Choosing clever titles is a constant stress. Sorry this one is a bit odd.

Chapter 12

The Lamentations of Skin

"Did you hear me, Ellie?"

I never could get warm. Maybe it's psychosomatic. Maybe I'm just too scared of...whatever it is this is.

"Ellie."

No, I'm not crazy or in need of therapy. It's just...he's old, isn't he?

"Crane. Ellie!"

Is that rude? Asking a man what their age is. I know women hate it. I would hate it. But...I should know by this point right? We've mussed around enough...

A fumbling hand on her shoulder pulled her from her confounding reverie.

"Ellie, wake up!"

Ellie looked at her manager, Scotty. He seemed rather upset with her, but Ellie could not understand why.

"Ellie..." Scotty began, sighing with obvious exasperation. "What is going on with you today? I'm this close to calling up Shelby and sending you home."

That caught Ellie's wavering attention. She couldn't be sent home. Roy Humphries had yet to make a dime off of her songs. She needed the money.

"Why?"

Scotty, a usually mild tempered man, forced himself to glare at his worker bee.

"Well," He said, seeming hesitant. "For starters, honey, you look like crap. Almost like shit."

He nodded his head towards the long piece of mirrored glass that hung on the wall just inside the kitchen entrance.

Ellie, getting a good look at her own mug for the first time all morning, had to agree with him. Crap was a nice way of putting it.

She had been in such a rush that morning that she had completely forgotten to apply any make-up to her face. Only remembering once she had clamored into her car, she was fortunate to find a bottle of mascara in her glove compartment. While waiting at a particularly stubborn red light, she hurriedly applied two quick coats, managing to only once stab herself in the eye. With no foundation the slight line of freckles over the bridge of her nose was clearly visible. Dark circles hung under her eyes like storm clouds. Her hair, uncombed and scraggily, hung out of her hair tie and head band like wiry wisps of straw.

"Are you sick, Ellie?" Scotty asked, folding his hands over his chest. "Be honest. Last time you were sick you tried to cover it up and ended up giving half of our regulars your food poisoning flu. This is a restaurant. I can't have my waitresses-"

"I'm not sick, Scotty." Ellie insisted. She really wasn't. She was just late. And tired, very tired. She had been at Eric's the night before messing around and talking. Well, she tried to talk. She always did. She wanted to know him. More about who he was, what exactly it was he did, how he came to be.

However, it seemed like, every time she tried, he would dance around her questions with floaty words and sweet kisses. In fact, that very thing had happened that morning...

Ellie remembered it because she had woken up early. The young morning winter sun was shooting clear grey light past the thin curtains in Eric's sparse bedroom.

She shook the thoughts from her mind. Scotty was still eyeing her as if she may keel over at any second. Adjusting her apron, she stepped back out onto the floor ready to prove him wrong.

The first table to visit was an easy one. She knew all of the patrons.

Barbara, Adele, Louisa, and Mary were the resident Old Lady Club. It was a name that they had come up with on their own. Usually the hobbled straight up the stair to the coffee bar, gabbing away every Friday morning.

"Ladies," Ellie greeted, offering them her very best smile. "Dining this morning?"

"It's Barbara's 83rd birthday." Adele said proudly. "We had to come in early to celebrate!"

"Well, I assume you will still be wanting your coffees?"

"Lattes today, dearie, special occasion!"

Ellie nodded. "So four lattes."

"Extra hot of course." Adele said. "And slip some whipped cream onto Barbara's, hmm?"

"Of course." Ellie said, pocketing her notepad and pencil. "I'll bring those right down."

She traipsed up the narrow staircase and over to where George, the morning shift Barista, was working away.

"Morning George." Ellie said, dropping her cheery, customer-pleasing persona.

George just nodded to her. He was busy handing off a set of drinks to an impatient looking business woman in a three piece suit.

"Nothing good about it, Ellie?" George said, after the woman had left in a huff.

"Not particularly." Ellie said, pushing out one of the cherry wooden bar stools. "The Ladies would like Lattes today. With whip."

"Extra hot?"

"Yes, sir." Ellie said, leaning her chin on her hand. "I'll just wait..."

"Don't you have other tables?"

"It's 7:30 in the morning."

"Right."

Ellie felt her eyes beginning to droop. Why was she so tired? Her arms and legs felt like flesh covered lead. Her head felt as though it weighed hundreds of pounds. And it seemed as though, no matter how deeply she breathed, she couldn't get enough air to fill her lungs. She shook her head back and forth hoping to shake the sleepiness out of her system.

Once more customers come piling in, I'll be fine. It's the sitting around waiting...

George slammed a small cup in front of her. "You look like you could use a pick-me-up."

It was a shot or two of espresso. Ellie gratefully accepted the cup and downed the bitterness in a quick second.

"Thanks George."

George, never a man for many words, just nodded. Ellie watched him worked trying to keep her head from bobbing.

When he was finished, she placed her tray on the counter and helped him arrange the four steaming cups.

"Who's the birthday girl?" George asked.

"Barbara. Does she get the one with the heart?"

George nodded a bit bashful. "I thought it would be a nice touch."

"It sure is." Ellie hoisted the tray onto her shoulder. "Thanks, George."

She didn't remember falling. She wasn't even sure she had fell. It certainly did seem that that was the case. She could feel the sleek wooden floor below her, but she couldn't remember reaching down to touch it. Why would she do that? Caress the floor with her bare palms. Why would she press her cheek into it? Silly thing.

As her senses began to become more clear she realized that she must have fallen. Her head was ringing dully. Her palms stung angrily. Something, she couldn't tell what, was searing into the skin of her arm.

Suddenly, comforting whispers and hands were fussing to help her up.

Sweet, wonderful Nora was by her side cooing like a worried mother.

"Ellie! Are you alright? What happened?"

Ellie wanted to say something like: "Fine." "I just fell" "Yes, fine, thank you."

But is seemed her mind was a fuzz of shock. She couldn't form the words, move her lips, even conjure a grunt. Her vision seemed grey.

Nora had yet to stop her mumbles as she pulled Ellie from her prone position on the floor into a limp kneel. Ellie stared blankly at her palms which were red like a blush. She still couldn't wrap her mind around the falling. Nora's voice seemed to be shrinking into the darkness.

Ellie felt as though she could fall into a deep sleep. Her head lolled to her chest and she fell into to Nora's arms.

"Ellie!" Nora whispered. "Ellie?"

It was strange. She could feel the vibrations of Nora's words, but she could not understand them. The pain in her arm was beginning to grow more and more fervent. She wanted to cradle it against her chest, hold it close. But she couldn't control her body. She felt so...

Weak...

The rang in her head like a dull bell. It was the word she had heard Eric say that morning. The one he thought went unheard. Weak...That was it.

I feel weak.

The very thought steamed her blood. She wasn't weak. No, she was the opposite. Concentrating all of her energy into lifted herself from Nora's grip, Ellie felt reality come crashing back.

She winced, a stinging tear welling in her eye. Her arm really did hurt.

"Ellie!" This time it was Scotty. "What happened?"

"She fell down the stairs, Scott." Nora said panicked. "I didn't see it but, I heard the crash and then she was just lying at the bottom. I think she burned herself, she was carrying a tray of coffee..."

Scotty knelt down at Ellie side to inspect her. "Ellie? Are you alright."

Ellie nodded. Instinctively she reached for her arm but seethed at her own touch.

Scotty helped the shell-shocked to her feet. Ellie could feel her legs quivering under her like branches in a windstorm. She had to summon all of her strength to stand upright.

"It is burned!" Nora breathed. "Oh, Ellie! I'll take her to the hospital."

Ellie looked helplessly between her coworker and her boss. Scotty ran a stressed hand through his straw colored hair.

"I suppose you should. I'll call Shelby, but you have to come back Nora. Robin's on vacation and we need people on the floor."

Nora nodded and wrapped a protective arm over Ellie's shaking shoulders. "Come on, El."

Ellie wanted to protest. She needed the hours. She didn't have time to go to the emergency room. If it was a burn she could slap some vaseline on it and go on. The words were flooding her mouth ready to come out, but she couldn't bring herself to speak them.

Nora led Ellie's to her car in the back parking lot. Ellie fell into the passenger seat, her body going limp. Her head rolled to the side to glance at Nora.

"Nora, wait-"

"Don't you protest, Ellie." Nora said, jamming her key into the ignition. "I know you don't-"

"But, Nora!"

"-want to lose hours, but that burn looks awful. I'm sure that they'll just wrap it up nice and quick-"

"Nora!" Ellie almost yelled.

Nora looked at her. "What?"

Ellie sunk lower into the seat. "I-I don't...I can't...I don't have health insurance. And I can't afford...You know hospital's they'll charge me for everything! From Neosporin to those crappy blankets..."

Nora appraised Ellie with a look of solid pity. Ellie hated that. The pity. She wished she hadn't said anything. She should have just kept her mouth shut and dealt with the payments later.

"I know I free clinic in the West Side." Nora said quietly.

"Thanks..." Ellie said, humiliation flooding her in waves.

Waiting rooms were the absolute worst. Ellie always hated them. No one waited in waiting rooms for something wonderful. Nothing good ever waited on the other side of the door.

This waiting room was no different from the others she had been subjected to. The walls, the lights, the floors, everything was far too bright and far too white. There was such a thing as too sterile apparently.

What she hated most about waiting rooms was the complex. She always felt small. It was as if she entered the room as a child. A meek shadow of herself that she had thought she had grown out of.

She sat in a stiff chair, cradling her bandaged arm to her chest. It was a nasty burn. The nurse "tsked" and "tutted" while wrapping it up. Ellie had only gotten one clear look at it. Angry red splotches covered her arm from elbow to wrist.

The nurse had given her a cooling cream to help manage the swelling. The visit it self had only taken an hour. But now she was stuck. Nora had to leave. And Ellie was stranded. She didn't know who to call.

She wanted to call Eric. He was the first person who popped into her mind. She wanted him to wrap his long arms around her. She wanted to feel his strangely cool skin against her wounded arm.

But she didn't have his cell phone number. He had never given it to her. She hadn't realized it until that moment.

Why hasn't he given it to me? She was saddened by the thought. He didn't have her number. She didn't have his. What did it mean?

He doesn't want to communicate with me...that's what it means.

She sighed deeply, rubbing her eyes with her stronger hand.

So this is how low I've fallen. Living on my own, talking to my dog, working a menial job, fighting to write, and...messing around with a man who doesn't want me to have his number. Fuck. Fucking Fuck.

"Roy." She said.

"Ellie, hey." Roy said, his voice faint. "Where are you? We were going to meet at the studio..."

"Oh." Ellie said lamely. "I had...an accident at work. Had to go get my arm, erm, fixed."

"Are you alright?" Roy said, actually quite ernest.

"Fine." Ellie said. "But stranded. Could you...?"

"Where are you?"

She was late. That wasn't like her.

Loki tapped an impatient finger against the table. Usually around this time she came sniffing about. He was anxious to see her. She had slipped off that morning with such speed. She didn't even offer him a decent farewell.

He was beginning to grow bored with this endeavor. He had plans that needed implementing. He had even considered taking the girl along with him. It wouldn't be terribly difficult. With a little coaxing he could convince her that New Mexico was a fine place to be. It wasn't very far from where he was now.

The doctor whose name he had stolen. Jane. They were in New Mexico. If he was to avenge his families betrayal he would need information. Information he could only acquire from the scientists in New Mexico.

And here he was waiting around for a flighty mortal.

No more.

He would have to go to her. Words were already spinning around in his head. Words that would carry her with him away from this boring little town. And onward.

With a quick snap he was at her door. Pretense dissipating. He had her heart in his hand, he had no need for fanciful niceties. He knocked twice, knowing it would be enough.

A minute slugged by. Finally, she opened the door.

Something was wrong with her. Even when she registered who it was, her eyes did not sparkle like they usually did. She was wearing an old baggy shirt and fading sweatpants. She only opened the door a crack and did not invite him inside.

"What?" she muttered.

"What?" Loki repeated, looking down at her. "I was worried about you."

Her face was vacant, devoid of her usual smile. "Hmmm. Sorry, Eric, not tonight."

Ellie moved to close the door, but Loki raised his hand to it, stopping her.

"Elizabeth, surely you don't-"

"Let go of the door." She snapped.

Loki would do no such thing. He did not take commands anymore. With much ease, he pushed the door open and stepped inside. Ellie stumbled backwards, still holding onto the doorknob. She hid behind the door.

"What are you doing?" She said, sounding surprised and defensive.

Loki raised a swift hand to the side of her face and was surprised when she flinched away from him. He straightened his posture.

"Elizabeth." He said in a whisper.

"Don't." Ellie countered. "I'm angry with you. Leave."

Angry? Loki couldn't understand it. What had he done?

"Leave!" She said again with more purpose. She was angry. Angry that, when she needed him, he was unreachable. She wouldn't put up with that. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to come calling.

Loki shook his head, quite fed up with her sudden attempt at domination.

"I will do no such thing." He whispered cruelly. He could hear her beast of a pet begin to growl menacingly. With hardly a thought, the creature was silenced and rendered still.

"Eric..." Ellie said, trying her best to match his tone. "Leave. Now."

In flash he had her wrist in his grip. He pulled her too him. She gasped and struggled, but she was nothing.

"Eric!" Her scream was broken. By something that could only be...

Pain. Loki was certainly no stranger to pain. At times it has been his greatest ally, his weakness, his only friend. His pain was the stuff of legends, told on every plain. Yes, the god of mischief had known pain.

But to see it now, reflected in her eyes...Pain seemed entirely new. In past times, Loki had looked on Pain as the ultimate weapon. Pain was power, fear, limitless, delicious. Until now.

Ellie's eyes, usually bathed in warmness and fire, were sunken and low. They pierced through him and stabbed him with her Pain. A pain that he was to blame for causing.

I am to blame.

He was always to blame, of course. His entire life he had been blamed. Watched and judged by every eye. She had never watched him though, never judged him in that way.

He looked at her wrist, which he still held tightly. It was only now that he saw the state of her. Her thin little arm wrapped in bandages. He could feel the blood pulsing, working quickly, and attempting to heal. He could feel the shuddering of her weakened appendage.

Something cracked within his hardened exterior. She was in Pain.

It made him feel ill. The sight of her, the pain living and thriving behind her eyes.

His grip loosened and her arm feel from his grasp. Hearing her sigh of distress, Loki's eye trained onto hers. She wasn't looking at him.

She was angry with him. She was in pain. What had he done?

He had wished for pain to fall onto the Joutans. On his so-called companions. On his father. On his brother. On that woman. But...

He was suddenly on his knees in front of her. He stole her wounded arm from her, holding it gently in his hands.

"How did this..." He began.

Ellie was shocked and scared. She wasn't entirely sure was had just transpired. But hse could feel his cool skin through the thick bandages. A terrible relief oozed into her damaged skin.

"I-" She began, struggling with logic and want. He had spoken to her with such menace. And now he was before her, kneeling like a troubled child.

"An accident." She managed. "At work."

As his hand, gentler than a breeze, ran over her burn, Ellie felt all protest give way. It felt so wonderful. She gasped, overcome with the feeling.

His steady movement stopped. Ellie opened her eyes.

"Have I hurt you?" He asked.

"No..." She said, although it sounded questionable. He looked up at her, knowing she was lying. He had hurt her. She was hurt. And trying to hide it, ignore it.

A long lost will hidden deep within him slithered into the light. Without understanding the consequences of his actions, he waved one hand over her arm.

Ellie watched, eyes wide, heart stilled, as her bandaged began to pull away from her arm. It was as if they had been commanded into movement. Soon they were gone, falling to the floor with the grace of dead autumn leaves.

She winced as Eric's hand was on her arm again, gripping her skin. It seemed so large. And then...

Right in front of her eyes, his skin began to change. The normally statuesque allibastar suddenly became blue. As blue as the coming of morning. Ellie blinked, but the blue remained, covering his hand, traveling to his wrist and past the hem of his jacket. Blue.

She breathed as his skin became deliciously icy to her touch. It was so wonderfully cold she felt her knees go weak. He moved his hand over her marred skin, making sure not to leave any ugly red splotch untouched.

Ellie watched with quiet fascination as the visage of her burn began to disappear. The dull, beating pain was beginning to ebb.

After was felt like years of passing time, he pulled his hand away. Ellie was transfixed by her arm. The burning was gone, he skin glowed healthily. The pain was gone.

She could feel Eric rise to his feet. She look up at him and felt white hot fear rise to her throat. He seemed even taller than he had before. And his face, his neck, it was as blue as his hand had been.

His eyes were no longer the same hypnotizing green that she had come to crave. They were red, glowing and dark. Strange lines were etched into his face.

Ellie backed away, unsure and frightened. Loki followed her footsteps.

His open palm came to rest over her collarbone. He could feel her become still under his touch. His hand trailed upwards to her neck.

"Elizabeth." He called, voice thick.

Her eyes, free of pain, were now clouded in fear. Still, she reached up her own hand, wrapping it firmly around his wrist. Slowly, she pushed the sleeve of his jacket upwards.

"What are you?" she whispered.

For once, Loki was unprepared. For once, he wanted to speak honestly. He didn't want to lie.

"A monster."

...A bit of a cliffy I know...

Thank the song on my playlist shuffle. If you would like...read the scene with Loki's "heritage" reveal while listening to this instrumental tune:

The Blue Skinned Waltz by Rachel's

Do it! I dare you! For the full effect at least.

Well, twisty sadistic Loki is far from gone let me assure you. This chapter came from nowhere, I actually had other plans, but this scene popped into my head and I just couldn't possibly ignore it. So now I have to re-outline, do some serious plotting.

I hope you all enjoyed it! I would love your honest-to-goodness feedback. Please review.

Also, I guess it's about damn time I got a Beat reader. I just have no idea on how to go about finding one. If anyone could point me in the right direction I would be forever grateful!

Thank you all for reading!