Disclaimer: I do not own Dgrayman.

Beta-read by Izzu and Shadow Vampiress.

A/N: Ok, this is chapter two as promised. I am so happy to receive so much support. A million thanks to all my reviewers and to the people who read my story. I hope you will like this chapter as well

Enjoy!

oOo

Kanda had had an uneasy feeling ever since he had woken up that day. That feeling was the reason he had expedited his move into the new H.Q. The plans for the move were dictated so that a small group, which consisted of Allen, Lenalee, Johnny and Komui, would arrive in the building where their new home would be the previous day. Then, Allen would use the Ark to link the old H.Q with the new and the next day the move would officially begin.

So, using one of those doors that Moyashi had set up, while ignoring some people from the science department who had told him to wait, he had arrived at the new building. Having been totally unfamiliar with the place he simply walked around for a while, trying to get his bearings. It had been then that he had encountered Lavi. The red-head had been sitting on the ground in one of the corridors, his back leaning on the wall and his eyes fixed on the empty space in front of him. He had been deep in thought, and his expression had appeared sad.

Kanda had been a bit surprised. He had not been able to remember the last time he had seen his fellow exorcist in such a state.

However, as soon as Lavi had perceived Kanda's presence he had instantly reverted back to his usual cheery self, hiding his true emotions behind the intricate mask he always wore. Kanda was not one to pry and ask questions so he had said nothing and had allowed himself be guided to the dining room. He had not had the opportunity to have breakfast yet.

Upon their arrival to the dining room, the answers that lay behind his uneasy feeling had begun to come to him. As he and Lavi had encountered Allen and Lenalee, Kanda's sharpened sense or instinct (whatever it was) had picked up something strange about Moyashi. He had been unable to put his finger on precisely what it was, but there had been no doubt in his mind that something had happened to the white haired exorcist.

His suspicions had been confirmed by the boy's silent demeanor, which in itself was strange, but even more by his unwillingness to make eye contact with Lavi. Kanda had no idea what might have happened, but he had been certain something had. Unfortunately, his train of thought had quickly been interrupted by something he had not anticipated. How could he have?

The news of General Cross's death had hit everyone hard, especially since it had been so unexpected. Even Kanda had been unable to contain his surprise and shock.

It was only after the original shock had abated that he had remembered that Cross was Moyashi's tutor. Immediately his eyes had darted to the white-haired exorcist. Allen had been standing there, frozen. His gaze had been fixed to a spot on the floor, but his unfocused eyes had attested that his mind had been somewhere else and his face had worn a haunted expression; a mixture of shock and pain.

Kanda's heart had skipped a bit upon seeing that expression. It was the first time he had seen it on Moyashi's face.

The black-haired exorcist knew very well how a young exorcist, taken in by the Order as a child, regarded the General who had been assigned with his training. He knew because although he would never admit to it out loud, it was the same for General Tiedoll and him. For the children, the General assigned to them became family, something like a father. So Kanda had been able to imagine the feelings Allen had had for Cross, and what were probably his thoughts and feelings upon losing him. Kanda had known because he had felt like that when Tiedoll had been assumed dead during the Akuma attack on the old H.Q.

Not knowing what to do, Kanda had just stood there staring. But that standstill had not lasted long. Suddenly Allen had wobbled and fell, effectively melting the imaginary ice that had encased Kanda's legs and rooted to that spot. Kanda had sprung into action, moving as fast as he could. He had just barely managed to get to the white-haired exorcist before he hit the ground.

Accompanied by a distressed Lenalee and a worried Lavi, he had carried Allen's prone body to the nearest room with a bed. Lenalee had been persuaded by Lavi to go find Komui, who was probably the most capable of handling the situation. Especially since he would know the specifics about what had happened to Cross, and thus provide them with answers. Lavi had requested that Kanda keep an eye on Allen while he went to find Bookman, just in case he could offer any input or assistance. Again concerning Cross.

oOo

So now Kanda was sitting in a chair by Allen's left side.

The room to which he had taken him was small but clean. There was a small window to the right of the bed, allowing the dim sunlight to enter and somewhat illuminate the room. The bed was metallic, of white color, as were the sheets. There Allen lay. His face was paler than usual and he was frowning. He was asleep, but judging from his expression and the occasional twitch of his head his dreams were not peaceful.

Allen was not the only distressed person in the room.

Much to Kanda's dismay, he could not pry his eyes away from the person he so often called Moyashi. Worry had taken root in his heart, and had now begun constricting it. He knew that there was nothing he or anyone else could do at the moment, and that was what plagued him the most. He felt completely helpless and it was a feeling he hated with a passion.

Kanda often pretended to be a cold, disconnected and distant person who only cared about the mission. What few realized was that that demeanor was in fact his defense, his way to keep others at a distance. He had tried to build a wall between himself and other people, thinking that he was protecting them both that way.

He knew that his life would be limited at best, provided of course that the Akuma and the members of the Noah family did not get to him first. That knowledge, along with his natural aversion to socializing, had kept him from getting too involved with people. That way he would not risk getting hurt or hurting anybody else. After all, one other thing he had learned early on was that the pain of losing someone close to you was the instrument that would be used against you for the creation of Akuma.

That was the way he had lived his life…until he met Allen Walker.

He still remembered the first time he had met the white-haired exorcist. He had held him at the point of Mugen, thinking that he was an attacker. Now he could not help but smirk as he remembered the whole incident of their first encounter.

Kanda had never been a fool. Though somewhat disconnected with his own feelings, he could not help but notice the slight fondness he had started developing towards the one he had nicknamed Moyashi. He didn't know when he started caring for Allen, or why, but the feeling had been growing, slowly but steadily creeping into his heart. He had tried to ignore it, to dismiss it, and for a time he had been able to do so. It was not until Allen had been presumed dead, supposedly killed by the Noah of Pleasure, that Kanda realized the intensity of that feeling.

It was not until Edo and Tyki Mikk's claim of having killed Allen that the black-haired exorcist truly understood how it felt to lose the person dearest to you. For the first time in his life he had truly understood the feelings of pain, rage, despair and love that led many people to cling to the hope of seeing their beloved again, thus creating the Akuma. He had understood how much he really loved Allen.

Ironically, that day of utter despair also proved to be the day Kanda experienced the feeling of absolute joy and bliss. It was the moment that Allen, appearing out of nowhere, joined in on the fight against the Earl as well as some of the member of the Noah family and the Akuma army. Kanda had felt indescribable relief when he saw that Allen was alive and well. He had never been more thankful for anything in his life.

He reached out and lightly touched one white strand of hair.

He had realized his feelings, but that did not mean that he was ready to share them. He did not know how to express them, but more importantly he was not sure how they would be received.

What would you do if you knew?

Of course, he did not receive an answer to his silent question.

Suddenly, Allen started tossing and turning.

Kanda placed his right hand to the younger man's shoulder, gently shaking him, trying to calm him down but to no effect. Allen started mumbling in his sleep, and though Kanda could not understand what he was saying, it was obvious that he was having a nightmare.

Kanda, seeing no results, grabbed Allen by the shoulders and lifted him to an almost sitting position. He shook the younger male a bit more forcefully, but that did not yield any results either. Seeing that he was unable to wake him in that manner but unwilling to leave him in his agony, Kanda did the first thing that came to his mind…he hugged the younger exorcist.

After a few seconds, Allen calmed down but not only that. A very surprised Kanda felt the smaller boy's arms envelope him. He looked down at Allen, but there was no indication that he was awake. Kanda gently squeezed the child in his arms. He felt the need to take all his pain away, to carry it upon himself. He supposed that that was what love truly felt like. He marveled how well the smaller boy seemed to fit in his embrace. Kanda felt the softness of Allen's hair underneath his chin which, due to their position, barely touched the other boy's head.

He knew they could not stay like that for long. Soon the embrace would have to end and he would once again take his place on the chair by Allen's side. But he would cherish this moment for just a bit longer.

Just a bit longer…

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oOoTBCoOo

A/N2: How did I do? I hope I didn't disappoint. Please tell me what you think.