Connor's secret- chapter 2- suicide
I kind of had to continue writing this. I had no choice on the matter, I wanted to put what happened into words. And I thought you'd want to know... It took time because my muse is still feeling poorly as am I, so I hope all in all it is good...
Abby collected her car keys, and looked around sadly. She never thought something like this could have ever happened to them; but it had and there was nothing she could have done to prevent it. She hadn't known Connor's past, she overlooked the importance of it... until now. Abby silently locked the door and ran out into the streets, it was now raining heavily and she was irritated and scared (and still upset) on the events on the past day.
She shivered as she left the building- they should never have fought against him. She shouldn't have done that! She shouldn't have even asked there, or even gone there. She had made a stupid mistake. She had to find Connor; at all costs. Whatever happened, she had to help him. But she didn't know what she would have to do to find him...
At all costs...
Becker and Jess had been surprised by the call to tell them what had happened with Connor. They'd been enjoying a meal at Becker's large apartment when it happened- nobody had expected it, least of all at that moment. Jess wished the call never happened. One; for the sake of Connor; and also rather selfishly that Becker had asked her around his house for tea. That had to imply something! Jess knew it did...
But Jess broke her mind away from that horrible thought. She had to help find Connor- and stop thinking like this! She had more important thing than Becker right now.
Connor could be in trouble... he could be hurt!
Yes; Becker was important, but he was safe. She'd be able to come round his house again. Actually she was planning to anyway...
She knew; she knew that Abby was the only one who would be able to find him, so she'd help as best as she could.
Connor sat there dangling his legs over the edge of the tower block crying weakly, he couldn't bare this... Connor stared down at the busyness below. They were lucky- they were all so uncaring; they didn't even worry about this...
It was the same block that he'd nearly jumped off when he was younger. Tom had managed to stop him, why wasn't he here now. He'd be able to help; he always was good at that kind of thing... Then he'd died to, like everyone did, they died or left.
Connor couldn't do it here now- there were too many people, Abby would find out in the most terrible way... he just couldn't bear that! Abby, Abby; she'd let him down and it was the final straw...
He'd done everything he could to help her- now he sat on a ledge with bruises all over his face and a now broken heart...
So Connor walked steadily down the stairs and out the building... Carefully making sure nobody saw him in the building. If he got arrested for trespassing then he'd be stuffed... everyone would find a way to prevent him from doing the unthinkable. They'd lock him up; at least he'd be with his Mum...
Connor walked across the busy street and looked around... He'd never see these streets again.
He turned on his phone on- he knew it was reckless but he had to find out.
He had to find out what they were doing to find him.
Whether they were going to come and help.
Whether they were actually worried at all.
He looked as his phone and frowned as he saw all the missed calls and messages on his phone. Most of them were from Abby he realised. Then he heard the phone ringing. He lifted it silently to his ear and smiled; he walked into an alleyway and pressed the answer button. He nearly cried out as he heard... everyone.
He heard Lester being his normal witty self saying that he couldn't leave as he had work to get on with and things to brake. Becker telling him that he had to come home as fast as he could and stop being stupid. Then he heard so many voices, he frowned once more and just hung up. They would never give up on him. They would never forgive him for what he was doing.
If he went back like they wanted him to, he would never, never forget that they'd all know...
Connor turned his phone off and continued to walk. He decided the places he'd have to see one last time...
Where they had all died, where his mum was now, where they were buried, where Tom's grave was, where everything has started so perfectly... It was all so overwhelming. It would finally, finally get out there and Abby would know.
Abby grinned to herself; she knew it wasn't the right time to be grinning like she was now. But she had got Jess to open Connor's closed files. The one's he'd closed with a password at the old ARC before anyone had even a chance to peek. Jess had refused to look and was still condemning the idea to look into it. Jess was standing at a distance, ashen faced and deeply concerned. This wasn't right!
Abby could barely bring herself to read it- but she had to. She knew it now, she understood. It's why he's like he is and why he acts like he does. She knew he'd go to where it mattered most to him.
So Abby started to go to them, seeing whether or not Connor had already been there. If Abby knew he hadn't then she placed an ARC guard to make sure to stop him if he did. She went to the hospital, the tower block. Where he'd lived, then to the strongest of all places, where he'd watched his family die... It must have scarred him deeply, they'd found him still rocking his sister in his arms, she was barely a toddler when it happened.
Then Abby went to where Tom and Duncan had lived. But there was no sign of anything. Maybe he hadn't gone back to the past. Maybe he couldn't go back and live in the past... So Abby went and called in on Duncan, the only properly living aspect of his childhood. If you call him alive? He's not exactly sane. He's still so fractured and confused by Tom's death.
Abby had barely been able to get in to talk to him, he told her that she should show him her passport or car licence so he knew it was her. She knew that Connor was renting a small flat out for Duncan, but was surprised to see how sane he was now. But he didn't tell her much; he just gave her Connor's phone. The last aspect of Connor, they'd never be able to find him now... or alive at least.
"What did he say?" Abby asked, she frowned up at Duncan.
Duncan just averted his gaze, he didn't like this conversation. But he'd seen Connor, and now at least Connor was content; he was going to be there soon. Finally he'd be with his family and friends. He'd be at peace like he'd always wanted. He'd be free, just like he talked about when he was younger... Duncan smiled at the idea, at least he'd be happy, and that was al he cared about. Even though he had tried to convince him, he knew it was pointless. This was what Connor wanted. He needed this. Finally Duncan broke the silence and smiled lightly up at her. "He said that I had to tell you something," Duncan told her.
"What!"Abby cried nearly going insane at all this waiting around- it wasn't helping Connor. She couldn't let him do this to himself, she just wouldn't let him.
"He told me that you should give up now, there's nothing you can do. Just grieve, you'll find your future as he has found his..." Duncan told her looking up apologetically.
"Why didn't you stop him? You did before!" Abby cried a dark flush spreading over her face. It was now a mix of sadness and despair; she was running out of time. Connor knew where it was ending. It was so unfair. So unfair.
"I can't. It was Tom who did really. He's lost everything again, there's nothing I could do to help," Duncan stated. He walked over to carefully brush dust off a picture of them when they were younger; all on a holiday together. Abby could tell it was Duncan, Tom and Connor with Connor's siblings by the water side. They were all smiling, the same smile that Connor always had. Had, she'd said had. Then a thought sprang to mind, if they hadn't died, then what would Connor be like now? Would he be even happier if that was possible? What if he never joined the ARC? Then everything would be so very different...
Abby stared at Duncan, she'd let Connor down, she knew she had.
Connor sat for a second to catch his breath. He'd caught a bus most the way here then walked the rest. He was hot and sweating now and really tired. He decided when he'd seen Duncan (and told him what he had) that he had to go somewhere which related to his new life. Or the one before the cretaceous.
He'd planned at first to go to the Forest Of Dean where he had first met Abby, but then turned against it... He then decided to go to where he'd camped the night with Abby.
Connor closed his eyes; he'd been in this exact spot all those years ago. Damn his allergies, that's probably why he'd messed up that time! Connor just decided to walk deeper into the forest for a little bit. But as long as he didn't get lost- that would be good but what if his plan failed him?
Connor knew that they would think he was going the other way as he'd bought something with his credit card at the other side of London.
Connor recognised it once more; he thought it was good enough. He was right beside the river... where Abby had put him down.
Connor knew, it had to be here. And he knew Abby was closing in on him, even though she didn't know it yet...
What d'you think? Well I swear to you next chapter with have the solution to this story... Hope you like it.