Hey! I'm back with another chapter. Next chapter will be the final one. Thanks for reviewing and reading!

Just A Crush: The View

I didn't completely ignored James' texts. I have been reading them. I also called him back in response for all his text messages. We talked for a while, but I cut him short. I tried not too sound too needy, I kinda ended up sounding bitchy, but the truth was I did miss him, that's what went wrong. So here I am, getting ready to go on a date with him.

It was even ridiculous that we classified it that way. He had a girlfriend for crying out loud! I had to be honest with him, this couldn't continue anymore. He was cheating on his girlfriend, with me, something I never thought I'd be doing. Well, there goes another promise I didn't keep. I had promised myself I would never be this girl, this kind of girl. I had been on the other side before, it wasn't pretty.

Been cheated on I thought was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. It hurt so much I never wished this to happen to anyone, especially not because of me. I had promised myself to never be caught in this situation. But here I was, stuck in it. Even if we hadn't done much it was still cheating, he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. I was helping him do this.

I hated his voice, it was so sweet. Why couldn't I be the same person as a couple of years ago. That girl didn't let him get much in her head even when he was being extremely flirty, kinda throwing himself at her. I hate that I'm not that person anymore. I feel like I'm becoming weak, when I was always this strong stubborn person.

I wanted to look nice tonight, and I was trying to not give any provocative thought at all. But who am I kidding, guys like him like anything with boobs and sadly those wouldn't even go away with a tight sports bra. I decided to just wear my jeans and converse with a purple tank top and my gray jacket since it was kind of cold this late at night. He said we were going to the view so I had told mom I was gonna meet Claire and a couple of friends at Elaine's house a couple of blocks away so I was going to walk.

It was 8:30, it was getting dark, I was walking towards the corner and I saw him already parked there. I got into the car and he drove away. He was wearing his dark gray skinny jeans, his black leather jacket and a red t-shirt. He had his glasses on which made him look amazingly handsome.

He usually didn't like wearing them, but I was glad he was unaware of how great they made him look. He already knew he was cute and if his ego got any bigger it would truly suck. He was driving, looking straight ahead, from time to time looking at his phone. He kept receiving text messages.

"I missed you." Was the first thing he said.

"Me too." I felt like pudding.

"But still you were ignoring my texts, and when you call you're not yourself." He pointed out.

"I was busy to answer them and stuff kept getting me into bad moods. I still wanted to talk to you, it just came out with the wrong tone." I said. I felt like I was giving excuses to my mother.

He got a call there, he decided to pick up.

"Hey buddy! What's up?" He said looking at me, then he focused on the road again. "Well I'm kind of busy right now but in about an hour and a half I'll go to your house to grab the computer. My friend said he would help you."

He kept talking on the phone but he pissed me off. 'Kind of busy'? 'In about an hour'? Was I really just a pit stop? I was kind of feeling like a hooker at this point. He didn't say he was with a friend, he just said he was doing stuff. He picked me up in a corner, we've kissed and he keeps treating his girlfriend normally and talking about how she would have to deal with him leaving for the Army soon.

I had to tell him tonight. This had to stop, I had made so much progress those days that I stayed away from him.. Why couldn't I just keep myself put together? I am truly a masochist, Claire is right. I keep doing this to myself knowing that it would only get worse and it would hurt me and not him. I wanted him to get hurt just like I was right now, but at the same time it felt like I would die if I ever saw him hurt. I had seen him hurt before, it didn't feel good at all. Why do I even have to have a heart?

We got to the view and he parked the car. I got out in an instant, he was still finishing up the call. I needed to breath some air, my thoughts had been fighting in my brain. Whoever said 'listen to your heart' was a seriously screwed person.

"Hey." I heard him say while getting out of the car, strutting in his sexy way, oh God!

"Hey." I said looking down at the lake.

"So, what excuse did you use on your mom this time?" He said while he hugged me from behind and put his chin in my shoulder.

"That I was visiting some friends nearby." I said attempting to walk away, I failed. "So, how was your day?" I asked trying to direct the conversation the way I wanted to.

"Nothing much, had to run some errands with Camille and her mom and then got home and exercised." He said, I felt him shrug, like it was nothing.

I had to do it now, I had to tell him.