Title: Illuminated

Author: IronIsraeliButterfly

Chapter Title: Near to You, pt. 1

A/N: There's a lot of McGee-Ziva, not so much Gibbs. However, it is not McGiva, it is purely their friendship and helping along the relationship between Ziva and Gibbs. Also, the words of the songs are interspersed along the chapter, not necessarily in order, because I feel this really summarizes and encapsulates the Ziva-Gibbs relationship.

"Near to you, I am healin'
But it's takin' so long
Cause though he's gone and you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yeah, I'm better near to you
Yeah, I'm better near to you"

-"Near to You"

Ziva refilled Gibbs' coffee cup and placed it on the table before pouring one for herself and sat down.

"Thanks," he said, watching her carefully. She took the paper from underneath his hand and scanned the headlines, and then pushed the paper back to him. "Is anything wrong? Did something happen when I was in the shower?" her eyes were filled with worry, as if the something terribly wrong had occurred.

"Vance called."

Ziva sighed. It had been six months since Ziva and Gibbs had gotten together, and four months since Ziva had moved into his house. They had settled into a blessed routine, sharing toothpaste and making dinner together. They drank the same coffee and read the paper together. She took a run every morning and then woke him up after she had brewed the coffee and he made their lunches while she was in the shower. It was wonderfully normal. Yet Vance's call would shatter the wonder that was occurring, for at least a little time.

"What did he want to say?" Ziva asked, sipping her coffee.

"I'm going out of the country for a couple days with DiNozzo."

"Where are you going?" Ziva enquired, her interest piqued. The last time she had been out of the country, she had gone with Tony to Paris. She squirmed at the memory of having to share a hotel room with him, even if she had taken the couch.

"Saudi Arabia."

Ziva's face darkened. "Why are you going and not me? I speak Arabic and–"

"Vance said no. he said it's too dangerous for you."

"I have been to Saudi Arabia before, Jethro."

He gave her a long, hard, searching look. "Yes, but there was a reason for it. Ziver, it's too dangerous, and I don't want you getting hurt. He got up and put his arms around her, for she was now standing next to the coffee pot, refilling her mug. At least she did not spurn his advances. "Honey," he whispered into her hair, loving the smell of her, "you're not getting hurt, not on my watch. Besides, I need you to keep an eye on Abby and McGee." Ziva snorted. He decided to go on, "Ziver, I want you to be safe. I'll never be able to forgive myself if anything happened to you, and I know you can take care of yourself perfectly well, but… I won't be able to handle it if something happens to you." He rocked her back and forth before he could hear her murmur softly:

"And what will happen to me if something happens to you?" her tone then changed to angry as she pulled herself out of his arms and began chopping tomatoes, her knife a blur above the cupboard. Knife work always made her feel better, in a savage sort of way. "Why does Vance have to send you, anyway? Why is it always our team that gets stuck doing the dangerous work? Rainworth's team always gets the open and shut cases, Collins's team never leaves the office, and we're stuck running around after dangerous criminals! Why can't Vance send them for a change?" She stabbed the tomato, juice oozing out all over the cutting board. She glared at it.

He put his arms around his waist again and tried to comfort her, but she did not seem satisfied. "I have to call DiNozzo, honey." He kissed the top of her forehead and walked out of the kitchen. She could hear his curt words into the telephone and then his heavy footfalls and came back into the kitchen.

"We're just going to pick up the body, Ziva, we'll be back very soon." He tried to reassure her, realizing her anger came not from her exclusion, but the worry that there was a chance that Gibbs might not come back. He pulled her to him, and he could taste the coffee on her lips as he kissed her. "Ziver, I love you."

Ziva murmured her love to him, and when she looked up, her eyes full of unshed tears. One came rippling down her cheek, and he kissed it tenderly away.

Ziva and McGee sat down in the break room when he passed her the smoothie he had purchased, which he knew he liked. He opened his can of diet Cherry-Vanilla soda and opened the Scrabble board. As Ziva rummaged in the red velvet bag for the letters, he could tell that she was preoccupied. McGee alone knew of the relationship between Ziva and Gibbs, and he had kept it shut… of course, he had shared it with the entire world, in the form of Officer Lisa and Agent Tibbs – but the new novel was not due out for several months. McGee could read Ziva like an open book; he knew what she was thinking.

"He'll be fine, Ziva," he said, taking the bag from her and taking out his letters. Damn, he thought, a q. How the hell am I going to use that?

McGee knew her a lot better than the rest of the team, probably because he was non-judgemental. He was a writer, which meant he pondered people, their descions, what made them angry and what made them go possessive. McGee knew that life was rarely black-and-white, and that was what Ziva had seen in McGee — a friend who didn't just see the sexy woman, the brilliant assassin or the reputable criminal investigator – he saw Ziva, the strengths and the weaknesses. He had been able to understand her when they discussed fathers, and he was the one who knew when she was lonely or being pushed over the edge by Tony. It was the mark of their friendship that even though Ziva was living with Gibbs, becoming his partner in everything, Ziva and McGee were still engaged in a blossoming relationship outside of the office.

"Such pain as this
Shouldn't have to be experienced
I'm still reeling from the loss
Still a little bit delirious, yeah"

"Ziva," McGee began, "have you told him about… about you-know-what?"

Ziva pursed her lips and shook her head, indicating that she had not discussed the matter with Gibbs, whatever it may be.

"If you don't tell him… well, that's why his other three marriages failed…"

"We're not getting married, Tim, at least not yet, and I know… I just don't know when to tell him. Can we start out game and talk about something else?"

Chapter to be continued… what is Ziva hiding?