A/N: Sorry. This chapter's a little long and boring, but it's neccessary for the plotline. The next chapter will be funny. I PROMISE. Seriously, I would take this chapter out, but I can't, otherwise one of the later chapters won't make any sense. Icentered this because, as you can tell, this site wasnt taking my indents for some weird reason. Sowee. DX

Chapter 2

Probing Day Wasnt Fun Anyways

Renym's eyes grew wide as she watched Red and Purple plummel Invaders on screen. She had to admit, it was quite funny. They laughed maniacally, beating up any Irken they got the chance to. Renym's antennae twitched as they giggled and shoved in the popcorn while Invader Tenn threw on a puppet show.

Then, they went onto Invader Skoo, who got the plummeling of a lifetime. The Tallest cracked up, Purple almost falling backwards. Renym cringed, happy she wasn't an Invader anymore.

Purple screeched with laughter. "I LOVE PROBING DAY!"

Red bent over double, gasping for air as Skoo screamed bloody murder. "Me too! Meeeetoo!"

Renym twiddled her bare fingers, enjoying the Tallest's phsycotic laughter, but not so much the painfully doomed screams of the victim. Suddenly, Red yelled, "Renymph! Get us more popcorn! We're about to call Zim!"

As Renym walked over to threathen another busy Navigator, she could hear Purple saying, "Her name is RENYM." He moved his hands up and down. "REN. NIM."

"Whatever," Red replied carelessly.

Renym approached the nearest Navigator, who immediatly rose from his seat in pure terror. "WHAT DO YO WANT FROM ME?" he screeched.

"Popcorn. Go. Now." She pointed sternly to the door then, as the green-eyed Navigator screamed away, she reported back to the Tallest. "My Tallest, a Navigator is fetching you more popcorn right now."

"You scared ANOTHER one?" Red said, surprised.

"Youre goood," Purple complimented. Renym smiled and walked back to her spot, leaning against the wall. Purple was whispering to Red, "I want more puppets."

Renym sighed. She loved her new job. There was hardly anything better than this. Just hang out, bully some Navigators...

She was proud to say she knew the Tallest personally. She had always looked up to them as a younger Irken. Sure, they were nothing more than snack-craving leaders who bathed in power, but they were still pretty cool. They were the Tallest.

And Navigators... Oh, they were so fun to push around. And the faces of the Tallest afterwards made it twice as better. Navigators are geniuses generally, but stupid cowards at the same time. Renym smiled as she remembered the terrified screams of the Navigators she had scared into doing her work for her.

Suddenly, she heard a panting noise slowly getting closer and closer to her. It was the scared green-eyed Navigator, his puny arms full with 3 bags of popcorn, the most he could carry. Renym narrowed her eyes and grinned evilly, scaring the Navigator away with a satisfying squeak.

She brought the bags over to the Tallest, who were chatting while they waited for their popcorn. "One for you," she said, setting a bag in Red's lap. "One for-"

"OOH! DO I GET TWO?" Purple squealed excitedly.

"Um... no... Here's yours." With pursed lips, she set a bag in Purple's lap. "I was thinking maybe you two could split this or something..."

"Ooohh... Yeaaahh!" Purple replied all gooey.

"No, we should let the little advise... Advise... Advisingor-whatever-worm have it."

"Renym. Her name is Renym," Purple pointed out.

"Really? I can have it?" Renym's eyes grew wide.

"Go ahead! You deserve it!" Purple said joyfully.

"Oh, so NOW you want the worm to have it," Red mumbled.

"Her name is RENYM."

"Yeah, I'd rather not be called a worm, thanks," Renym said, frowning.

"Youre a feisty one, aren't you? Not much respect for you leaders," Red retorted, annoyed.

"What did I say?" Renym blinked and ate some popcorn.

"Just leave us alone. We must call ZIM." Red said Zim's name in such a hateful manner that it made Renym shudder.

Purple's gaze followed Renym as she left, a silent apology drifting in his eyes. She nodded and his eyes turned back to the screen in a hurry.

"OH, MY EYES!" Purple screamed at the top of his lungs. "WHAT IS THAT?"

Red's jaw had dropped. Renym's curiousity took over and she just had to skip over to the screen to look.

A small green... Thing... Was digging through a flat brown box, covered in sticky, stretchy cheese. In fact, the whole room was covered in the cheese. The creature smacked it's lips, screeching, "PIIIIZZZAAA!"

Renym could hear Zim's voice in the background, shouting, "GIR! IT'S PROBING DAY! COME OVER HERE AND WATCH MY LATEST PLAN WHILE I-" Zim walked on screen, and he began screaming at the top of his lungs. "GIR! GIR! AGGHHKKK! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"I DECORATED!" GIR smiled and stuck out his tongue.

Zim suddenly saw The Tallest on screen, watching in amazement . "My-My Tallest! Excuse GIR's... Mess. He's a little... Well... Stupid." He coughed.

The two leaders were speechless, so Zim continued. "I have a new plan that will blow you away..."

While Zim explained his endless plan, Purple tapped Renym on the shoulder. Renym nodded, jumped in front of the screen, and screamed, "SORRY ZIM! You bore the Tallest because you have no puppets. ENJOY YOUR PUMMELING!" Renym pressed the "pummel" button and desperately signaled to a Navigator to sign off.

Purple sighed. "Man, you can never get RID of that guy."

Red's right eye and antenna twitched. "What the Irk was he TALKING about? I couldn't hear over all that... Revolting smacking!"

"Am I dismissed?" Renym threw some popcorn in her mouth.

"Yeah, whatever," Red replied absent-mindedly. Renym stepped backwards, giving the Tallest some room to think.

Purple frowned and shoved in the popcorn. After a couple of bites, he asked, "When are we gonna kill him?"

Red blinked and crossed his arms. "I dunno, Purple, I dunno." He started taking in popcorn, too. All three Irkens ate their popcorn with a looming sense of worry, all deep in thought.

Maybe Purple is right. Maybe... Maybe we should get rid of Zim soon, Red pondered.Oh, but how I do love torturing him...

Hmm... Red and Purple are going to ask for my advice any time now... Probably about what to do with Zim... Renym gritted her teeth, ready to scream after moments of thought. They want him dead, but also like to torture him... Aaaaghhh! What should I say? WHAT SHOULD I SAY?

Wow... This popcorn is good! Purple smiled and licked his lips, then caught himself and began frowning again.Wait... What about... What about that Renym girl? OH MY GOSH THAT PEICE WAS SO BUTTERY!

Purple began heavily devouring his popcorn, breaking the silence. Red and Renym stared at him in disbelief. He looked up at Red. "This is delicious popcorn," he said with a grin.

Red smacked his forehead. "Wow... Just... Wow."

Renym stepped forward again. "Excuse, My Tallest?"

"Wuts wong, Whenim?" Purple said with a mouthful of popcorn.

"About the Zim thing..." Renym bit her lip, nervous about disappointing the Tallest. Well, if they didn't like her advice, the worst that could happen was that they wouldn't take it...

Or they could just throw her out the airlock.

"I think you should keep him alive. But make his life miserable. MISERABLE, I SAY!"

Red and Purple exchanged a glance and nodded. Renym continued. "You should pretend to help him, but actually just make him wish he had never been born."

"Thats a little harsh, don't you think?" Purple said.

"Yeah." Red blinked.

"Its not as bad as it sounds, I assure you." Renym tried to help her case.

She didn't want to go to the dungeons.

"Oh. Okay," Purple shoved in another handful of popcorn happily.

Red put on an evil smile. "Lets send him a little *present.*"

"As your advisor, I say you should send him an automatic pummeling machine that follows him everywhere."

"That... That's genius," Purple said, now with an evil smile of his own.

"SOMEBODY! SEND ZIM A PUMMEL-WHATEVER-MACHINE!" Red ordered.

"Oo! OOO!"

"What, Purple?"

"What if we... What if we called him first and told him we... Omnomfffnomff... An tuld him wer weewerdin him wif a shuper wheppin?" Purple blinked as him swallowed him popcorn.

"BRILLIANT!" Red screeched. "That just might be the smartest thing you've said all week."

Purple smiled. "CALL ZIM!" he commanded to the Navigators.

Renym quickly hopped out of sight, making sure she wouldn't be seen by Zim on camera. Renym watched as the screen cleared, revealed Zim still being tortured by hammers. His screams were almost unbearable to hear, but they were still hilarious. Not anywhere near as bad as Skoo's.

Purple quickly pressed the pummel button again, stopping the hammers. Zim stood up wearily and looked like he was about to faint.

"ZIM!" Red shouted.

"Y-yes, My T-T-Tallest?"

"Zim, our advisor here accidently pressed the pummel button when we were quite... Enjoying..." Purple grit his teeth together at what he was saying. "Your plan."

Renym stiffened when Purple mentioned her. Red continued off of Purple's lie. "Yes, and to apologize, we are sending you the third most powerful weapon we have to offer."

Purple lightly jabbed Red's side. "Why third?" he whispered.

Red jabbed Purple back, harder, making him double over in pain. "AGH! MAH SQUEEDLYSPOOCH!" Purple yelped.

Red covered up the gesture. "HEY! WHO THREW THAT ROCK AT PURPLE? Haha, anywaaays..."

Zim jumped with joy. "Thank you, My Tallest! I will use this WEAPOOON to my advantage!"

"Good Zim, good. It's being sent over right away. Now don't bother us. We have... Tall... Stuff to do." Red quickly gestured for the Navigators to sign off.

The screen went black and Red burst out into laughter. Purple moaned in pain and rolled on his side, grabbing his squeedlyspooch. Red stopped laughing and frowned, looking down at his fellow leader. "Somebody help Purple," he demanded.

Renym walked over to Purple and tried helping him up. She wasn't very successful. "My Taaallest, get uuup!"

She rolled him on his back and pushed behind his head, trying to get him to sit up. He just slumped back down and fell over in pain, nearly crushing the smaller Irken. "Dammit," she cursed under her breath.

"Why can't YOU help?" she asked Red.

"I can't bend over in this uniform," Red lied. "Its too tight."

"Well then how did HE manage to bend over in PAIN when you ELBOWED him?"

"It probably caused him a lot of pain," Red retorted.

"You lie," Purple said hoarsly.

Renym sighed and pushed up on Purple's back, using the floor as her aid. "Cant you just... Get up?"

"AHHHK!" Purple screeched and went limp again.

Renym gave up for a moment and looked around at te Navigators. She spotted a big, burly one and approached him.

"H-HEY!" Purple called. "Where are... Ah.. Ahk... You... Ak... Going?"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" the Navigator shouted in a deep, husky voice.

"Just help me get Tallest Purple up," she asked kindly.

"Oh... Okay." The Navigator and Renym walked back over to Red and Purple.

Red was barely holding in his snickers while Purple moaned in pure misery. "Youre like a little crying smeet," Red sneered.

"Okay, let's get him up," Renym said with a huff. They both pushed on their leader's back, finally getting him to sit up. Red blinked in amazement and gave Purple a hand.

"I don't NEED your help, Red," Purple grunted angrily. "I can get up myself."

Purple took his hands off his stomach-area and hauled himself up slowly.

As soon as he saw Purple up and somewhat healthy-looking, the Navigator ran back to his position. Renym laughed and wished she could take a picture of his face.

"Sorry Purple," Red apologized.

"Thats wonderful." Purple frowned.

"BUT OMG YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE!"

Purple's fingers curled over in fury, looking like they REALLY wanted to punch something. Renym stepped back, letting them deal with their own problem.

Suddenly, Purple retched. His balled up hand found it's way back to his spooch. Purple's eyes grew wide and he screeched in pain, running to wherever his legs took him, his face turning a pale minty green. Red and Renym simultaniously took a couple steps backwards as Purple gagged.

"Oh jeez... BLEEECCCK... RE-E-ED!... B-b-BLEEEHHG... YOU BROKE... BLEEECCHH... MY SPOOCH!"