I obviously don't own Invader Zim, just this story and some fan-made characters! No harsh critics please, I am sensitive. Thank you!

Test Stage V

A bedroom in an attic means isolation. A locked door means isolation. A refuge under the blankets means isolation. A laptop means isolation. A web show with a weirdo talking about exorcisms... that's rather a freak in her natural habitat.

"My partner has just told me that our unlucky victim has been possessed by a demonic cow! Whaa? Really? And now it's confirmed that it's a very vengeful one!"

Den lifted an eyebrow. It was quite hard to find that believable, since the last thing she could imagine executing a possession was a cow. However, she couldn't deny that they might have many reasons to be thirsty for revenge. Specially after eating a hamburger hours ago.

"Abandon this body, thing of hell! Don't make me..."

"...SAAAAAAAAUSAGES!"

She twitched, irritated. That damned TV. Even if the door was closed, she still could hear everything. The device was particularly loud that night. She normally didn't mind but now, just now, it was interfering with an exorcism. That was enough.

Meanwhile, in the lounge, aunt Gaz's eyes were practically popping out of her head, just by seeing that commercial.

"That's right! As part of our new branch's inauguration in the mall, we're going to launch our new and exclusive pizza with sausages!"

Kiki was sitting behind, playing with Hugo the elephant and another odd plush. Then Den came in, looking pretty annoyed.

"Kiki... Could you ask... her to turn down the volume?"

"Shhh, not now. Pizza commercial"

"Oh..."

Den sighed frustratedly and went back to her bedroom. She had to remember that she had to buy headphones. Those damned pizza commercials. And that eternally damned pig. She didn't even want to think in that. It only made the nausea return.

Kiki, on the other hand, was accustomed. She could easily pretend that there wasn't any TV around. But this night would be different. Thist night, as almost always, fate had decided to be cruel.

"This wonderfully new pizza will be on sale in... 30 minutes!"

Everyone in the house reacted. Gaz's eyes became even wider and shinier. Kiki startled, already beginning to feel fear. Den screeched, but it was just because the cow had levitation powers.

Shortly afterwards, Gaz turned, with an eerie crack, to Kiki, who knew perfectly what that meant and was already gulping.

"Go to get me one of those"

The little girl shivered, playing with her hands.

"B-but..." she stuttered, looking down "I-it's late already, s-something could happen to me!"
"Don't be stupid. Murderers, kidnappers and rapists don't go out at this time. Not yet. So don't question and go. Now"

"I-it's still d-dangerous!"

The woman rolled her eyes, getting more and more impatient.

"Then ask that malformed being in the attic to go with you. If her ugliness doesn't work to frighten those men that scare you, her hyper and insane raving will do it"

"F-fine!"

"Now go before I eat you instead"

Kiki ran away, knowing how impossible was to take that as a joke.

"D-den! Deeeeeen!" she shouted, knocking the door, until she opened it a bit.

"What?"

"C-come on, we have to go to the mall!"

"To the MALL? It's eight o'clock, it's dark as hell outside!"

"That's why I want you to come! P-pleaaaaaase!"

"Oh no, I'm not coming and you shouldn't go either!"

"Y-you know? It's not like I decided it!"

"Why don't you just go and tell her that you can't?"

"..."

"Kiki?"

"That wasn't funny. Now come!"

"I'm. Not. Going. Out. For. A. Disgusting. Pizza. With. Sausages"

"Hum... Oh well... I guess I'll have to go alone..." moaned Kiki, walking away.

"Don't worry! You'll be safe if you go through the subway"

"Yes, yes... the subway..."

Then she stopped, next to the stairs, and turned, to make sure that Den had left the door of her bedroom half-opened.

"I guess I'll have to deal with the zombie crocodile alone!"

And then, just as she expected, she came back immediately.

"W-what?"

"Oh! Were you still listening? I'm sorry!"

"What did you say?"

Kiki shook her head, simulating anguish.

"Just something Zal told me the other day, but I don't think you care"

"Well, depends. Did you mention a... zombie crocodile or I'm wrong?"

"Indeed, I did. I thought you knew about that monster! I mean, it lives in the subway"

"Reaaaally? An undead reptile in a subway, makes perfect sense"

"So does a demonic cow, right?"

"First, it was a vengeful cow. Second, they were in a farm. While there's no water in subway stations, so that would have sounded more logical if you would have said that it lives in the sewers instead"

"Think what you want but that zombie crocodile is real! Zal told me she saw it lots of times! And she has friends who saw it too!"

"And what's so worrying about that? Are you afraid to be eaten or something?" snickered Den.

"Stop mocking, I'm truly scared!"

"For the evil cow's sake, Kiki, there's no zombie crocodile in the subway!"

"How can you be so sure? You never took it!"

"I did when I moved here..."

"During the day! It's not the same thing!"

"Seriously, Kiki, I thought you were smarter!"

"What's so wrong? Can't I be afraid of being devoured before arriving to the mall? Huh?"

Den facepalmed, taking the tiny girl's hand and walking downstairs.

"Look, I'm going to go with you and you'll see there's nothing like that zombie crocodile. You'll see!"

"Good idea! You could frighten it if it appears!"

"..."

"I-I was just kidding... Thank you!"

"Don't mention it..."

And since Den was entirely distracted in that zombie crocodile matter, she couldn't even notice that Kiki was giggling naughtily behind her.

Time later, both were at the subway station.

"Gnnnnn! W-why is the train delaying s-so much?"

"I don't know, maybe the crocodile ate it"

"D-don't be sarcastic! It confuses me!"

"Whatever... We have been here for a while and I didn't see anything around"

"Y-you fool! The zombie crocodile never attacks in the station!"

"Maybe because it doesn't friggin' exist?"

"A-are you going to leave so soon?"

"Forget it, here comes the train"

The girls entered and sat down, Kiki still pretending to be scared.

"I can't believe we're doing this for a pizza" mumbled Den tiredly, resting her head against the seat.

"Cheer up, you could see the crocodile!"

"For a twentieth time... and I'm counting them... there's no crocodile"

At least the journey would be long, enough long for a nap. So Den closed her eyes and...

"Whaa? Really? 30 seconds?"

"Yeah! That cursed commercial was wrong and they didn't even bother in fixing it!"

"Oh man, that must suck..."

"And how! I went to the mall in vain! They already sold them all!"

She startled abruptly, but before she could stand up, those guys had descended, the doors had closed, and the vehicle had started to move.

"Kiki... Kiki, did you hear that?"

"N-not noooow I'm trying to s-sleeep..."

"They sold them all... They sold them all!"

"W-what?"

"We have to get out of here in the next station and go home!"

"A-are you kidding me? We can't return empty-handed and you know it!"

"Oh, come on! We already tried!"

"N-no! Wait!"

However, after the subway stopped, Den ran outside frantically, so Kiki had to follow her.

"Weeeell... Nooow where are we?" asked Den, looking around, once they were back in the streets.

"T-that doesn't matter! We must get that pizza!" cried Kiki, waving her tiny arms desperately.

"Could you forget the pizza already? We have to go home!"

"Not until we get it! At least a normal one, and then we could buy sausages and spread them over it!"

"Yeah, sure... Both will pass flying to then land next to us in five seconds"

"R-r-reaaaally?"

"My God, Kiki, I was being...! Huh?"

"What?"

Den turned, while Kiki was doing the same, right when that luminous flying thing was enough close.

"PIIIIIZZAAAAAA WITH SAAAAAAUSAAAAAGEEEEES!"

"GAAAAAAAH SLOW DOWN GIIIIIIR!"

And then it disappeared, as fast as it came, followed by a noisy crash.

The girls were still there, astonished, until Den reacted with a violent twitch.

"Geez! Did you see that? Did you see THAT?" she squeaked.

"Yes, I did!" exclaimed Kiki happily "I-it was the neighbor! And seems that he bought one of those pizzas with sausages! We could ask him kindly to give it to us!"

"..."

"W-what? Wasn't that what you were t-thinking?"

"The dog! The dog was FLYING! FLYING!"

"Uhuh... So?"

Den frowned, to then take the tiny girl by her both shoulders and shake her insanely fast.

"GREEN SHORT MAN IN A GREEN TALKING DOG THAT FLIES! FLIES, GODDAMNIT!"

"S-s-s-sooo? Y-y-you are f-f-frightening meee!"

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! It's not any delusion, Kiki! It's not ANY delusion! I wasn't losing my mind as that ignorant of the psychiatrist said!" shouted Den, now sounding ridiculously glad.

"Aaaah just let's go for the pizza already!" groaned Kiki.

Then they followed the smoke trace, that led them to a dumpster, where they had landed.

"I... will... guess... Tuna?"

"Noooo! Cheese!"

"..."

"E-excuse me..."

Both master and minion looked up.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? GO AWAY! GET OUT OF HERE YOU NOSY EARTH MONKEY!"

"E-eek! I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" moaned Kiki nervously, shivering.

"I like that earth monkey! Can we take it hooome? Pleaaaaaase?"

"No, Gir, you already have your damned pizza, SHUT UP!"

"Y-yes, that! I-I'm sorry, sir, b-but... C-could you..."

But before she could finish, a high scream, that almost sounded like a seagull, interrupted her. And then Den jumped over Zim and kicked him in the jaw.

"AAAAH! YOU!"

"SILENCE!" she snapped "You... you... YOU SPACELING!"

"W-what? WHAT?"

"Ohohohoho YES! You can't fool me anymore with your skin disease, Mister Cranky Neighbor!"

"What the hell are you talking about! GET AWAY!"

"I said SILENCE!"

Then she lifted a hand, in which she was holding one of his fake eyes, and now she was shaking it in front of his face.

"What are you going to say about this? Huh? Huh? Prosthesis? Contacts, maybe?"

"GIVE ME THAT!"

"What about your hair? Is it real, at least?"

She was going to try to pull it out, but he pushed her violently first, tossing her to the floor.

"Even having a brain, you're one of the most defective things I ever SEEN!"

"AND YOU... wait, what?"

"I don't even know why am I worrying! I could find a pig more dangerous than you!"

He stood up and, before she could get up, he pushed her again, making her drop the fake eye, so he took it and put it back in his face with a snicker.

"GIR! Let's get out of here, NOW!"

He was walking away, when Den stood up quickly, to then run towards him and put her leg on his way. Effectively, he didn't even notice it and tripped with it, falling noisily to the floor.

"I truly doubt a pig can do that!" she exclaimed, and then started to laugh.

"CURSE YOU, FILTHY CREATURE! CURSE YOUUUUU!"

"Ooooh sure that sounds menacing! I'm so so scared now!"

"AAARGH YOU WILL PAY!"

"I WANNA SEE YOU TRY IT!"

The following seconds, they just slapped and kicked each other incessantly, with some furious shrieks.

"GIR! I NEED REINFORCEMENT HERE!"

Silence.

"GIR?"

In that moment, both remembered that they weren't completely alone and turned. Indeed, there was Gir, handing the pizza to Kiki with a grin.

"O-oh! T-thank you!" she said joyfully, taking it and walking away.

"GIR! WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?"

"I liked that earth monkey!" moaned the little robot.

"YOU were the one who made me LEAVE the base to go to that STUPID mall, then HAVE to WAIT in that STUPIDLY LONG LINE for that STUPID pizza and now you just GIVE it to that STUPID HUMAN?"

"..."

"GIR?"

"But but but I liked that earth monkeeeeeey!"

"!"

Somewhere else, and a while later, Gaz was eating her pizza with sausages in front of the TV.

"I-it was really easy! You were right, there's nothing to be afraid of!"

And there was Kiki, telling everything happily and hugging Hugo so tight that his head seemed to be about to pop out.

"Although..." she added, hesitating "I-I think I forgot something... I-isn't there something missing?"

The creepy woman shrugged.

"If it's not important then it doesn't matter"

Meanwhile, at the subway station...

"What's going on here? Leave that poor kid alone! You little bully! Didn't your parents teach you to be polite? Do you have anything against green children? Freaky brat! I'm going to call the police!"

And so, Den continued imitating the squeaky voice of the annoying lady that had made her give up and go away, letting the damned alien go.

"Stupid blind ignorant adults..." she groaned to herself, turning to the tunnel "And why is the train delaying so much?"

And then she heard a deep noise, coming from the depths. But it didn't sound like the train. It was rather a growl. Den's eyes widened, as she looked everywhere, and the cold sweat began to slip over her forehead.

"Hello?"

Another growl blared, and an enormous figure emerged from the darkness.

"A-anybody!"

A really really huge crocodile.

And then lights went off :D

If liked review! xD

Will be truly appreciated :3