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(A request fic for Optimus Prime 007, a Humorous take on Prowl asking Jazz to bond with him. Thanks to everybody who has read, reviewed and faved! Enjoy!)
Chapter 2
==The Morning After=Diego Garcia= Autobot Base= Medbay==
"Prowl! Prowl, how many fingers am I holding up?" Jazz's voice pierced the dark fog of his processor as he struggled towards the light, a blurry shape fazing in and out of focus as he groggily replied
"Seven?"
Jazz looked at his raised fingers to stare puzzled at the three he had been holding up and hid them quickly as he saw Prowl's gold optic lenses shift closer to the cluster of the light emitting filaments to focus, giving a faint whirr as they adjusted "Close enough" he smiled down at his lover stretched out on a medical berth, leaning over the Praxian as he fought back into consciousness. "What do you remember?"
"Something about Unicron and Primus" Prowl grumbled feeling his helm practically itch in irritation as he tried to remember, he raised a clawed servo to his helm and scratched his chevron's crest, a soothing habit from his sparkling days to ease his quicksilver, helm-ache inducing scenarios forced upon his processor by his battle computer, of what could have happened in the blank section of his memory just before he crashed.
"Don't think to hard about it" Jazz advised with a cringe "Ratchet has already given me a new dent in my helm for breaking your processors already; I'm supposed to show you around after we get some energon in the Rec-Room"
"Fantastic, more processor crashes are imminent then" Prowl grumbled, always in a bad mood after a crash.
"Maybe. The minor Twins have been getting jealous and are starting to kick up a fuss about not getting any attention anymore and picking fights with the Twins, who were let out of the brig this morning" Jazz warned as the black and white doorwinged mech rolled off the medical berth and stepped onto his pedes with the grace of a cat.
"Let's get to it then" Prowl sighed as they exited the medbay, passing a brooding Ratchet sharing a cube of High Grade with a cheerful looking Wheeljack who was sporting some suspicious looking welds already.
==Autobot Base= Rec-Room==
"Would you four stop that!" Simmons snapped at Skidz and Mudflap as they jockeyed for control of the TV remote with an annoyed Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, the four mechs in a tangle of fighting limbs on the Transformer sized sofa as humans plastered themselves to the walls and walkways embedded at Transformer height, weary of flying minor Twins. "Hey! Goldie locks! You are putting personnel at risk! Put down the annoying Chevrolet and I won't come and scratch your paint job with a wire brush!"
"Oh, shut up Squishy!" Sunstreaker snarled down at the angered human that had his hands on his hips glaring up at them as the gold warrior held a violently cursing Mudflap by the audio, the small bot dangling like a drenched animal, kicking and flailing in the air. "I've got bigger problems than looking out for your bag of organs!"
"SUNSTREAKER! SIDESWIPE! Put them down!" a baritone voice rumbled darkly from just behind Seymour Simmons making all in the room pause, the bots that had been watching the scene in amusement quickly huddling down in their seats over their energon and pretending they hadn't been doing nothing to stop the fight.
"And who are you?" Simmons snapped at the black and white mech with a gleaming red chevron that stalked into the Rec-Room stopping only to loom over the ex-Sector Seven agent with eerily calculating amber optics, the wings on its back flared high in a stiff 'v'.
"Our worst nightmare" the larger set of Twins chorused glaring at the newly arrived SIC as Jazz poked his helm around the Praxian's mass.
"Better do as Prowler says, mechs, he's got a helm-ache" the saboteur chirred gleefully as Sunstreaker immediately dropped Mudflap as if he had been scalded and Sideswipe managed to pry Skidz's mouth from around his servo shoving the green minor twin off of him and shuffling closer to his own sibling with a rattle of his silver plating.
"My name is Prowl" Prowl finally spoke down to Simmons, raising an optic ridge in stoic scrutiny of the man that stared right back with his hands on his hips.
"He's our SIC" Jazz chimed in waving down at one of his favourite humans to torment.
"So your head honcho when the truck ain't around?" Simmons stated eyeing the Praxian.
"Not very good at making first impressions is he?" Prowl rumbled in Cybertronian to the snickering Jazz. "He's a bit like you"
That had the silver mech giving a shrill note of protest as Prowl inclined his helm to the eccentric liaison "That is correct, May I ask your Designation?"
"Seymour Simmons" the man said wearily as Prowl tilted his chevroned helm in curiosity.
"I think we're going to get on very well, Mr. Simmons" Prowl finally replied after searching through the human's records. With that the SIC stepped over the man and stalked his way to the energon dispenser.
"And just what did he mean by that?" Simmons asked a pleased looking saboteur.
"Congrats man, it means he likes you and won't slice you in half with his energon blades" Jazz grinned "Not a wise thing to do, interrogating our SIC when he has a processor ache. He's quite fond of the Corvette twins because they had the ball bearings to try and prank him when they first met."
"Who says I'm going to get a Corvette Alt. Mode?" Sunstreaker grumbled from the couch as Sideswipe snickered beside him.
"Bro, we're the Twins! We gotta have matching Alternate Modes!" Sideswipe grinned patting the shining gold bicep plating of his temperamental sibling. "Plus with the way we're arranged, we get wheels to skate on instead of pedes! Need I remind you that we need a lot of speed to get away from the Hatchet?"
"I'd love to see you try out skating on your tyres in winter" Sunstreaker sneered bonking his twin on the helm and sinking further into the seat and crossing his arms on his protoform chest plating "I'll choose and Alt. later, now hurry up and switch on the art channel, I think this Da Vinci person was on to something!"
"Oh, that reminds me" Jazz exclaimed snapping his fingers and dodging around an irate Simmons as he went back to his coffee break "Prowler! We gotta find you an Alt. Mode!"
The Praxian, who had found Red Alert brooding in the corner behind the lumbering shadow of Inferno, was quietly reassuring him that he would see about a Security Room being installed, looked up from his discussion with a weary glance. "I'm quite happy as I am at the moment Jazz"
"Nope, Boss-bots orders" Jazz trilled grabbing his lover by the arm plating as he drained the last of his energon, and placed the cube in the recycler. "Come on! The government is offering any car you want!"
"Somehow I think this is going to go badly" Prowl grumbled as he was tugged out of the Rec-Room.
=A few Hours Later=Autobot Base= Front Hanger=
Sam shrieked at the top of his voice when he saw the Police Car sitting innocently at the back of the Autobot hanger beside Jazz's sporty silver Alt., which grumbled into life with a roar of surprise at the unmanly scream.
"It's Barricade!" the young man cried turning tail and running straight into Bumblebee's ankle joint who was chirring in amusement as the Autobots and soldiers in hearing range of Sam's scream came running, weapons in hand.
"Where?" Jazz piped up transforming in a whirr of parts leaving the Dodge Charger police cruiser to sulk on his suspension.
"There!" the human squeaked pointing at the black and white mech that transformed, its clawed servos on its hips glaring at him with cold gold optics.
"I'll have you know, my name is Prowl" the new mech rumbled, optics narrowing at the human as he stalked off back into the depths of the base, wings flared up in insult as the other Autobots snickered.
"Sam" Bumblebee whispered kneeling down beside the panicked human "That was Prowl, he's our SIC and head of the Tactical division"
"Oh… Did I offend him?" the brown haired young man asked nervously as the other Autobots retreated back into the base with their human companions a little annoyed at the false alarm.
"Probably, but don't worry, Prowl doesn't really hold grudges but he might 'accidently' nearly step on you" Bumblebee shrugged as he gently nudged Sam in the direction of Optimus' Office. A small camera drone was crawling along the wall like a mechanical centipede, half rearing off the wall to zoom in on them before scuttling off down the corridor. "That's Red Alert's new Camera Drones. He's one of the newest arrivals"
"Yeah, I saw the giant shuttle, in the crater" Sam said shivering as he saw who he presumed to be Red Alert, the white and red mech, staring creepily at them from the Rec-Room, curled up next to a mech larger than Optimus that was casually watching the TV that seemed to be stuck on the art channel as Sideswipe and another new mech were silently watching. "Was it supposed to land like that?"
Bumblebee gave an amused buzz of his vocaliser as they turned onto the Officer corridor on the way to Optimus' Office, the door hissing open like a startled snake, surprisingly revealing a working Prowl who was in the process of getting annoyed by a cheerful Jazz sitting like a showgirl on the edge of what was once the Prime's desk.
"Next office down boys!" Jazz giggled as Prowl, with an almost smug look relaxed back in his chair, pressing the tips of his claws together like a super villain "Optimus moved office"
"Oh, thanks Jazz" Bumblebee chirped as if nothing was wrong, his human companion giving a splutter of protest as Prowl flared up his armour at him when the door hissed back closed.
The next door opened with less ceremony to reveal an amused Optimus talking with a smirking Blaster about where to set up the Communications tower he had planned, the black armoured form of the Weapons Master, Ironhide coming in after them with a data-pad. "I see you've gotten chucked out of your office, Prime"
"Nothing that hasn't happened before" the Prime shrugged "Prowl is… very persuasive when he is in a bad mood"
"I can't wait until he meets Galloway" Ironhide said with a smirk.
"He doesn't like me already" Sam piped up as Bumblebee lifted up the human to put on the last Prime's new desk.
"You did call him Barricade" Bumblebee said gravely "Prowl doesn't take kindly to being called a Decepticon"
"He's got claws and a police car mode!" Sam replied "And don't lie, you thought he was Barricade too until you saw Jazz getting cosy with him"
Ironhide and Optimus shot each other alarmed looks. Maybe the pairs weren't being as discreet as they first thought…
==Autobot Base= Prowl's Office=
Prowl smiled softly as Jazz leaned away from the kiss with a giggle "I'll see you later Prowler!" he chirred, the TIC bouncing out of the office letting in a skating Sunstreaker. "Sideswipe was insistent was he?"
"Fragger hacked my scanner" the gold warrior sniffed picking over his new form and rotating a wheel along the ground "I'm now a slagging Corvette until I can beat the lock codes out of him"
"Speaking of Alt. Modes, I trust everyone else has gained one?" Prowl asked tilting his helm curiously as he finished his last data-pad of the hour.
"Bluestreak and Smokey have Dodge Chargers, but I think Smokey is eyeing up Jazz's Pontiac Solstice Alt. Mode, so he might change. Red Alert went for a Lamborghini and Inferno went for a Fire Truck. Blaster is now the new Transformer Sized sound system in the Rec-Room" Sunstreaker listed on his fingers "Oh and Wheeljack is a Mustang. I wanted a Lamborghini Alt. it would look so much stylish on me but Sideswipe was being an aft."
"Speaking of style" Prowl said fiddling with his stylus "I'm going to need your help with something"
"Prowl… the last time I agreed to help you; we insulted a spaceport full of giant mutant slime creatures. So forgive me if I'm a little skeptical" Sunstreaker replied wearily.
"It was your fault for downloading the slang of the language" Prowl retorted sharply "How was I supposed to know the femme I run into was the Princess? Anyway, I'm going to ask Jazz to bond with me"
"Yeah, well bad mistake on your… say wha?" the gold swordsmech squeaked nearly over balancing on his tyre pedes.
"You are self proclaimed 'Relationship Guru'" Prowl pointed out with an almost wicked smile "I'm not good at the whole proposing thing, so I need some help"
"And if I refuse?" Sunstreaker reproached crossing his arms and raising and optic ridge in question.
"you won't get the lock codes to your Alternate Mode Scanner" Prowl purred subspacing the odd looking data-stick that had once held Teletraan Jr. before they uploaded him alongside his 'father' computer. "Which, I happen to have acquired from your, oh so helpful, twin"
"Fragger" the gold warrior pouted "this is conspiracy blackmail"
"But its good blackmail" Prowl said tucking the data-stick back into his subspace "So. Do we have a deal?"
"Deal… I want that Lamborghini Alt.!"