CHAPTER FOUR
AS TOLD BY EMILY
Emily's POV
I sat in the chair next to Mrs. Bukater. I could tell that she didn't want to be in daddy's hospital. She remained stoic as I sat there reading a magazine in the waiting room. Suddenly, I heard a nurse saying that we were to go through the door. We got up and walked down the long corridor to the office at its head. The next thing I know, we're in daddy's office. He sat there in his high backed chair. He spoke to Mrs. Bukater only. I didn't want him to be angry with me. He didn't appear to be angry with me, but I couldn't be sure. He called me "pumpkin", that's his pet name for me. Mama calls me darling, but daddy calls me pumpkin. My dress became uncomfortable as I sat there in the chair facing him. He asked about how Rose and Elizabeth would take this; Mrs. Bukater simply stated that "Rose only knew about this, Elizabeth did not." Poor Elizabeth, if she knew I was here, she'd cry. I hated it whenever she cried. Elizabeth and I were very good friends, even though we're sisters.
A nurse had entered the room, and she was carrying what appeared to be a blue bundle. She explained that these were hospital clothes, and that I wasn't allowed to wear my dress. I got up and walked out with the nurse. We stopped into a small room, where the nurse ordered me to slip my dress over my head; this left me standing in my corset and slip. I had my bloomers on underneath my slip, so I wouldn't be completely nude.
"A polka dot slip, how cute. How old are you?" The nurse asked me. Just because I love polka dots and have under things that contain them, doesn't mean that you should judge me; especially because of my underwear. The next thing I knew, the nurse was unhooking the hook and eye enclosures on my corset. I tried to push her hand away, but she told me to relax. As she took the corset away from me, I thought of Rose. I wondered what she was doing at that very moment. I guessed that she was crying because I wasn't there. How sad would she be!
The nurse handed me a pair of pants. Until this point, I'd never worn pants before in my life. I pulled them up. They seemed so foreign to me, so strange. If only mama could see me. She'd probably feel frightened for me. I wish she were here so she could hug and kiss me, and tell me that it would be okay. Mama was good about things like that; she'd comfort me after I'd have a nightmare, or when Sophia Hobson would torment me. After I slid on my shirt, the nurse walked me to the dayroom where the other girls were. Instantly, I recognized a familiar face;
"Millicent?" It was Millicent King. The very same girl who pushed Rose down that flight of stairs at school. What was she doing here? Did she have the same thing that I had? She asked me how Rose was. I told her Rose was doing fine. She apologized to me for what she had done. I accepted her apology and was sorry that she had to be in the hospital. In a way it made me feel satisfied that she had it coming. I missed Rose terribly. I wished she was with me. I missed mama terribly. Even though Mrs. Bukater is my real mother, I still longed for mama's comforting touch. I sat at one of the tables that was congregated by a group of girls who appeared to be eleven to twelve years old. It's a shame that we must suffer from mental illness of any kind. I cannot control my mood swings, and Mrs. Bukater knows this. I think I frightened her earlier this morning. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to wear the hunter green dress. I wanted to wear something that was blue.
I looked out the window and watched the rain drops fall on the paved area outside. Great big puddles had formed in the low spots. This was all I could do; all I could do from going insane. I do hope Mrs. Bukater had made it back to my grandparents home. I feel sorry for what I did. I truly do believe I frightened her. I do love her. I even call her mommy, but in social situations, I call her Mrs. Bukater. I just hope she will love me in return. I even missed Sadie, the Bukater nanny/governess. I feel like I could tell Sadie anything, she was my confidant. She mainly kept Elizabeth under control, but she helped Rose and I; especially with getting dressed, now that we both have corsets. I wonder what they did with mine; for the nurse told me that the laces could choke me. I hope they didn't throw it away. Mama designed that corset. I received it for my thirteenth birthday, as did Rose.
Suddenly, I saw a familiar face walk through the door; it was daddy. "Come with me." He said. I got up and walked with him into a small office. He had my file out on the desk. I looked nervous, wondering what it was that he was going to tell me. "Emily, you have bipolar disorder." He said to me. My heart sank; why did it have to be me? I cringed and was visibly shaken. I began to cry, my sobs couldn't come fast enough. I just wanted to be alone, and have nobody else bother me. I feel like daddy hurt my feelings, and my rage was burning inside of me.
"You lied to me!" I said to him, becoming angry.
"Emily, you're not yourself. Do I have to get a nurse to take you back to the dayroom?" He said in a serious tone.
"No! I want mama!" I screamed. I truly did want her.
"She's not here Emily. Nurse, come in please."
I saw the nurse come in with a needle. She injected it into my arm. I screamed out in pain, but the pain stopped immediately afterwards.
"You'll feel a little drowsy Emily, but it will wear off in no time." Daddy said.
I felt like I was getting sleepy. The drug was working. The nurse helped me up and walked me out to the day room. I clumsily sat down on one of the wooden chairs and put my head down. I wanted it all to end. This was the price I had to pay for having a mood swing.