Dear Twilight,
Only I can be pale white and have perfect hair without seeming gay.
Sincerely, Draco Malfoy
Dear Twilight,
I had no idea there could be any girl more stupid, irritating, clingy or whiny than Pansy Parkinson.
You proved me wrong.
Sincerely, Draco Malfoy
Dear Twilight,
Bella Swan means 'beautiful swan', right? Big mistake there, because I'm pretty sure Bella is as much of a beautiful swan as Millicent Bulstrode.
Dear Twilight,
I must congratulate you for creating Bella; she makes people feel so much better about themselves! I mean, she makes Goyle feel like a genius, Granger feel like a supermodel and Weasley feel like the prima ballerina of the Russian ballet!
Sincerely, Draco Malfoy
Dear Twilight,
Forks High is such a pathetic school. It's even more pathetic than Hogwarts. This place has gone to the dogs. Luckily next year, I'll be transferred to Pigfarts!
Sincerely, Draco Malfoy