Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers!
Please R&R
(A fic request from Optimus Prime 007, a humerous take on Prowl asking Jazz to bond with him. Am on a roll with this! (it also helps to have a weekend in a caravan with virtually nothing to do but write!) Thank you to everybody who has read, reviewed and faved! I am so glad you are all enjoying this! Enjoy! I am sorry for any mistakes!)
Chapter 1
==ARK 2 Crash Site==
They emerged bruised and in Bluestreak's case, a little bit broken from the destroyed shuttle.
"Another perfect landing!" Sunstreaker declared proudly, not really taking notice of the still smouldering wreckage that had burnt away nearly half the flora near the beach, earning himself some venomous looks from his shuttle mates. "What? We're still alive aren't we?"
"Surprisingly, yes" Prowl commented rattling his plating and doorwings to dislodge some fumes and soot that had gotten underneath the pristine white plating which was now dented and scratched thanks to Sunstreaker's unorthodox landing. "You're still not getting to fly a shuttle for the rest of your activation."
The gold warrior stuck out his glossa at the SIC puffing up his dented and dull gold plating in teasing offence. "As if you could have done better"
"Sunstreaker, I flew the shuttle through the volcanic asteroid belt near Deluzafrost, and we didn't get anywhere near deactivated." Prowl replied raising an optic ridge; daring the swordsmech to come up with a response to trump that lethal experience.
"You're cenitvorns older than me!" Sunstreaker protested "Of course you'll have more experience!"
"I'd give him that excuse Prowl" Smokescreen said sitting on what appeared to be a charred fallen tree beside Inferno and Blaster who were trying to pry Red Alert from the face of the Security Camera Consol which had come free in the Security Director's servos during landing. "You are pretty old"
"Thank you for that lovely vote of confidence, Smokescreen" Prowl sighed sidestepping a falling piece of molten armour from the side of the shuttle, the orange molten metal sizzling in the black charred crater trail the shuttle had created.
"You're welcome" the other mech replied with a smug grin as he helped a traumatised Bluestreak tape his hand back on until they could find a more experienced medic other than a cheerful looking Wheeljack who was beginning to fiddle with one of his smaller inventions.
==Autobot Base, Main Hanger==
"Has it exploded yet?" Jazz asked excitedly trying to poke his helm out of the slightly parted doors, "I want to see the explosion!"
"Saboteurs and explosions" Ironhide sighed shaking his helm, as held the small silver mech back from trying to lunge out of the doors to try and see the smoking wreckage "You gotta love them"
"Let me go over there Prime, there could be survivors!" Ratchet was insisting to the flame decorated leader that was trying to placate the furious Mr. Galloway who was in the middle of a furious rant about the Autobots deliberately trying to blow their cover to the public.
"In a minute Ratchet" Optimus said in clear distraction as he tried to refrain from stomping on the irate Galloway "Mr. Galloway, in case you didn't know, this isn't a usual situation, the shuttle you saw was crash landing, it was probably attacked by Decepticons. Plus with the Cybertronian track record with Shuttle Crashes, there will probably be no survivors. It was a fluke that the shuttle; probably a last attempt to get airborne again by the AI, managed to change crash course."
"Will you just let me go and see if there are any survivors?" Ratchet grouched "If you're that worried about it I'll take Jazz and Sideswipe"
"I'll go too Prime" Ironhide chimed in "Might as well bring the frames of the poor fraggers back to base for spare parts"
"Very well, but be cautious" Optimus said wearily "We don't know how volatile the remains are."
==ARK 2 Crash Site==
"So what are we going to do?" Inferno asked casually, wincing as Red Alert dug his claws in further to the giant mech's plating, having clambered half way up the fire fighter's back strut in fright when they finally managed to pry the consol face from his servos, the smaller mech's helm horns crackling an alarmed blue.
"Well we can't stay here forever" Blaster agreed sitting on the decimated tree trunk with Smokescreen trying to convince Steeljaw, one of his cassettes, to scout for them. "I mean we can't even set up the emergency beacon because Teletraan Jr. is happily floating around in the emergency backup stick."
"And the little fragger refuses to anywhere near its host shuttle until it's fixed" Prowl said with a growl holding the odd looking USB stick and giving it a firm shake only to get a little electric shock from it in return, making the SIC hiss in distaste "I'll be having words with Teletraan 1 about your behaviour" he threatened the data stick.
"Oh fantastic idea, just because daddy computer is with Optimus and his crew on some planet far away from here, doesn't mean we can't just comm. him and ask for Teletraan to discipline it's pit spawn of an offspring" Sunstreaker said sarcastically "I told you it was a bad idea to take the ARK 2, but no, 'It'll be good experience for it' you said."
"I wasn't aware Teletraan's offspring would be so… ditzy and temperamental" Blaster replied dryly letting Steeljaw back into his chest compartment when the feline cassette refused to go explore, the others chiming in with their complaints of the junior programme of the Autobot's most famous computer, just as the resident Autobots of Diego Garcia peered over the crater trails edge complete with Jazz taking an ecstatic flying leap at a startled Prowl.
==Several Hours later, Autobot Base==
Prowl sighed as he was finally released from the Medbay, scrubbing a servo down his faceplate in exhaustion. Ratchet had kept all of them in for an individual lecture, one after the other, leaving Prowl until last, about not bailing when the shuttle was clearly going down and about how 'Primus, slagging, lucky' they all were to still be standing, with the exception of Bluestreak who was put under for a while to cope with the trauma of Sunstreaker's piloting and get his servo reattached.
"Report to Prime, then recharge" he grumbled to himself flexing his wings, suddenly sensing the familiar jogging tred of Jazz as the TIC saw him, tackling him from behind in a hug in the deserted corridor.
"Prowler!" he grinned nuzzling in between the Praxian's doorwings.
"Hello, Jazz" Prowl smiled softly turning in the visored mechs grip to hug him back, his spark content to be in the presence of his chosen "What did you do this time?"
"What?" Jazz whined looking up slightly into the gold optics of his secret lover with a pout "You can't be serious! You crash land on the beach in a shuttle, avoiding certain deactivation, you were stuck in Ratchet's Medbay all afternoon and I can't give you a hug of relief without you being suspicious?"
"What did you do?" Prowl repeated firmly flicking a silver helm horn fondly.
"I put paint in Ironhide's cannons" Jazz admitted quickly as Prowl's smile widened "The Twins were in on it too, and it made a really nice collage of colours on the targets in the shooting range"
"Ah, yes, how is the 'Master Pilot'?" Prowl asked rolling his gold optics in a sarcastic manner "No matter what Sunstreaker says, he's not getting near shuttle controls ever again"
"He's back to whining about his paint job, and Sideswipe is trying to help his find an 'stylish' enough for him while they spend a few days in the brig, plus Sideswipe is probably catching up on his 'Sunstreaker Hug' quota" Jazz shrugged giving a soft chirr of pleasure as Prowl ran a clawed finger over the other helm horns before stepping out of his embrace. "Which reminds me, after Prime's done with you; I'm getting you for the rest of the night!"
"Oh?" Prowl said arching his doorwings in a questioning tilt, his lover bouncing on his pedes in excitement.
"yep, we have to find you an and get some interfacing in" Jazz chirped practically skipping down the corridor towards the Prime's office, Prowl following behind in amusement as a few humans wandered down the empty corridor ahead, none the wiser of the two courting mechs in their midst.
==Autobot Base, Prime's Office==
Because Optimus was the Prime, he got the biggest office. It was apparently his birthright and because he was 'so freaking huge' as Sam had so delicately put it once. So when Prowl first wandered into the spacious place he instantly put his servos on his hips and offered his CO a stoic smile
"I'd better be getting an office like this, or I'm creating a Union"
Optimus chuckled looking up from his data-pad at his SIC and TIC walking into the room. He set down the pad, and stood from his desk to greet his old friend "It's good to see you well, Prowl. I trust you are here for a debriefing and not for some Earth brewed High Grade?"
"My, my Prime" Prowl chirred shaking his helm a relaxed smile adorning his faceplates, so unusual from the stoic façade he put up for the troops "Such bad habits"
"Something you will obviously attempt to curb later my friend" Optimus returned, resting a hand on his head tactical officer's shoulder plating, glad to have all of his officers with him once more.
"Yeah, because I often end up joining him" Jazz chimed in with a grin.
"You told me you hadn't been at the High Grade, Jazz. Ratchet said you were to have medical grade energon. Anything you want to tell me?" Prowl suddenly spoke up making Jazz and Optimus shuffle nervously.
"I… uh… Kind of died?" Jazz asked nervously scrapping the tip of a pede against the floor and holding his servos behind his back like he had been caught stealing from the energon goodie jar. "Megatron played tug of war with me, I was the rope, and I guess he forgot you can't play that with a real live mech. So I… snapped in half"
Optimus could practically hear the gears in his SIC's helm clicking and whirring as he tried to comprehend what Jazz was saying as well as the mech's subconscious shrieking 'What the Frag?'
"Don't freak out" Optimus said lowly moving to hold his SIC either up or to the floor.
"You…died?" Prowl finally parroted making Optimus mentally cheer for the anti-climax.
"Allspark magic" Jazz supplied to the next question before it was asked "Did you know Primus and Unicron like to do the Caramelldansen?"
Optimus knew Jazz regretted saying that just as Prowl looked it up on the internet "Wait Prowl! Don't!" he cried to late as the SIC suddenly shuddered, his plating give an ominous rattle before his gold optics went dark and he collapsed into the Prime's outstretched arms, his processor having its first crash in nearly four vorns.