This is probably the longest chapter I might write, but it kind of exploded out of my mind. The whole thing even continues in the next chapter. Anyways today is my niece's bday so I'm updating early because we're going to watch all the BTR episodes. She actually convinced me to watch the show after two weeks of begging and then made me obsessed with it. So it doesn't truly suck I'm the youngest of my sister's when I get to have nieces that are just a couple years younger but pretty fun. Anyways thanks for the reviews, they made me happy =). Well enough of this, enjoy the chapter..
Just A Crush: Why Now?
"Wait, I didn't? Come on, I practically threw myself at you and you didn't do anything, not even flirt back." He said laughing. Boy he didn't know how wrong he was.
"I was seventeen for crying out loud, my experience with guys was zero and I was a nervous wreck that day. Remember I had to lie to everybody so we wouldn't get caught?" I said somewhat embarrassed.
"Zero experience with guys?" He said smirking.
"Two boyfriends tops. And its not like any of them truly liked me anyway, they only wanted me physically so I was just used to ignoring guys trying to seduce me." I said remembering when he changed that day or how he showed me his tattoo.
"You should've told me back then you know." He said.
"James, you had a girlfriend, and even if she was a bitch it would've still been wrong." I said.
There was silence for a while and it was sort of uncomfortable until his cellphone rang. He carefully put my feet on the ground and I sat myself right on the couch. I turned on the T.V. but in a low volume so I could still hear what he talked about. It was normal for me to eavesdrop.
"Hey!" He said with his signature tone, you could tell he was smirking and being flirtatious, it was just his way of being. That was probably the reason I never thought too much of it before that day in his house or the confession for that matter. "I'm at a friend's house and then we're all going to watch the game at Dustin's." He said and paused. "Yeah babe I remember you need the car tomorrow. By the way you're running out of gas so I'll be about five minutes late because of it okay?" Dammit, he was talking to his girlfriend, I hated it. "Don't worry about the money baby, I'll fill the tank for you. Anyways we'll talk later okay?" He paused again. "Bye, love you." He said hanging up.
He walked over to the couch and sat next to me. I looked over at him for a second, smiled and turned to look at the T.V. again. I was kind of a nervous wreck. I wanted to be with him but he had a girlfriend and maybe it was just that I wanted him for me. Because I had the longest crush on him. Maybe because I needed some affection. Last time I got one of those, maybe when I went to Italy, yeah, back then, from this random but really cute guy. I looked over at the oversized t-shirt I was wearing, it was his. Royal blue and white, with the number 11 on the back and his last name; Fainello.
"Hey, you okay?" I heard him ask. Of course my face wouldn't be so happy by now.
"Yeah, I'm just kind of tired you know. Work was exhausting." I said maybe hoping he would just go. I hated to be around him and not being able to do anything. I wanted to be his friend so I wouldn't completely lose him but this was just making it worst.
"Come on, lay down. Let me give you a massage." He said patting his lap.
"Nah, it's okay." I said not really wanting to know how this would turn out. This is kind of how other things started, would I even like this afterwards?
"Katie, you're really unbelievable. I, the incredible James, offer to give you a massage and you deny it. I'm truly offended." He said lightly laughing.
"Fine." I said while moving myself to the right. I grabbed a cushion and put it on top of his lap. I leaned sideways, as if I were to sleep, and laid my head in it. I know it wasn't the actual position for a massage but my brain wouldn't act as I directed.
I felt his strong hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes, trying to relax, not think about anything.
"Wow sweetie, you're truly tense." He whispered in my ear.
That truly got me nervous. I think he could tell because his hand felt softer as I started to feel it in my bare neck for a brief moment. He went back to my shoulder again.
"You like it?" He asked.
"Yeah, feels nice." I said, trying not to sound too happy. I remembered that day at his house over and over. I remembered high school, I started to remember every single moment that included him.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked.
"My last year in the school you and Kendall went to." I replied.
"You say it like you never went there." He said while getting my hair off my face and my neck before continuing with the massage.
"I wish. I really hated it you know. Those people messed with my mind so much. I truly felt alive, or at least like a human when I changed." I said remembering how when I left I transformed myself. I started to let my hair down, got bangs and reddish highlights. That was also around the time James said he first laid eyes on me in a different way.
"But that was good, I mean it made you change for the better." He said. After a while he continued. "You know, I remember how much Kendall hated you and how he used to talk about you when I was new. I didn't even know who you were until you went over to him one day to ask something. I think it was a dumb question tho because he got pretty pissed." He said. It did kind of hurt my feelings to know Kendall hated me. I knew I sort of pissed him off, but I never knew he expressed himself about me that way.
"I know, I did it on purpose, to kind of check you guys out. You were cute back then, well you and Logan." I said remembering those times. I had to make myself happy somehow in that hell hole.
"Sneaky." He said. I looked over at him, he was smiling his pearly whites.
"But still getting out of there was the best decision I ever made." I said proudly. I was never one to just give up.
"Yeah, you changed drastically Kates." I looked into his eyes. "I mean, you matured a lot, you were already mature for your age but your grade was truly holding you back. You got out of there, experienced life on your own, you stopped holding back. Even though I didn't get to see you on a daily basis anymore." He said and I turned back to leaning sideways.
"Yeah but if I stayed I wouldn't have probably changed and you would've never gotten a crush on me." I said laughing, he joined. After a while we became silent and he continued massaging.
"Feels good?" He asked.
"Yeah, really good." I said without measuring my words.
"I know how it can make you feel better." He said. I debated on what to answer. I knew how this would end up by now, but I couldn't help but want to be in that position, even if it was sort of wrong.
"How?" I asked, hoping that I was wrong and he would just answer with a few words of explanation, but right then I felt his hand caress my cheek and his lips pressed against my neck.
I closed me eyes enjoying that feeling. I felt like someone cared about me. I also felt that he forgot to shave before coming here. Then again I wasn't his girlfriend, he didn't have to get himself looking good for me. Oh wow, Camille, I wondered many things but decided to push it out of my mind and just enjoy.
He pulled the neck of my shirt until he could see my shoulder and kissed me there. He started to make a trail back to my neck and I started to prepare myself mentally for what I knew was coming next. He started kissing my jawline until he made his way up to my lips. It was sweet and gentle, and at the same time I thought he would've been a better kisser but I didn't want to think about anything, just enjoying him. Slowly he moved until he was completely on top of me, holding himself so he wouldn't hurt me, but still close enough for me to feel the changes in his breathing. After a bit we both separated. I looked at his eyes, it was hard to read what he was truly thinking.
"You know how long I've been waiting for this?"
I didn't respond, I couldn't bring myself to say anything. We started kissing again. This time our hands finding their ways. Mine were tangling themselves in his hair while his were making their way to my sides and slid under my shirt and started rubbing my back.
After a while it started getting intense. Guilt was starting to vaguely make its way back to my mind. I felt his hand making its way to snap my bra, I stopped him. A couple seconds later he was about to grab one of my breasts when I stopped him abruptly and got him to get off me. I sat straight in the floor this time, he sat next to me.
"Wow." I said, I couldn't believe this had happened.
"Seriously, why now?" He said.