CHAPTER FIVE

RUTH AND VICTORIA

Emily's first night at Broadacres was one of terror. Her roommate kept talking in her sleep, and nearly attacked Emily. She held herself, hoping it would all go away. Sadly, this was not the case. She wet her bed in fright. This embarrassed her to no end. She lay there so helpless. Finally morning came, and with it new activity. She picked at her breakfast of oatmeal, and cried silently. Her tears were warm against her skin. How she wanted her mother. She didn't just want her mother, but she needed her. A nurse walked by her and noticed that she was crying.

"You won't be here forever. It may seem like it, but you won't." The nurse had said. Emily just shook her head in disbelief. For all she knew, she would be here forever. At once she began to question the faith she had in both Ruth and Victoria. She wondered if they truly loved her, and if they did; then why was she here? These things were the most important thoughts of the moment for Emily. She discarded her breakfast, and walked with the rest of the patients back to the day room. The only thing she could do, was just sit there and watch the rest of the patients go about their activities. She got up to ask a nurse for a pencil and a piece of paper. The nurse gave her both paper and pencil, and told her to be careful with it. Immediately she got to work.

Later that afternoon, it was visiting hours. Emily sat in the day room and waited. It seemed like an eternity, but finally she saw two familiar faces.

"Mama!" Emily said rather loudly. She walked up to Victoria and hugged her. Victoria just kissed her on the forehead and stroked her hair. Emily felt good, being loved. Even Ruth was there.

"Emily, I love you. I came as soon as I heard." Victoria purred.

"How was your first night here Emily?" Ruth asked.

"My first night was terrible. I was nearly attacked." Emily said in a frightened tone.

"What! What do you mean you were nearly attacked?" Asked Victoria.

"My roommate, she was talking in her sleep. She got up and stood beside me. It really frightened me." Emily quietly said. Victoria's face flushed. Her daughter had almost been attacked, and she wasn't there for her.

"Emily, I'm so sorry." Was all she said. So this was the best she could come up with? The guilt ate her up. Ruth noticed, as did Emily. Ruth wanted to break this odd moment, and she did.

"Emily, do not let the other patients get to you. You are strong. You are brave. Think of happy times Emily, that will surely help you."

Emily immediately replied "I'm not strong. I'm as weak as they are. I'll be here forever anyways. I don't know why you both came. Rose isn't here, there's no point."

Ruth simply shook her head. "You must understand that you'll only be here for three to five days. You will not be here forever. You must get this out of your head." Emily looked at her as if she didn't understand.

"You must understand that my father intends to keep me here, so he can study me." With this, Victoria added to the conversation.

"Emily Lovejoy Langdon, your father doesn't study you. I talked with him before we came to visit. He's releasing you in two days. I think you can wait for two whole days. Two days doesn't seem too long of a time." Victoria said in a low manner.

"Mama, if I am to be released in two days will you come visit me? I really wish you would. I miss you." Said Emily. Victoria nodded her head.

"Of course I'll be here on the day you are released. I wouldn't miss it for the world." Victoria quietly said. Ruth looked annoyed.

"How come they have such a good relationship? The Victoria I knew in school was far different. She was snobbish and full of herself. I'm glad that it hasn't rubbed off on Emily. Maybe a child is what she needed. Is she pregnant? I noticed a bit of a bulge." Ruth thought to herself. She had seen herself, that Victoria had come a ways in her maturity; gone were the days of tormenting the teachers and the headmistress. It was moments like this that made Ruth question her own maternal instinct.

"What if I fail them? What if Rose doesn't turn out to be a good person? What if Elizabeth lands in an institution? Emily must turn out to be a good mother." Ruth thought to herself again. She surely couldn't fail if she tried hard enough. She would raise her girls to the best of her ability, even if it meant having a little control in their lives. Not a lot of control, but just enough to make Ruth sure that she wouldn't fail. She loved her children, and often praised them for being so. When Emily had arrived in the household in June of 1907, Ruth wasn't sure how she'd act. Emily acted just fine, it was Ruth who worried about it too much. Too much worry, lead to Ruth wearing herself out. She couldn't keep up with her daughter. That was what worried her. She expected Emily to be full of herself, a prig, and quite possibly a brat. To Ruth's surprise, she was none of these things. It relieved her, but at the same time concerned her; for Ruth worried about the outside influences such as school.

"What if she becomes a brat due to the other girls at school? I wouldn't know what to do then." Ruth thought. She looked at the clock on the wall and realized visiting hours were over. "Victoria, I do believe we must get going. Visiting hours are over for us, we must let Emily get back to what she was doing. There's a question I'm meaning to ask you. I'll ask when we have left the hospital." Ruth said, not wanting to leave. They got up from their chairs and walked out the door. When Ruth and Victoria had left the building, Ruth pulled Victoria aside and asked the important question; "Victoria, are you pregnant?" Victoria simply nodded her head.

"That's wonderful. Have you told Emily?" Ruth asked.

"No. I'm afraid to." Victoria replied.