So like, Luna gets to teh 1NN3R C4STL3 and ish all like "ZOMG DIS IS EVEN SMEXXXIER!" Lava flows from the walls, reminding her of her beautiful majestic spechul magical super-long super-straight perfectly smooth red hair. The maker of teh ROAR is standing there with a beautiful but obviously pregnant human princess. He's sobbing his eyes off and she's staring at the ground with a [mood I can't remember the name of] expression.

"I'm sorry..." She started, but he cuts her off.

"PEACHY HOW COULD YOU?" He bawls. "I told you NO MORE KIDS and you show up with that PLUMBER'S-"

"Sometimes I wonder if I should have STAYED WITH HIM! HES MORE LOVEING THAN ULL EVER BE!11"

They continued arguing and luna being the ADHD bitch she is lets everyone know how bored she is

"SHUT T3H FUK UP!11" She screams at Peach.

Peach turns to Bowser and literally sez "wtf is this bitch"

He turns back and sez "i dont know and why isnt she tryin to yiff my other kids right now"

"IM NOT A FURRY!11 IM A SCALY GRRRRRRRRRR...!111" then Luna lunges, pushing Peach down a cliff where she and Mario's baby die in lava. She then leaps into Bowser's arms and batts her sparkly multicolored eyes at him.

He stands there in shock and wonder and anger at the bitch who'd just killed the mother of his children. Without any further debate, he shrugged. "Oh, well! She cheated, so I like you now Luna! But I don't LOVE you yet!"

Luna then slaps a huge, emote-style :D face on and squeals. "WE'RE FRIENDS NOW YAAAY! I ONLY NEED 2 KILL UR KIDS AND THEN UR MINE 4 REALZ HAHA! :DDD"

Bowser puts on a serious face. "Luna, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, despite being a horrible, now single, father and dying every time Mario-kun wants me to, I really love my kids and they love me back!" He steps away from her and she watches still with the :D face not understanding a thing he's saying. "So you shouldn't kill my kids, okay?"

"OK! BUT I NEED 2 KILL SOME1 AND ALSO DO U HAV SOME INTARDNET I LIKE NARUTO AND WANA WACH IT AND-"

"Honeeey, please calm down. Stop screaming i need to get in bed with u"

Luna loox around and sees shes in a bedroom magicly

"omg yaaay lets yiff heeheehee im so nervous this is mai phurst tiem tho"

So she got in bed...

With Bowser...

And they...

THEY...

Well actually, to prevent me from writing something almost equivalent to sexting (which is lame and I find typos/ chatspeek to be the hugest turnoff on the world), Vollchellesky appeared and granted Bowser back his brain. He sees the fugly scrawny [in Koopa standards] rainbowneon bitch he's in bed with and making out with.

And. He. Flips.

He flips so much that he flips between dimensions and sees who Luna really is under the Koopa form, and when he sees that he flips again.

After chucking the bitch into a few walls [like father like son, you know?] and falcon punching her into a few more walls including the fourth one she lays there silently. Her soul weeps.

Luna raises her arms to the heavens above [imagine the Y U NO face on her for maximum lulz] and screams her sorrow. "WHYYYY? WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER LIKE THIS?!" She turns you. YOU. "WHYYY DO U ENJOY MY PAIN SOOO?" She screeches, then breaks down into a pile of sobbing and neon and tits. Of course, she cuts herself too and this time she manages to bleed. Blood seeps from her arms and flows down the floor, scarlet red just like Bowser's hair...

xXxXx

Meanwhile, Junior stared at himself in the mirror. "Gee, there's got ta be someone I can cosplay as this weekend! If I don't, my online friends will think I'm a total wuss!" He turns back to the mirror and sighs. "Man, if only Lemmy was here! If he didn't commit suicide after his week of nightmares after seeing Neonbitch Koopa, he'd know what to do!"

Looking out the door and across the hall, Junior sees the door to Lemmy's room...

I apologize for any mindf*ck this has caused or will cause.

Gah, I hate this fic and want it to die so badly, but SOO MANY IDEAAAS, you know? And I just HATE sad endings, but how can an anti-MarySue fic have a happy ending?

...

...

...YEAH! A CHALLENGE!

Oh, and... sorry for the wait. I can't BELIEVE how lazy I was to put this off! I mean, one well-written chapter takes, what, five to ten minutes to write? Compared to the 5+ hours I take drawing, that's nothing!

And that last thing? That's a kawaii little thing I'd love calling... umm... KAWAII! *shot hard*

No, it's a bonus story. It'll only last for about one... maybe two more chapters though. Enjoy!

-Dimmy the Fool