Part 3: Just Change

"Am I old?" I asked Lor, as I peered at myself in the mirror. My hair seemed to be getting more green and less blonde. My face had slimmed down, my baby cheeks were gone, and when I looked ever so closely, I swore I could see crow's feet cropping up in the corners of my eyes.

"You're only twenty-one, you're not exactly pulling out the walker yet."

"I feel old," I sighed. "I feel as though I've lived a lifetime."

"In a way, you have. You've lived more in your twenty-one years than most people do in a hundred."

I walked over to his bed where he sat, watching me, taking me in. He sat on the very edge, his hands in his lap. His wide-eyed crystalline gaze absorbed the sight of me. I straddled him and sat in his lap. His hands took me by the waist. His thumbs caressed me gently. I nuzzled his neck as we pulled into an embrace. I nibbled his ear playfully; he shuddered in response. I pushed him forcefully on his back, and he smiled that perfect smile.

"Woman, you are trying to kill me," he said.

"When can we work out these frustrations?" I purred softly.

"I told you, when you have your divorce."

"But I've been waiting so long!" I whined. "You deny me over and over. I told you, I'll have it, soon. But you know Torn, he's so stubborn."

He took me by the shoulders and pulled me onto his chest. The warmth was comforting. I rested my slender fingers on his clavicle, stroking gently.

"You said so yourself, it will be soon," he whispered. "You've held out this long. You can wait just a little longer."

"I feel like I'm going to explode, sometimes. Sometimes I just lie awake at night, imagining it."

"Let me help your imagination a little, then," he whispered. He kissed my forehead softly, and then my chin; he moved down and kissed either side of my neck. Finally his lips came to rest on mine. I felt fingertips light stroking up my leg, and then moving up under the thin fabric of my pastel yellow dress. He found a spot on my thigh just below my buttock and squeezed. I gasped against his lips, and he parted the kiss to purr in my ear.

"Oh, my sweet Janovah..."

He pushed me onto my back and climbed on top of me. I wrapped my long legs around his waist and he smothered my mouth in a kiss once more. But suddenly, we heard footsteps rapping down the hallway. He lifted his head to look over at his shoulder, and then got up and scooped me into his arms. I giggled as he carried me over to his closet door. He opened the door and dumped me on the floor. I laughed as he began to shut the door.

"Quiet, missy," he whispered. He gave me a quick wink and a smile and shut the door. I heard the apartment door open, and muffled talking. After a few moments, the door shut and I heard his footsteps approach. He opened the door, and helped me to my feet.

"You're wanted in the infirmary," he said.

"What for? I asked.

"Dunno, but you better go on."

I leaned in and spoke in his ear. "Trying to kick me out before you give in to your passions?"

"Woman, you better get," he threatened.

I giggled as I started to walk away. He gave me a crisp smack on the ass and I squealed. He laughed at me, and I stumbled out of the room in a fit of laughter.

The walls of the hall entering into the infirmary were shorter compared to the rest of the palace; Everything was white, shiny, and clean. I could hear the sound of my bear feet padding down the hall along with the loud stamping of the guard following me. As I reached to foyer, Ret approached me, looking serious. He nodded at the guard, and the guard turned and walked away.

"Madam," he said. "I'm afraid I have some rather grave news."

"What is it?"

"Samos has taken ill," he said. "His source of power, the life seed, is withering."

I felt a pain grow in the pit of my stomach. "Why?"

"He is old," he said. "It's the natural course of life."

"May I see him?"

"Of course."

We walked across the foyer and through the double doors. We walked around the central station, which was buzzing with doctors and nurses. We went around a corner and down a long corridor, to a room on the end. We walked into a sitting room, with several couches and a table in the center. Kat and my mother were sitting on one, and across the room, I saw Torn holding Janosikah, now a year old. He looked up and saw me, panic spreading across his face. He set our son down and hurriedly got up to leave.

"Take him with you," I said.

He picked up Janosikah again in his arms. Janosikah was babbling and smiling, chewing on his tiny fingers. He walked out of the room without a word. I walked over to the couch where my mother and sister were sitting, and touched each of their hands. They both squeezed mine in response, but didn't look at me. I walked to the other side of the room, to the sliding glass door. There were curtains over the glass. I carefully slid the door open and stepped inside.

I shut the door behind me and looked at t he sight before me. Samos lay on a bed, next to a window. He looked ill; his color was lightened and more wrinkles dominated his face. I took a seat next to the bed.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Like an old man," he said.

"I saw Torn out there," I laughed. "He fears me. I can see it in his eyes."

"He should fear you. Everyone should fear you. You're the most powerful person in the world."

"And yet," I sighed. "I can't make him divorce me. I can't make him give up his title of King Consort or let me be free."

"I don't think he's doing it out of spite," Samos said. "If he wanted to spite you, he could tell everyone your darkest secrets. He could destroy you."

"If he destroyed me, he'd destroy our child. So I think spite is not out of the question."

"I worry for you. I see the affinity you have with the General. It perturbs me."

"There's nothing inappropriate going on. He wouldn't allow himself that unless Torn gave me the divorce."

"And that's what perturbs me. If he was simply enraptured, I wouldn't see why he would be so anxious to have you oust your husband."

"Are you suggesting that he's trying to marry me? Trying to claim the power that he thinks Torn has?"

"Even if he is estranged from you, Torn has considerable power. He has the power to make split-second decisions if you're unavailable to make them. If something happened to you, he would be the caretaker of the throne until your son could take his place."

"The divorce was my idea," I said. "Lor tried to talk me out of it."

"How hard did he try?"

I stood, silent, looking at him.

"Perhaps my suspicions are unwarranted," Samos said. "Perhaps all is well and he is just a man of strong convictions. But be hesitant to place your trust in the ones who offer you such service."'s

I nodded. I felt an ache in heart. Not because of the doubts that he expressed, but for his condition.

"They told me the life seed is withering," I said.

"It is. It withers, dies, and comes back. The cycle of life."

"But when it comes back, you'll be okay, right?"

"That's not how it works," he said. "When the life seed reaches the end of a cycle, it must be passed to a new sage, chosen by the old one, and then infused with power."

"So you're going to die?" I whispered.

"Everyone dies, my dear."

"But I need you," I said. "I couldn't have made it to the throne without you. And from what you and the other advisors have been saying, my place is not secure."

"No leader's place is ever secure," he said. "I have faith in you. Your city does, as well."

I got up and stepped back. I cleared my throat.

"As leader of Haven City, I'm granting you a retirement and I will gift you with your own personal estate in Haven Forest. Your living expenses will be covered from my personal exchequer."

"You don't have to do that," he grumbled. "Too much fuss."

"I owe you much more than that."

"Bah, you owe me nothing," he said. "It occurs to me that I may have acted like a jerk every now and again."

"You did it to protect me," I said.

"Not always," he confessed. "In the beginning, you must understand I had quite a resentment for your father. I placed all my hope and faith in him and I was so hopeful for his future with my daughter. But he deceived her, deceived everyone. He let the darkness consume him, and we had to take you to safety. A life as a young princess was much too dangerous. But when I saw you so many years later, you were so much like him, in appearance and personality. It drudged up the old feelings of hurt and disappointment."

"Why was I in danger?"

"Jak was unstable, becoming more and more violent," he said. "Keira didn't want to consign to his plan of making her give you to him and Ashlein. And Dash was so fiercely protective of you, she wouldn't leave your side. In the end, Jak hated her. Jak wanted to get rid of anything having to do with her."

"Why did he hate her? I thought they were soul mates or something."

"Dash saved his life. Having Daxter find his way into the prison was her doing. Dash gave crucial information to the Underground despite her scruples, and she did it for him. She wasn't a part of the Underground, she wanted to appeal to the Baron rather than overthrow him."

"Why?" I scoffed.

"She always said she was the only one who ever saw his humanity."

"I suppose I can't judge, I never met the man."

"Dash was caught giving information. She tried to flee and turned to Jak and the Underground for shelter, but was denied. They felt she was a liability because her so called 'sympathy for the devil'. When I was very young, as I have told you, I led the movement. And my biggest regret is turning her away, so she could disappear."

"But what happened? After the war, and after the first dark maker invasion?"

"Dash came back into the picture, and tried to rekindle her relationship with Jak. They did, for a while, but at the same time he was courting Keira and Ashlein."

"And he chose Ashlein."

"No, he didn't have a choice. Keira and Dash found out and walked. But Keira had an unexpected consequence."

"Me."

"Yes, she had become pregnant. And it hurt me so. She was in a terrible situation. I hurt for her so much. And I saw it happen to you."

"But then what happened? How did Kat come into the picture?"

"After leaving Haven City, Keira took you to Spargus. It was her original intention to raise you there. She became involved with the King of Spargus, Sig. They wanted to get married, but it was counter-productive to keeping you safe from Jak. There was only one option, and that was for them to distance themselves from the two of you."

"Kat and I," I said. "Keira told me that he was her father."

"The only way to keep you safe was to have you live among the orphans of Spargus."

"What happened to my father?"

"Jak was the creator of Haven City, he was Mar. He had to leave to fulfill his destiny. So a new government was put into place, a weak one, but it was enough to hold things together until you surfaced again. Until you stumbled into Dash, who took you to Haven City. She brought you to Torn because it was time."

"Why did Daxter stay with me?" I asked. "Wasn't he Jak's friend?"

"Yes, but Jak had to what he did alone. So he stayed with one part of Jak he could hold on to."

"It was Rin who told me that I was the Princess," I said. "Once you found me, why didn't you tell me all of this then?"

"You were so young, so fragile. We had to be sure you were strong enough. We brought you back to the world slowly. It would have been such a shock to the system to someone as young as you."

"I'm guessing what happened with Torn was not part of the plan."

"No. We wanted to kill him for getting so close. We tried to make him back off at all costs. He was much too old for you, and you needed to focus on winning the fight. When he did eventually walk away it was too late."

"So he broke up with me because you asked him to?"

"Yes, but then he told me what you had tried to do to yourself and then we couldn't allow you to be alone."

"I saw the way you beat him when I told you I was pregnant," I laughed.

"Damn that ignorant fool," Samos said. "I told him he could be a comfort to you, not get into your pants. He knew better. He knew better from the start. Getting so intimate with a young girl like that, makes me so angry!"

"Lor says he's a pompous jerk," I said. "And Dash once said that before he met me he didn't have an intimate bone in his body. He was always rough and tough and pushed people away. What changed?"

"Who knows?" he shrugged. "Maybe he just wanted something to change."

"Do you think people can change?"

"Nope."

I opened the door to Torn's chamber without knocking first; I hoped I wouldn't walk in on naked time or anything, but knocking seemed to apologetic. I saw him sitting on a chair, holding Janosikah in his arms. He looked up at me in surprise.

"I want you to take Janosikah with you," I said. "For a while. While Samos is ill. There's going to be a lot of sadness around here and I think even a child that young would pick up on it."

"O-okay," he stammered, confused. "You're making it really hard for me to avoid you like you asked me to when you come into my bedroom unannounced. You could have sent someone to tell me this."

"I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"Why won't you concede to the divorce?"

He sighed, and set Janosikah on the floor. Janosikah wobbled on his two legs over to another chair and plopped down beside it.

"I still have hope," he said. "I fucked up, I admit that. I was cold and unkind to you. But it's the way that I was before everything happened. But when I first met you, I felt there was no time to be cold. But then, when everything worked out..."

"Do you think you could change?"

He got up out of the seat and walked over to me. He tried to touch my face, but I backed away and shook my head.

"Janovah," he whispered. "I could change, and I would willingly change to have you back."

"People don't change," I muttered.

"Do you still have hope?" he asked.

"No."

"I don't believe you," he said. "If that were true, why are you here? Why are you standing in front of me, asking me this?"

"I don't know," I sighed.

"Do you love someone else?"

"I wasn't and am not having an affair," I said.

"But you love someone else," he said. "I can see it. But you should know this; no matter how hard you push me away, you still belong to me."

"You're lying to yourself if you believe that," I said. "By denying me my divorce, you're prolonging both your unhappiness and mine."

"Do you remember the first time we made love?"

"What?" I asked. "We can't discuss this in front of Janosikah."

"He's just barely about to turn one," he said. "He has no idea what we're talking about."

"Maybe I don't wanna talk about it."

"I was your first," he said. "And you were scared, but I held you the whole time. And you held on to me. And we made a beautiful child."

Memories were flashing through my head; skin. Teeth. Hair. Breath on my skin. I could feel goosebumps raising on my skin.

"And I stopped you from killing yourself. I showed you what I had to give you and you couldn't do that after what you saw."

"How is this relevant to anything?"

"I could give you that again," he said. He leaned forward and spoke into my ear. "I could give you that feeling every night."

I pushed him back. I could feel my face growing hot and flustered.

"I have to go," I said. "I have a dinner meeting."

I turned and ran out of the room.

As I walked down the hallway, Lor ran up to my side.

"Who were you talking to earlier?" he asked. "What's wrong? You look upset, and your face is red."

"That's just my baby daddy," I said.

"He came to see you?" he said. "Against your orders?"

"I went to talk to him," I said. We turned a corner and entered my bedroom.

"Why?"

"I wanted to ask him why he wouldn't give me a divorce."

"What did he say?"

"He said he still has hope. He says he could change."

"People can't change."

"Yeah, that's what Samos said."

I sat down on the end of my bed and sighed. He sat next to me, stroking my hair softly.

"Samos fears that you're using me," I said. "He said that he's afraid that you want to take Torn's place as King Consort."

"Janovah, I would never do that," he said. "You know I love you."

"He thinks the fact that you won't sleep with me is suspicious," I said. "He thinks if you were really enraptured, you wouldn't deny me."

"I won't sleep with you because I don't want to destroy your marriage," he said. "You have to be the one to end it."

"It's already over," I said. "It was over when I sent him away from the palace. He might be married to me legally but that shouldn't matter to you. I don't want him anymore. I want you."

"But if we had children," he whispered. "People would assume they were his children. And if I said anything otherwise their chances of the throne would be hurt."

"A divorce is not out of the question in the future," I said. "But right now..."

"I can't, Janovah, I've told you so many times, I must stick to my convictions."

"Please," I whispered. "Just show me what it is you have to give to me."

He looked me in the eyes, pondering. I could see the gears turning in his head.

"Okay," he whispered.

He captured my lips in a kiss, pushing me on to my back. His hands glided up my legs, resting on my waist. I slid my hands under his shirt and up his stomach to his chest, taking in the warmth. I clutched the fabric and pulled it over his head, exposing his muscular, creamy chest. He took the bottom of my dress and slid it off my body. He looked at me, taking in the sight. He touched a scar on my stomach, and leaned down and brushed it lightly with is lips. I gasped a little.

"So many," he whispered.

He kissed each scar tenderly, and brushed his lips on my neck. I ran my hands through his hair, breathing in his ear. He leaned up again to take his belt off. He cast it off to the side and started to take off his pants. When he finished, he leaned back down onto me. I wrapped my legs around his naked hips, and slid my fingers back into his hair. He pushed me down into a smoldering kiss as we became entangled in our intimacy.

My stomach twisted in a knot as I vomited into the toilet once more. I sat on my hands and knees, shaking in the bathroom.

"Damn, Janovah," I heard Kat say behind me. "Don't you know what the hell birth control is?"

"I've been using it!" I protested. "I've been taking the pill!"

"Congrats, fertile myrtle."

"Shut up."

"What are you gonna do?" Kat asked. "What if Torn finds out?"

"Like I give a crap what he thinks. It's not him I'm worried about."

"I would think your sexy lovestruck general would bursting with joy."

"He was adamant that he wanted to wait to have children. A long time. Because with my legal marital status, it won't be recognized as his."

"When did you start taking the pill?"

"A few days before the first time."

"How many times have you done it?"

"Too many to count. Seriously, almost every night."

"Nice."

"I know. When Torn and I first got married we did it maybe every other week before he started being an ass."

"I'll tell you what, you tell Lor and I'll tell grandfather."

"Tell him what?"

"About Tara and I. It's about time."

"I've been working on a new act, I think you'll like it."

I got up and wiped my mouth and smiled at her.

"I'm going to pass an act that legalizes marriage between two consenting adults, regardless of gender."

She threw her arms around me and squeezed.

"Not so hard," I said. "I'm queasy."

She let go. "Sorry," she laughed. "I'm so happy! Thank you, thank you thank you!"

"You should tell her," I said. "And go pick out a dress."

"But mom..." she muttered.

"I'll deal with it."

She was bouncing with joy, unutterably happy. It was the first time I'd seen her truly happy in a very long time.

I sat at the breakfast table, laughing amongst the distinguished guests who often joined me for meals. There was a new one with us, the winner of the racing championships. His name was Wes; he was somewhat short with braided brown hair and a large nose. He sat to the right of me, and Lor sat to the left.

"Majesty," Wes said. "With your permission, I'd like to announce something."

"Of course," I smiled.

"My lords and ladies, I found out this morning that my wife is expecting."

There were mutterings of congratulations and some quiet applause. Wes took his seat again.

"I do congratulate you, Wes," I began. I swallowed hard. "Not to overshadow this joyous news, but I also discovered this morning, that I too am pregnant."

There were outcries of joy. Wes took my hand and kissed it.

"Oh, congratulations your majesty!" he said. "I am so happy for you and the King Consort. Another little prince or princess milling around this glorious home of yours."

I smiled, but when I turned to look at Lor, he was staring at me with his eyes wide in shock.

"But Majesty, I was to understand that you and the King Consort were currently estranged," came a voice. I looked over at who said that. I recognized the woman to be Dia, the noble woman who poked and prodded me at the dinner party several years ago. She had a pension for asking overly personal questions.

"They are," Lor choked out. I looked at him seriously.

"Well I'm sure there's no doubt on the paternity," she said. She was eyeballing me and then glanced at Lor. "Perhaps this happy event will..." she sighed with a sly smile. "Bring you and the King Consort back to how things were. I do remember how young and merry you two were."

"Unlikely," Lor mumbled quietly.

"How long has it been since you two have spoken? I'm sure you speak often considering you have a child together."

"Mistress Dia, you are too bold," I said. The whole table went silent.

"Forgive me, Majesty. It was not my place." I could tell she was not sincere.

Lor opened and shut the door quickly but quietly. I sat on my bed, watching him pace about the room nervously.

"I have no words," he said. "I can't even begin...I just...I can't believe this."

"Aren't you happy?" I asked.

"Of course I am, I'm overjoyed," he said. "But you see they're already starting to talk."

"Dia was the Baron's neice, she's bitter. She likes to put her nose in everything."

"Janovah, everyone knows that you and Torn don't speak. You think they don't see how much time we spend together? What if somebody were to see me leaving your room at night, or walking out of it with you in the morning?"

"Let them talk," I said. "It makes no difference. I am the Queen. I am my father's daughter and there is no doubt about my place here anymore."

"I shouldn't have..." he mumbled. "I shouldn't have given in...I should have known this would happen..."

"Don't you dare walk out on me," I said.

"I wouldn't," he sighed. "Not now, I wouldn't dream of it."

"Come here," I said. He walked over and I took his hand.

"Everything will be alright," I said. "In all matter of things. I promise you, my love."

"Okay," he sighed. "I trust you."

"Now come with me."

I got up and took his hand. We exited the room. And we walked down the hall, hand-in-hand. As we passed people, there was whispering, and uncomfortable stares. We walked across the palace in this fashion, not looking at anyone. I reached the entrance of the infirmary, and then I kissed him. He was stiff and fearful, but didn't resist. The whispers intensified.

"I'm going to see Samos now," I said. "I will see you later at the luncheon, General."

"Of course, Madam," he said.

I turned my back on the gossiping masses and walked through the door.

I entered Samos' room. He was still bed-ridden, looking even more ill than before. He saw me enter and scowled.

"Girl," he threatened. "If I had my cane I'd be beating you senseless right now."

"So I suppose you heard the good news?"

"Among other things, such as how you strutted down here with your man-mistress."

"I like to call him my 'manstress'."

"You think this is funny?"

"A little," I confessed. "As much as I've been through, I'm not sure if I can take anyone's shock and outrage over my love life that seriously."

"This child's legitimacy is in question, you do realize this, right?"

"I'll handle it," I said. "But I have something I need to ask you."

"What is it?"

"It occurs to me that I was told that Ashlein died in childbirth with me. Seeing as Ashlein was not my mother, and from what my sources tell me, unable to even have children, how did she die?"

"She was murdered," he said. He looked very uncomfortable.

"By whom?"

"I don't know, nobody does."

"I don't believe you," I said. "If you really didn't know, you would have told me in our first conversation about my history."

"This is not going to be easy for you to hear," he said. "But there has been allegations, brought against Dash. It's suspected that she murdered Ashlein, in an elevator. She was indicted, investigated. But she disappeared before the investigations were finished. And there really was not a lot of evidence aside from motive."

"What sort of motive?"

"They hated each other," he said. "Absolutely loathed each other. Ashlein sought to get rid of her long before Jak came into the picture."

"And why is that?" I asked. "What reason did they have for such hatred before there was even a man to fight over?"

"There's rumors that Dash was the Baron's mistress. Torn said that she told him so, and raised quite a stink about it. I'm rather doubtful on all this, although it could explain how they grew such a close personal relationship."

"I'm sure he's mistaken," I mumbled. "Did Kat come and talk to you?"

"She did," he said. "I'm not sure I quite understand it, but I'm old fashioned I suppose. These days I'd be okay with her joining a nudist colony if it made her happy."

"She is happy," I said.

"Then I suppose that's all that matters."

I walked out of the conference room, hand on my growing stomach. The familiar feeling of pregnancy was taking over. The symptoms were much worse the first time, intense sickness and heartburn racked my body daily. As I was walking, I saw Tara striding up to me.

"You ruined everything," she hissed.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Kat told her mother, she flipped."

"She'll come around," I insisted. "I'll talk to her."

"I know this was your idea," she growled. "We were happy and you had to take that away. And why? Because your marriage sucks? Because you can't stay faithful to anyone? Because you're so unhappy all the time?"

"You're out of line!" I said. "Kat wanted to tell, and I supported her."

"This is your fault," she said.

"What is wrong with you?" I said.

"I should kick your ass, right here and now!"

"You had best keep in mind that even though I'm four months pregnant, I could whoop your little ass up and down. I have powers that you can't even imagine, little girl. And when I'm done, you can rot in jail for treason. Is that what you want?"

She scoffed and stamped off in a rage. I walked to Kat's room and knocked. When she opened the door, I saw a fresh bruise on her face. Rage started to build in me. She let me in and closed the door.

"I was going to tell you that I had talked to Tara," I said. "But I see now that instead of a talk, she needs a whooping. A whooping with a belt."

"She has completely lost her mind!" she laughed nervously. "I mean, she is coo-coo bananas! When I told mom and mom got super mad, Tara started screaming all these freaky accusations about how you're trying to get rid of me and stuff. When I told her off she fucking punched me!"

"Why didn't you kick her ass?" I asked. "Girl, you could have done some damage. I know how you can fight."

"I couldn't," she sighed. "Even though it's over and she's a crazy bitch, I still love her. I can't hurt her."

"I'm going to have her arrested," I said. "Assaulting a princess is about twelve kinds of illegal."

"Princess?" she laughed. "Like I could ever be Queen. I'm not Jak's child. No one would raise a bastard queen to the throne."

"Just pray really hard that Torn, Janosikah and I die suddenly. But please make it a quick, painless death, I'd hate for it hurt too much."

She laughed. "You know, it's so hard not to be jealous of you. I've been jealous since I was born. You were always the better fighter, the chosen one, the crown princess and now the Queen. You've always been the beacon of hope."

"It's a huge burden," I said. "It's not the paradise you think it is. You have to please everyone all at once. True friends are few and far between."

"So I guess the grass is dead and full of crocadog shit on both sides, then."

I walked into my room after a long day of meetings and schmoozing. I walked over to my bed, and kicked off my shoes. I sat down on my bed, and when I looked up, I saw Torn standing there, arms crossed, glaring.

"So it's true," he said, looking at me. "You lied to me."

"What the hell are you doing?" I said. "I told you not to come around me."

"And yet you can burst into where I am whenever you please?"

"Get out," I ordered.

"You said you weren't having an affair. You said there was nothing going on!"

"There wasn't until after we talked."

Just then, Lor entered the room. As he shut the door, he saw Torn standing there, and looked at me, confused.

"Janovah, what's going on?" he asked.

Torn lept over to him and punched him square in the jaw. Lor rubbed his face as Torn turned around, shaking his injured fist. But Lor jumped on him while his back was turned, knocking him to the ground. He put his knee on Torn's chest and started wailing on his face, bloodying his nose.

"Stop it!" I screamed.

He didn't listen, and kept hitting Torn. Torn reached up and grabbed Lor by the throat. Lor was gasping for breath but continued to beat him.

"I said stop it!" I screamed again, louder. "I am your Queen and you obey me! Stop fighting right now or I will have you both arrested!"

Lor stopped and got up, cradling his hand. Torn lay on the ground, bleeding from his nose and mouth. He tried fruitlessly to wipe away the blood.

"You bastard," he gasped. "You slept with my wife."

"She's not your wife anymore," Lor said.

"You're hurt," I said to Torn. I grabbed a tissue from my night stand, walked over and knelt down beside him, and tried to wipe the blood from his bruised face.

"I don't need your pity," he hissed, smacking away my hand.

"You're bleeding everywhere," I said. "Just let me help you. Let me take you down to the infirmary."

"Get away from me, you heartless bitch," he hissed again. He pulled himself off the ground, stumbling out of the door, leaving a trail of blood drops behind him. Lor came up beside me, and bent down to touch my shoulder, but I pulled away.

"Janovah," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. Please. I should have been the better man. Please forgive me."

"I need to go after him," I said. "He's hurt, and I need to make sure that he's okay."

"Do what you need to do," he sighed.

I ran out of the door, and found Torn bleeding on the floor of the hall way. I walked over to him and knelt beside him again. This time, he didn't try to push me away.

"You're not heartless," he gasped. "If that were true, I suppose you wouldn't be here trying to help me."

"Come on," I whispered, pulling him to his feet. I cradled his head on my shoulder and carefully walked him down the hallway to the infirmary. I found him a room and set him down on the bed. I got a washcloth, dampened it, and proceeded to clean his face. He caught me by wrist, gently, and looked at me.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked. "I'm sure a doctor or a nurse could handle this."

"You would do the same for me," I said.

"I have," he said. "I remember, after your fight with Rin that one night, I stitched you up and took care of you."

"That you did," I said quietly.

"Go," he said. "You're so tired. I'll be fine."

"Okay," I whispered. He let go of my wrist. As our hands parted, our fingers grazed...and I almost swore I could feel a touch of warmth.

I walked back into my room, and shut the door quietly behind me. Lor was still there. I could see he had cleaned the blood from the floor. He walked over to me and embraced me, stroking my back.

"How is he?" he said.

"He's fine," I said against his shoulder.

"Please tell me I have your forgiveness," he whispered

"Yes," I said. "Always."

We climbed into my bed together, and he wrapped his arm around my waist, and kissed my hair lightly.

"Do you believe people can change?" I muttered into the darkness.

"Yes," he whispered. "Everybody can change if they need to."

I closed my eyes, and I felt hot tears boil over my cheeks. I opened my eyes again, and saw glowing, blue streaks on my wrist.