Hey! I am so sorry for not updating in forever but I've been studying for finals and my SAT2 and it did not help that my computer crashed and I had to wait for it to be fixed before I could type up my chapter. The good news is that summer is here and I will be able to update chapters a lot faster since I'll be home all the time and won't have school. Thank you all for being so patient and for all of the reviews! Please keep it up!
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On with chapter 13. ENJOY!
Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. All rights to publish Maximum Ride remain with JP.
I gasped and stared at Iggy with wide eyes. His hands were cupping my cheeks and I could feel my face turning red.
"Ember," he whispered "I really like you. I've never felt like this before, it's different from how I feel about anyone else in the Flock."
My heart was racing I stood staring into his eyes. Could Iggy actually like me? Although the idea thrilled me it also scared me. Emotions were still new to me. I was able to feel emotion at the School but, I had to pretend like I didn't so I had no idea how to express them.
I felt like my world was spinning out of control. I felt the intensity of these emotions all through my body and the more I felt them the more frightened I became. I kept repeating in my head a quote that I had read while I was running from the School, to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be destroyed. It went hand in hand with what the School had taught me, emotions gave you weaknesses and in the world I lived in I could not afford to have weaknesses.
Looking into Iggy's eyes made it even harder to say what I had to. "Iggy," I stuttered, "I, I can't. I'm sorry."
I tore my eyes away from Iggy's and it felt like my heart was ripping apart. Before he could stop me I ran and flew back up to the roof. I listened carefully and heard the door slam as Iggy entered the house. The sound echoed inside my head, my body felt numb as I hugged my knees to my chest. For the first time since I had met the Flock I felt alone and for the first time since I was five, I cried.
Silent tears streamed down my face at what I had done to Iggy. It wasn't fair to him that I had run from him. The look on his face when he had told me how he felt showed me that he knew I was not as happy as I pretended to be in front of the Flock. He was right. I was broken after everything the School had done to me and no matter how hard anyone tried I could not be fixed.
I didn't think anyone would try and find me or care that I had disappeared so I was surprised when I looked up to find Max standing in front of me with her hands on her hips.
"I suppose you're going to kick me out of the Flock now," I said casually wiping my hand over my face to hide the fact that I had been crying.
"No."
My eyes widened in surprise. She sighed and sat down in front of me. "I want to know why you ran away from Iggy," she continued.
"You wouldn't understand."
"Actually," she argued, "I think I would. I ran away from Fang a lot before I admitted that I liked him."
There was something in the way she looked at me that I gathered all my courage, took a deep breath and began. "I'm not supposed to feel like this. The School wanted me to be emotionless and I spent so many years pretending to have no emotion that at times I believed they had succeeded in purging me of emotion. When I was there the whitecoats were always pushing me to be stronger, faster, smarter and better. Now that I'm here I don't know what to do and I'm scared of how much emotion I've been expressing around you guys."
"Ember, the School can't control you anymore; it can't control any of us."
"I know, but, I was always told that emotion is weakness and it's true. What if they used one of you to get to me? They're smart, sooner or later they are going to figure out that I would give myself to them willingly before I would let anything happen to you or the Flock."
"You would do that for us?"
My face hardened as I stared into her eyes and let all the emotions I was feeling show, "In a heartbeat."
"Look Ember, I tried running from my feelings for Fang for a long time and it hurt. I was always putting others before myself but, now that I've finally admitted it to myself and to the Flock I've never been happier. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but I know you like Iggy and I think you should tell him sooner than later."
"Thanks Max, I'll tell him when I'm ready."
"Good."
I diverted my eyes to the ground, "How is he?"
"He's locked in his room. Fang's trying to explain to him that he shouldn't lose hope because you're new to this whole thing. My guess is he'll be perfectly fine in the morning when we leave."
I sighed with relief until Max started talking again. "But he won't ask you again, Ember. If you really like him than you are going to have to bring it up because I know for a fact that he will not be the one to do it out of respect for you and fear of rejection."
"Where are we going tomorrow?" I asked changing the topic of conversation.
"The Voice says we should go to California. Don't forget to pack comfortable and efficient clothes. You should bring an extra pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, some t-shirts and a jacket for hiding our wings and colder places."
"Hey Max," I called after her as she was leaving, "Thanks for everything."
"No problem," she said before jumping off the roof and flying through an open window.
Tired I went to Ella's room to get some sleep before we had to leave tomorrow and hoped that I would be able to have enough courage to talk to Iggy. Finally, after an hour of pondering the conversation with Max my eyes drifted shut to get some much needed sleep before we took off for California tomorrow.
Once again I am sorry for the long wait but since school is over the faster I get reviews the faster I will update. This was more of a filler chapter but there will be more action in the next chapter and I promise Iggy and Ember will be together soon.
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Till the next chapter!