AUTHOR's NOTE – So this is my first attempt at M rated writing…so hopefully it wont be too bad.
This is about Sirius and my OC, Naina, and tells of their relationship with each other…how they each battle their insecurities and the others' too and whether they succeed or not…
PLOT – Sirius and Naina – two souls, two approaches to life and love but they are connected by a thread – a thread of life and love itself. Sirius/OC. Rated M for a reason.
Disclaimer - I dont own HP, obviously...but I do own my own characters in this story as well as the plot itself. Using either of these without my permission will not be appreciated AT ALL.
IMPORTANT - I am getting some PMs telling me that people cant review for some reason...? What exactly happens? Please do tell me...send me a PM or something so that I can check out whats wrong...Thanks! Enjoy.
There Is Nothing Else
Chapter 2 – Let me hold you close…
"Hi…"
Naina yawned, stretching her arms and then turning back to face the young man whose chest had been her pillow for last night. She looked up at him, eyes full of love and shyness of the morning after of the first time, smiling goofily at him.
He looked…great for the lack of a more encompassing better word and Naina's breath got caught in her throat as she took his sight in – propped against the headboard, hair falling on his eyes, bare chested with small marks of her actions last night starting to be visible and his gaze on her intense…actually serious. And no soon as Naina comprehended that, a dark thought started settling itself in the pit of her stomach…was Sirius not happy?
Her smile started to lose its spark and turned hesitant in a matter of moments and she sat up straighter, supporting herself on her elbows in the process…not sure whether she could touch him…whether he wanted her to touch him...she could not kid herself at that moment, she knew she was scared of his unexpected seriousness and also the lack of anything she had expected would take place between them on getting up…
Sirius noticed the slump in her shoulders, the change in her smile and the shift in her eyes and the hesitation in her actions and instantly a sense of guilt invaded his already tormented self – Naina was not to blame for his lack of feeling the emotion of love or the rather his inability to experience and share the kind of love she had mumbled out loud earlier in the morning – heck! She had been mumbling in her sleep! She probably did not even realize she had said it out loud…besides, it was her first morning after and she had trusted him enough to share such an important event with him, she had given the whole of herself to him, she had trusted him with herself and she deserved way better than his sullen looks…but…'No buts, Sirius! She doesn't need this right now! Look at her! Look at how her smile has faltered…she should not be feeling like this after the most important night in her life! Get over yourself!'
He gave her a small smile, lifting his hand to bring her closer and comfort her and try and make it all better, at least for the time being, with a kiss but changing his mind halfway, he just lightly rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand and was almost thrown off guard by the effect of such a simple and deliberately toned down gesture – her eyes lit up, the purple in them shining through with more exuberance than ever before, accompanied by a radiant smile which seemed to have brightened up not only her face but also the whole room.
She pulled herself closer to him and snuggled up against him on the side, placing a soft kiss on his chest – right where his heart was thumping an anguish filled beat – and sighed a deep content sigh.
"Thank You. It was perfect." She said earnestly and full of love, looking up at him with beautiful innocent eyes while one of her hands played with his long dark locks.
"You don't need to thank me." Sirius said, closing his eyes…wondering what the hell had changed with those four words - 'I love you, Sirius' – and whether she could feel his anguish, the change in the room…or if she didn't, if he had successfully managed to hide it for the time being, then what would she feel when she did realize…would she remain the same Naina Kapoor or would it break her, would she still consider him a friend or just curse him to oblivion or worse push him out of her life, would she ever talk to him again or would she ignore his existence…could they be the same or would she break…would she break because of him?
Her next words made Sirius cringe inwardly and curse his own self and his family and his history and his inability and his destiny – "But I do. You made it perfect…exactly like I ever dreamt it would be."
They lay there for a few moments…each lost in their own thoughts and feelings but in starkly different thoughts and feelings – Naina was still pleasantly blushing when she thought of last night and of her position presently, tucked under Sirius Black's strong arm…she vaguely remembered saying something or rather mumbling the three all important words earlier but was not sure if Sirius had even heard her…and she wasn't about to say them out loud just again…she would wait, make it more special…or perhaps wait for Sirius to say them and didn't boys get awkward when that moment came…she would love to see how Sirius would utter them and she knew it would be memorable! She laughed softly to herself, clinging closer to him.
Sirius heard her soft laugh rumble through her and him and he found it adorable…and he would have pulled her up and kissed her senseless…had he not been so preoccupied and utterly terrified. He had no clue of how to break it to Naina that he was incapable of giving or receiving the kind of love she expected but he did not want to lose her either…not until it became the very last resort or rather something that would be better for her… 'Who are you kidding, Black? Of course its better for her to be with someone who can love her whole heartedly and be respectful and grateful for her love in return…you don't need time to figure that one out!' Sirius, thought darkly…his grip around her loosening.
Noticing this, Naina looked at him questioningly at which Sirius shrugged and started getting up from the bed, "We should get going…wouldn't want to get caught…"
Naina gave him a cheeky smile before moving closer to him, on her knees, keeping her hands clutching the blanket around her tantalizingly and said with a wink, "Not quite the rule breaker when it comes to me, hmmm?"
Sirius looked at her, breath hitched at her choice of words and also on how utterly beautiful she looked, "You have no idea."
He turned away from her, finding and pulling on his boxers and pants and gently tossing her her clothing as he came across them, all the time fighting the battle with himself so as not to go back to her and ravish her the whole day…he couldn't.
Naina found his sudden change in behavior a bit odd but then decided he was just concentrating on getting them back to Hogwarts before there was a hue and cry about their locations…after all they had spent an entire night out of the castle! She started putting on her clothes, remembering in detail the way each article had come off last night…her face turning a bright red and her smile getting goofier and goofier…she was so engrossed in her own world that she never noticed how Sirius Black leaned against a wall looking at her like he wanted to capture the moment forever…with an emotion in his eyes that he did not know existed and had been fighting against its very conception his whole life.
She squiggled her small hand in his big one as he led the way to Honeydukes or more specifically to its cellar, but Naina did not know that yet.
"Why are we going to Honeydukes, Sirius?"
"Hmmm…?" Sirius replied distracted by her warm hand in his cold one.
"Why are we going to Honeydukes?" Naina asked again, patiently.
"That's our way to Hogwarts…", feeling her confused look he added, "just wait…"
Getting inside Honeydukes, Sirius realized it would be a bit tricky to get to the cellar considering the absence of the usual distraction of a multitude of Hogwarts students but somehow he managed to get himself and Naina in the cellar, much to Naina's confusion.
"Sirius…whata are we do-Woah! What is this?"
"Our secret way to Hogwarts, Milady." Showing off Marauder genius had made Sirius forget his mental battle and he became chirpy and excited.
Naina let out an amazed laugh and an 'Oooh' once she found herself in the passageway…so this was how the Marauders got the supplies for the parties they threw... "Impressive, Milord!"
"Not as impressive as your eyes…" The response had let itself out and Sirius mentally whacked himself as he saw the said eyes light up and the bearer of them pass him a dazzling smile…this was not going to help things!
He held his tongue for the rest of the journey and let out a breath of relief mentally when they finally reached the entrance back into Hogwarts.
He made his way out and extended a hand to Naina to help her through, his eyes smiling as he noted her expression of utter fascination…
"Oh my, Sirius…that is so brilliant! And you guys discovered it? Wow!" She stretched on her toes and planted an ecstatic kiss on him and just the feel of her lips on his own for the first time since last night made Sirius lose whatever 'sense' he had been trying to accumulate and he wrapped his arms around her, supporting her, and deepened the kiss begging for entrance which Naina readily granted him.
He kissed for all it was worth and his arms held her securely against his wide strong chest and Naina's own arms encircled themselves around his neck and managed to do the impossible – bring them even closer to each other…finally, Sirius was being normal – passionate and gentle all the same…the morning's awkwardness was passed by her as morning after insecurity…
She had half a mind…or rather three quarters…to tell Sirius to take them back to that inn but before she could relay her plans to her companion, they were distracted by a deliberate cough.
Breaking apart, they found themselves facing a smirking James Potter, a 'trying hard to hide a smile' Remus Lupin and a laughing Peter Pettigrew. Naina blushed hard while Sirius looked flustered and annoyed – he didn't appreciate the interruption just when he had decided that he would be with Naina until it was absolutely essential that he leave her…she hadn't even actually properly confessed to loving him anyway! Maybe he was jumping to conclusions!
"Whats up, guys?" Naina, trying hard to steer the conversation before it actually started.
"Well Naina dear, the correct and more pertinent question would be 'whats up with you two?' considering that Mr. Black here wasn't in his bed last night and now we catch you two in this particular corridor…wont you say it's a tad bit suspicious, Moony?" teased James, making Naina cheeks more warm and red and causing her to give a pleading look to Sirius, urging him to say or do something to shut his friends up…and he did.
Sirius flashed his friends a lazy smirk, in vintage 'Sirius Black' style, before pulling Naina back into his embrace and placing his lips back on hers with more vigour than previously. This action of his did not help Naina's embarrassed persona but she quickly forgot all about that as Sirius's lips spelt magic on hers and besides, it did do the trick – The Marauders let out a joking "Geez!", a loud guffaw and "Oh dear…look what you made them do, Prongs!" which were ignored by Sirius verbally but Naina did feel him smile into her lips, as she did too.
"Okay-okay, point made you too! Get a room!" James called out, leaving with two of the Marauders and just as they were about to round the corner, they heard Sirius yell behind them, "Oh trust me, we did!" and then a distinctive thump and an "Ow!"
Lily Evans looked up from her vanity table where she had been trying to French braid her hair as the door to the 6th Years Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory opened and in walked in, or rather floated in, one of her very best friends, Naina Kapoor…only to be engulfed in a mania of excited shrieks, Lily included!
"So! Where were you? We heard the Marauders talking about how Sirius wasn't back either… -"
"Yeah…that's why we didn't send out a search party! –"
"And also Sirius' message to James telling you two are okay and to tell us the same!"
Naina had been quite thrown off by the enthusiastic girls and was trying to figure out how to tell them what happened in the most classy way possible – giving them the gossip and yet saving all the very private emotions to self – but the last utterance caught her attention.
"He did?"
"Yeah! Otherwise, we that is us and the Marauders would have created havoc!" scoffed Ressa or rather Teressa Mathews.
"He never told me…and I am so sorry, guys, the thought didn't even cross my mind! I was just so…caught up in the moment…" Naina replied dreamily.
"Nevermind! Details!" screamed an excited Alice Prewett, steering Naina to the nearest bed and unceremoniously plonking her down on it along with herself, staring at her expectedly.
Naina laughed and tried to ask for support but found the other two also looking at her the same way, having settled themselves on the bed…reminding Naina of all the times they had all fit themselves on one bed late into the night, gossiping and making air castles and a warm glow lit her up on the inside – the four musketeers they jokingly referred to themselves as - 'One for all, all for one.' Lily Evans, prefect and red head. One of the most intelligent witches to cross Hogwarts threshold…McGonagall's words, not her's…Lily had been the first student Naina had interacted with on their first train ride to Hogwarts and they had stuck it out through 5 years, now being their 6th. Naina never said anything explicitly but she knew how important Lily was in her life – her best friend and confidante.
Teressa Mathews, a medium height curvy witch with layered brown hair and a thoughtful expression…she was the mother hen of the group – took great care of the friendships they all shared and had been the one to come up with their title as being a half blood she knew quite a bit about the muggle world as well.
And lastly, Alice Prewett, a beautiful witch with short curly black hair and a constant smile gracing her face – she was the protector…Alice may look dainty and nice but make no mistake, if you crossed her or in her opinion, insulted or hurt any of her three best friends…you should run and run fast.
Naina was still thinking about all of this when she felt a jab on her side and Alice mock glaring at her… "What happened last night, Naina Layla Kapoor?"
Naina looked at her and then at each of her friends, the goofy smile making its return and she closed her eyes and recounted the night…she didn't need to keep them open to see the reaction of her friends, she knew them well enough.
"Oh. My. God." Lily said, encompassing the feelings of the others in three words.
"Yeah…" Naina sighed.
"Was he big?"
All the other three girls turned to look at Alice's curious gaze before breaking out in giggles...and hail hearty laughter filled the girls' dormitory.
"So Sirius, my boy, tell the wise old Prongs here how was last night?" James said, thumping Sirius' back where he sat on his own bed.
"Yeah, Padfoot…go on…how was it doing IT with Naina Kapoor?" Peter's sly voice joined in.
Sirius looked pleadingly at Remus but Remus Lupin was in no mood of helping out, after all Sirius himself always put people in such awkward situations so he just shrugged and winked from his corner of the room making Sirius scowl at him and mutter under his breath.
"What do you wanna know?" Sirius asked, resigning to his fate.
"That's like my boy! For starters, a general question – how was she?"
Sirus sighed, making them all exchange glances, before answering "Great. Fucking great."
"Ah, Padfoot…you didn't have to go into lewdness." Quipped Remus, dodging a pillow Sirius threw his way while the other two laughed.
"Rating?" asked Peter.
Sirius looked at him hard and then quickly looked at his shoes before mumbling something.
"Sorry, didn't catch that…Padfoot…care to repeat?" laughed James, obviously no stranger to what Sirius was feeling, having always treated him like a brother.
Sirius gave him a dark look before aiming his reply at the ceiling hoping for some miracle of them not teasing him, "10."
"Wasn't this her first time?" asked Peter while James exchanged an evil look with Remus, undoubtedly planning how to torture Sirius with this piece of information…after all, Sirius had never given any girl before Naina a perfect score…and there had been quite a few and most of them way more experienced than Naina.
"Shut it, Wormtail."
"Ooooohhh…the eternal bachelor seems to be falling hard!" teased James, "But I got to go, Lily will be at the library right about now…need to show her I have grown up…want to join me, guys? Don't want to creep her out."
"Fat chance at that." Muttered Sirius under his breath making James scowl at him – it was part of his 'Woo Lily' plan to get more serious and show her that he was now grown up…largely.
"I'll come, Prongs. Need to finish this essay…let me get my books…"
"Okay, Wormtail. Waiting downstairs."
Sirius was in the process of removing his shoes when he froze in the action at Peter's words, right before he went down to meet James – "Seem to be falling in love, eh Sirius? Haha!"
Remus laughed at that but stopped when he noticed Sirius frozen half way…and suddenly a sense of worry for his troubled friend enveloped Remus – he knew why was Sirius so commitment phobic but he also knew how for four months, the same Sirius Black as the one who changed girlfriends by the week since 4th year, had not even looked at any other person – Naina had had that effect on him. He knew implicitly, because Sirius never really actually mentioned it, that Sirius had liked Naina for a long time but had been hesitant to approach her – first out of shyness, then defiance (the 'I am Sirius Black. She should come to me on her own' syndrome and its after effects) and finally concern for her for Sirius never wanted Naina to be one of his conquests and he didn't trust himself with her and therefore he had asked her out only when he thought that he could be pursued to not to pursue some new girl every week. And hence, it just hit Remus Lupin that maybe Sirius was once again feeling that insecurity, that troublesome past and its lasting effects on his psyche.
But he be damned if he let Sirius ruin this one – he knew Naina was a great girl and that she made his friend happy and he knew Sirius deserved to be happy and loved and he needed to not run away every time…so he approached his friend carefully and sat down right next to him and he knew it was the realization that he was present in the room that made Sirius try and act normal but Remus was no fool.
"Sirius…don't do the same with her."
Sirius looked up at Remus with shock and comprehension and a tiny bit of hope that maybe Remus could make him see sense making Remus sigh and continue.
"I mean it, Sirius. Don't let others' words spark off your insecurities…give this relationship time and let it grow without bothering it too much…without trying to limit it. You may be surprised, Padfoot."
Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song
Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies
I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come
Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you
And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me
~ Come away with me, Norah Jones
So…what do you think? Any good? Want more? This is my first attempt at the M rated genre…so sorry if its not upto the mark…reviews and comments and suggestions welcomed.
If you like the sound of Sirius and Naina, please do check out my others stories on them…
So…you want more? Want to know what happens next? If yeah…review. :p
Please do make your suggestions… :)
A quick shout out to Writerchic88 and hazellily for reviewing and asking me to continue…taking your advice guys! Thank You for commenting! :)
Thanks for reading.
KingKhan aka Rae