SONG: Power of Love- Celine Dion
"How could an Angel break my heart? Why didn't he catch my falling star? I wish I didn't wish so hard. Maybe I wished our love apart."- Toni Braxton.
For You I Will…
Tessa stirred, something soft was tickling her ear. "Hmm…stop that" she mumbled sleepily.
"Tess, I am really bored. Wake up"
Will's voice fell on her ears like some beautiful symphony. Immediately all sleep deserted her and her eyes were wide open. She rubbed her ears and looked at him questioningly. In answer he ran his forefinger softly across the inner curve of her ear.
"That really tickled" Tessa said rubbing her ears again.
"Had to wake up my belle dame" he remarked moving on to caress her velvety cheeks.
"How long have you been awake, Monsieur?"
"quarter of an hour or so…for a few moments I enjoyed watching you sleep but then I figured it would be more fun if you were awake and talking to me."
Tessa smiled. The previous night's events came rushing back to her mind gaining her magnolia white face a roseate colour. Presently, she felt so safe and happy. There were few incidents that made one feel more comfortable and secure than being tucked away with the person you loved most. She snuggled into him, the body scent of grapefruit and cypress wood wafting from him filling her with some strange serenity.
"What was the dream about?" she asked, her lips moving against his bare chest.
"Well…It was mostly about you" he said with a strange expression. "In the dream I had experienced a rather tiring day after killing three shax demons. Three and a half to be accurate but Jem delivered the finishing blow to the last one and being a good friend I allowed him the credit. I returned to the institute ravenous and immediately demanded Sophie to make me some pudding. As I sat down to enjoy the delicacy, already anticipating the rich taste you appeared out of thin air and snatched the spoon away from my hand. The disturbing part was that you had quite hairy knuckles and a rather large moustache. You leaned in to place your lips on mine but I moved away utterly surprised. However, you did not give up. Your body transformed into a demon but your face was your own and the moustache had disappeared. You sat opposite me and I decided that out of good manners I should share my pudding with you." He sighed with relief "I woke up with my heart thundering in my chest and thankfully realized you were no demon."
Tessa remained in polite silence for a moment before saying "A strange dream indeed. Would you like me to interpret it for you?"
"You can try…but warlocks do not have such abilities. The interpretation of dreams can only be done by very few of the silent brothers. Did you know that Charlotte's uncle was visited by an angel in a dream and the silent brothers interpreted it to be-"
"Will" Tessa interrupted impatiently "allow me correct my choice of words. Would you like me to tell you what I think the dream suggested?" She did not wait for his answer. "I think this dream represents your true love for me. I imagine that despite my demon form you loved me and it was not good manners but pure affection that led you to share the pudding. Oh! How lucky I am to have you?" she quipped with feigned sweetness.
Will stared at her unable to suppress the small smile forming on his lips. "It was merely a dream. Why do I sense anger in your voice?"
"Well! Did you expect me to blissfully accept that you saw me as half a man and then a demon in your dream? I would have liked you to have dreamt of me as a princess or perhaps an angel" Tessa complained sulkily.
Will put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. "Princesses, Tess, are too fat due to the amount of food they consume and angels…well I have never seen one. However, neither of them could ever match the kind of beauty I see in you."
"And…what kind of beauty is that?" she asked propping up one elbow and resting her head on the palm of her hand.
Will cleared his throat, gained a grave expression and recited rather dramatically:
EXULTING BEAUTY, phantom of an hour,
whose magic spells enchain the heart,
Ah! what avails thy fascinating pow'r,
Thy thrilling smile, thy witching art?
Thy lip, where balmy nectar glows;
Thy cheek, where round the damask rose
A thousand nameless Graces move,
Thy mildly speaking gray eyes,
Thy golden hair, where wonderful Love
In many a mazy ringlet lies?
"I do not know any further since I had only read so far and gotten bored but it suggests how I see you."
"How beautifully you charm a woman. It makes me think you must be capable of charming the devil himself"
Will shrugged. "A God given gift, I suppose"
They kissed before Will stated that this might be the best time for him to sneak back to his room to avoid suspicion. Almost instantly, Tessa's eyes dimmed and her smile faded.
"Must you leave now? It has been such a wonderful morning"
"I can stay if you wish. It is you who is against our relationship being exposed"
"Yes, you must leave" She said tiredly "I do not want you facing troubles from the clave"
Will looked as if he were about say something but decided against it. Tessa turned away as he dressed and shut her eyes when he walked out, the sound of the door shutting so firm and final that it sent a stab of pain through her heart. She wondered why she was hurting at his temporary absence when soon enough she would meet with him at breakfast. Smiling to herself she sat up to go get dressed.
When Tessa arrived for breakfast she witnessed what she did every morning; Jessamine arguing with Will, Jem speaking with Sophie while she poured him tea and Charlotte scolding Henry. Today she noticed Henry looked rather down. As she walked toward the long table she heard him complaining to his wife "I am so sorry darling, it pains me to inform you that the Branwell pistol is a failure. I was making that in your honour. It was supposed to hold wooden bullets to kill vampires but…"
"It is alright, Henry. You can always try to invent other things. I am not in the least sad or angry."
Henry's head was down in shame and his long sleeves were ripped in some places. Tessa did not wish to know how that had happened.
"Good Morning Tessa" Jessamine said with a certain harshness to her tone. She looked lovely as always. Her enormous amount of golden hair like silk tassels was down past her shoulders and her lips seemed redder than usual, almost like ripened strawberries.
"Good Morning Jess, you do not sound very happy"
"Now that is really surprising, is it not?" Will mocked. Everybody was aware of how unhappy Jessamine truly was in the institute. She called it a prison and could not wait to catch a mundane husband so she could fly to freedom as she would put it.
"Tessa, I heard that Miss Westfall humiliated you yesterday and you just let it pass."
"Well humiliation would be exaggeration but yes she did look down on me. However, I did not think it would be wise to slight any shadowhunter when the silent brothers are constantly suspicious of me."
"Well, you slighted me" Will said and smiled in a lopsided manner.
"That was different and you deserved it" she replied conscious of her cheeks burning up. She had used a profanity against him but she chided herself everyday so she may never do it again. A lady must never forget her good manners and must keep all emotions under control as her Aunt Harriet used to say.
"Well," Jessamine said observing the mysterious smiles which Will and Tessa exchanged "That is no excuse. I have a plan to get back at her."
"I do not think that would be good idea" Tessa commented immediately.
"Besides Jess" Jem spoke up for the first time that morning "It is not entirely for Tessa that you want revenge on Miss Westfall but for your own purposes. I know that you two do not get along very well."
Jess flushed. "I…So what? It will be for Tessa and I both"
"What are you going to do Jess? Pull her hair and stick out your tongue at her?" Will enquired feigning interest.
"No! My plan consists of something more mature which of course someone as immature as you would not understand"
"Of course, your half-witted strategies would be beyond my understanding" he mocked yet again.
Jessamine became angry then and asked Charlotte to interfere. Jem and Tessa smiled at each other. The two of them found arguments between Will and Jess rather amusing.
"Tessa, you will help me, will you not?" Jess asked.
"Jessamine, when I was a child I reasoned like one but now that I have grown up I would like to put all the childish ways behind. Let us not discuss this anymore. Besides, Will, my gallant knight stood up for me" she said smiling.
Everybody stared at Tessa, their expressions strange apart from Will who had one eyebrow raised. Tessa's heart clashed like cymbals when she realized what she had said.
"And finally it is out in the open! Honestly, dear Tessa I wondered how long the two of you would hide the true relationship you shared. I have known for a long, long time" Jessamine boasted, her soft brown eyes gleaming.
"They have not been courting for a long, long time, Jess. But we have known for a while" Jem said smiling.
Charlotte looked worried for a moment and emphasized yet again that it must be kept a secret for good reasons. It was only Brother Enoch who knew about Will seeing Tessa and he had not been too bothered by it. As long as they did not have any improper intimacies which could prove dangerous since Tessa's true origins and the fact that she was sterile was in still in doubt. Brother Enoch even viewed it as positive that Tessa's weakness was a shadowhunter. She was not consciously a threat but her powers were something rare that had never been seen before. What she did not know about herself had to be discovered.
Tessa's face was so flushed that it looked like it might explode. She was shy for a moment but soon recovered composure. Everybody, even Henry seemed happy, seemingly apart from Will. He did not contribute any words about his involvement with Tessa. Instead, he ate quietly as if suddenly he had lost interest in having a conversation.
"Tessa, I would like to speak with you after breakfast." Charlotte said with certain concern.
While Sophie cleared the dishes, Tessa and Charlotte walked to the library in silence. As the older woman opened the large wooden doors a figure clad in a black cape floated past them and stopped by the large fireplace inside the massive library. Charlotte and Tessa exchanged glances.
"Brother Enoch, You are early" Charlotte said as she rushed toward the hooded figure.
Tessa followed with a sense of dread. These brothers who were considered so important looked to her like devil's advocates. Who would mutilate themselves? Surely self harm like that should be considered a sin. Tessa had never admitted to anyone yet but she had wondered if these brothers ever married. Sadness filled her at the thought of the woman who had to see that distorted face everyday not to mention touch it. She watched with interest, Charlotte and the brother staring at each other. They were talking through telepathy. The brother could not speak since he had his lips sewn shut; it looked dry and scaly like a lizard's skin.
"Tessa" Charlotte suddenly said "the brother would like to speak with you"
She was about to agree when with a start she realized something. She could not speak with the brother, not right now. Though the brother knew of her relationship with Will, he did not know of the forbidden act they had committed. She shook her head and hurried towards the exit hoping the brother would not float behind her. Charlotte surprised, excused herself and followed the worried girl.
"Tessa, what is the matter? Brother Enoch wishes to speak with you"
"I cannot, Charlotte. Please do not ask me why"
"But you must! The brother wants to ask you a few questions. If you refuse it will only raise suspicions."
"What are you women whispering to each other?" Will asked, suddenly appearing at the doorway of the library.
"Please talk some sense into this girl! She does not want to speak with Brother Enoch"
"I cannot blame her, I find him quite an uninteresting person myself" Will said.
"Will! Please be serious" Charlotte urged. "I shall go tell the brother you will be ready in a few minute so please compose yourself Tessa"
As Charlotte walked away, Will said "You are worried that he will find out what happened yesterday night."
"Yes! If that brother finds out you could be accused of breaking the law. I know they consider me a prisoner in this institute until they decide what I truly am. You will not be allowed to court me even in secret."
"I will take care of it. For now, instead of worrying about me, just go and answer his questions."
Tessa stared at him concern creasing her forehead.
"Go on!" Will urged.
As the two of them neared the fireplace, Brother Enoch lifted his head that he kept bowed most times. Tessa bravely saw the scarred and ugly face, her unflinching gaze holding his. Surprisingly though, he jerked his hand forward as if he were about stab someone and motioned Will to step forward.
Tessa watched impatiently as Will and the brother stared at each other. She suddenly wished she could read minds so she could hear what they were discussing. Will's eyes unexpectedly became dark; a cold stream of anger running through them and the brother's expression as usual was unreadable.
After the longest moments of Tessa's life, the brother took a step back, folded his arms behind his back and floated his way outside the library with Charlotte hurrying behind him. Tessa almost asked if he wanted to speak to her but bit down on her lip to keep the words escaping. Her heart was as tight as a fist. A part of her did not want to hear what the brother had told Will. If he were in any trouble, she thought angrily, she would go seek out the brother and speak to him herself.
"Do not get yourself unduly worried. He will speak to you on a later date. You are not in any trouble" he said flatly but it was easy to discern the fury boiling behind those words.
"What about you, Will? You are not in any trouble, I hope."
"No, I am not." he said running his hand through his hair.
"Well, did he know? I mean…what did you say about us?" she asked carefully. He looked irate and Tessa knew that something was terribly wrong. Yet again she sensed like she had many a time before that Will was hiding something. She had tried numerous times to ask him but the matter was always brushed away with some sarcastic comment.
"I told him that it did not mean anything. You were available and I had nothing better to do and I shall deal with whatever consequences that arise."
Tessa absorbed the words quietly. Of course he had to say something like that to a member of the clave. She understood. "Did he believe you?" she asked hopefully.
"Yes, he did. It was partly true after all" he said coldly.
Tessa stared at him. She wondered if the brother was hiding in some corner listening to their conversation; only that could be a possible explanation for what Will had just said. She looked around before her eyes met Will's. He looked angry, the muscles in his cheeks and jaw taut enough to outline the bone. Tessa felt an icy pang settle in her spine. Why did he look furious? What had Brother Enoch said to him? Why did he say what he just did?
"Will…I-"
"You know I care about you. I care about you more than I might have cared about anybody" he cut in. "However my feelings are not enough to accept you completely. I cannot put my life as a shadowhunter in jeopardy for you. You understand, I hope."
Tessa felt like the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She parted her lips to speak but then immediately closed them again. After a few moments she managed to gather herself together.
"I understand…but of course once they decide that I am not dangerous we can be together officially. The clave would not oppose that." She was irritated now, wondering why she allowed the clave to rule her life. But she had to if she wanted to be with Will. It annoyed her how she had to keep her love life a secret from the Enclave because Brother Enoch had told her so-"It would damage the little reputation he has left and there is a high chance that other shadowhunters may not agree and wish for him to leave like his father did. Besides as much as the clave does not oppose the rare cases a shadowhunter courts a downworlder you cannot forget you are different." Tessa could not have argued with that.
"No, but I am afraid you do not completely gather what I am telling you. I cannot court a downworlder, something that is not only hellish in origin but is beguiling to the very bone."
A moment of unnerving silence passed before, to will's surprise, Tessa laughed; an excruciatingly mirthless sound.
"Please Will; tell me this is one of those cruel and mocking jokes that you are so skilled in making. Tell me it is and I will laugh, I promise."
"I am sorry Tess but it is not…You asked me why I had been distant earlier and well, now you have your answer. As for yesterday night it was a mistake…" he said and walked out unable to stand there and watch Tessa any longer. He moved with great difficulty as if walking were a difficult manoeuvre. He had lied to her, lied inside out. But she had believed him, believed his hurriedly made up lies. He did not give a damn whether she was a downworlder or not. But he had been foolish and weak. He should not have done what he did yesterday night. He had no right to do that to her. But he could not deny that that was the happiest he had been in a long time. He had woken up in the morning and been swayed by her beauty, her loving warmth that he had entirely forgotten that he should have left by dawn, like he had planned earlier. Once again, he had been close to telling his secret- that which destroyed him every time he thought about it. But he needed to leave Tessa for her own good. It was funny he thought, how in the agony of parting he looked into the depths of his love. He wondered if he was being a coward by lying or brave enough to stay away from the woman he loved.