Disclaimer: I don't own anything… how depressing.
Ch. 5- The Haunting Presence of Memory
Narcissa Malfoy lied on her bed and wept. Her love for Harry was so strong, so real… and so confusing. She had only felt this kind of love once before and not towards her deceased husband. No there was another man that she had loved… someone whom she had put all her trust in on several occasions… someone who still let her down. Severus Snape.
Narcissa and Severus were never friends at school, though she was sure that he couldn't have been too far behind her year. Though she supposed at that time she had been too obsessed with Lucius to notice the lonely boy in the corner.
They met during a Death Eater revel. Narcissa and Lucius had been married for a year and things were already starting to lose their spark. Ironically it was Lucius himself who first introduced Severus and Narcissa, and for her it was love at first sight. There was something extraordinary about his dark manner, something dangerously seductive in his voice.
They immediately became friends. They would meet in secret and talk for hours upon end. Each day Narcissa was falling harder and harder for Severus and before long he too was deeply in love. However Lucius was always in the way. Somehow he would always be there when Severus planned to visit Narcissa at Malfoy Manor. Then one day, the forbidden couple got their chance.
Lucius was sent away on business to Romania and as soon as he had left Severus apparated to Malfoy Manor.
"Why, Severus, I'm so glad to see you," said Narcissa with a mysterious smile. Instead of answering, Severus grabbed her and pulled her into a long, passionate kiss. From that moment on everything was a blur to Narcissa- a beautiful, surreal, wonderful blur. She remembered taking him up to her bedroom… how he kissed her neck so passionately… how her hands trembled slightly as she slid off her dress… the feel of his warm body pressed up against hers. She knew what they were doing was dangerous. Should Lucius ever find out he would surely kill Severus. But she couldn't care less. Not as long as she had Severus right there, for as long as that moment could last.
He stayed for two weeks; the two best weeks of Narcissa's life. She never felt more loved, more beautiful. There was nothing that they didn't try, nothing that was more wonderful.
After a while Narcissa began to feel guilty. She was, after all, a married woman. But one look from Severus was enough to wipe away all of her guilt, fear, and apprehension. He told her that he loved her. And she believed him.
As the second week of Severus's stay came to a close, they almost got caught. They were in bed together when there was a sharp crack downstairs. Lucius was home.
"Oh my god," whispered Narcissa. "Severus, get out of here! I'll stall him." Severus, who was a man of few words, simply gave her a quick kiss and began to get dressed. Narcissa pulled on her lingerie, hoping to convince her husband that she had dressed that way to celebrate his arrival. She walked quickly down the stairs; no matter that she was having an affair she was a Malfoy and a Black besides and neither Malfoys nor Blacks ran. Never… never ever… no matter the circumstance… would you stop pushing the issue here? I'm trying to write.
She took a deep breath and nonchalantly walked down the stairs like wandering the Manor in your underwear was a normal thing to do. Apparently Lucius loved the fact that she could be practically naked and not care, at least that was what she assumed judging on his reaction to her outfit. Narcissa allowed him to carry her up to their room, the same room that had recently been occupied by the two lovers. Thankfully Severus had made the bed, so there was no way for Lucius to know about her affair. And so she let him continue, wistfully thinking of the other man that had been in that position not too long ago.
Narcissa and Severus spent many happy days in the same manner; waiting for Lucius to leave on one of his excursions and then wasting the days away in each other's arms. Nothing could destroy their happy little world. Well, almost nothing.
Narcissa had never noticed the increasing regularity and length of Lucius' travels. She'd never had reason to suspect him. Never had thought that her deepest secret was identical to that of her husband's.
Lucius was cheating on her. She discovered a note hidden in his cloak pocket one day while he was at work. It was a sensuous steamy love letter in a woman's hand. The writer kept mentioning how she couldn't wait to see Lucius again and more importantly, certain aspects of his anatomy. Fuming, Narcissa looked at the signature of the offensive wench and a look of shock spread across her face when she saw the name Bellatrix signed in large flowing script. For the first time Narcissa felt the sting of betrayal. The fact that Bella- her dear sister whom she had looked up to her entire life- would do something like that to her caused a sick burning sensation in the pit of her stomach.
And then there was Lucius. She really oughtn't to have felt so terrible. After all, she was doing the same thing to him, wasn't she? Yet somehow this completely changed the game. Lucius was hers. She could fool around with whomever she chose but he was supposed to stay in line. Her elegant face twisted until the unmistakable print of revenge replaced her natural beauty. Oh she would triumph. She would not be made the fool of any man. After all, she was a Black. And although it may appear that Black men have all the power, every woman who had ever married into or been born in that household knew the true power lay with the ladies. Lucius and Bella would both pay and Severus would help her in her scheme.
She remembered that the day they were to carry out their plot Severus arrived two hours early. He had looked so dangerously sexy that they couldn't help but have some fun first. The way that their bodies moved and melted together almost made Narcissa forget about the plot. She just lied in bed feeling the warmth of his skin, the strength of his body. She remembered that twice Severus had tried to get her to start preparing for the task at hand, and twice she had pulled him back on top of her. Narcissa just loved being with him and did not want to think about what they were going to attempt to do. Finally Severus pulled himself halfway up, leaned over and kissed her chest.
"It's time," he said quietly.
And the events that would follow would change them forever.
Narcissa snapped out of her reverie as the telltale pop of someone apparating sounded in the main foyer. She got up, looked in her mirror, and wiped away the tears that stained her cheeks. She had really been in love only once before, certainly not to her husband, but her new relationship was making her begin to rethink the fact that had been the only constant in her life for a long time. She longed to run into Harry's arms as she had Severus's, well not run, she was a Black and Blacks never ran for any reason. Not for their lives, not out of fear, no way would any self respecting Black run. Regardless of how fast she was going, she still wanted to go faster and she was beginning to get confused. She had thought that she loved Severus but, after all, if he could be replaced so easily, maybe her feelings were changing.
Harry began calling her name from the foyer, in a few seconds he would begin to search for her. She checked her appearance one more time before coming out of the shadows of the second floor landing and down into Harry's waiting arms. She kissed him hello and put her arm through his. That simple motion felt so right to her as they prepared to apparate to the restaurant where their dinner would be served, maybe she was finally in love.