Everything I had

Chapter six

Just the beginning

I couldn't help but to go over the case file again and again after I had Garcia to collect all information on a murder case where the victim was Nina Harris on my first week off. She looked just like Melissa and I had as children, long brown hair small pale girl with a few freckles…our dad was rapping us again and again through other children.

This time he wasn't getting away with it, he had cause Melissa her life in more than one way at one point in time he had cost all of his children their lives. Daniel with his drug problem as a teenager because of the sexual abuse, Timmy trying to commit suicide again and again, Melissa getting pregnant at 15 than having to give her baby up for adoption because he wouldn't let her abort the pregnancy…he had single handedly stolen all of our childhoods and now he was stealing innocent girls that he didn't even know and murdering them…

I knew where the key was outside of the house to let myself in with, I knew no one would be home yet as I walked through the house that hadn't looked like it hadn't changed in the slightest. I had found myself walking up stairs to the bedrooms stopping at each one, he had forced mom into leaving them the way they were when we left.

He had lied to her telling her that way we would always feel like we had a place to come back to, but that wasn't the case. It was simply so he could revisit the rooms where he committed his crimes. I had made my way to his bedroom where I knew he kept his spare gun, I hadn't really planned on using it but just encase I needed it I wanted to have it.

After I entered my old room, images of my childhood all came flooding back to me the good and the bad. Sighing I sat on my bed feeling defeated, what was I doing here? What did I really expect to accomplish…I couldn't take the law into my own hands I knew better than that…and yet I felt like I had to do something that if I didn't stop him no one would…but how?

I couldn't just go to the police department with this he worked with them, they'd never believe it. I couldn't call Hotch this wasn't an official case and even if it was that meant having to tell him and everyone else on the team about Nina Harris…and my childhood. I wasn't ready for that; I would never be ready for that.

It was a depressing day at the BAU office filled with paperwork, no one really understood why she had up and left without saying goodbye. "Boss," Garcia knocked on Hotch's door nervous as he glanced up from his own paper work "come in Garcia." "I uh, I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come out and say it. After Kat got out of the hospital she asked me to get her a copy of Nina Harris's case file she asked me not to say anything…but I think it had something to do with why she left, and I thought you should know…I printed you off a copy." She stated as she placed the file on Hotch's desk then made a hasty retreat for the door.

Silently Hotch stared down at the case file, he knew her leaving had something to do with when she was abducted and tortured she hadn't been the same in the past month just like when Reid was having his drug issue Hotch wasn't able to help Reid…and now he wasn't able to help Kat either. He had thought that her leaving was because of the unsub still being unknown and escaping, for that reason he understood why she wanted to leave. That was why he had let her go.

The turning knot of guilt in his stomach had him opening the case file; Nina Harris was a 14year old girl rapped and murdered from the same home town as Katherine was from. Were the two cases related? Katherine wasn't rapped, but for some reason she had Garcia pull this file…there must have been a connection.

Elsewhere Reid couldn't help but to feel useless he hadn't been able to protect Kat, not when she was abducted and not at their last crime scene…he cared deeply for her, something he had only recently admitted to himself and the rest of the team in the past month everyone knew everyone but the one person that matter the most. The one who he needed to know he'd have to face may never know.

Morgan on the other hand was watching everyone else around him, maybe it was because of Kat's abrupt departure that he felt the need to hold the ones he loved closer than before out of fear of losing them. Watching Reid he knew the man must have been feeling worse than anyone else, Reid had never actually admitted to having romantic relations with Kat but then again he didn't have to it was obvious that the dynamics in their relationship had changed after he had been tortured.

JJ and Emily were both silent in the news of losing a teammate and a friend, neither of them could quiet grasp what Kat had gone through not only being tortured and nearly dying but she had lost her sister everyone seemed to forget that fact at times, that the first victim the one they had found in Kat's apartment was her sister Melissa's body. Thinking about it they felt guilty, not because it wasn't Kat but because of the overwhelming relief that they had all felt when finding out that it wasn't Kat, no one had actually been sympathetic for her loss but merely happy that they hadn't lost her.

Rossi on the other hand was a different story, he had seen through the smoke cloud that Kat had put up from the very moment she walked through the doors of the BAU when she returned to work. He could tell from her and Reid's lack of communication she had isolated him in the past month which probably caused him to feel guilt for not being able to protect her, of course that wasn't why she isolated him Rossi could tell that she did it because I knew that she wasn't going to stay it was just a matter of time until she left.

Rossi had thought that just maybe he could have gotten through to her on the plane back home; he didn't want to see her go. He could tell that she needed the team now more than ever, but she wasn't willing to reach out to all the hands that eagerly wanted to hold her…why? Hadn't they earned her trust over the years…of course they had but then what was no what had pulled her away from them?

(Note: Okay so this wasn't what I really had in mind but I've decided to give this to you now anyway not sure when the next chapter will be out I've sort of hit a temporary wall I have a vague idea about what is on the other side but I haven't quite figured out how to demolish this wall…so feedback would be awesome!)