AN: OK everyone, so this chapter isn't super long, because I have big plans for the next couple of chapters, but I needed to tie up some loose ends first. You'll see what I mean. Also, Castle is in this chapter, but he doesn't get a lot to say (neither does Kate). I needed to clear Kate's mind a little because there is going to be a whole lot of dialogue and banter in the coming chapters. Thanks to everyone that's reading this story! I hope you stick with it until next chapter – it's gonna be good! I will probably change the rating next chapter or possibly the one after that. Keep reviewing, because I honestly love getting truthful opinions. If anyone's unhappy with where this story is going (I can't see why; it's pretty fluffy and will stay that way) I'd love to hear why. Otherwise, I also love happy reviewers!
Kate was sitting at her desk in the precinct, still wearing her jacket and staring at a blank computer screen when she realized that she didn't remember walking back to work. In fact, she didn't remember the elevator ride up to Homicide or the stop at the security desk either. All she remembered was a string of words being beaten into her skull by the rhythm of her heartbeat. Evidence. Physical. Emotional. Caring. Touch. Revolve. Rick. Love. She chanted the eight words over and over again all the way back to the precinct. Her body was subconsciously trying to keep up with her thoughts; for every heartbeat and every word, she took a step forward. It was difficult to keep time though, because the last two words always made her heart stutter and then abruptly speed up. Even now, sitting in her chair, the words Rick and Love made her heart beat so hard that she felt the reverberation of it all over her body; from the pads of each finger and the blood in her ears, through the pit of her stomach and down to her feet.
After Meghan had gotten up from the table, she'd patted Kate on the shoulder and told her that breakfast was on the house. Somewhere in there had been an apology for butting into her life and for the misunderstanding, which had lead to their conversation in the first place, but Kate barely remembered that either. She was too busy gasping in air while trying to keep her façade of serenity. She knew that she had not been very successful when an older gentleman stopped her as she was leaving the diner and asked if she was in need of medical attention.
Now, after finally becoming aware of her surroundings, Kate closed her eyes in order to dredge up the strength to switch to Detective Beckett after her emotional rollercoaster of a morning. I have to forget about this, Kate thought, just until tonight. Tonight I can process and reprocess until I am processed out. But right now, I have to be Detective Beckett for a few hours. After the promise she'd made to herself Kate found it easy to open her eyes. After all, she was the master of compartmentalization. And personal issues, no matter how pressing, did not belong in the work place. Unfortunately for Kate, Richard Castle did belong in her work place. And until the moment she opened her eyes and found a pair of light blue ones staring back, she had no idea just how much her emotions had shifted in the past two hours.
He was close to her. Too close. Somewhere in the back of her mind Kate realized that Rick had always had a habit of invading her personal space. It had never bothered her much (except at the very beginning of their partnership) because she felt comfortable with him. But now, the nearness of him was overpowering her senses. She felt swamped and all of a sudden she was focusing on the flecks of silver and periwinkle in his blue eyes in order to stamp down the flush that was beginning to creep up her neck. It wasn't until he waved a hand in front of her face that she realized he'd been speaking.
"Earth to Beckett!" Castle trumpeted out, catching the attention of several detectives at their workstations. " I said, are you OK? You looked really hot, and I….oh no, no, no" Castle said, smiling and backtracking when he noticed Kate's widened eyes, "that's not what I meant. Hot as in warm, I mean. Like, fever warm. Your face is flushed."
Kate sighed. Her tendency to blush was going to be the death of her today. "NO Ri…Castle, I'm fine, I just need to take my jacket off." Kate blundered as she struggled to free her arms. Unfortunately, she was so rattled that she was having trouble performing the simplest of tasks, including removing her coat.
Castle frowned at her in concern. Kate was definitely weird today. He wondered for a moment if something had happened between her and Josh, but he squelched the notion as soon as the thought was fully formed. He had learned long ago that it was much better for his health not to imagine what went on between his detective and her boyfriend in their private lives. "Here, let me" he said after watching her struggle for a moment. He walked behind her and slid the jacket easily down her shoulders, freeing her arms. He couldn't resist readjusting her tousled hair as he retuned to his own seat.
Kate tensed her body quickly as she felt Rick smooth her hair back into place, and just managed to suppress the violent shiver that coursed down her spine. What's wrong with me? she thought, leaning back in her chair and avoiding Rick's eyes. Rick has been making those types of little gestures for ages. It's never affected me like this before. Kate had been questioning herself all morning with confusing results, but this time, the answer came swiftly: That rush of emotion that just coursed through your veins? It's not new. Those feelings have been there all along, building and building, but lying dormant. The damn was bound to burst eventually. Kate leaned her head back and pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen right now. Tonight, I was supposed to process tonight. Somehow, the fact that Rick had managed to make her break her promise to herself so quickly and easily (and without effort) was not really surprising. OK, Kate thought, if I can't process later, I can at least try to keep from getting overwhelmed. The answer to Kate's problems was unexpectedly simple. Today, and today only, she would let herself experience what her body and mind yearned to experience. She would not try to slam the steel doors on her emotions. She would not keep a tight rein on her body's reactions. She would not initiate either, but she would have to let nature run its course if she wanted to avoid a mental meltdown. Of course, she thought, I have to draw the line somewhere. There is still Josh. But the voice in her head that mentioned Josh was tiny, and sounded like someone was whispering from very far away.