Now Jimmy was correct in thinking that the Prince was in a bad mood. Being sent to the commoner's court on his 18 birthday was not the type of party he had in mind. So he was preparing to be angry and upset until he could go riding. This was his favorite thing to do.

Listener: He could ride? What about his…girth?

Author: AHAHAHAHAH! Sorry uh no, I was not laughing at you but of the picture of a fat guy trying to get on a horse….man that will keep me laughing for days…

Listener: Well none of us care why you are laughing so get on with it!

Author: Sorry, anyway because of his weight problem, he would probably snap the legs of any horse that they could get him on, so he would ride in a carriage. Sometimes Jimmy would ride in the carriage with him (think smothered by pillows) or he would ride alongside on a horse. But that was not very often…

Listener: Why would the prince like sitting in a carriage?

Author: Keep your suspenders on! I was getting to that part. The reason he liked these rides was the people. It allowed the adoring public to worship from afar and bask in his awesomeness. He was of course vain and when the people looked at him with "awe" he was excited and wanted the attention to continue. So every day the kitchen would pack him a huge basket filled with massive amounts of food. This basket was pulled by a different carriage and the ride could start.

Listener: Well that makes sense I guess, but why didn't he like commoner's court?

Author: Being a prince is difficult work, we all agree. I mean he has to eat food, amuse himself every day, that's tough. So to cut in on his planned day of fun and enjoyment is serious business. Not to mention he would have to actually listen whiny pheasants talking about their problems when he has problems too, like his free time being taken up by the court.

Listener: I just lined up five stinkbugs in a line with a string!

Author: …..Ok I guess explanation time is over….

Jimmy ran down the hall hoping he would not the brunt of the prince's anger. Too many rug burns the last time.

Fortunately as he neared the prince he saw that the prince was talking to Gingerswallow. (You remember it's the old dude who has no mother at the moment) And they were talking about how it was perfect weather to go riding in.

Actually let's rephrase that, the prince was talking in loud tones about how much he wanted to go riding and the court magician was assuring him that the sky would be perfectly clear if he wished to go out for one.

Just ahead lay the doors to the commoner's court, and they looked fancy and stuff as all doors look in castles. (But who cares about them) The guards on either side of the doors began to pull them open because the prince was approaching.

Yes it was one of those dramatic door entrances that happens in every good story. And it looked very dramatic.

On the other side was a huge pile of presents. (I will give you two guesses and the first two don't count as to whose presents these were.) The prince began to open them immediately. And throw them over his shoulder. Or just plain break them. (Have you ever seen a five year old under the Christmas tree, ripping open his presents and then throw them aside for the next toy? Neither have I but that must have been what this was like.)

The commoners were staring at the Prince in astonishment, disgust, and a bit of horror. But let's leave them to that and descend to the darkest deepest dankest (notice the alliteration) part of the castle.

(I would say that it was too dark even for the rats to be there, but that would make no sense and there was some living there…so let's move on) An old witch lived down there, as well as a rare type of mushroom that could cure hangnails. She was old, which means she must have been evil. (It's the only logical explanation really)

That day she decided to go gather some meadowwart (I have no idea if that is a real plant but it sounds really spiffy) for her magical potions or whatever she does down there...

So she strapped on her red high heels, (because even witches like to dress up) and her mustard jacket, (because I might have forgotten to mention she was colorblind) picked up a basket that little red riding hood would have beaten the wolf over the head for, and set out.

You are probably wondering about how she got out of the castle, and you may be wondering if anyone knew she lived down there and you might even be wondering what she has to do with the story. Am I right?

Good.

I won't tell you.

There now that we have that in the open I feel a lot better and so should you. Anyway the old witch (who had by this time gotten out of the castle) was walking down the road. (Yes she could walk)

When she heard something behind her, in fact it was a noise that she heard behind her. This of course if you guessed it and even if you didn't, was the prince out on his ride.

To find out how the prince came to be on his ride we have to go back at least ten maybe twenty minutes to when he was opening his presents. He finished opening them and the room looked like the energizer bunny had come through banging his little drum and messing stuff up as only he can. The king had watched this in silence and seemed to radiate disapproval. (I have no idea how he did that) Finally the presents were hauled away by some servants to the prince's room where they would work to fix all the things that got broken. Anyway the prince sat down in his chair that was sitting to the left of his father's hand. And the court began. The first peasant came up with his problem about his wife dying and them losing the farm and the king asked his son what he would do in this situation.

Well the prince had only heard a few words that the man had said and he responded that guy should get a better life and stop ruining mine.

Ooh. Yeah it was bad. If the king was radiating disapproval before he was practically dripping it now. And the peasants looks like they were about to start a revolt right then and there.

So the king quickly took charge by dismissing the prince from participating anymore and asked the guards to bring in a lot of food and the dancing monkey. Because everyone knows that people forget their problems when they are fed and entertained. Especially with a dancing monkey.

So that was why the prince was now coming down the road with his customary two carriages. Not that the old witch knew anything about that.

The carriage drew up right in front of her and stopped, today was one of those days when Jimmy was inside the carriage with the prince.