Authors Note:
To those of you who signed up for a story alert or filed this under your favorite stories, thank you so much! It made me so happy to see that at least someone was enjoying this…other than me that is.
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Serena bit her lip in concentration as she stared at her outfit in the mirror. It was definitely cute. She loved her knee-length jean skirt and the soft pink top she wore with it. She really felt her white heels added a touch of class to the outfit.
"No…I can't…" Serena groaned in frustration as she began to change her clothes yet again. If she met Andrew and Amy looking too dressed up then there would be no extra wow factor when she showed up at the dance that night. She wanted Andrew's jaw to drop. Tonight he would see just how beautiful she really was…or at least she hoped so.
Serena decided to keep her blouse and instead swapped out the skirt for denim jeans. Casual, but definitely flattering. She slipped on some white flats and pulled her golden hair up into a ponytail. Some light mascara and pink lip gloss later, and she was ready to run out the door.
"Bye Mom! Bye Dad!" Serena's parents looked up from the couch they were sitting on.
"Where are you off to dear?" Serena's mother looked curiously at her daughter. Her father just raised an eyebrow.
"I have that study group at the Crown with Andrew and Amy, remember?" Serena impatiently swung her backpack over her shoulder and waited by the front door.
Serena's father set down his newspaper. "We do, but don't you think you should stay home today? You've had a pretty busy week and it would probably do you some good to just relax."
He was met with an exasperated eye roll. "I'll rest later. I'm not even close to getting burned out. I promise! Now I'd better get going before I run late. Love you!" She blew them kisses before running out the door.
Two hours later*
"Serena, stop being so overdramatic. Trigonometry is not "the devil". You'll get this. All you have to do is—" Amy was cut off by Serena's moan.
"You don't get it Amy. Math HATES me. We've never gotten along. It causes me actual pain to have to look at it. See?" Serena scrunched up her face into her best pain-filled expression.
She was rewarded with a warm chuckle. "Oh Serena, you're too funny. We'll help you. Since you've never been close to actually failing, I'd think it's safe to say that math doesn't HATE you. In fact, I know you're smart enough to get it. You're doing better than fine in all your other classes. You'll get the hang of this." Andrew pushed his textbook towards Serena with an encouraging nod.
Serena couldn't believe just how genuinely sweet Andrew was. Butterflies filled her stomach and a pink blush touched her cheeks as she quietly thanked him with downcast eyes. She could try again, for Andrew.
A few minutes later had Serena beaming with pride. She had finally gotten the answer right! Amy and Andrew celebrated with her and finished off the last of their milkshakes. With nothing left to do, Amy let out an over exaggerated sigh and looked knowingly towards Serena. "Well, I think I'm going to head out. I have a few chores to finish before my mom will let me go to the dance tonight. You two have fun ok?"
Serena almost choked on the last of her milkshake. She quickly recovered and shot Amy a quick grin before covering it with a false pout. "Oh Ames, we were having so much fun. But I totally understand. We would never want to risk getting you in trouble. We'll see you tonight!" Andrew echoed her feelings and both friends watched as Amy left the diner.
Serena smiled happily at Andrew as he turned his chair to talk to her. "So Serena, how is your family doing?"
"They're doing fine. You should really drop by sometime! Mom and Dad are always asking about you."
Andrew chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "I would, but I'm pretty sure your dad would be disappointed in me. Every time I see him he asks about my foreign language studies. I haven't been able to keep up with it as much as I would like. He'd probably ban me from the house or something."
Serena half-laughed. Her dad would never do that…to Andrew at least. He had a reputation among her friends for getting angry with her easily. Serena loved her dad and understood his desire to see her succeed. But sometimes it would be nice to feel like his moods towards her weren't dependent upon how successful she was in academics. Most parents are happy when their kids pass their classes. They're also thrilled when instead of just passing, their kids excel. But life for Serena was completely different. Excellence in academics was an expectation, not a bonus. She knew her father loved her and that he just wanted to watch her grow up with every opportunity opened to her. Serena just wished that sometimes he could remember that she was a teenager. She needed a life. She also needed to know he was proud of her. True, she worked so hard because she honestly wanted to do well in school. But she also pushed herself for him. Maybe eventually he would recognize the effort she had put into making him proud. No matter the number of arguments they got into or how mean he could be, she always loved him. She would do anything for him.
"Oh Andrew! You know that would never happen. He ADORES you. But I can't guarantee that you wouldn't get your fair share of teasing…"
They both agreed to that and sat in silence for a while. Finally, Andrew cleared his throat. "So Serena, I have been wondering—"
"Oh HEY guys! Fancy meeting you here!"
Serena's heart dropped into her stomach at the sound of Mina's voice. She figured that their friend would be stopping by after having demanded to be inducted into their group, but she could not have picked a more inopportune time. Serena's heart was beating a mile a minute. What had Andrew been about to ask?
Andrew cleared his throat and threw Serena a meaningful glance before turning to Mina. "Hey there Mina. I'm sorry you missed the study group. Amy left not too long ago. We could order another milkshake for you?"
Mina's eyes sparkled at Andrew's invitation. "Gee Andrew, I'd love to, but I'm going to have to get it to go. I just wanted to drop by and grab one before heading home to get ready for the dance. Hey, why don't you keep that milkshake and just be a gentleman and promise me a dance tonight?" Mina flirtatiously leaned against the table.
Andrew blinked before recovering and answered, "of course Mina. No need to ask! I'd be happy to!"
Mina smiled before turning to Serena and mouthing "sorry". She really hadn't meant to barge in on their one on one time. She figured they'd be done meeting by now. But she was glad to get a promise out of him for a dance. No doubt he'd be very popular tonight and she would revel in any time she got to spend with him.
Serena smiled at Mina and stood up. "I should be leaving to go get ready too. But Mina's got the right idea. Save one for me too please?"
Andrew smiled and stood to hug them both goodbye. "Of course. I will definitely be asking you both to dance tonight. There's no need for pretty ladies to be left standing."
Both girls blushed at his chivalrous comment and waved as they exited the diner.
"I am SO sorry Serena! I had no idea you two would still be here! Please please PLEASE forgive me?" Mina clasped her hands and looked hopefully towards her friend.
Serena slowly shook her head and sighed. "Oh Mina, you know there's no need to apologize. I know you're not trying to be mean. We agreed to play it fair and that's all I expect. I just wish you would have walked in five minutes later…"
Mina's eyes widened. "Why? Were you two having a "moment"?"
"I'm not sure…he was about to ask me something. I just wish I knew what. He seemed a little nervous about it and stopped as soon a you got there. It could be nothing but…"
"Oh Serena, don't you dare! You and I both know that means something, not nothing! Maybe he was about to declare his feelings for you." Mina smiled happily for her friend but inwardly cringed at the thought. If Andrew liked Serena, then she had definitely lost her chance. He was perfect…but she figured there was no reason to cry over something she never had. Well, at least not in front of Serena.
Serena's eyes sparkled and she looked up at Mina with newfound hope. "You really think so?" Mina nodded her head with a small smile and linked arms with her. "I do. So no more moping around, ok? Its time to get you home so you can get all dolled up and knock the socks right off of him!"
"Oh thank you Mina! You always know what to say to make me feel better. Look, I know you like Andrew too and if you—" Mina held up her hand to stop her right there. "Stop right there missy. I'm your friend first and foremost. I CAN be happy for you, and I will. I'm sad, but I'll get over it."
Serena happily hugged her friend and said thank you before skipping off to her house. Maybe she really did have a chance with Andrew!
"I'm home!" Serena raced up the stairs to her bedroom to begin getting ready. Opening her closet, she stepped back to pick which dress would be worn tonight.
knock knock*
"Come in!"
Serena's father stepped into her bedroom and sat himself down on her bed. "Hey there sweetie. Why don't you come sit over here for a minute." He patted the bed next to him. Serena raised an eyebrow and crossed the room to sit next to him.
"Hey Dad. What's up?"
"Look Serena, you're under a lot of pressure right now. You've got a million things your juggling with school, extracurricular activities, and church. I've decided it's best for you to stay home tonight and rest. You will not be going to the dance tonight. I hope you can understand."
Serena felt time stop as her heart hit her stomach. This could not be happening.
"Dad, that's not fair at all. I'm doing fine with everything. I was actually looking forward to this dance. I don't get to have fun and relax the way everyone else does so I NEED nights like this. Please Dad, I really want to go." Serena held her breath in anticipation. Her blood was pumping and she could feel herself getting upset.
"I'm sorry Serena, but there will be no more discussion about this. You will stay home and rest tonight."
Serena felt her head explode. "You don't even care! I know how I feel, not you! I want to go to the dance and you're using it to punish me! I wear myself out everyday doing the things YOU want me to do and then you use it against me to keep me home! I NEED things like this dance just to stay sane! If I am tired, it's only mentally! Why don't you care about how I feel?"
There were tears coursing down her cheeks. It always ended like this for her.
Serena's father shook his head and closed her bedroom door behind him.
She threw herself onto her pillow and screamed in anger. Every time she got close to having a normal life, her dad would step in and stop it. She was only allowed to do things the way he deemed appropriate. Any activity she actually enjoyed became immediate ammunition for him. She would never win.
Serena raised herself to the window and looked out as tears continued to roll down her face. She was trying to choke back her sobs when she noticed the Shields' front door open. Darien and Raye walked outside holding hands.
"Raye? She must be the new girl he's dating. Well of course he'd pick her. She's beautiful and perfect. She has a life. But why she'd pick him, I'll never know."
She wiped away her tears and scoffed as she watched Darien hold open the car door for Raye.
"Wonder how long that'll last…"
Serena calmed down and curled up on her bed for the night. Was there anyone she could please? Her friends seemed to love her, but she didn't have to work for their approval. She would never make her father happy. Maybe there was something totally unlovable about her…even Darien hated her. He got along with everyone at school. But she had never been part of that "everyone". She shook those thoughts away. It did her no good to think about that jerk. He didn't care about her so she wouldn't waste her time thinking about him. Even jerks got more freedom than she did…
Serena slowly lowered herself to her knees and clasped her hands in prayer. "Oh God, thank you for giving me a family. I know they love me. But I don't think I'll ever understand my dad. I'll never make him happy. If anything, Darien proves my dad right. Um, I shouldn't have even brought him up. Darien doesn't matter. But my dad does…and who I am isn't enough… Please help me be happy. Amen."
Serena let out a sigh as she climbed under the covers. It looked like it was going to be another Jane Eyre night for her. She read well into the early hours of the morning and fell asleep with the light on and her hand pressed against a page that told the story of a little orphan girl who would never be able to please her family.