Disclaimer: I don't own Monk
"You mean it really is her," Monk said delighted
"Monk," Leland said, "There's a little issue of 2nd degree murder here."
"It was an accident," Monk said
Leland looked at Randy.
"Do you want to handle this or should I," Leland said.
"I will," Monk replied, "It will give me a few minutes with her if nothing else"
Leland sighed.
"You sure," he asked
"Yes." Monk said
...
Monk had the rights speech known from memory but as he reunited with the person he loved he could not say the rights speech right. Instead of saying you have the right to he said I have the right to. He even cuffed himself instead of her.
"Is he seriously doing what it looks like he's doing,' Randy asked trying not to laugh
"Do I understand what I just said," Monk asked.
At that they couldn't help laughing. It was hilarious.
"Wait," Monk said, "I mean um... I mean-"
"Never mind that Monk," Leland said, "I haven't filled out the incident report yet. It looks to me like it was an accident"
"Captain," Randy said, "What about your morals"
"I don't give a fuck about my morals at this point," Leland said, "I care about my friend. He went through years of hell when he lost her and I'm not about to let him go through another 3-5 years of hell again or even 3-5 minutes. It was an accident."
"But how could-"
"It wasn't premeditated," Leland explained, "That means it was an accident."]