I obviously don't own Invader Zim, just this story and some fan-made characters! No harsh critics please, I am sensitive! Thank you!
Also... yus, these aren't precisely one-shots as what I had thought in a beginning, sorry by the unexpected turn .o.;
Test Stage III
Tap tap tap tap tap...
His fingers continued tapping the desk incessantly, as he kept staring at his little nervous patient, at those eyes that were so full of fear.
"Well, well, well..." he muttered, still seeming to be scanning her with his glance "Den... It has been a while..."
She lifted an eyebrow.
"Hum... Dr. Holzbauer, the last time we talked was like one week ago"
He sighed.
"I know, child, but I was having a great need of saying that... Didn't it sound good?"
"Maybe, but it didn't have enough sense"
"Whatever... How have you been, anyway?"
"Fine, I guess"
"And more important..." the man sat down, knowing that whatever she was going to tell would be long, very long "What's the matter now? I have to admit that I haven't seen those scared deer eyes in ages, so it must be serious business..."
Den nodded briefly.
"Verily... They're back, sir... They're back..."
The psychiatrist narrowed his eyes, as she shuddered for a second.
"What do you mean? Hmm?"
She looked in all directions.
"The pigs..."
That inevitably made her shudder again.
"Uhuh... And why are you whispering?"
"I don't know but didn't it sound good?" she mumbled, with obvious sarcasm, besides she truly had no idea.
"Let me guess... Are you feeling watched? Again? But this time by pigs?"
"No, no, it's nothing like that. There's a... meaning for those pigs"
"Really?"
"Remember the first time ever I came here?"
"Oh, how to not remember it... You were a hysterical 7-year-old then, with a serious trauma caused by... oh right, pigs"
"Hey... It wasn't that serious"
"Are you trying to tell me that it has come back?"
"No... Listen... It was plain weird before, I thought it was just a coincidence but now... now it makes perfect sense! It makes perfect sense!"
"What's your point?"
"The last time I saw pigs everywhere... the last time I had all those pig visions... It was right before the accident..."
"Uhuh... So?"
"And now, after years, I started seeing them again. First that one the... neighbor threw at me, then the other that the new girl at school was holding, then the ham that we had for dinner, what technically is pig and although it wasn't actually showed it's true... and everything began after I moved with my aunt, and then..."
"Hold on! I'm getting lost, just tell me what makes these pigs so worrying"
She stood up, almost in a jump, and punched the desk dramatically.
"THE PIGS ARE OMENS, DOCTOR! BAD BAD DEADLY OMENS!"
"Calm down now, Den! Remember that talk we had about how pointless was to shout to show you're being serious?"
"I'm not shouting, I'm just raising my voice! Don't you know what speak with emphasis is?"
"I do, but do you really have to emphasize every single word?"
"I'm sorry... but... but... I would get into trouble if I shout at school and I'm surely going to get dreadfully mauled if I ever shout at my aunt's house, I had to shout somewhere! Otherwise I could lose my mind..."
"...didn't you, already?"
"Huh?"
"Nothing... Aaaand this need of shouting, why could it be?"
"Believe me, I'm a calm person... but lately, I have been starting to feel... unsafe, and when I feel unsafe, I feel nervous, and those nerves... I don't think I have to go on"
Then, and to her surprise, the man laughed, as he petted her head.
"Oh, Den! Little hysterical exaggerated obsessive Den! There's nothing to worry about, your only problem is just an overdose of paranoia fuel!"
"P-paranoia fuel?" she stuttered, confused, and also slightly shocked by that so unexpected joyful reaction.
"You just have to relax, there isn't any danger, it's all in your mind. Now that I think it, this also could explain the rest of your senseless breakdowns"
"But... but... the pigs!"
"Who says those pigs are real omens of death? Hmm? Did any terrible thing happen already? After seeing them?"
"Well, no, but..."
"It's just your mind, Den, that's all. You're being influenced by your own fear... what isn't so strange, in fact, since you read lots of horrific novels with bloodthirsty aliens..."
"You don't understand, doctor... Nothing happened, but still, there's something wrong... that... man who lives in front of my aunt's house... there's something wrong with him"
"Seriously? Or is that what you want to think?"
"..."
"Look, I can easily get what's going on here and it isn't anything alarming. There's an specific cause for this paranoiac state. It's boredom, Den, you are a really bored person"
"Excuse me?"
"There isn't any true menace here, pigs are just pigs and nothing else. It's all a delusion, a delusion that you yourself have been creating to endure this boredom. You desperately want your life to be exciting"
"Hum... I can't deny it, sounds pretty logical, but... Seriously? That's all?"
"That's all. You should get a better and less psychotic way to amuse, child"
"So... Then you are meaning that I have to ignore these bad feelings and keep living normally to not drive insane?"
"Effectively"
"But... What if once I start ignoring this stuff then something terrible happens and I can't..."
"Den... You are doing it again"
She looked down.
"Sorry..."
"It's okay, we just have to find a way to dispel those harmful habits. Okay?"
"Okay..."
"This could lead you to isolation. You know, distance you from all the people you care about, your family and friends"
"Ehm, doctor... I don't have friends"
"Well, what about your parents?"
"You mean, my father?"
He silenced for a moment.
"Oh... Right, your father... Huh... He didn't even mention you didn't have a..."
"What?"
"Nothing, nothing. Have you been talking with your father recently?"
Den paused thoughtfully.
"Not really"
"Why not?"
"Because, well, you just have to look at him! He's so clever, and so stable and so sane, and I... I'm strange, ain't I..."
"Are you saying that you don't think you could get along?"
"Maybe..."
"But have you ever tried to establish any kind of communication with him?"
"Sometimes, yes"
"Besides 'Good morning', 'Hello', 'Bye', 'How are you'?"
"..."
"That's not good, Den. You're going to turn 12 this year, you're growing up so it's time to leave the deadly alien pigs fantasies behind and start focusing in more important things. To begin, your unsociable behavior"
"Believe me, it's not my intention to be like that"
"It's okay, I never said it was something bad. Actually, it's quite common"
"Oh well... At least I'm not that strange then..."
"At least..."
"So... I think I have to go already"
"Indeed, we're done"
"Then... I shall try to put this into practice"
Den stood up and went towards the door.
"Goodbye, Den, I hope you get over it soon... if it's not already too late and you have just started to inevitably become a freak..."
Her skinny body shivered, frozen, once that last awful word reached her ears, as she closed the door.
...
"Aaand this is me when I bought my cheery pony!"
"Aaaaaaaw! Adorable!"
"I know, right?"
Giggles. Lots of disgustingly cute giggles blared everywhere. Both Kiki and Zal had notably high-pitched voices, that would irritate anyone with their exaggeratedly lovely way of speaking, but when both voices were laughing and at the same time, without even stopping to breath... Someone nearby was already twitching, finding herself unable to ignore them. And that same someone turned immediately, once the door opened and Den came in.
"Where have you been?"
"At the psychiatrist..."
"And where's the steak?"
"...steak?"
"Steak. Didn't you buy it?"
"Eeehm... You didn't even ask..."
The woman clenched her fists against her lap, as she took a wallet from a pocket.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Go and get it"
"Could it be later? I'm a bit tired now and..."
Den's aunt was practically stabbing her with her glance.
"I. Want. My. Steak. And. I. Want. It. Now... Got it?"
Den gulped and nodded. The woman tossed her the wallet, hitting her face, and then turned back to the TV. Den picked it up quickly and headed to the door when...
"Hey, Den! Wait for us!"
And shortly afterwards, Kiki and Zal were following her across the streets, like ducklings.
"H-how was your day with the psychiatrist?" inquired Kiki, after a while.
"Fine, I guess"
Then, right what she truly didn't want to hear came from Zal's mouth.
"Psychiatrist? Do you go to the psychiatrist?"
"She goes almost all the time!"
"Kiki... I don't think it's a good idea to talk about that now"
"It's all right, I mean, it's pretty normal, isn't it?" smirked Zal.
"Yeah, maybe..."
"W-well, if you want me to talk about something else, I found my saccharine album!"
"...saccharine album?"
"It has all my sweetest photos of the last three years! I'm so glad, I thought it was missing!"
"Oh... That's... good to hear"
"Sounds like a nice idea, I should make mine too!" exclaimed Zal clapping.
"That would be great!"
And both giggled, as Den rolled her eyes with a tired smile.
"You should do the same, Den! So that we all have our own albums!"
"Sure..."
And so, they entered to the supermarket. Once they were inside, Kiki started to screech disturbingly again, almost sounding like an ape.
"Marshmallows! Marshmallows, marshmallows, MARSHMALLOWS!"
"Kiki, for Heaven's sake, could you calm down a minute? Besides, we came for steak!"
"Oh, come on! I have money, let's buy some marshmallows too!" she replied.
"All right, go for them while I go for the steak"
"YAY! T-thanks, Den, we'll be back!"
"Yeah, go, go..."
"I never had heard of these marshmallows, are they tasty?" inquired Zal, as they walked away.
"T-they are! You'll love them, I'm sure!"
Den sighed, shaking her head.
"Those girls... Well, now, where's the meat..."
It didn't take her enough to find the frozen food section, and also to realize that there was only one piece of meat remaining, and luckily, it was a steak. She smiled, relieved and approached, but then that luck seemed to turn, exactly when she led her hands to said steak.
"It's the last time we go out to get useless nasty human food... Heard me! THE LAST TIME!"
Den shuddered. That voice... Just that voice...
"B-b-b-but I need iiiiiiiiiit! Or I gonna exploooode!" squeaked a second one.
She held the steak tight against her chest and prepared to run, but before she could even move, that same squeaky voice let out a happy scream, as a tiny figure glomped her, what naturally made her fall to the floor.
"Well done, Gir! Now take that thing and let's get out of here once and for all!"
"Whaa? Forget it, I came first!" exclaimed Den, pushing away that weird green dog, that actually screamed happily again as it fell over a pile of cans, bringing it down. She wasn't going to return empty-handed to her terrible aunt's evil lair. Besides, there wasn't anything nice about that little moody green man, and even if he truly had any kind of exotic skin disease -that also seemed to make ears disappear-, it wasn't an excuse to be that moody.
"Wait a minute... YOU!"
And once more, he was pointing at her, so shamelessly.
"Yes, yes, me! Please, sir, didn't you get your precious revenge already?"
"So? You are still a disgusting rat AND you have stolen that stinky piece of food that I was supposed to TAKE!"
"Sir..."
"AND STOP CALLING ME LIKE THAT! I AM ZIM! I AM ZIIIIIIM!"
Den receded, lifting an eyebrow. Now he was just sounding like a spoiled brat.
"Weeell nice to meet you ZIIIIIM but I already took this meat, thanks, bye!"
Then she started running frantically, having to dodge lots of people, and trying to ignore the yells behind her.
"YOU GET BACK HERE WITH OUR STINKY MEAT! I'M GOING TO DISINTEGRATE YOU, THEN I WILL REBUILD YOU AND DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE A FILTHY EARTH RAT LIKE YOU DESERVES TO BE SMASHED TWICE! I AM ZIIIIIM!"
Den kept running, faster and faster, without even wanting to turn. She could also hear the dog's crazy screeches.
"Meat meat meat I want my meaaaaat!"
What kind of dog was it, anyway?
Some aisles later, she nearly bumped Kiki and Zal, who were leaving the sweets section with bunches of marshmallows.
"W-what happened, Den? Did you get the steak? Why are you run...?"
"Let's go, let's go, LET'S GO!"
She practically threw them outside -after paying for the stuff, of course- and gave a last look inside, to check that the scary green man wasn't following her anymore. His dog probably had gotten distracted with something else.
"Are you okay?" asked Zal worriedly.
"Now, yes..." panted Den, smiling in a very odd way "Victory is mine"
Kiki lifted her both eyebrows, glaring at her, what made her look incredibly clever.
"Sure... Let's go back to start your saccharine album, Zal!"
"Yes, let's go!"
Giggles, giggles, and more giggles. Den shrugged vaguely, with another tired smile, and followed them, as they left.
Meanwhile, in the cash register...
"Sausages, sausages, sausages, sausages, SAUSAGEEEEES!"
Zim was rolling his eyes. Even he himself couldn't believe how extremely fast was Gir to change his mind. And at the same time, he was thinking in something else.
"You know what, Gir? Maybe, just maybe I'm going crazy, but now that I saw that nasty rat closely... I have just realized that she has a quite peculiar head. I had seen something like that before... but where? WHERE?"
"I don't knooooow! Want sausages?"
"..."
Hi, I am the bold text that tells you this has just ENDED owo
Also YAY! We have just unlocked two official characters' names (?)
If liked, review, will be good for my self-esteem :3