Chapter 16 – Where I Stood

"I don't know what I've done, or if I like what I've begun

But something told me to run, and honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head, little voices whispering

That I should go and this should end, oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you, all I know is that I should

And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you, all I know is that I should

'Cos she will love you more than I could, she who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white, that it was wrong or it was right

But you ain't leaving without a fight, and I think I am just as torn inside"

Where I Stood by Mary Higgins

Anders solemnly watched the travel party leave through the gate. He continued to watch until they had completely disappeared over the horizon. He was sad to see her go and it felt like he had just said good-bye to a part of himself. He grabbed Rylee's journal, sat on his bed and began to read.

Anders discovered that she had started the journal shortly after her father's death to help herself work through the grief. Reading her intimate thoughts felt like an invasion of privacy, but the more he read the more he understood the events in her life that shaped her into the woman he met in Kirkwall. He respected her tenacity and strength and admired her ability to see the humor in all things and at the gravest of times.

I remember you taking us to the swimming hole to cool off on hot summer days and using magic to make the water refreshingly chilly, I can clearly recall your hands on my hips as you stood behind me and corrected my fighting stance, with vivid clarity I can picture you making mine and Bethany's dolls dance while you told us bedtime stories, but I can't recall the sound of your voice, nor the warmth of your embrace, even the feeling I once had of always being safe is gone. I just want to feel secure once again in your loving embrace and have you reassure me it's going to be alright. That you are going to make it all right.

I'm so scared Daddy. They are all looking to me to make the decisions, to keep them safe, to keep us one step ahead of the templars, but what if I fail them as I failed you. I am so afraid of making the wrong choice because that's all it will take…just one bad decision and it will cost them their lives. You always told me to let my heart guide me. I'm really trying to, but damn if it isn't whispering in a really low voice and I can't make out what its saying.

Anders sat the journal on the bed. He got up, grabbed the tray of food and wine that a servant had brought in at some point. He looked out the window. The sun was high in the sky; he must have been reading for hours.

Maker's breathe, how could she blame herself for her father's death at the hands of a templar?

Rylee has always blamed herself for failing her family even though those beliefs are furthest from the truth.

How old was she when she took on the weight of protecting her family?

I believe she was fourteen when her father died.

That's so young to shoulder such a responsibility.

Yes, it is, but Rylee has always stepped up when duty called her.

Anders settled back on the bed with his sandwich and wine and picked up the journal again. It was like reading an addictive book. Anders read about the years after her father's death and how she willingly accepted the responsibility for her family's care and safety, but as he read her words, he realized that to her, family was everything…it was the only thing that mattered and she willingly sacrificed her own happiness for them. He was in awe and envious of her family, to be loved like that must be a wonderful thing.

It is…That is how she loved you.

You felt her love for me?

Yes, on many occasions. You admire the way she loved her family, but she loved you most of all.

I wish I could remember. I want to remember.

Keep reading. Hopefully the memories will come back to you.

Rylee had moved them around numerous times to keep the templars at bay and she had finally settled just outside Lothering about a year before the Blight. Lothering was a good location actually. He had hidden there numerous times. It was far from the Circle, the Chantry was small and the templars that were there were more concerned with feeding the Bann's neglected people than hunting apostates. She had chosen wisely.

At this point she had to have been close to seventeen…well into adolescence, but there had only been a few entries regarding her interest in boys. She had moved around a lot and didn't stay in one place long enough to make any long lasting friendships. She had managed however, to pass a few rites of passage. She had wrote about her first kiss and a few minor over the clothes make out session, but nothing that Anders considered all that serious until she had moved to Lothering. There a boy by the name Aaron started to make regular appearances in her writings. His father was a land owner and a minor lord that worked for the Bann. Aaron was twenty…much too old for her in Anders' opinion.

Do I need to remind you that you are six years older than her?

That's different.

Really? How is that different?

According to you I met Rylee when she was twenty-one. There is a big difference from being a naïve seventeen year old and being a worldly twenty-one year old.

Rylee hasn't been naïve since she watched a templar murdered her father.

What? She didn't mention that witnessed her father's death.

She didn't mention it in the journal, but she did tell you about it. It was a very traumatic event in her life. My point is, she is not naïve and you may not have figured this out about her yet, but she is very calculating and does nothing by chance.

Anders resumed reading.

I think I am finally ready; for years now I have been secretly been learning about sex through my mother's trashy romance novels and my father's anatomy of magic books. I am well acquainted with the clitoris, the vagina, the anus, the penis and the scrotum. Now it's time to put that knowledge into practice.

Anders literally spit the wine he had just sipped all over himself. He quickly cleaned himself up and continued reading.

Through all my research, I've amassed a lot of sexual knowledge without any real experience. I have become known as the tough rogue with the sweet face and dirty sense of humor. With five kisses from three different guys, but only three with any tongue, two boob touches, and half a blowjob, I am basically all talk, no walk...or spread as in this case.

Blow job! How the hell had he missed that? He went back and quickly scanned the pages. There was nothing, it must not have made that much of an impression on her. He really hoped that changed.

Oh it does!

Really? And how would you know?

I was there, dumbass. Remember?

Hey, are Spirits really supposed to say dumbass?

I'm making an exception for you. You're starting to wear on me.

Anders turned his attention back to the diary.

Enter Aaron…Aaron is…awesome. He is a fantastic rogue, so incredibly handsome with his long, blond hair and deep green eyes…And his body…fuck me, did I mention his rock hard abs and chiseled chest…

Anders looked down at his stomach…okay not as toned as it once was but by no means was he a fatso…nothing a few sit ups couldn't take care of.

Might want to lay off the chocolate pudding too.

Have I told you what how annoying your comments are?

Anders drew a deep breath and continued.

And he is experienced. A lot more experienced than I am, but I'm not worried. I have my wealth of knowledge to pull from. It should all be good, right?

So thanks to our almost instantaneous emotional connection and this crazy chemistry we share, our sexual relationship has progressed quickly from making out, to feeling me up under my clothes, to hand jobs, to blowjobs…which by the way Aaron says I am fucking amazing at, and then finally, thank the Maker, on to manual and oral stimulation of my nether-regions…

Anders fell off the edge of the bed. That was the last thing Anders expected her to say as he pulled himself back up on top of the bed, but the idea that she gave amazing blow jobs was a very intriguing thought.

We needed to be careful so as not to get caught, so a lot of our sparring ring time, horseback training or talking outside in the dark was actually us sneaking off to work on our sexual conquest checklist. After months of dating and exploring each other in every way possible with the exception of penetration, I was completely ready to relinquish my virginity. So the other night we started off in the barn loft with 'Hi, I'm Sir Penis please meet Lady Vagina' meetings.

Anders burst out laughing. Maker this was the funniest first time account he had ever heard or read.

So how these 'get to know you' meetings worked was that he would go in about an inch, we would wait, see how that felt and then go in another inch, pause and wait. This would continue until I would cry out in pain, hit him and told him to get the hell out of me. Aaron is a big boy about eight inches so we would make it halfway in before the pain would become too much. These meet and greets went on for several nights progressing a little each night till tonight when the deed was finally done.

It was on a hammock in a grove of trees behind his house. Before settling into the hammock we had quickly undressed each other. I laid back on the hammock as Aaron carefully climbed on top of me, with my hand guiding him in, we finally had sexual intercourse. As he began to move within me, from over his shoulder, the moonlight illuminated his silhouette as the scent of jasmine filled my scenes. The hammock swayed with his thrusts and as the pain eased I actually started to enjoy it. As it turned out, Aaron was a generous lover and when he realized the pain had subsided he reached down to stimulate me so that I could come with him.

I don't think I will ever be able to walk past a hammock in the moonlight and not picture Aaron as he gracefully and tenderly took my virginity from me.

Anders closed the journal. He was glad that her first experience had been a good one and that she had been with a generous and gentle lover. He had taken numerous girls virginities and he had always tried to be tender with them, but for some strange reason he wished it had been him that had taken hers.

You wouldn't have been nearly as attracted to her if she had been a virgin.

Why would say that?

Because Anders, Rylee is your equal in every way, including in the bedroom. It was her sexual prowess that attracted you to her in the first place and the fact that you had to work to keep up with her is what kept you coming back for more.

That revelation blew Anders away. He had never met a woman that he had to work to keep up with. It was always the other way around. However, it would have still been nice to be Rylee's first, to teach her how to please him as he taught her all the ways he could please her.

You took Lillah's virginity and that never stopped you from having a roaming eye.

What? I never cheated on Lillah.

No you didn't, but from what I was able to piece together from your memories, that didn't stop you from looking.

So you're saying that in the six years I was with Rylee I never looked at another woman, I never fantasized about another woman. That's bullshit!

Rylee completely satisfied you – emotionally, physically and spiritually. You had no desire or need to look any further.

Are you saying she is the perfect woman? 'Cause there is no such thing.

No, she isn't perfect. For any other man she may be far from perfect, but she is perfect for you.

Throughout the rest of the day, Anders continued to read her journal; completely engrossed in her story. She wrote about her and Carver at Ostagar, meeting Alistair and Lillah there. Her perspective was spot on.

Lillah, although kind, sweet and at times very naive, has always been one of those girls that knew that she was beautiful and used it to her advantage. I had watched Lil use her innocence for her benefit numerous times growing up. I'm sure it saved her ass from beginning captured by the templars numerous times. At least until her luck ran out when that old senile templar finally caught up with her. Her womanly charms didn't work on him too well, but that's probably because the old geezer hadn't had an erection since the last Blight.

Anyways, I digress, Lillah hasn't even known the handsome ex-templar for more than forty-eight hours and she already has him following her around like a lost puppy dog. It's rather disgusting actually. If I ever fall in love I want my man to act like a man. I want him to love me, respect me, fuck the hell out of me, but still have his balls intact.

Anders chucked as he glanced down at his groin as his hand firmly gripped himself, "Thank the Maker everything is still securely in place." Rylee definitely understood her cousin very well.

Alistair seems like a very nice guy and not that Lil isn't a nice girl, she is, but Maker she lived in the Circle for years. I heard the Feleden Circle was one big orgy. If half of what I've heard is true, she is going to chew him up, spit him out and have him begging for more. Poor sap, but I'm sure he'll enjoy the ride… literally and figuratively.

Anders couldn't help but grin. As bad as the Circle was, they had definitely found ways to entertain themselves. Thursday night strip diamondback was always his favorite. It would also seem that Lil had her own real life version of the 'Bad Mage and Naughty Templar'. He wondered if they actually had costumes.

Anders, get your mind out of the gutter!

What's wrong with the gutter? I feel quite at home there.

Darktown…thanks for reminding me.

We lived in Darktown? I heard that place is a cesspool.

For a few years, yes, until we moved in with Rylee then only your clinic remained in Darktown.

Wait? I had a clinic…to heal people?

Yes.

A huge grin spread across his face. I always wanted to run a healing clinic. I'm glad I fulfilled that dream even if I can't remember it.

When you weren't with Rylee, you were the happiest when you were healing people.

If I can ever pull us out of the hell hole we are now in, I want to have a clinic again.

I think that's a great idea.

So where did Rylee live?

Hightown.

Anders gave out a low whistle. What did she do to move there?

Keep reading Anders. I'm sure she will talk about it.

Anders read about the nightmare of Loghain's betrayal, the Hawke family as they escaped Lothering and the death of Carver; a death that Rylee once again blamed herself for; even though there was nothing she could have done to save him. Her own mother belittled and blamed her for the death of her son, and Rylee just accepted her judgment, refusing to defend herself. The death of her brother only added to the burden she felt to protect her mother and sister. To provide a better life for them, so it made complete sense when she agreed to go into servitude to the smuggler in order to buy their way into the city. Anders himself had sold his healing service to that bitch, Athenril, in order to get into the city, but the thought of Rylee working for that criminal, made his blood boil. From everything that he had read about her, Rylee was noble, honorable, duty bound, she shouldn't have to resort to being a criminal in order to survive. The whole idea completely infuriated him.

Anders, this is the rage and anger that I am talking about. This is what will cause Vengeance to come out if you don't learn to control it.

How? How do I control my anger over the injustices that are inflicted on people?

Somehow you need to become sympathetic to their side and have empathy for them.

What? That is crazy!

No, it's not. Just because you can sympathize with someone doesn't mean that you agree with them. It means you can understand their point of view. Rylee was a master at this. If you knew that Athenril had two children at home that she was trying to feed and protect, that her husband was killed in the Blight, fighting as part of the Dalish army, would you have more sympathy for her?

Yes, is what you said about her true?

I have no idea, but the point is, it could be. Rylee viewed everyone through her own eyes…people struggling to make ends meet, trying to feed their families and keep them safe. That is why she was able to show compassion and mercy and give them the benefit of the doubt.

That is very wise.

She is very wise for being a human.

Anders closed the journal and rubbed his eyes. The moon was high in the sky; he had spent the entire day and from the looks of it a good part of the night reading. He stomach growled informing him of the neglect. As he made his way to the kitchen he thought the beautiful rogue that he had no memory of, but whose story had completely captivated him. He wished she was here, he would love to talk with her and watch her face light up and her eyes sparkle as she retold a story. There was an ache in his heart from an unexplained, unexpected emptiness. He realized he missed her. Her absence had left a void in his life.

Over the next week, when he wasn't helping Lillah with Grey Warden issues, sparring or mixing potions, he was reading Rylee's journal. She wrote extensively about that year of servitude, working for Athenril, her growing reputation in the underworld and Varric approaching her about being his partner on their Deep Road expedition. The more he read about her and her life the more respected her, but something else was growing deep inside him. He wanted her, he hungered for her and yearned just to be near her again. How was that possible?

Your soul recognizes her as you read about her life in her own words.

Anders didn't reply as the next journal entry leapt off the page and now had his full attention, his heart racing in his chest as he read.

I think today I met the man of my dreams. He was tall with sandy blond hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. That hair…damn it looked so soft, so touchable. Maker, it took all of my self control to not pull his hair loose and run my fingers through it. He had the warmest, kindest honey brown eyes I have ever seen. I think I could have lost myself in them forever.

Jealousy coursed through his body. Who the hell was this? He had been able to keep his emotions check with Aaron, the Bann's son and the assassin at Ostagar, but now that she was in Kirkwall he didn't like the idea of her being attracted to anyone there.

She is talking about you…dumbass.

Really?

Yes.

I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me that.

I would appreciate if you were more observant. You used to be, I never had to call you names before.

Were you ever a nice Spirit? I'm just curious

Anders continued reading.

He has the kindest smile and what looks like the sweetest lips. I wanted to kiss those lips so desperately, just to see if they are as soft as they appear to be and if he tasted as good as he looked. He has the most amazing hands…he has healer's hands…like my father. Gentle, kind and I can only imagine how loving those hands would be. I would love to feel them on my skin, touching me, caressing me…doing other delicious things to my body. Oh, Anders, damn I want you, like I have never wanted anyone else in my life before. I can't explain it…I've just met you and I'm drawn to you. You asked for my help, I asked you to give me the details of the favor, but I wasn't actually listening. You could have asked me to walk into the Dark City naked, and I would have done it of you.

Anders sat the journal down and sipped his wine. Damn, she had it bad. Thank the Maker I am a handsome man.

And don't forget humble.

Oh right…that too.

Trust me Anders, you were much worse.

Impossible!

A scene flashed before his eyes.

The candle on Rylee's side silhouetted her figure against the thin material of the dividing screen, he watched mesmerized as she slowly began to remove her chest piece and then slid her trousers off. She pulled her hair out of the ponytail and he watched it fall down around her back. Maker, the candle outlined her exquisite curves perfectly and Anders' breath hitched in his throat. She lifted her leg, rested it on the side of the cot, her silhouette bent over, her breast nuzzling against her leg. Anders pictured his head buried between those two perfect swells. She ran her hands down her leg as if she was inspecting a previous injury. He longed to run his hand up her leg as his lips kissed his way up the inside of her thigh to the sweet spot between her legs so that he could taste the glistening honey that was there just waiting for him devour. He could almost smell her sweet musky aroma and his mouth watered at the thought of tasting her.

And I had to deal with thoughts like at least twenty times a day.

Holy shit, did you see her incredible body…you say only twenty times a day, I'm surprised the number isn't double that. Show me more.

NO!

Come on Justice, they are my memories…please!

If you relax and try to rest your mind a little, they might all come back to you. Then there'd be no need for me to replay them every five minutes.

There was a knock at the door, Anders yelled for them to come in. Lillah stuck her head through the crack in the door. "You have buried yourself in here all day. Why don't you join me in my study for dinner?"

"I'm not really hunger, Lil."

"Well, join me anyways. You can drink brandy and watch me eat."

"Fine, when do you want me there?"

"Be there in an hour," she paused and looked him up and down. "And clean yourself up. You look a wreck."

"Fine," Anders muttered. Anders quickly got cleaned up and changed into a comfortable pair of trousers and loose fitting shirt then headed for Lil's study.

When he arrived Lillah had also changed into more comfortable attire. As he entered the room she poured both of them a large glass of brandy and motioned for him to take a seat by the fireplace.

"So what have you been doing in your room all day?" She asked.

"Reading," he replied.

"I've never known you to be a lover of books, Anders, unless it was a spell book. What has completely captivated your attention this past week?" Lillah asked.

"Rylee left me her journal to read. She had hoped that it would spark some of my memories."

"Wise woman," Lillah said dryly.

Anders cocked an eyebrow, "You don't seem too happy about the idea."

"I just think it's a waste of time. You know how head injuries are, Anders. Being around the people or environments from your past will spark those memories, not reading a bunch of words that are not yours," Lillah explained.

"It may help and it has already helped me have a better understanding of her," Anders stated.

"Will understanding her bring your memories back? We both know it won't. Will it draw you to her? Yes it will. You have to remember, my cousin is a master manipulator and an expert at persuasion. She is also in love with you and desperate to hold onto you. If she can cause you to connect with her on an emotional level even if you aren't in love with her, you will be less likely to leave her," Lillah argued.

"That isn't true. You didn't see her when she gave me the journal. She was ready to return my commitment ring I gave her, to release me from my vow."

Lillah smirked, "Damn she's good. Anders, I know that you don't remember, but Rylee's political skills and maneuvers are legendary. She held off the Arishok from invading for three years by using some fine acting skills and being extremely savvy and she just employed some of her renowned talents on you."

Anders eyes narrowed, "How do you figured that?"

"She manipulated you into thinking it was your idea for her to keep the ring. I'm sure she played on your sympathies that she only wanted what was best for you and that she might not be it anymore, but by the time she was through with you she had you begging her not to make any decisions yet. That you would wait for her return even if that return took a while… Am I close?"

Anders eyes hardened as he looked at Lillah. "What has politics done to you Lillah? You weren't always so jaded."

"I've just learned to play the game and to play it very well and so has Rylee. Women don't rise to power by being naïve and sweet."

"In everything that I have read and witnessed, Rylee is cool and calculating, but she would never in a million years try to turn me it against you."

"How can you be so sure? You don't even remember her," Lillah asked.

"Because I trust my instincts about her," Anders retorted.

"Well your instincts are wrong," Lillah snapped.

"If I were Justice would let me know, but he has nothing but the utmost respect for her. Something he seems to be struggling with in regards to the new and improved Lillah. Why are you doing this, Lil? Why are you trying to turn me against your cousin?" Anders said defensively.

"I'm not trying to turn you against her, Anders. I love and respect my cousin. I also love and respect you. I just want you to move forward with your eyes open."

"You love and respect me, huh? Since when?"

"I have always loved and respected you. What on the Maker's earth would make you think otherwise?"

"Between the two of us, who has memory loss again?"

"Anders, I've never stopped caring about you. You have been a part of my life since I was a little girl. I've loved you for as long as I can remember and that has never changed."

Anders started to choke on his brandy. "Really? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that the new way of showing love and affection is to screw the King of Ferelden in front of the one you claim to love."

"I know I have made mistakes in the past. You know better than anyone that nobody's perfect, Anders. But there has never been a time that I have not loved and respected you. That is one thing that has never changed."

Anders shook his head, "No, you don't Lil. You love the idea of someone being devoted to you, enamored by you and hopelessly in love with you. I was that person when we were in the Circle. Alistair was that person for you during the Blight and we both were that for you when you became Commander, but both of us have moved on with our lives and you haven't."

Anders slid out of his chair, knelt before her, and took her hands in his, "Lil, I love you. I always will, but I can honestly say I'm not in love with you anymore. I think when I invited Justice in, I already knew that. I was just still grieving what we had once had. Someone once told me, you have to let go of the past if you want to have happiness in the future. I've done that, now you need to do the same." He pushed a loose piece of hair behind her ear and lifted her chin to look at him. "Lillah, you are a beautiful woman on the inside as well as on the outside. You need to put the hurts of your past behind you, open yourself up once again and love will once again find you. How can it not? You're incredible."

"Just not incredible enough for you," Lillah said as she wiped a tear away.

"I'm sorry, but I gave my heart away a long time ago."

"And you feel that way even though you have no memory of it or her?"

"Yes, I can't explain it, but even if I never remember my past with her, I know deep down she is the only one who will ever truly make me happy in the future."

"My cousin is a very lucky woman."

"No, the more I read about her the more I realize I'm the lucky one and I don't deserve her."

"Does Justice really no longer respect me?"

Anders slid back into his chair and took a sip of his brandy before he spoke. "You've lost your way, Lil, and in the process you have lost who you are. I think Justice just wants to see the strong, capable, yet compassionate leader you once were. We both know she's in there somewhere." Anders said with a smile and she smiled that radiant smile of hers back.

"Thanks Anders, for being a true friend even when I'm being a complete ass," Lillah said.

"That's good. It's better to be an ass than to be an asshole. Those aren't liked very much as far as I can remember," Anders chuckled.

After several more hours of drinking and reminiscing, Anders finally made it back to his room, he quickly undressed and slipped into bed. He thought about scene Justice had showed him and he pictured how perfect her body looked against the candlelight, her long legs as she rested them on the bed, Maker he wanted to have them wrapped around his waist. He drifted into the Fade with thoughts of her on his mind.

He and Rylee were relaxing in a bath together. Anders could smell the lavender infused water.

"Would you wash my hair for me?" She asked.

"With pleasure," Anders said as he grabbed the canter of soap and poured a generous amount onto her hair. He worked the lavender infused liquid into a lather as he massaged her scalp and neck with his strong fingers as he worked out the knots in the tight muscles to help her relax as the stress drifted away. He enjoyed the quiet moans and purrs of pleasure she made and he didn't want her to stop making those sounds until he had completely ravished her.

He slowly poured water over her hair, his breath began to quicken as he watched the soapy trail cascade down her shoulders and over her breasts. When the water cleared, his tongue and lips followed the same path as the water had down her neck and shoulders. Anders smiled as she shivered against his chest at the sensation. He pulled her closer to him so she could feel his arousal as he pressed against her back.

He grabbed the sponge, lathered it up, he picked up her arm then slowly began to stroke her arm. He leisurely increased the pressure as his hand slid down her than across her breasts. He glided the sponge across her taut nipples and she arched into his hand. He brought his other hand around and caressed and pinched her nipple as he guided the sponge down her firm stomach. She shifted against him, allowing more access and she sighed out his name as his hand moved lower.

His lips nibbled and sucked down her jaw till he found her lips. His tongue hungrily plunged into her mouth as he ran the sponge across her hips and inner thighs, but he avoided the exact spot she was yearning for him to touch.

"You're such a fucking tease," she hissed.

Anders chuckled as he kissed her neck, "Lift your leg," he purred in her ear.

She did as instructed, Anders shifted in the water then he tenderly washed each leg, then he would run the sponge back up the inside, but he always stopped short of caressing her apex. Her body tensed as she moaned, "Maker, Anders, please."

Anders obeyed her pleas and moved the sponge between her legs, he stroked in small circles, increasing the speed and pressure as her body responded to his actions; she braced her foot against the side of the tub as she thrust her pelvis against his hand. He dropped the sponge and slid his fingers between slick folds while his other hand moved up to cup her breast. He dragged his thumb back and forth across the hard nipple. When he pinched and rolled the rigid peak between his fingers, she pushed against him even harder and whimpered.

His fingers slid inside her hot core and her hips bucked against his hand. "Oh Ry, you're exquisite," he moaned as he gently nipped at her neck and shoulder, causing her to tremble against him. His lips licked and sucked their way back up to her ear and as he drew the tip of her earlobe into his warm mouth, his thumb circled and stroked the taut nub between her legs. She cried out his name as a he jerked in his arms and moved rhythmically against his hand.

"Let go, Ry. Come on me," he groaned into her ear as he continued the steady stroking of her core while he teased her nipples.

Rylee threaded her one hand though his hair as she grabbed his leg with other. She braced herself against him as he continued to manipulate her body to his will and desires. She threw her head back against his chest as he thrust his fingers deep inside her, she cried out his name as her body went ridged as the ecstasy over took her and she slipped over the edge. Her shook and trembled as each multiple wave crashed over her.

He bit her neck feverishly as he pushed his throbbing groin into her bottom. "Ry, I need to be inside you…now," he growled.

He had them out of the tub in a flash; he scooped her into his arms and pressed her against the mirror that was attached to the wall. Anders kissed and licked his way down her slender body, then he parted her thighs, he lifted one of her legs over his shoulder. Slowly, lovingly, he stroked his flat tongue against her core, drinking in her sweet honey taste.

He peered around her hip to see her reflection pressed in the mirror. She grabbed his hair, pulling it hard to get his attention.

She grinned at him, "You're watching, aren't you?"

He nodded as he leaned back in and stroked her again then punctuated the action with a long hard suck of his lips. She moaned as her body quivered against his lips.

"I want to watch too," she purred.

Anders stood up, spun her around, she braced her hands against the mirror as he pulled her hips toward his, he entered her in one swift movement from behind and they both gasped from the luscious sensation of his fullness filling her.

He looked at their reflection in the mirror, Rylee's hands pressed against the wall for support, her eyes fluttering closed with desire and need, her beautiful full breasts swaying as he began to move inside of her. Anders looked at his own eyes as they darkened with hunger, lust and love. He grasped her hips as he began to thrust harder and deeper into her.

"Open your eyes, Ry. Watch the effect you have on me," Anders commanded. Her eyes opened and locked onto his.

His hand slid around her hip and stroked between her legs while the other cupped and caressed her breast. Anders kissed her back and shoulders, he moaned as he pounded into her, and she swirled her hips back against him. "Oh fuck, Ry…I-I can't get enough of you," he growled as he plunged deeper and harder into her hot wet center.

She watched him in the mirror, beads of sweat on his skin, his eyes dark, and jaw tense with the effort to try to stay in control.

"Fuck me, Anders. Let go and fuck me," she hissed.

And he complied as he grabbed her hair and bit into her shoulder. She cried out in mixture of pain and ecstasy. She cried out his name as she threw her head back and arched against him. Her inner muscles constricted around him pulling him over the edge with her, draining him completely. He continued to move inside her, not wanting to leave the sanctuary of her body. Eventually he collapsed against her in sheer exhaustion burying his head into her back.

He feathered kisses down her spine, "I love you so much, Ry."

"I love you too, Anders," she purred in exhaustion.

Anders sat up in bed; his groin has hard as rock and throbbing.

Was that real or just a dream?

It was a memory.

Maker…you were right…she is perfect for me.

A/N – A huge shout out to everyone that has added this story to their favs and alert lists and to those that have shared your thoughts with me. I really appreciate it. I also want to thank those that have added me to their favorite author's lists. It is an honor to be mentioned among such great and talented writers.

* A big thanks to the randy minx, Jinxy, for being the most shagadelic beta ever. You are the best, my dear!