes. I should have expected this. "Look," I said, "you are not supposed to be here. You're supposed to be in heaven or hell or your next life or something, not just hanging around here among the living."
He looked at Jesse and then back at me. "How is it that you guys can see me when no one else can?" It seems his stammer has disappeared.
I sighed and was about to answer when Jesse said, "We're mediators," he said. "We can see, touch, and talk to the spirits of the deceased."
The ghost blinked.
"Yeah," I said, "what he said." I noticed Jesse rolling his eyes out of the corner of my eye. "Now, what's your name?"
"Leon," he said, still a little shocked over the whole ordeal. I guess I couldn't really blame him. Pretty much every ghost did this when they figured out that there were people that could see them. "Leon Sanders."
I nodded. "Okay, Leon, what do you think is keeping you here? Like, did something happen before you died that you left unfinished or something?"
He shrugged. "I . . . I don't know. I thought that you just went to heaven or hell after you died."
"You do," I said. "But, if you have unfinished business, like you seem to have, then you stay here and go to people like us."
He started playing with his hands nervously.
"Okay, let's start with how you died," I said authoritatively. I put my hands on my hips and looked at him expectantly.
But he didn't seem to want to talk about it. He just kept his mouth shut and his gaze averted from me.
Ugh. Why do I always get the difficult, close-mouthed ones? Why?
"Were you—"
But I didn't really get to finish my sentence, since my mother called for me. Jesse looked at me with those warm brown eyes and gestured for me to go to her.
I sighed and went to see what my mother wanted.
A/N: Hey, everyone! Sorry I haven't posted this in a while. Well, compared to my other fics, I'm doing pretty good, but it felt like a while to me. So I typed as fast as I could to get this chapter finished. And now it is. I actually had a different plan for this chapter, but my fingers have minds of their own apparently. Hehe.
You all know how much I like reviews...hint hint...wink wink...
-Nicole