Axel the $20 whore reference. lolz
III
"Geez, I feel like I've been raped 6 times over."
"I know you're into that kinda stuff."
"Damnit Xigbar, don't start with that again..."
I looked at him, annoyance clearly visible. A few hours ago I was mercilessly beaten by the entire Organization, save for Xigbar and Axel. I would have defended myself, but Xigbar had cast a sort of gravity spell on me, rendering me helpless as imaginary gravity pulled me down. It had worn off after the slaughter. The effects were still lingering at this point, but I was able to drag myself around as I faced my 2nd worst mission ever: Cleaning the entire castle. Axel had ditched us moments ago, probably to go bug something. So that only left Xigbar and I to tackle this mission together.
I wasn't very happy with that.
Mumbling to myself, I lugged around a broom, trying to find the least tedious way to sweep. Xigbar on the other hand...
"XIGBAR! I said pick up the books, not throw them into one giant pile! Get it right the first time dumbass!" He looked at me blankly, his one good eye swollen from the beating. He stared at me for a few seconds then shrugged, continuing on his way. My eye twitched, but I decided to let it go. Taking in a deep breath, I counted to ten, then began to sweep. My back was turned to him, for temperamental reasons. I was already pissed off as it is, and I didn't need Xigbar to make it worse...again. Silence fell upon us for God knows how long. Not that it bothered me. It was actually quite soothing.
"Why the fuck is the Library so BIG?!?" I didn't answer his whining. Sinking down to his level meant losing what shards of dignity I had left. When he didn't get the answer he probably hoped for, he decided to try another tactic to get me to respond.
"Hey dude." Silence.
"Dude...dude...hey dude." I gripped the broom tightly, fighting the urge to beat him over the head with it and keep it on the ground. Instead, I counted slowly in my head.
One...two...three...four...
"Xaldin. Hey dude. Xaldin."
Five...six...seven...ei-
"Hey Xally-kun, I got a present for ya."
I froze as a pair of scrawny arms suddenly wrapped themselves around my waist. My face turned a deep shade of red when I could feel the presence of a crotch pressed against my bum.
"Xi-Xigbar?! What the...how the...you... fuck-" I could feel his head nuzzle against my back, using his lack in height to an advantage.
"I know you like this Xally. You mumble things in your sleep, too vulgar to repeat." My shock turned to anger, ready to murder that little elf freak. Regaining my composure to some extent, I grasped his hand, trying to pry myself from his grip.
"Let go you little-" Then out of nowhere, a smell wafted into my nose, causing me to pause and analyze it. I probably shouldn't have.
"What the...? Ugh, Xigbar did you just soil yourself?!"
"No babe. But if you like that stuff then I'll be more than willing to-"
"I AM NOT YOU SICK BASTARD! NOW LET GO!!" Trying to ignore the smell, I opened his grip, taking his arms and swinging him into the nearest possible wall. I watched as his slim body hit the wall, then slump to the floor. Before he could make a move, I pinned him to the ground, straddling his hips and grasping his wrists above his head.
I was ready to yell at him, but something stopped me. His face was red, like he had been out drinking, and his eye was glazed over. He had a stupid grin on his face and seemed immune to any kind of contact except sexual.
"No Xally-kun, I wanna be on top..."
Or at least what he thought was sexual anyway. Shaking my head I got off of him, trying to think of what to do. He was obviously under the influence of something...but what? Moreover, how was he intoxicated so quickly? Just a few moments ago he was fine. In fact, he had nothing to drink since yesterday night. So what was making him so damn horny?
"Come on Xigbar, we're going to go see Marluxia about this. Maybe he can explain your sudden...likeness to me. If we're lucky, maybe he can find out what the hell that smell is too." Plugging my nose in disgust, I hauled Xigbar over my shoulder and summoned a portal. Going through, we ended up in Marluxia's greenhouse, which interestingly enough had no windows to the outside. It was all artificial, due to the fact that the castle received no sun. Everywhere else did though, and that puzzled me a bit. Ignoring the question, I looked around for the botanist. I grimaced at the area however, seeing the damage Axel and I had done. More than half of the large garden was destroyed, and the light was duller than normal. I walked in, trying to avoid further damage to the plants, and searched for pink. The smell had gotten much worse.
"Marluxia? Are you here?" I said, trying not to gag from the smell.
"Yes." came a curt reply. Turning, I saw Marluxia hunched over a desk. He had not turned to look at me, writing something in his notebook instead. I cautiously walked over, and began my explanation.
"Marluxia...do you think there's something different about Xigbar? He seems intoxicated but he hadn't had anything to drink..."
He turned around, but it wasn't what I expected.
"...Marluxia?"
His face was exactly like Xigbar's. Red with glazed eyes. He held his head in his hands, struggling to find words.
"I...don't know what...to do...I need...to...cure..." For a brief second he made a grab for me, but immediately pulled back. Then something clicked.
"It's...it's that smell isn't it?! That smell is making you guys horny as fuck!" He nodded, trying desperately to suppress his induced sexual urges.
"Do you have a cure?!" I asked quickly, trying to get as much information from him before he completely lost it.
"I...need...cure...time..." I frowned, his response not making much sense. I didn't get much time to think on it though, seeing as he suddenly clung to my leg.
"Xaldin...take me...take me now!" I pulled back, tossing Xigbar on top of him. That didn't seem to help the situation.
"Xiggy? Have you come to rescue me?" Marluxia said, batting his eyes.
"It seems that I have dear Marly." Xigbar grinned.
"I love you Xiggy!!"
"I love you too Marly!"
"Take me now! Take me hard!" They began clawing at each others clothes, not really caring who was around.
"As hard as you want babe."
I quickly made a portal out of there, unable to watch the pornographic version of Romeo and Juliet. I felt guilty, but I wasn't planning on taking the blame when they woke up from this with a sore ass. I began my search for others, starting with Vexen. His room was the farthest away from Marluxia's, so maybe it wouldn't have an affect on him. Plus the smell had lessened. Finding his door, I knocked.
"Come in..." came a reply. Obeying, I opened the door. Vexen was quietly conducting experiments with what little equipment he had left and ignored my presence. The man obviously was a workaholic, but he also seemed unaffected by the poison. That gave me something to smile about.
"Vexen...there's something weird going on..."
"Yeah?" he said uninterested. I pressed the issue.
"Yes...it seems that a poison had been released from Marluxia's plants..."
"Poison?" he asked, turning to look at me. He was much more interested now, seeing the sudden threat. I nodded, continuing.
"Yes. The poison seems to have an effect on one's sexual desires...or something like that. It leaves you helpless as the need for sex overrides your conscious." He took out a notepad, and jotted down a few notes. Looking them over, he thought for a minute.
"So what you're saying is...this is like a high does of ecstasy?"
"You can put it that way, yeah."
"I see..so that's what's been smelling weird..."he jotted down more notes, then began looking through a few books. I sighed mentally, knowing this all wasn't in my head.
"So...do you know how to cure it?" I asked. He nodded, finishing his research.
"I can cure it...but it won't take affect for a few hours. Worst case scenario is that it takes a day or so, or it doesn't work at all."
"What?!"
He glared at me, tapping his slender fingers on the operating table behind him.
"Xaldin, it's not like this sort of things happens everyday. If that were true, either Marluxia or I would have come up with a faster and more efficient solution."
I sighed, accepting the information. It wasn't like I could do any better anyways. Speaking of which...
"So...why are we not infected?" Vexen blinked at the question, then nervously laughed.
"Oh yeah...about that..." he scratched the back of his head. "The only way you can't be affected is if you've never had consensual sexual contact with someone else, or you're gay."
"Why does that not make sense?"
"Because Marluxia has an infatuation with Larxene. I know, I thought the same thing too, but I guess the pink hair was deceiving..."
"But what about Xigbar? His highly disturbing sexual innuendos and touchy feel habits scream 'I'm Gay!'..."
"Yes but he hasn't had any actual consensual sexual contact with anyone..."
"I'm surprised half of the Organization hasn't slept with him yet."
"Why, you want to?"
"NO! I am NOT gay. I already had this conversation with him yesterday." I gagged, proving my point. "Besides, I think we both know who the whore is around here."
"Yeah well, he keeps everyone entertained for 20 munny or less...not that I enjoy it."
"Me either..."
Silence fell between us again, but this time it wasn't as awkward. Vexen then took out more books, flipping through pages without so much as a glance on any of them. I shifted my weight to my other foot, unsure of what to do next. Vexen answered that question for me.
"I need you to find those who are infected. Maybe there's something on them that can help me cure it faster..." I grimaced.
"You...want me to risk my virginity?"
"Would you rather I not help you fix this?"
"No sir..."
"Good. Now find the infected, bring them here, and if you run into one that isn't infected, leave them."
"Yes master..." I said sarcastically. So much for ranks.
"Good...oh, and one more thing. You may be immune to its immediate effects, but should an infected subject exchange fluids with you in any way, you will too be infected. This includes kissing, and..."
"Yeah, I get it."
With that, I opened a portal, warping back to Romeo and Juliet. Or at least where I last left them.
"What the crap?!" I said in disgust. The two horn dogs were gone, but the remnants of their sexcapades lingered behind. I gingerly stepped past boxers, cloaks, and unmistakable bodily fluids. I gagged, despising intercourse more than I did 20 minutes ago. Looking around the garden, I tried to find something that would lead me to their unknown location. When nothing turned up, I left the room and began roaming the halls. That was a mistake.
"XALDIN!!!"
Oh shit.
Demyx had come out of nowhere, launching himself on me. Dodging his attack, I quickly grabbed at his throat. I fought my instinct to choke him.
"Xaldin! Ack! Ok ok I give!"
Cautiously I let him down, noting the normal color on his face. His eyes were as bright as ever, and he didn't make a mad grab at my unmentionables. Letting go, I watched him rub his throat.
"You're so mean Xaldin..." I grinned, but quickly replaced it with concern.
"Demyx, do you know where Xigbar and Marluxia are?" He looked up at the ceiling in thought, shaking his head seconds later.
"No dude. Why, did they take something from you?"
"No...look, something weird is going on and you have to watch yourself ok?" He looked at me with the eyes of a traumatized 5 year old.
"W-what's wrong?"
"To make it short, this fragrance is infecting everyone who has had consensual sexual contact with someone else, or aren't gay."
"Oh...yeah I noticed this funky smell in the air but I didn't know what it was..."
"Yes. I'm helping Vexen find a cure, but to do that I need to find those that are infected."
"Can I come?!" He pouted, holding his hands in a prayer like position. "Please?" I scratched at one of my sideburns.
"I don't know...well I guess so, but only because I can keep a better watch on you." He jumped in glee, hugging my arm. I was about to push him off, but I let it go: I knew I was going to face worst contact.
"So where do we start?"
"I was just roaming the halls so I guess we'll start here."
"Awesome."
We didn't talk much after that, and that was a good thing. Conversation would only lose my focus, and I wanted to be ready to fend off any sexual harassment attempts. But it didn't come as quickly as I had hoped. So in the end, Demyx and I searched the dorm rooms instead of waiting for chance to bring someone around. We began with Larxene's.
"Hello?" I said quietly, looking inside the room. It was a familiar mess, but besides that, there was no one-
"Hey, what's that?" Demyx asked, pointing to something on the ground. Following his finger, I laid my eyes upon something white. Further inspection revealed that it was a small white and gray card, the pattern on the back familiar.
"This is one of Luxord's cards..." I said flatly. Having one of his things in here either meant Larxene was infected, Luxord was infected, or they both were. I tried to narrow down the information to pinpoint the suspect.
"Have you ever seen Larxene touch anyone?" I asked Demyx. He laughed.
"Is there ever a time when I don't? She's always feeling up Marluxia, kissing him and doing things which need to be done in private..."
"Ok so that means she could have infected Luxord...unless Luxord's done anything..."
"Not really. He's usually kept to himself..." I didn't know what to make of the information. It was good that we found our potential suspect but...we also found a potential victim. Demyx seemed to understand the dilemma, and sighed along with me. Suddenly, there was a highly annoying giggle behind us. I turned only to be blinded, once again, by a flash of white hot light.
God damnit! At this point I'll be blind!!
It wasn't as bad though. In a matter of seconds, I regained my sight, and found not only the owner of the highly annoying voice, but Demyx lying flat of his stomach beside me. I stared in disbelief, and slight amusement at his body, smoke rising from it ever so lightly.
"Hey baby! You missed me?"
I rolled my eyes, looking into the drunken ones of Larxene. Her coat was hanging loosely from her shoulders and her make-up was askew. Even her sharp hair lacked it's odd perfection.
In short, she looked like a hooker. Minus the large boobs.
"No I didn't miss-"
"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Shnooky-Poo over here."
"Shnooky-poo?" I repeated, annoyance clear in my tone. But because of her oblivious state she was, well, oblivious to it. Instead she ignored my response, and bent over the clearly unconscious body of Demyx. Subconsciously I watched her put her gloves back on before touching Demyx's face. It was then that I realized why Demyx was severely burnt.
"Larxene, I hope you can comprehend what you almost did to Demyx..."
"It was a spark of love. I couldn't help it."
"It was more like a spark of death if you know what I mean..." Somehow this conversation was soothing to me. Larxene still had some kind of normal response to her, and she seemed picky as to who she'd mess around with. She then pulled Demyx in her lap, stroking his lips with feminine fingers.
"Shnooky-Poo must taste so lovely..." Before she got a chance to taste him however, I summoned a portal to Vexen's lab, and shoved her through.
I wanted to wait for Demyx to wake up, but instead I left him there, searching for others by myself. It was mean, yes, but I wasn't going to have the infected come to me. Several hours passed, and I finally made real progress. Luxord, Demyx, Zexion, Lexaeus and Saïx were not infected by the poison. Unfortunately, The Superior, Axel, Larxene, Xigbar and Marluxia were.
God, I hope this ends soon...
Hatefully, I wrestled the last of them, Axel, to the ground. He had gotten his hands inside my pants, and I was not enjoying it. For someone who was close to anorexic, he was pretty strong. I was glad he forgot how to summon his chakrams. Desperate to stop his stroking, I bent over a bit the shit out of his arm, blood splattering both of us. He hissed, retracting his arm to sooth the wound. This gave me enough room to grab him by his collar and throw him in a portal. I was about to follow, but first I zipped up my pants. A few seconds later, I was in Vexen's laboratory, eying the drugged bodies of our comrades on his operating table.
"I didn't know it was that bad..." Vexen mumbled to himself. I crossed my arms across my chest, closing my eyes.
"Just get it over with already. I think I've already lost my virginity."
"Fine, fine..." I leaned against the wall, hearing a needle poke through skin after skin, the substance squeezed through without hesitation.
"I guess now we just wait..." Vexen said, finishing the last injection. I sighed, my eyes still shut.
"Great..."
You know...I'm thinking about maybe extending one of these chapters into its own story. I guess because I hate making quick endings. Eh, oh well, I'll think on it. In the mean time, please review. 3