Christmas come early? Nope. Just a fast update.

Out of everything I've ever written, this is probably one of my favorite scenes. Enjoy my chaotic take on Will Darcy's wedding and I'm sorry if it's a bit... messy. (Not just the typos... sorry about those, new keyboard...)

Tell It Like It Is

Chapter 22

Lizzy followed the waddling footsteps of her best friend down the aisle and took a seat much too close to the front for her liking. She smiled nervously at her best friend and tried to suppress her instant urge to look up at the altar in hopes that Will wasn't there.

"Why is his face all red?" Erin asked and Lizzy suppressed an urge to giggle as Will shifted uncomfortably in the presence of Lizzy's old high school crush, Fitz Darcy, who was muttering something to Will. "He looks like he's going to be sick," Erin added, her voice going from playful to maternal worry.

"Maybe we should move a few rows back, in that case," Lizzy added cheekily, but Erin ignored her as her husband blew her a kiss and an over the top wink on his trip down the aisle.

Erin grabbed Lizzy's hand and linked their fingers. "That was the signal Lizzy. This is really going to happen," Erin added. Lizzy had the feeling that Erin was more nervous about the upcoming proceedings than she was. In fact Lizzy was starting to feel a bit relieved; no matter how she felt about Will, she absolutely refused to like anyone that could marry a cow like Melanie Slaide.

"Let's hope," she breathed through her teeth and untangled her fingers from Erin's. She always thought it was a bit weird when girls held hands and today was no exception. If anything it was an even worse day to be caught holding hands with a girl; she needed to appear completely aloof and relaxed; unfazed. Across the aisle she noticed Will's bitchy mom, who would be more than happy to label Lizzy a lesbian in wake of her son's marriage; that woman was reason enough to be glad she wasn't with Will anymore.

Finally, the room grew silent and the blasé string quartet picked up a bit as everyone turned to watch the cute little flower girls toss their petals into the hair of the women sitting directly next to the aisle and a million flashes of light as everyone snapped picture after picture.

First down the aisle was a girl that looked a lot like Melanie's bitchy secretary and Lizzy found it slightly pathetic that her bridesmaids were all people on her company payroll. Well, except Georgie, who came next and was practically dragged down the aisle by Fitz and scowled at her brother the entire time, her face no longer blotchy and her hair tied up gracefully. Will shifted nervously and loosened his tie as his face reddened again.

"I'm sensing that Georgie isn't all that excited by her new sister in law," Lizzy muttered to Erin, smiling evilly, but Erin just swatted at her and made a poignant hushing face as her husband began his walk down the aisle with his arm linked with an aloof looking red head that spent the entire walk staring at the ceiling.

Then the music switched and there at the end of the aisle stood Melanie Slaide covered in white. Like that woman should be allowed to wear white, Lizzy thought and gave a soft snort that caused all the people around them to look in their direction, including Fitz who shot Lizzy a repressed grin that showed he also found humor in the situation. By the time Lizzy had composed herself again and looked back up at the people around her, her face was red and Melanie Slaide was already taking the hand of her fiancé as he shot Lizzy a couple of quick glances and shifted again. She was making a scene and the look on his now vibrantly red face made her crack again as she quickly covered her mouth and slid lower on the bench.

She was officially losing it and every face in the room shot to her as she snorted even louder. Fitz, on the altar, was clearly covering his own laughter as if it were a cough and placed his hand in front of his cheeky grin. Erin quickly rubbed Lizzy's back trying to soothe her and Eddie elbowed Fitz in the ribs, causing him to peel over and a chuckle to escape. Georgie finally stopped glaring at Will and let out a giggle of her own. Melanie, however, was determined to ignore all of them as she dragged Will, who was still staring at Lizzy as if she were mad, up to the priest and motioned for him to start.

"Dearly beloved," the priest began and all three of the laughing guests lost it again in unison, but the priest merely raised his voice and continued. "We are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony." Georgie was no longer trying to hide her giggles and just as the priest said "holy" she threw her head back in a cackling laughter that even made guests in the back of the room giggle. Mrs. Darcy shot glares around the room at anyone she saw even crack a smile, specifically Georgie and Lizzy.

Melanie glared at the priest and moved her hand to indicate he go a bit faster. His voice grew even louder as he turned to Will. "William Darcy, do you promise to take this woman, Melanie Slaide, as your wedded wife for forever and eternity?"

Will visibly blanched and suddenly all color drained from his face. He hesitated for a period of time that wasn't unnaturally long, but seemed like eternity with all the people staring and giggling. He heard Fitz whisper, "Don't forget my offer," and then heard him laugh again to his right. "Um," Will stuttered, casting a very angry looking Melanie a look. "Okay," he finally finished pathetically and tugged his tie loose again.

"Liar," Georgie coughed into her hand. Lizzy couldn't help but giggle again. Melanie glared at Georgie and ignored Lizzy completely, who was now just trying to catch her breath as Erin shot panicked looks at her husband, who was also smiling a bit too broadly for the situation. Mrs. Darcy looked as though she might strangle Georgie.

"And Melanie," the priest continued even louder, "do you take this mad- I mean man, William Darcy, as your wedded wife- I mean husband, for forever and erm… eternity?" The entire room practically erupted with laughter. The priest was starting to panic. He shot quick looks around the room and tried to loosen his own tie, but as a priest he doesn't actually wear one.

"Would you people shut up?" Melanie bellowed her face now red in anger. Will looked as though he might just faint. "Ask the question again, and ask it right," she demanded of the priest as the room quickly fell silent at her biting tone. Lizzy leaned forward; she was now literally on the edge of her seat. The priest cast another panicked glance around the room and hesitated too long for Melanie' liking. "You know what? Never mind, fuck it! Will Darcy there is no way I will marry you and your barbaric friends!" she shouted even louder than her commands and her face more closely resembled the animal she'd turned into that day Lizzy had met her in the office.

"Thank god!" a voice in the back shouted as Christian stood up excitedly.

"Sit back down," Melanie commanded Christian as she began to storm down the aisle. Lizzy watched with excitement in her eyes as she felt Erin grab tightly to her forearm as if she might stand up and beat the hell out of Melanie. As if Lizzy would; she was enjoying the show far too much to join in. Melanie then grabbed the arm of another man and yanked him from his seat. "Let's go Kevin," she chirped angrily as the man scowled and sat right back down. Erin grabbed Lizzy's arm even harder and began to twist.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Kevin spat. "You're a cheating whore!"

Melanie glared even harder. "You knew I was engaged," she growled, her face flaming.

"Yeah I knew, but then I found out about George, and John, and my little brother!" Kevin announced loudly, "and now this deushbag? Uh-uh" Kevin shook his head. "No fucking way am I going anywhere with you, Melanie."

Up on the altar, Will stood wide eyed as Charlie, Fitz, and Georgie lost themselves in laughter once again and the maid of honor looked as though she'd just figured out where she was. Erin then began to pinch Lizzy's arm, hard, and she ripped her eyes off the scene as Erin whispered her name sounding very short on breath. "I think… I think…" Erin panted and suddenly Lizzy's attention was drawn to her feet as her gorgeous pink shoes became soaking wet.

"I think my water just broke," Erin finally managed.

And you guys thought my last cliffhanger was bad...

So what do you think? I love this scene because it's so ridiculous, all the laughter all the cliches.

So was it as good as you hoped? Worth the wait?

There are four more chapters and an Epilogue... sooooo... hahahahahaha. I just can't stop laughing!