Everything I had

Chapter five

Doubt and blame

Kat had nearly been out of the BAU for a whole month, in that time where she was supposed to heal and rest her mind wouldn't let her keeping her up at night with the haunting images that she experienced but more importantly with the accusation that her captor had made accusing her father of murdering his 14year old daughter and rapping her. It was his vengeance that brought him to Virginia, in his mind he had a score to settle…but why had he let her live? Was it just to torture her farther? Or was it to allow her to find the truth for herself… Either way it drove Kat, forever changing her in a way she couldn't explain.

"I was going to propose to her that night, at the restraint but I got cold feet…the ring was still in my pocket when her approached us, he said he was lost he had one of those sightseeing booklets. I was looking at it when he stabbed me," Mr. Foyet explained as he pressed a napkin up to his lips to wipe his mouth. "Mr. Foyet you don't need to go through this again," Rossi spoke as Hotch and I listened, he was right though there was no need for Foyet to feel obligated to relive his traumatic experience.

"I couldn't move, I just sat there bleeding as he killed Mandi. He stabbed her 67 times; do you know how long it takes to stab somebody 67 times?" I had turned the rest out only hearing that last statement over and over again in my head; it was on the drive back that I leaned forward to talk to Hotch and Rossi.

"Who counts how many times a person they love is being stabbed?" "He was paralyzed by fear," Rossi stated glancing back at me as I sat back. "Right…" I couldn't help but mumble in disbelief.

"He knows where Foyet lives." Rossi stated "and he wants us to know it." Hotch confirmed "We'll split up and cover each address, Reid you're with me Prentiss go with Rossi, Lopez with Morgan let's get a move on." Hotch ordered as we all set out.

"I'll take the back, you two go through the front." Morgan and I both nodded as we split up to scope out the house, "I'll check the kitchen you go upstairs," Morgan comment quietly as he made his way through the living room. Holding my flash light up just above my gun I made my way up the stairs, one bedroom and a bathroom but both were clear…that's when I heard the crash.

"Morgan!" I called as I ran down the stairs looking around frantically with my flash light when I walked into the living room to see the big glass window broken. Instinctively I grabbed my radio "Hotch, Hotch this is Kat we need back up Morgan's down." I stated but before I could hear the reply something hard collided with the back of my head.

"Mmm…" I moaned as I opened my eyes to see a figure hovering over me, when I crotched over me I noticed the shinny blade in his hand and stabbed me deep into my breast bone that's when I heard it the sirens. I watched knowing if he staid to finish me off he would be caught, he knew it to as he made his way running through the house.

It wasn't long until police cars were pulling up; by this time I had already managed to get up with my hand pressed to my left breast and go out to Morgan who was unconscious on the ground. "Morgan…Morgan wake up…" I knew my voice was shaky as I lifted my other hand to caress my grandmother's necklace that I wore to only find it gone.

Looking over at the bright lights of the sirens hurt my eyes and ears soon everything blurred together, Morgan waking up and getting medical care, them finding the cops body that had came here with us the team arriving all of it was happening fast.

"Kat, are you alright?" Spencer's concerned voice asked as I lied on the stretcher receiving my own medical care, "it's just a scratch." I lied glancing toward the house where Hotch and Emily had disappeared into, "you're lucky he didn't kill you." Rossi stated as I locked eyes with him, "why didn't he?" My question seemed to make both of the stiff and shocked at the coldness in my tone.

We were on the plane right home as I sat alone in the back w stitched up, when Rossi approached me. "May I sit?" he asked and sat before I could answer, "Katherine I'm here if you want to talk, you know that right?" the concern and sincerity in his voice didn't through me as he kept himself quiet. "I don't need to talk…" I stated looking away to a window that held no escape for me.

"Are you blaming yourself?" I knew he knew it when his question hit home as my eyes locked with his. "If I had been down there I could have caught him, Morgan was alone because of me." I stated as my eyebrows knitted together in anger, "he was alone because you had to check out the upstairs, Foyet could have been anywhere in that house it was chance that Morgan was attacked first." Silently I glanced over at the other who were mostly sitting together.

"That wasn't your fault." Looking back at him I let my head hang for a moment as I got the words out that had been killing me every day for the past month, "was Melissa?" it didn't take a guineas to see the shock and caring on Rossi's face as he leant forward to put his hand on my knee. "There was nothing you could have done; she was dead before you got home. Katherine," he paused to catch my eye "maybe you should talk to someone. This job gets to all of us, but when it becomes personal sometime we don't always know how to handle it…"

His words took possible the whole flight to actually sink in; it wasn't until we had arrived back at the BAU and got word that Foyet had escaped that I made my decision. Walking into Hotch's office was probably the hardest thing I had to do after most of the team had gone home, "Hotch?" "Hmm?" as he looked up at me I knew that somewhere somehow deep inside he knew.

"What do you want me to tell the others?" He asked quietly watching my every move as I placed my badge and gun on his desk, "tell them…I needed answers that I couldn't find them here. Tell them I'm sorry, but I feel as though I can no longer do this job to my fullest abilities." "I see," he stated as he stood and made his way around his desk and gave me the biggest shock of my life as he wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace.

"We will all miss you agent Lopez," smiling as I tucked a piece of my long dark hair behind my hair I told him "Not nearly as much as I'm going to miss everyone, and how many times have I told you its Kat." That night I had collected my personal belongings from my desk and went home to the apartment that never felt safe no matter how many locks I put on the door to pack up the things I needed to take with me and bought a last minute plane ticket for the next morning.

I was going home.

(Note: unexpected right? I thought so since I didn't really see it ending this way . anyway where do we go from here? Kat said she needed answers and we see her heading home on a plane the next morning, does this scream family reunion to you to? I guess we're just going to have to wait to find out.)